Name: The Life of Kippy w/ Stavros Halkias
Uploaded: 2023-02-17T22:00:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Life of Kippy w/ Stavros Halkias' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Life of Kippy w/ Stavros Halkias' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-17. Transcript available.

it's i mean we just we just did an episode yesterday or whatever on the patreon
where
we talked up just about like our upbringings and of like i'm like why are you
exactly is this wildly
like passionate emotional crazy person yeah and it's just i'm like how did you
end up like that
and like we're like polar opposites and i'm like i'm like this realist like
yeah yeah you know what
i mean and he's just like he romanticizes everything like i'm going to move
down to
wilmington yeah north carolina and that's how you're gonna make it right right
right what are you
doing that yeah well people believe clearly your family believed in you they
did when they should
not have or or they should have got to they should have steered you in the they
should have taken that
belief and made it like and here's what you should do you'll go to acting class
you'll do this you'll
do that a little bit of direction yeah a little direction whereas it sounds
like no one believed
in you what do we do yeah yeah yeah yeah you're like i want to be a comedian
like what are you
i hit it like i was in the closet for two years okay but can we go back to
comedy
yeah no my family's like just wildly blue car it's like right you know it's
like angela's ashes it's
like my mom's one of nine oh irish catholic god damn grand the patriarch of the
family was a philly cop
cop oh it's all like my family's cop fire fighters oatmeal philly cop in the 60s
in the yeah in the 50s
what kind of hate crimes you think he got all right hey hey he just passed he
was a great man all
right sweep that tape i wonder what he was doing during the civil rights riots
he was marching hand in hand come on guys these guys got real good points
why you just listen to what they have to say guys uh yeah man um philly's yeah
philly's a very
different spot so it's like they're all like i go home and like dude i'm just
like the liberal
pussy from new york of course of course i'll just like i'll be like walking and
we'll be at a family
party i'll be walking to the bathroom like yeah that fucking pussy in new york
i'm like what the
fuck man like i have to defend all everybody on the left that's ever done of
course of course i'm
the spokesman yeah yeah yeah uh that like dude like i'll get made i i'll get
made fun of if i
drink starbucks because like we're like a hardcore duncan right like you fairy
you're out there drinking
your mocha yeah it's a black coffee dude i don't know what you want from it
that's awesome yeah probably
eating swish cheese over here so okay that's that that makes a lot of sense
because your your narrative
is the like the one who like escaped type of shit the one you got the one that
was a little different
you know yeah you are the artsy one in the family oh yeah yeah because i talk
about my dick yeah i'm
like i'm a thespian that's art yeah yeah yeah it's why i mean before that i was
working you know for
my family has a construction company and i was doing that and it was just like
fucking you know i was i
dude if i think like i would be 450 pounds i was eating a wawa four times a day
drinking every
fucking night it's all right and like oh it's great dude eating dude just
eating my car just like you
know shoving fucking breakfast sandwiches down you don't gotta tell me when i
was a fucking when i was
a paralegal there was a dunkin donuts right next to my right next to my you
know shitty job and it was
like you hit that you just scarfed those little fucked up tater tots down they're
awesome you get two
well it's like you can tell it's out of control when it's like oh well they
only have five well
i get two i'll share i'll split them with oh i'll get some for my friend or you
know what i mean it's
like and then by the end of it it's like you're ordering two sandwiches and
dude i would do this
move where it's like well i'm not eating the bread off the second one it's just
it's not enough egg it's
one egg you know and then you start with you just get an egg and then it's like
well i'll get a little
sausage and then you just have this monstrous and then you're just eating three
sandwiches and wow you
would do that that's a sweet move oh it's a good move see i like the bread but
i remember
crossing that line when i stepped over that line i think mcdonald's was the
first one it's like
wait i can get a meal and a couple other burgers you know what i mean like it's
not just one for one
no one's checking the bag that's the go-to absolutely if i'm going to dunk
donuts i'm getting
two breakfast sandwiches yeah yeah bags of no i would i that that was the thing
i would convince
myself that i'm just making one heartier sandwich but once you cross the two
sandwich ordered rubicon
it's over you're in the matrix baby yeah but a lot more people do that than you
would think
they don't they don't dude most people i talk to don't just get one meal yeah
overeaters anonymous
you think that's a selection issue fully you think that's the people you talk
to is the issue
you don't have a pure cross-section of uh the american it was a blind study i
was the other guys at the
big and tall store so let me get this straight you tell me you also ordered at
least two sandwiches
