Name: $10,000 Roulette Spin w/ Bert Kreischer - Are You Garbage Clips
Uploaded: 2023-01-27T22:01:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '$10,000 Roulette Spin w/ Bert Kreischer - Are You Garbage Clips' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '$10,000 Roulette Spin w/ Bert Kreischer - Are You Garbage Clips' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-27. Transcript available.

we just did all this because we filmed in another patron goal was it was ten
thousand dollars on
black once we got to a certain goal we're just gonna go drive down to ac put
ten thousand on
black how did i not grow up with you guys you know this is like where my brain
lives i know so
then akash came on and like we announced it like oh shit this is the new goal
akash goes i'll double
it if you hit it just being a fucking rich motherfucker he goes i'll double it
so we go
fuck okay so it comes around we hit it we're like shit wait so wait start from
the beginning please
so so i i don't i don't even know what a patreon goal is sure the patreon goes
like you said like
once we get to 2 000 patrons we'll do this and since we're garbage it's just so
let's pull up
let's pull up your patreon so everyone can go sure so sign up for your patreon
right now oh thank you
and by the way i want to sign up for it i want to be a part of this okay um so
the next one so it was
like whatever we went once we hit like 3 500 patrons two grand a month by the
way uh yeah
you got it yeah it's two grand a month
special vip just for you um so so so right now scrolls keep i don't um so that's
the newest
yeah all right so you set like a community like they call it community baseballs
or whatever a number
once we get a certain number of patrons we'll do this so the first big one was
like we'll take him
to disney and then you know okay so so the the this one's disney the one before
this was so we've
just we our patrons been growing quickly so we haven't been able to even shoot
them before we're
hitting the next goal the one before this was we take 10 grand we go down at atlantic
city
we walk in we put it on black and we see what happens all based upon we were
drunk one night at
fucking a steakhouse and and we don't really got 10 grand yeah we just started
making money we don't
have 10 grand to lose it hurt that way and so yeah by the way it hurts for
everybody of course i know
so we're clear so it really grand for everyone stings a bit i know of course i
met a dude i saw a dude
that i went to college with doug fattish shout out to doug fattest i had just
gotten my beard shaved
at one of those beard places and i told him to do a goatee and i had a full
beard and instead of
doing a cool goatee he just did a circle around those are the worst dude those
are fucking pervert city and i
ran in i ran into i saw doug fattest right i had this horrible thing on my face
and i'm like
oh i don't want to see him but i was like doug and he was like hey hold on hold
on hold on
and i saw this guy i haven't seen in 10 years i was like what's up he's like
it's lost 5 000 on black and i was like how you doing he's like i'm fine
uh what's on your face and he just walked away and i was like it's good seeing
you doug
the cooler yeah so so so so so you put 10 000 on black so then akash goes i'll
double it so the
bet's going to be 20 000. so we're doing 10 he's doing 10. so and it's but it's
all cautious money
and it goes to him right if he hits he gets his 10. yeah we split our 10. okay
so but the job got
up from the jump yeah so tell me about the jump well hold on so the bet
originally started how did
these guys not rob the bank yet that's but once we hit like 10 000 so that's
probably gonna be like
it's actually why we came here put the money in a bag kill the producer and
burn the tapes
so we were drunk and we're like you know one roulette one let's do one big roulette
spin so
i don't know if you remember an entourage they like every time they go to vegas
they do one
ten thousand dollar bet to see how the weekend's gonna go we're like dude doing
the entourage bet
i pull out the phone i fire it up we post it everybody's like this is sick wake
up in the morning
find out the entourage bet is five dollars on red that's what they're so i'm
like
we've already committed to ten thousand we're idiots so then we hit it we get
the money we get
the cash out so how did how did how did it work because i know i know that
there's a time where
you double dutch in so you go you you do you have your money and you walk
straight well we're not
here's the thing here's the thing akash screwed us we meet we meet we meet
meeting at the studio
we're going to drive down we're renting a car normally we've been zipping
around and
