Name: Punching Holes in Walls w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-11-11T22:09:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Punching Holes in Walls w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Punching Holes in Walls w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-11. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
Fantastic. Home run. This one's from Tony P.
As a minor, were you allowed to post nudity on your walls?
Because if you were, your parents stunk.
Holy shit. Those walls had holes in them, I can tell you that.
Yeah.
For sure. The kid with a couple of holes punched in his room?
Yeah.
That went un-re-drywalled?
I knew, I mean, I knew if I punched a hole in our wall, it was gonna be a thing.
Sure.
It wasn't just ending it like, you gotta fix the wall.
It had to be a major blowout.
It would have to be a big Sunday night, fully fucking WrestleMania throwdown.
Had to be something big. Real big.
Yeah.
Me and my brother going at it like a building all weekend.
Then it explodes.
And I'm in my room, punch the hole in the door, dad comes in.
Yeah, no, we never, that would be, my fucking head would be through a wall.
No fucking way. No way. Never.
Yeah.
I knew enough to not, yeah.
Those linoleum doors when I was a kid, man.
Linoleum?
Linoleum, yeah.
That's what it is. Luan, I'm sorry, Luan.
Yeah, linoleum.
What's that?
It's like marble.
That's how trashy you are.
You think linoleum, linoleum's like plastic made to look like marble.
It's like marble, yeah.
Which I was like, maybe he did have linoleum doors.
Who knows what the fuck's going on in that house?
I mean, like, yeah, like kitchens in the 80s and 90s.
Sure, sure, sure.
The floor was linoleum.
Luan, I'm thinking of Luan.
Those cheap Luan wood doors.
Yeah, like they're hollow.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything, anything like that had to be hidden.
It was hidden away.
What?
The nudity.
Putting fucking like a, I mean, I knew some kids that were able to get like the,
whatever
our version of the Britney Spears poster was.
We did that.
I was allowed to do that.
Tony Katane, whoever it was back when I was like, Pamela Anderson.
You get her in a bikini, maybe.
Yeah, like the Sports Illustrated had the poster or whatever.
Yeah, I was allowed those, but like 18 and it was kind of like.
Those Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues when I was a kid before, you know, I.
Oh my God.
Kathy Ireland, the works.
Man, I don't know what it was.
That was more of a Nancy Scottish kind of guy.
I don't know what beach they were at or whatever.
Nothing you could go to.
It wasn't Wildwood.
I don't know where in Jersey they were.
Man.
Must have been Ventnor.
Get them coming right out of the water.
Ooh, that was almost better because there was a little imagination.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But then eventually you get old enough.
Sure.
That just won't do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Now, no, no, no, no, no nudies on the walls.
I remember, I think I, I'm sure I've said this at some point.
My, my stepdad's had like a car shop and like, we're like other guys.
Sure, sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, the calendars.
Come on.
Yeah, they had, yeah.
They had some cutouts on like one of those snap on fucking.
Three laps around the sand grinder, huh?
Yeah, dude.
I was like, yeah, what's over here?
What's back over this way?
What's going on over there?
Where's the Bantaman again?
Try to memorize it like fucking John Nash.
Get it burned in your brain.
I can, yeah, I still pay.
And the one there was a, they had a, in the one like pickup truck or whatever,
there was
a, an air freshener with a lady in a yellow string bikini.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't know what she's up to nowadays, but she lived in my mind for quite some
time.
Talk about rent free, huh?
Yeah.
Usually what would, what would be the situation is because it was never just
that.
It was never just a friend that was able to have nudie posters on his wall.
There was a whole other, you know, there was so much that came with it.
There was never just that one thing.
There was holes in the walls.
The mom didn't clean.
You were allowed to skateboard in the backyard.
Like that's the kid that built like a half pipe back there.
That's so funny.
You bring that up.
I would, I wrote that down for an AYG.
It's never just one thing.
The kid that could have a half pipe was bad news.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
In the backyard?
Yeah.
With stolen construction wood?
Was that was so.
That I stole?
Yeah.
That was so bad news.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A hundred percent.
I remember I asked him, like, can we have a half?
Because some kid in my, kid like a couple years older than me in like the bad,
you know,
the shittier area had one.
Cover with like big blue tarps.
It was a talk about an eyesore.
Yeah.
I didn't get it as a kid.
Yeah.
But now I'm looking back.
My parents are like, get the fuck out of here.
Property value.
Come on.
Have all these kids, have all these Tobys hanging around.
Yeah, no shit.
I'll say this, though, that mom, the kid that was allowed to have the halftime
pipe.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I can't skate transition.
I don't.
I'm a street skater.
I don't do vert.
Okay.
Maybe big air if it's available.
You're also not invited.
Get your bike and get out of my yard.
Hey, listen, take your rollerblades and hit the fucking bricks, will you?
Before we start playing target practice with our BB gun.
Remember that when that thing was turned on you?
That same kid that had the half pipe?
Had the BB gun.
Shot my buddy.
Somebody.
With the half.
Sure.
With the BB gun.
Shot him with a half pipe.
Shot him with a BB gun.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That was that.
Also, that's where I almost got my eye blown out with a firecracker.
This kid's bad news now that I'm doing the math.
That's how it works.
It's never just one thing.
No, it's ever.
The parents were never around.
The parents were never around.
The dad was never around.
It was never a house that you would ever, in a million years, think about
eating over.
However, that house always had the best iced tea or juice mix in the
refrigerator.
Yeah, because there was no regulator on it.
There was no regulator on it.
It was a pound of sugar.
Yeah.
The iced tea at that house out of the fucking plastic pitcher would blow your
hair back.
And the mom, nine out of ten times, was pretty attractive.
I don't know if I ever met this kid's mom.
Really?
That's what it was like.
Wow.
Well, he was friends with it.
He was a neighbor of my friend.
So, like, we would, you know, it wasn't like a direct line of contact.
Meeting the mom for the first time was scary.
Yeah.
Is she going to come home from work and lose it?
Yeah.
There was definitely houses where, like, I spent a lot of time where I'm like,
are there even, do you have parents?
What the fuck is going on here?
That's the type of crib where you see your first broken bone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where you're like, ah, put it back, put it back, put it back.
You got little faces of death going on in the VHS.
Fantastic question.
All right.
This one's from A Poppy to Sloppy.
Ever call out of work because you're too sunburned from the weekend.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.