i'll take a 5x please uh dude i remember for me i was saying i was working as a
paralegal in philly
after i'd stopped working for uh my family's construction which ended in like a
fist fight
and i'm like i gotta get out of here um but i was either i was they did one of
those like carts
like those breakfast carts like in the street and shout out to them it was when
they used to start
making lunch early for the construction workers because the construction
workers would take their
like lunch break at nine o'clock or whatever so i realized i could get dude i
was sitting i was
eating a foot long of sausage and peppers for breakfast i ordered sausage and
peppers and a
coffee with extra sugar extra cream incredible i just remember eating that and
being like this
is a problem yeah breakfast breakfast is all right because i went in i shared
an office it was like a
tight office with this russian lady and she's like what smells yeah yeah yeah
yeah it was i smelled like a
food truck oh dude that's a that is a wild who's drinking hot dog water it was
bad at 9 a.m you
weren't a food cart guy in baltimore not really because in philly they're
because it's so much more
of like a you know walking around city uh the food carts are everywhere yeah
they're everywhere no we
didn't have we didn't really i mean a little bit downtown but i didn't really
you know i never worked
down and they used to be rock solid up here when i lived up here the first time
the hot dog carts were i
mean he can't even describe it how much better they were yeah now it all sucks
you think it might
be so about you miss your cocaine youth you think the hot dogs are that much
worse now or do you
think maybe he also does this thing where he romanticizes a time of course a
period where like
that's the best thing ever yeah yeah he thinks growing up in the 80s was the
greatest thing ever
i go right i'm not saying it's bad but like you also that's all you know i mean
the food in new
york is slipping we can all agree sure sure sure all the all the good diners
either closed down the diners
are dog here you think they used to be good when i moved here they were solid
they were good when we
first you've been here what 10 years or so eight years i mean what but i will
say when i first moved
here it was already the beginning of the doubt yeah yeah where i was like i
went i would just go to a
random one being like new york diner and i was like this sucks it's kind of
sucks there was like
only a couple good ones and you know they start what happened somebody told me
they started jacking up
the rent so they had to start using uh cheaper cheaper and yeah it costs more
yeah it's a bummer
yeah because the good the now the best diners it's like it's not in new york
city it's like long
island it's like jerseys there's a couple like deep in queens that are probably
really good like
that jackson hole and stuff like that that's not bad yep and even in the story
we don't i mean they're
not they're not really good you think you know what you think we have to close
down is the mini star
mini star was not that good you didn't think so i love that place i'm sorry man
it was it was mid yeah
i went there hoping like oh this is good the diner in the neighborhood dog it's
tough all right well
thanks for having me yeah well they've been they've been uh reopening for god
knows how long i feel like
it's some kind of mob front or something you always see the ones in manhattan
always go from it's a diner
right this is the the progression of them closing it's a diner and then they go
we can't be a
diner we have to sell better like we have to get to take out a loan redo the
joint so they redo it
they make it a little sleek they limit the menu a little bit and then a year
later they're not
comfortable yeah they're out of business they get weird up seats give me the up
booth yeah give me
that coffee yeah give me some eggs let me post up yeah have a trash trash a
bunch of other comics yeah
yeah yeah oh my god that's what i do miss the most is the trash them trash
after after a nice
burger sessions yeah yeah yeah one of the worst parts of success is being like
hey good for that
guy now you know what i mean i don't give a fuck yeah because you're not
emotionally invested
anymore yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah when it was when you thought it was either you
or another guy
yeah yeah that cocksucker got conan he sucks you know and meanwhile he's not he
still has to work
his temp job no late night ever does a thousand dollars yeah got 40 twitter
followers i'll make
with the gravy fries yeah what was before elders how are we doing on time what
are we are we almost
ready for we're at 45 right now okay we like to do we like to go into the
questions but i do want to
know before we do that i do want to i do want to ask you what the fist fight
was about and who you
fought at the family construction company uh if you want to get into it sure uh
it was my brother okay
dude we were like real dirt bag philly irish trash yeah i you know i grew up in
a uh
violence is like sure fine yeah it's like looking back i realize how bad that
is of course of course
like we would get in fights and then like we would like talk to our yeah like
at thanksgiving but tell
the water when you beat the guy up at the golf club or whatever you know what i
mean like that kind of
shit right so it was like celebrating right because if it was fun then it's
like the fact that you know
your grandfather would beat everyone is is also funny yeah you know what i mean