fucking suburbans and this and that some reason he rents a nissan armada that's
all that's all
they had so that's jinx number one jinx number two he goes this is where i go
name you give me the
this is it gets bad i can't get the stage out then he goes to the bodega that
we usually go to to get
his bernie's his brands marble lights if you must know all they got is parliaments
he shows up with
parliament strike number two then i see the license plate on the armada's california
which the last
time we were in california we got kicked out of an airbnb and ended up costing
us five g's that's
strike number three okay then we go around so out i'm so out i know then we go
around we have to go to
two different banks to get the money we don't have ten thousand dollars in one
bank account i gotta take
it out of the business part out of the business and part out of my so we do a
five and five in midtown
he doesn't he venmos me money it's just like it's such a clusterfuck okay so
all right we've done it
i got the suit on he's got the satin jacket we're looking sharp and you know
how you know how mojo
works you want to you got to keep the foot on the gas out it's a bank job what
are we doing the heat's
on keep cooking the second you're outside listening to the radio i'm out once
you say no i'm out because
this is energy yeah yeah exactly if i say let me tell you the best story you've
ever heard and your
wife comes in and goes hey i got appetizers you don't tell that story no that
story never gets
told to anyone there was something wrong with that story yeah keep going i know
this so then we pick
up akash who jumps in dressed like he just won the world series of poker
expensive uh sweatpants on
real casual whatever so we say we you know joking around we're like let us see
your money you know
we're going to show you art he's like i'm going to get it when we get down
there and at the time we
were like this is a gentleman that's rich guy he does well he lives in a nice
building does he think
he's going to get a marker he thinks he's going to walk up which makes sense i
guess oh he's going to
walk up and go he's got a big time like his unlimited amex card and be like hey
can i have 10 000 like
charge my card for 10 000 and give me 10 000 and chips but as a dirt bag
between you and me in the
back of my head i remember thinking this thing i realized yeah i was like this
might not work out
because i never heard anybody doing that but i also don't know people who go
cash in 20 grand yeah yeah i've never
like i've never i've only gone like give me 600 out of the atm and thousand
dollars the most i've
ever taken out of an atm i think keep going now we had done some research about
filming in there
we called a couple of places we threw a couple of names around everybody was
like you can't
fucking do the week leading up i'm talking to security i'm talking to this they're
going
absolutely fucking not i'm like we're with two big podcasts andrew shot
throwing schultz's name
around like he's going to be there and he'll still be there yeah i'm like he'll
do a
fucking event at the at the bar if you want him to you got to be there next
weekend by the way
yeah yeah you're doing two shows you got to do 20.
so it's real dicey so we dropped uh toby our producer and uh akash producer
shout out to big
kev we dropped them off before we even get there so we just pull up in valet
you go you guys go
we didn't pull it together they got the phones to film us you find out you set
up in the slots
and you still you get a bird's eye view of a couple of pill boxes going right
okay so we felt really
cool at this moment too like this is we're like dropping now when we get in
there no eye contact
they're gonna make us don't let them make us i love it i love it do you guys
enter at the same time
same place same direction i'll come in while we walk into the casino floor slow
music in your heads
the guys are already of course yeah what do you mean tarantino's directing this
i'm ready to go are you
kidding me so akash walks up to the counter immediately shot down most i can
give you is a
thousand we go up to the counter to change our money to chips they were like
you got to do that at the
table we got 10 grand and 20 20s on us takes akash about 45 minutes he's pacing
back and we got to
give on the phone money on the phone with chase dude he's on the phone with
chase and i look over
he's at the cashier handing her the phone i go this is bad this is me we're
standing in the corner
like the boondock saints chain smoking cigarettes like we're ready to knock the
place over uh-huh
this is so bad 45 minutes goes by we end up having to i have to take a thousand
out of my personal a
