Name: Skipping Work for Sunburn w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2022-11-25T22:03:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Skipping Work for Sunburn w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Skipping Work for Sunburn w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-25. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
All right, this one's from A. Poppy to Sloppy.
Ever call out of work because you're too sunburned from the weekend?
Talking about a July 4th question.
I don't know, but I'm gonna. I'll tell you that.
Well, if I get a phone call on Thursday that you're too sunburned, I'm gonna
know what's up.
That's a sign. I don't think classy people get that burn because they've done
it before.
It's the guy who's like, I just gotta get a good base.
If you ever say I gotta get a good base, you're trash.
Because I say you gotta get a good base.
One good burn, let it sit in, and then do some maintenance on it.
Again, it comes with baggage.
It's not just that one thing.
Because there's a good chance that you didn't just get sunburned.
You went out and you got fucking hammered.
Yes, that's what I'm saying. You're drunk.
So you're really not not coming in because of the sunburn.
It's because of the hangover, which now involves sunburned because you're a bozo.
Yes, exactly.
It's a series of shitty mistakes.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's bad.
Now's the time of year you'll see on barstool people posting videos of dudes
that are like fucking lobster red.
Fried?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you get away with that?
Can you call out a work from sunburn?
I don't know if I didn't know how to do that.
I've had such bad sunburn where I couldn't do anything.
I go strep throat all the time.
That's my number one excuse.
I got strep throat.
But I've, yeah, that's a big one.
That or pink eye too.
Ooh.
Yeah, the pink eye, they want a picture.
Yeah, you just do this.
I used to go in the bathroom and just fucking rub my eye and come out and be
like, there's
something wrong with my eye.
And I used to work it out.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Damn, that's genius.
Yeah.
Never thought of that.
I would do it.
And then like 10 minutes later, go back in.
You know, so you're building a story.
You know what I mean?
Like if somebody sees you, you're like, oh, your eyes are all right.
I don't know.
I don't fucking do me.
I blind myself.
I throw a thing of bleach in your face.
And there's a party.
There's a party tonight starting at eight.
I got to get the fuck out of here.
I got to say, mushing your finger in your eye is a great way to get pink eye.
Sure.
In a public bathroom?
Yeah, for sure.
That's funny.
But then I would be like, yeah, my eye itches or something.
And then they see it.
And they go, oh, shit.
You can't be fucking bagging people's groceries with pink eye.
Fucking out the.
I'm like, are you sure?
I'll stay.
Nah, nah, go, go.
Don't touch nothing and get out.
Pink eye is gross, man.
I was petrified of that when I was a kid.
You didn't want pink eye.
No.
Never a good look.
Did either of you ever have lice growing up?
Goddamn right.
It twice.
We've talked about this on the podcast.
That's insane.
I don't think I've ever known anybody with lice.
Well, you know two people.
Oh, God.
Who have it now?
Yeah, I had it twice.
Once on the 4th of July, believe it or not.
Oh, wow.
We left the anniversary.
I didn't get anything.
I would have got you a bottle of log of wool and 16, at least.
We were on our way.
We were on our way.
So where were you three years ago?
Third anniversary.
We were on our way to a 4th of July party to watch the fireworks at my dad's
friend's house.
Somehow.
God damn it, Henry.
Yeah.
He was so pissed.
Had to turn around, drive back.
We had to go right upstairs.
Fucking burn the car.
We had to go right upstairs and start doing the comb.
My mom did the comb.
I don't even know what that means.
Oh, it's this fine comb that they ripped the fucking things out.
My mom loved it.
She was up there like ripping them out.
Brutal.
We're both crying.
He's downstairs drinking alone.
Good times.
Good times.
Happy birthday, America.
About as American as it gets right there.
Two little kids squawking upstairs.
Yeah.
Hot dogs, freedom, headlice.
Hot dogs, freedom, and headlice.
This one, this is just a home run.
This is from Regan.
What is the crumb situation in your gear shifter?
I would say Foley's probably got a six piece and a small fry if I had to guess.