yeah yeah of course
yeah so it was just very like i mean same thing like with his our brothers are
like we're the same
up idiots and our brothers are the responsible go-getters um and it was just
like you know i was working
and partying with my brother all so like we'd work all day and then you'd go
out drinking we had the
same circle of friends and it was just like uh you know business wasn't great
at the time which just
like you know stresses the thing and we were just out at a bar and it was kind
of like a you like
i think we were beefing at work that day and then that rolled over into like
happy hours
you were hanging drywall poorly uh what was going on yeah i think it was money
money was super tight
or whatever and it was just like a fuck you fuck sure obama took some of the
blame
so yeah it was just like we were at the irish pub in like on like walnut street
or whatever
and it's just like it was in the hallway and it was just and i was like that's
it i'm
fucking i quit or whatever uh that wasn't the last one there's a couple more of
course sure
a couple of dust-ups after that as well but it's all good it was just like but
like my whole family
doesn't talk because of business right so like i don't i don't talk to my dad i
haven't talked to
my dad in like eight ten years something like that because of the business yeah
just well i mean it's
not that it's that's how they are yeah that's the vehicle that's yeah yeah yeah
yeah it's everything
out it's who you are fundamentally as people sure and the abusive sure and the
drinking and the fist
fights yeah yeah i think that'll do it you know we're in relationships
dysfunction isn't good no um
so uh i remember my mom was like listen you guys can work together but like it's
not ruining the
family right right right so we met me and my brother like we were responsible
enough to be like hey
if it gets there like should have been like it's going to get there in 18
months yeah yeah yeah
i got there and we you know i walked away it was it was like more his thing
anyway so sure i left and
then i came to new york and that's you were paralegal i left his job i got a
paralegal job in philly
uh and then i walked in i had that moment where i walked into my boss's office
like hey man i'm
moving to new york i'd come up here and done one produce show with tom cassidy
that the whole audience
was my three friends yeah and i was like that's it baby i got the bug i'm
coming back hilarious and i
walked in i marched in i'm like i quit i'm moving to new york he's like you
have a job i go no because we
have a new york office oh wow so if you transfer me up to the new york office i
got on my feet i mean
they paid it was like eleven dollars hilarious yeah i was so poor i remember i
was working at a at a paint
store and and they're here in in baltimore but it was it was a shirt williams
and they uh they had
like they could transfer you but it's like you know i was making um i made i
was supposed to make ten
dollars an hour i made eleven dollars an hour because somebody just didn't fill
the form out
and i was like i put 11 and no one checked it it's a fucking paint store so i
was like sick i made 11
an hour in baltimore kids a go-getter i'm moving to i'm moving i was a horrible
employee and i moved
here and i went to my first day and they're like all right just start putting
some paint away i was like
all right it whatever um and then they're like oh by the way like and and in my
mind it's like there's a
cost of living adjustment there's something this is before when i moved here uh
uh minimum wage was
not fifteen dollars an hour than it is now and so the sure williams wanted me
to work there for ten
dollars a dollar an hour less than i did in baltimore where my rent was two
hundred dollars a month
you know and i was like now it's like 750 or something yeah i'm like they give
you money to
relocate and stuff like that yeah they put me in corporate housing for six
months
months that was the jet yeah that was the child care yeah uh but yeah anyway uh
that's uh you know
well that's we we've only scratched the surface thanks to foley's hysterical
hysterical one-man show
no no i love it i love it that's great that's great uh we'll we'll get more
next time we'll get more
into kevin's neuroses but we have completely normal and well adjusted i don't
know what you're talking about
you guys are like i'm chilling that's what looking in your eyes tells me

The Life of Kippy w/ Stavros Halkias

it's i mean we just we just did an episode yesterday or whatever on the patreon
where
we talked up just about like our upbringings and of like i'm like why are you
exactly is this wildly
like passionate emotional crazy person yeah and it's just i'm like how did you
end up like that
and like we're like polar opposites and i'm like i'm like this realist like
yeah yeah you know what
i mean and he's just like he romanticizes everything like i'm going to move
down to
wilmington yeah north carolina and that's how you're gonna make it right right
right what are you
doing that yeah well people believe clearly your family believed in you they
did when they should
not have or or they should have got to they should have steered you in the they
should have taken that
belief and made it like and here's what you should do you'll go to acting class
you'll do this you'll
do that a little bit of direction yeah a little direction whereas it sounds
like no one believed