thousand out of the business his thousand from his producer yes but like which
they need in the bathroom
to 10. so we get akash to five that's all we can get you know akash part of his
head is going oh
this is working out perfect yeah he's going i might save five grand yeah when
we laughed
he didn't tell his wife dude he told his wife his wife goes this isn't even
your podcast like what are
you doing keep going so we walk up we had the table scattered out there was
nobody at the table
everything there's a wide open roulette table we were just going to walk up
throw the cash on because
a lot of times cash can play if you're like i'm just putting it on black cash
can play
let's go now we get there there's an angry roofer with jean shorts and a tape
measure he's literally
at the tape measure on his side like he's on lunch break gambling his page has
about a hundred grand
and dollar chips it's all pink and they're everywhere they're all over the
fucking and
you just said hey can you guys take the next 15 minutes he's not having a good
time he's winning
but he ain't having a good time and we roll not up in life for sure yeah we
roll in like he's like
bud light limes yeah dude he's he's had a tough day we roll up like john favreau
fucking trying to catch his money and the fucking lady that uh that's working
the wheel is training
there's a pit first day she she doesn't know how to count five one dollar bills
let alone fifteen
thousand dollars and on 25 minutes in the middle of this guy's swiping them
they're holding them up to
the light the pit bosses are coming over she can't get them in the the stuffer
gets fooled because it's
the stuffer gets full yeah she's trying to cram them in like like the way i put
my socks in the
drawer yeah and as this is happening we're starting to get a little bit of
crowd of pit boss and
employees now people are coming around on the table yeah they're going i think
there's someone
recording over by yeah and they're going we got mr happy staring at us with the
cattle prod in his hands
fucking ready to throw they go do you guys have a gamer card or anything we're
like no they're like
you're betting 15 000 you don't have a rewards card i should probably sign up
that's a good idea
that's going to take another hour everybody they're going to cover room we're
about to lose 20 grand
what are the rewards playing oh my god at least let me get a hot lunch out of
this
oh by the time this all gets done and she has to do this three times kevin me
guy rolls akash
fucking back and forth because now he's pissed because we're he's jammed up and
he's on a heater
so we're cooling him he's cursing he's pissed he won't look at us he's mumbling
under his breath
he's got our pictures in the freezer oh and you guys are dressed up we're
dressed i have a pbr
satin chalk line jacket on in a gold chain i look like the biggest jerk off so
then get me to the
fucking we're there okay she throws it in spins around what size chips i had
she gave me hundreds
he got five five hundred he got five like a gentleman me and akash got hundreds
he got five
hundreds okay and then you and you stack them steps three big stacks looks like
downtown dallas
i'm telling you we're living we're ready to fucking go i'm feeling good
everybody's around
people from the cafeteria are coming out i get my phone out the guys cleaning
up with
the cards they're stopping and looking here we go about to be real big time on
a monday at noon
30 red are you are you kidding me are you kidding me yeah dude i hit the deck
everybody and then
like within two seconds everybody just walked away like it was nothing and we're
sitting we were at
applebee's 15 minutes later sitting at a high top we're in iced teas it was a
dude it's pouring rain
now we come out because you know it's torrential downpour he's got a suit on he's
got to change my
shirts untucked i look like a fat kid at the end of a wedding dude it's all of
that it's all and
you're in atlantic city on monday on a at somebody walks up just shoots the dog
clown gets out of an
uber you drop me up at the wrong hotel yeah yeah so that's kind of the thing
with the patreon is like
because it's like where it's all we're such new money of like we gotta not blow
it but we have to
spend it as we gotta stay true to the character of you know being idiots with
oh i love we're also
dirt balls yeah we're also no don't get me wrong i'm an action jackson when it
comes over let me i
didn't mind by the way uh uh that that might be one of my favorite stories that's
ever been told
on the podcast oh sweet you guys are so funny oh thank you i gotta get you guys
so we're redoing
i'm revamping i'm i'm re i'm saying this wrong we're starting up my show
something's burning again
Thank you.

