Name: Shorts in the Winter w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip
Uploaded: 2023-01-13T22:00:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shorts in the Winter w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shorts in the Winter w/ Kippy & Foley - Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast Clip' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-13. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
This one's from Stanley.
Just say, shorts in the winter, question mark?
Oh, yeah.
You were never that guy, were you?
I was never that guy growing up, but now that I've reached my full potential.
Is that what you've been calling it?
I've reached max capacity.
There is a line of fatness that you cross where you can become that guy,
and it's really just about self-insulation.
Like, you've got to be...
It's also, I don't think you have a lot of pants that fit.
Sure.
It's a fabric issue.
It's not, my legs don't get cold.
No.
I'm not...
You know, as a bigger man, you're not rolling in pants.
Your pants are few and far between.
I'm not, but if a fat guy's cold, a fat guy's cold.
A fat guy's not going to go out there.
He'll go out and get himself a pair of sweatpants and not go out in shorts.
If he's cold, I'm telling you, it doesn't affect us the same way.
I don't even know if I'm still human.
You were just shivering outside.
You were the one that wanted to come inside, shivering.
I get a chill every now and again, but I'm telling you, if I have to leave my
place to
walk to the deli or something like that to get something...
That's different.
I'm talking about, like, going to high school in shorts.
No, I didn't go to high school in shorts.
My legs were terrible.
There's chicks there.
What do you mean?
I can't get any chicks out of here.
Walking around in shorts.
I didn't have that.
Yeah, I never did that.
I was never big on that.
I was never even the kid that, like, pushed it early.
You know what I mean?
You'd have that while, like, you know, March 2nd or something.
It'd be getting kind of nice.
It'd be, like, 55 and some kid would wear shorts.
Shorts were different when I was a kid, though.
We were still in the shorts.
I'd love to hear this take.
They went down past the knee.
We didn't know what we were doing.
They did.
They were, like, bigger and, like, bloomier.
They were different.
Now these kids are wearing tighties.
They're wearing short shorts.
I know.
I can't pull them off.
No.
Even, like, regular bozos.
I remember seeing pictures of cookouts and stuff last summer
with the fucking Hawaiian shirts.
They're all wearing fucking short shorts.
You got fat guys wearing short shorts.
Yeah.
What the fuck's this world coming to?
Get a pair of N1s.
Hit the deviled eggs.
Like a fucking gentleman.
Can't do it.
All right.
This one.
But I do say the cold.
I've reached the fatness where the cold doesn't affect me as bad.
It's probably an artery thing, I would assume.
I think it's a blood flow.
Circulation.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which, you know, it's almost like a superpower.
Yeah.
I'm surprised.
When do you get those, like, tough-looking ankles that people get,
that those fat guys get?
You see them walking.
Oh, I got them.
Do you know what I mean?
I believe you're referring to cankles.
Yeah, no.
I mean, I know what a cankle is, obviously.
But I'm saying the skin gets, it's a blood flow issue, I think.
It's referred to as lymphedema.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's when the blood doesn't go, doesn't get.
Well, when do you get it?
That's what I want to know.
Because the second you do, I'm done.
We're done this podcast.
I step off a three-minute fucking plane ride.
What are you talking about?
I look like I'm on my way to bingo.
I smell up, like fucking-
If I got to start pushing you around, come on.
Tighten it up.
You are.
Please.
For the listener, also, too, I am very proud of the work you've been putting in.
Fuck it in the gym, man.
Kobe, cut that.
AG1, shout out to it.
All jacked up.
No, no, no.
Not this week, I don't think.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Plus, baseball just stopped testing people if they're juicing.
Yeah.
Oh, you got to shop in.
What, are you going to think, what, are you going to get in?
No.
Try the twilight years?
No, but roids are going to come back in style.
I think they've always been in style.
I could get all juiced up.
Yeah.
Some D-balling me.
Go old school.
I see.
It's called lymphedema.
It's when your heart doesn't pump strong enough to get the blood back up.
It's in my family.
Not shocked.
Like a cousin in the back of a Thanksgiving photo.
But when your feet turn all red, like your extremity, it's your feet.
Usually, the blood collects in your ankle.
It turns all red and stuff, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They sell things.
They sell.
I know, the tights.
I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, the things that you hook up and they massage the legs.
Pump the, yeah.
Pump it up.
Yeah, my dad's got them.
Yeah, they're called his legs things.
And I use them all the time.
They're called his leg things?
Yeah.
Was that the medical knowledge you just dropped?
They're called his leg things.
Guys, you get that out there?
They're called leg things.
But it's awesome.
Talk about self-care.
You sit in that thing for an hour, it really feels good.
It really gets things moving.
People do it now as preventative care.
Like, in shape, people are doing it.
I'm not a scumbag.
He's not wrong.
Like, all the Red Bull athletes fuck with that shit.
Yeah, there you go.
I didn't say anything.
Oh, Foley House.
He's fucking in PT.
We're getting fucking tight over there.
Sure.
Telling you.
Crazier than ever, too.
Foley, which of these dumbbells are the lucky ones?
Somebody put my leg things under the lucky washing machine.
I want to fill them with superpowers.