in you what do we do yeah yeah yeah yeah you're like i want to be a comedian
like what are you
i hit it like i was in the closet for two years okay but can we go back to
comedy
yeah no my family's like just wildly blue car it's like right you know it's
like angela's ashes it's
like my mom's one of nine oh irish catholic god damn grand the patriarch of the
family was a philly cop
cop oh it's all like my family's cop fire fighters oatmeal philly cop in the 60s
in the yeah in the 50s
what kind of hate crimes you think he got all right hey hey he just passed he
was a great man all
right sweep that tape i wonder what he was doing during the civil rights riots
he was marching hand in hand come on guys these guys got real good points
why you just listen to what they have to say guys uh yeah man um philly's yeah
philly's a very
different spot so it's like they're all like i go home and like dude i'm just
like the liberal
pussy from new york of course of course i'll just like i'll be like walking and
we'll be at a family
party i'll be walking to the bathroom like yeah that fucking pussy in new york
i'm like what the
fuck man like i have to defend all everybody on the left that's ever done of
course of course i'm
the spokesman yeah yeah yeah uh that like dude like i'll get made i i'll get
made fun of if i
drink starbucks because like we're like a hardcore duncan right like you fairy
you're out there drinking
your mocha yeah it's a black coffee dude i don't know what you want from it
that's awesome yeah probably
eating swish cheese over here so okay that's that that makes a lot of sense
because your your narrative
is the like the one who like escaped type of shit the one you got the one that
was a little different
you know yeah you are the artsy one in the family oh yeah yeah because i talk
about my dick yeah i'm
like i'm a thespian that's art yeah yeah yeah it's why i mean before that i was
working you know for
my family has a construction company and i was doing that and it was just like
fucking you know i was i
dude if i think like i would be 450 pounds i was eating a wawa four times a day
drinking every
fucking night it's all right and like oh it's great dude eating dude just
eating my car just like you
know shoving fucking breakfast sandwiches down you don't gotta tell me when i
was a fucking when i was
a paralegal there was a dunkin donuts right next to my right next to my you
know shitty job and it was
like you hit that you just scarfed those little fucked up tater tots down they're
awesome you get two
well it's like you can tell it's out of control when it's like oh well they
only have five well
i get two i'll share i'll split them with oh i'll get some for my friend or you
know what i mean it's
like and then by the end of it it's like you're ordering two sandwiches and
dude i would do this
move where it's like well i'm not eating the bread off the second one it's just
it's not enough egg it's
one egg you know and then you start with you just get an egg and then it's like
well i'll get a little
sausage and then you just have this monstrous and then you're just eating three
sandwiches and wow you
would do that that's a sweet move oh it's a good move see i like the bread but
i remember
crossing that line when i stepped over that line i think mcdonald's was the
first one it's like
wait i can get a meal and a couple other burgers you know what i mean like it's
not just one for one
no one's checking the bag that's the go-to absolutely if i'm going to dunk
donuts i'm getting
two breakfast sandwiches yeah yeah bags of no i would i that that was the thing
i would convince
myself that i'm just making one heartier sandwich but once you cross the two
sandwich ordered rubicon
it's over you're in the matrix baby yeah but a lot more people do that than you
would think
they don't they don't dude most people i talk to don't just get one meal yeah
overeaters anonymous
you think that's a selection issue fully you think that's the people you talk
to is the issue
you don't have a pure cross-section of uh the american it was a blind study i
was the other guys at the
big and tall store so let me get this straight you tell me you also ordered at
least two sandwiches
i'll take a 5x please uh dude i remember for me i was saying i was working as a
paralegal in philly
after i'd stopped working for uh my family's construction which ended in like a
fist fight
and i'm like i gotta get out of here um but i was either i was they did one of
those like carts
like those breakfast carts like in the street and shout out to them it was when
they used to start
making lunch early for the construction workers because the construction
workers would take their
like lunch break at nine o'clock or whatever so i realized i could get dude i
was sitting i was
eating a foot long of sausage and peppers for breakfast i ordered sausage and
peppers and a
coffee with extra sugar extra cream incredible i just remember eating that and
being like this
is a problem yeah breakfast breakfast is all right because i went in i shared
an office it was like a
tight office with this russian lady and she's like what smells yeah yeah yeah
yeah it was i smelled like a
food truck oh dude that's a that is a wild who's drinking hot dog water it was
bad at 9 a.m you
weren't a food cart guy in baltimore not really because in philly they're
because it's so much more
of like a you know walking around city uh the food carts are everywhere yeah
they're everywhere no we
didn't have we didn't really i mean a little bit downtown but i didn't really