$10,000 Roulette Spin w/ Bert Kreischer - Are You Garbage Clips

we just did all this because we filmed in another patron goal was it was ten
thousand dollars on
black once we got to a certain goal we're just gonna go drive down to ac put
ten thousand on
black how did i not grow up with you guys you know this is like where my brain
lives i know so
then akash came on and like we announced it like oh shit this is the new goal
akash goes i'll double
it if you hit it just being a fucking rich motherfucker he goes i'll double it
so we go
fuck okay so it comes around we hit it we're like shit wait so wait start from
the beginning please
so so i i don't i don't even know what a patreon goal is sure the patreon goes
like you said like
once we get to 2 000 patrons we'll do this and since we're garbage it's just so
let's pull up
let's pull up your patreon so everyone can go sure so sign up for your patreon
right now oh thank you
and by the way i want to sign up for it i want to be a part of this okay um so
the next one so it was
like whatever we went once we hit like 3 500 patrons two grand a month by the
way uh yeah
you got it yeah it's two grand a month
special vip just for you um so so so right now scrolls keep i don't um so that's
the newest
yeah all right so you set like a community like they call it community baseballs
or whatever a number
once we get a certain number of patrons we'll do this so the first big one was
like we'll take him
to disney and then you know okay so so the the this one's disney the one before
this was so we've
just we our patrons been growing quickly so we haven't been able to even shoot
them before we're
hitting the next goal the one before this was we take 10 grand we go down at atlantic
city
we walk in we put it on black and we see what happens all based upon we were
drunk one night at
fucking a steakhouse and and we don't really got 10 grand yeah we just started
making money we don't
have 10 grand to lose it hurt that way and so yeah by the way it hurts for
everybody of course i know
so we're clear so it really grand for everyone stings a bit i know of course i
met a dude i saw a dude
that i went to college with doug fattish shout out to doug fattest i had just
gotten my beard shaved
at one of those beard places and i told him to do a goatee and i had a full
beard and instead of
doing a cool goatee he just did a circle around those are the worst dude those
are fucking pervert city and i
ran in i ran into i saw doug fattest right i had this horrible thing on my face
and i'm like
oh i don't want to see him but i was like doug and he was like hey hold on hold
on hold on
and i saw this guy i haven't seen in 10 years i was like what's up he's like
it's lost 5 000 on black and i was like how you doing he's like i'm fine
uh what's on your face and he just walked away and i was like it's good seeing
you doug
the cooler yeah so so so so so you put 10 000 on black so then akash goes i'll
double it so the
bet's going to be 20 000. so we're doing 10 he's doing 10. so and it's but it's
all cautious money
and it goes to him right if he hits he gets his 10. yeah we split our 10. okay
so but the job got
up from the jump yeah so tell me about the jump well hold on so the bet
originally started how did
these guys not rob the bank yet that's but once we hit like 10 000 so that's
probably gonna be like
it's actually why we came here put the money in a bag kill the producer and
burn the tapes
so we were drunk and we're like you know one roulette one let's do one big roulette
spin so
i don't know if you remember an entourage they like every time they go to vegas
they do one
ten thousand dollar bet to see how the weekend's gonna go we're like dude doing
the entourage bet
i pull out the phone i fire it up we post it everybody's like this is sick wake
up in the morning
find out the entourage bet is five dollars on red that's what they're so i'm
like
we've already committed to ten thousand we're idiots so then we hit it we get
the money we get
the cash out so how did how did how did it work because i know i know that
there's a time where
you double dutch in so you go you you do you have your money and you walk
straight well we're not
here's the thing here's the thing akash screwed us we meet we meet we meet
meeting at the studio
we're going to drive down we're renting a car normally we've been zipping
around and
fucking suburbans and this and that some reason he rents a nissan armada that's
all that's all
they had so that's jinx number one jinx number two he goes this is where i go
name you give me the
this is it gets bad i can't get the stage out then he goes to the bodega that
we usually go to to get
his bernie's his brands marble lights if you must know all they got is parliaments
he shows up with
parliament strike number two then i see the license plate on the armada's california
which the last
time we were in california we got kicked out of an airbnb and ended up costing
us five g's that's
strike number three okay then we go around so out i'm so out i know then we go
around we have to go to
two different banks to get the money we don't have ten thousand dollars in one
bank account i gotta take
it out of the business part out of the business and part out of my so we do a
five and five in midtown
he doesn't he venmos me money it's just like it's such a clusterfuck okay so
all right we've done it
i got the suit on he's got the satin jacket we're looking sharp and you know
how you know how mojo
works you want to you got to keep the foot on the gas out it's a bank job what
are we doing the heat's
on keep cooking the second you're outside listening to the radio i'm out once
you say no i'm out because
this is energy yeah yeah exactly if i say let me tell you the best story you've
ever heard and your
wife comes in and goes hey i got appetizers you don't tell that story no that
story never gets
told to anyone there was something wrong with that story yeah keep going i know
this so then we pick
up akash who jumps in dressed like he just won the world series of poker
expensive uh sweatpants on
real casual whatever so we say we you know joking around we're like let us see
your money you know
we're going to show you art he's like i'm going to get it when we get down
there and at the time we
were like this is a gentleman that's rich guy he does well he lives in a nice
building does he think
he's going to get a marker he thinks he's going to walk up which makes sense i
guess oh he's going to
walk up and go he's got a big time like his unlimited amex card and be like hey
can i have 10 000 like
charge my card for 10 000 and give me 10 000 and chips but as a dirt bag
between you and me in the
back of my head i remember thinking this thing i realized yeah i was like this
might not work out
because i never heard anybody doing that but i also don't know people who go
cash in 20 grand yeah yeah i've never
like i've never i've only gone like give me 600 out of the atm and thousand
dollars the most i've
ever taken out of an atm i think keep going now we had done some research about
filming in there
we called a couple of places we threw a couple of names around everybody was
like you can't
fucking do the week leading up i'm talking to security i'm talking to this they're
going
absolutely fucking not i'm like we're with two big podcasts andrew shot
throwing schultz's name
around like he's going to be there and he'll still be there yeah i'm like he'll
do a
fucking event at the at the bar if you want him to you got to be there next
weekend by the way
yeah yeah you're doing two shows you got to do 20.
