Name: Lotto Scratchers w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2023-01-10T22:00:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lotto Scratchers w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lotto Scratchers w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-10. Transcript available.

are you garbage speaking of crazy um i were your hosts i picked up a little bit
of another little
tidbit it uh tidbit okay what did i say i don't know i picked up another little
tidbit um from
patty from your mother from my mother uh-huh uh something i didn't know and no
i know in the broad
45 years i never trust her i know she's a little squirrely she's a good kid
though makes a hell of
a cutty make a hell of a cutlet um she's listening to this too so she's looking
walk carefully this
world world famous bluebells shallow fried cutties shallow fried yeah shallow
fried finished in the
oven finished in the fryer double finished in the fryer um what i guess they
got they got a hot
ticket going down there with the lottery and pa i guess the numbers are up okay
well the numbers are
up everybody get every there's a lot more pulls every dirt bag off a pullout
couch everybody is
involved talking about it talking to the guy at the fucking how would you but
you know it's only 50
million after taxes that's the biggest dirtball line anytime it's cooking so
there must be a hot one
i'm sorry saturday and she's like henry where do you think can i borrow 10
grand
it's for my numbers she said what do you think the luckiest part of the
refrigerator is
what yeah to put the magnets on to put this to put the tickets oh my god in a
magnet now you can't teach
that kind of dirt bag level hold on there is some religion involved in it
because there's different
saints oh i was thinking it was going to be lab coats and whiteboards yeah oh i
didn't know there
was different saints in your refrigerator why didn't you say something henry
there's different over
here like an asshole didn't know fucking saint thomas was in there there's
different mass cards with
saints on them around around the uh around the refrigerator and things are
placed who's the
patron saint of scumbags is it patty tom barrage so i don't know what's really
going on uh and i i've
just discovered this that she puts things around with the different saints to
where the good juju is
oh my god like if it's something with the kids she puts it over towards this i
get yeah i guess on a
hot streak you know she puts it over with yeah whoever's got the hot hand in
the dice game
talking about that clackity clack let's go picture away no amy no amy no amy so
i i discovered that
and i got a scratcher from her which i hit five probably not going to see a
dime of that money
wait so what do you do when you hit five you give it back to her yeah give it
back to her let her let
her handle what we do because we're it's pa yeah sure if it was up here i'd
take it with this is a
gentleman's move performed by my stepdad many a year and he still does it he's
big on his scratchers
he's a little trashy uh real big on the scratchers i'm talking like a couple hundo
christmas morning
what is that film made of because it's been it's fascinating me since i was a
child it's it's like
you know wax no it's like aluminum foil type stuff it's like a it's like a
metal type there you know
there's some sort of something in there she tried to give me a penny too what i'm
a quarter well
that's bad luck you need ridge you can't be doing scratchers with a penny i
think you used a quarter
that would have been a five g odds no i think a quarter is what you do quarters
to move yeah of
course so you can't be doing a penny dude the top result on what is the scratch
off film made of
on google is one word technology period there you go
out of space technology i don't know how to i can't explain this technology
i don't know how they write the shamrocks and the cherries underneath that shit
that's what i don't
know how come how come the how come the cherries aren't coming off with the top
layer
what's the icing made of you tell me that i've seen a four-leaf clover
my my stepdad he operates as like a liaison or the bank really he buys the he
buys the ticket off
of you yeah so if you hit for five or ten or fifteen does he cash checks too
what's the
he pulls get a payday loan from this guy everybody it adds up what you got i
got to i got what sorry
let me ask you this he gives these out he gives them all out to everybody and
then and then so like
if it's christmas sure i'm his nephew or whatever grand i come over i hang out
here you go buddy here's
a couple of scratchers for you i hit he takes them he gives me the money and
then he goes and
yeah that's the fucking classiest fucking thing that's a one-stop shop right
holy shit yeah so