you know i never worked
down and they used to be rock solid up here when i lived up here the first time
the hot dog carts were i
mean he can't even describe it how much better they were yeah now it all sucks
you think it might
be so about you miss your cocaine youth you think the hot dogs are that much
worse now or do you
think maybe he also does this thing where he romanticizes a time of course a
period where like
that's the best thing ever yeah yeah he thinks growing up in the 80s was the
greatest thing ever
i go right i'm not saying it's bad but like you also that's all you know i mean
the food in new
york is slipping we can all agree sure sure sure all the all the good diners
either closed down the diners
are dog here you think they used to be good when i moved here they were solid
they were good when we
first you've been here what 10 years or so eight years i mean what but i will
say when i first moved
here it was already the beginning of the doubt yeah yeah where i was like i
went i would just go to a
random one being like new york diner and i was like this sucks it's kind of
sucks there was like
only a couple good ones and you know they start what happened somebody told me
they started jacking up
the rent so they had to start using uh cheaper cheaper and yeah it costs more
yeah it's a bummer
yeah because the good the now the best diners it's like it's not in new york
city it's like long
island it's like jerseys there's a couple like deep in queens that are probably
really good like
that jackson hole and stuff like that that's not bad yep and even in the story
we don't i mean they're
not they're not really good you think you know what you think we have to close
down is the mini star
mini star was not that good you didn't think so i love that place i'm sorry man
it was it was mid yeah
i went there hoping like oh this is good the diner in the neighborhood dog it's
tough all right well
thanks for having me yeah well they've been they've been uh reopening for god
knows how long i feel like
it's some kind of mob front or something you always see the ones in manhattan
always go from it's a diner
right this is the the progression of them closing it's a diner and then they go
we can't be a
diner we have to sell better like we have to get to take out a loan redo the
joint so they redo it
they make it a little sleek they limit the menu a little bit and then a year
later they're not
comfortable yeah they're out of business they get weird up seats give me the up
booth yeah give me
that coffee yeah give me some eggs let me post up yeah have a trash trash a
bunch of other comics yeah
yeah yeah oh my god that's what i do miss the most is the trash them trash
after after a nice
burger sessions yeah yeah yeah one of the worst parts of success is being like
hey good for that
guy now you know what i mean i don't give a fuck yeah because you're not
emotionally invested
anymore yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah when it was when you thought it was either you
or another guy
yeah yeah that cocksucker got conan he sucks you know and meanwhile he's not he
still has to work
his temp job no late night ever does a thousand dollars yeah got 40 twitter
followers i'll make
with the gravy fries yeah what was before elders how are we doing on time what
are we are we almost
ready for we're at 45 right now okay we like to do we like to go into the
questions but i do want to
know before we do that i do want to i do want to ask you what the fist fight
was about and who you
fought at the family construction company uh if you want to get into it sure uh
it was my brother okay
dude we were like real dirt bag philly irish trash yeah i you know i grew up in
a uh
violence is like sure fine yeah it's like looking back i realize how bad that
is of course of course
like we would get in fights and then like we would like talk to our yeah like
at thanksgiving but tell
the water when you beat the guy up at the golf club or whatever you know what i
mean like that kind of
shit right so it was like celebrating right because if it was fun then it's
like the fact that you know
your grandfather would beat everyone is is also funny yeah you know what i mean
yeah yeah of course
yeah so it was just very like i mean same thing like with his our brothers are
like we're the same
up idiots and our brothers are the responsible go-getters um and it was just
like you know i was working
and partying with my brother all so like we'd work all day and then you'd go
out drinking we had the
same circle of friends and it was just like uh you know business wasn't great
at the time which just
like you know stresses the thing and we were just out at a bar and it was kind
of like a you like
i think we were beefing at work that day and then that rolled over into like
happy hours
you were hanging drywall poorly uh what was going on yeah i think it was money
money was super tight
or whatever and it was just like a fuck you fuck sure obama took some of the
blame
so yeah it was just like we were at the irish pub in like on like walnut street
or whatever
and it's just like it was in the hallway and it was just and i was like that's
it i'm
fucking i quit or whatever uh that wasn't the last one there's a couple more of
course sure
a couple of dust-ups after that as well but it's all good it was just like but
like my whole family
doesn't talk because of business right so like i don't i don't talk to my dad i
haven't talked to
my dad in like eight te