so it's real dicey so we dropped uh toby our producer and uh akash producer
shout out to big
kev we dropped them off before we even get there so we just pull up in valet
you go you guys go
we didn't pull it together they got the phones to film us you find out you set
up in the slots
and you still you get a bird's eye view of a couple of pill boxes going right
okay so we felt really
cool at this moment too like this is we're like dropping now when we get in
there no eye contact
they're gonna make us don't let them make us i love it i love it do you guys
enter at the same time
same place same direction i'll come in while we walk into the casino floor slow
music in your heads
the guys are already of course yeah what do you mean tarantino's directing this
i'm ready to go are you
kidding me so akash walks up to the counter immediately shot down most i can
give you is a
thousand we go up to the counter to change our money to chips they were like
you got to do that at the
table we got 10 grand and 20 20s on us takes akash about 45 minutes he's pacing
back and we got to
give on the phone money on the phone with chase dude he's on the phone with
chase and i look over
he's at the cashier handing her the phone i go this is bad this is me we're
standing in the corner
like the boondock saints chain smoking cigarettes like we're ready to knock the
place over uh-huh
this is so bad 45 minutes goes by we end up having to i have to take a thousand
out of my personal a
thousand out of the business his thousand from his producer yes but like which
they need in the bathroom
to 10. so we get akash to five that's all we can get you know akash part of his
head is going oh
this is working out perfect yeah he's going i might save five grand yeah when
we laughed
he didn't tell his wife dude he told his wife his wife goes this isn't even
your podcast like what are
you doing keep going so we walk up we had the table scattered out there was
nobody at the table
everything there's a wide open roulette table we were just going to walk up
throw the cash on because
a lot of times cash can play if you're like i'm just putting it on black cash
can play
let's go now we get there there's an angry roofer with jean shorts and a tape
measure he's literally
at the tape measure on his side like he's on lunch break gambling his page has
about a hundred grand
and dollar chips it's all pink and they're everywhere they're all over the
fucking and
you just said hey can you guys take the next 15 minutes he's not having a good
time he's winning
but he ain't having a good time and we roll not up in life for sure yeah we
roll in like he's like
bud light limes yeah dude he's he's had a tough day we roll up like john favreau
fucking trying to catch his money and the fucking lady that uh that's working
the wheel is training
there's a pit first day she she doesn't know how to count five one dollar bills
let alone fifteen
thousand dollars and on 25 minutes in the middle of this guy's swiping them
they're holding them up to
the light the pit bosses are coming over she can't get them in the the stuffer
gets fooled because it's
the stuffer gets full yeah she's trying to cram them in like like the way i put
my socks in the
drawer yeah and as this is happening we're starting to get a little bit of
crowd of pit boss and
employees now people are coming around on the table yeah they're going i think
there's someone
recording over by yeah and they're going we got mr happy staring at us with the
cattle prod in his hands
fucking ready to throw they go do you guys have a gamer card or anything we're
like no they're like
you're betting 15 000 you don't have a rewards card i should probably sign up
that's a good idea
that's going to take another hour everybody they're going to cover room we're
about to lose 20 grand
what are the rewards playing oh my god at least let me get a hot lunch out of
this
oh by the time this all gets done and she has to do this three times kevin me
guy rolls akash
fucking back and forth because now he's pissed because we're he's jammed up and
he's on a heater
so we're cooling him he's cursing he's pissed he won't look at us he's mumbling
under his breath
he's got our pictures in the freezer oh and you guys are dressed up we're
dressed i have a pbr
satin chalk line jacket on in a gold chain i look like the biggest jerk off so
then get me to the
fucking we're there okay she throws it in spins around what size 