say you went for five because i got you give me the call give me the winner he
checks too he checks
because he makes sure it's a winner he's got the scanner he's not i burn him a
couple of times if
we're being honest there's a there's a couple december 26 where i got a phone
call tell me it was
100 grand you won a dollar uh he pays you give me the winner put the winners
over here and then
oh you got a five that's like a casino i know because your room too
once you have a little breakfast on us tomorrow morning hey sugar tits make the
eggs like the kid
likes them dude that's fucking insane yeah it's cool he does it right he does
it right you of course i
give it back to my mom i'm not fucking going to whatever yeah but she should
just give you the
five well i mean come we're not operating that's a half a pack of bernie's he's
he's the borgata
she's the tropicana all right she's played by different rules on the other side
of atlantic
city all right we're not down there on the water she's big shot all right we're
back bay people you
guys are inland you guys are up by vineland dude no shit yeah she doesn't and
she doesn't have the
kind of capital to be doing that the five claims on it but i'm just saying most
of the times you get
those things and it's i yeah you know you you turn it in because when you get
even like a gift card
or something like that there's a job involved there you gotta go do something
yeah yeah yeah but to have
the fucking foresight and the class i know that's that's honestly one of the
classiest things like
what a fucking gentleman because it's the holidays it's like you're not really
getting the reward of
the thing sure but you're getting the fun of scratching the thing and then you
get a couple of
fucking paid right there couple of five shows does he does he take anything
like if you win five bucks
does he give you 475 no there's no shipping and handling nothing he doesn't
even wet his beak on it
damn yeah damn i think oh what the scam he might be the foliage we'd be looking
i'll give you three
you know i'll buy it for you for three right now how you're gonna get there
yeah exactly what he might
do this this might be because he you know uh is this calculated he might keep
uh the free tickets
if you would you win a free ticket he's not paying you that's not a cash that's
not a cash prize what
do you do you're going i'm not going to drive the fucking wawa for a one two
dollar ticket he goes i'll
take the freebies so he might get all the freebies back and then go parlay and
see if he can get some
action see if he can sit at a big table you know what i mean see how hardens
playing he's also
looking for an excuse to go have a fucking bernie outside of my mom's you know
outside of my mom's
radar i gotta go cash in the thing he's down there fucking he's got winston's
cooking those dudes
tends those guys tends tend to hang too we're at the at the ticket wherever
they get the tickets
well he doesn't play it's my it is just a very uh christmas type thing oh he's
gonna scratch your
guy all year no not full time huh no he wouldn't piss money away like that he's
moonlighting
yeah he's a one time one time a year and he plays the bank too you know nice he's
a good guy i like
that that's that's pretty nice right when i do a scratcher i'll do them on the
road just because
you're like ah it's something to do and it's like rarely i'll do them but you
do them before you leave
the gas station oh whatever i'm not getting i'm not taking connecticut scratchers
to the hotel
then to take i'm doing it there that's why when you're grabbing see if you can
put a couple pieces
together you know what i mean that's why when you're grabbing a snicky's there's
always some
guy next to the line yeah trying to get that off for sure anyway i was i was
unaware that we were
in that level of craziness oh i mean i could have told you for sure the tickets
are around the fridge
i love you patty yeah that blew me who won now i don't know who won what not i
think i mean what
saint got well you know what saint has the has the hot real estate right now it
was in the top right
corner i don't know who that is i don't know who the saint is dr j yeah alan iverson
we're talking about lotto i'm not sure but i'll be looking for my taste if it
hits obviously that's
the i'm sitting here talking shit right now about the poor woman of course who
i love to death of
course we both do shout out to patty that's the difference between me and you
you quote dr j and i
say alan iverson if that's not like the biggest discrepancy of our of our
comedy and references
being born a different decade 10 years older than i know i'm aware a good kid
dr j was our guy yeah i
know um whoa whoa we're in the metaverse are we i don't know you don't know
what's going on i don't
know what's going on but anywho let's get into some garbage questions let's do
it