Name: How a Bronx Tale was Made w/ Chaz Palminteri
Uploaded: 2023-03-10T22:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How a Bronx Tale was Made w/ Chaz Palminteri' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How a Bronx Tale was Made w/ Chaz Palminteri' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-10. Transcript available.

Are you garbage?
I had always thought, and that's why, you know,
your upbringing is well-documented, like we said,
so I'm curious about the years right before Bronxdale
because I had thought just, you know, naturally when I was younger
that it was like you came up with, like, De Niro and Pesci
and all those guys.
Well, I studied. I was 10 years younger than them.
Right.
Okay, so they're older than I am.
When I was at the actor's studio, I'll forget,
Al and those guys were 10 years, they were ahead of me.
So I was always behind them, you know,
but I started in films 30-something years ago,
so I made a lot of movies with Al, with Bob.
I made four movies with Bob, so people do put us together.
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I was 10 years, I'm 10 years younger than those guys.
And you were like a proper, like, struggling working actor
before Bronxdale.
Yeah, I had a Broadway credits before that,
but I, you know, that doesn't mean anything
when you go to Hollywood.
Don't give a fuck about that.
You know, you got to have, you got to be a star.
You got to be somebody.
Right.
You know, that's the way it was.
Sorry.
That's okay.
That's crazy.
So that was the whole thing that I want to focus on.
So you were in New York City as, like, a working actor.
Oh, yeah.
I was, well...
You were a little bit older.
I was older, yeah.
I mean, I didn't make it until I was, well, I was 39 when I made it, you know.
When Bronxdale hit.
When Bronxdale hit, yeah.
And you did that on your own, right?
Yeah.
I mean, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll try to make the story.
Make it long.
Yeah, that's what we want to hear.
I was working as an actor going on...
But then I also worked as a doorman at a club, 1982, called The Limelight.
Right.
If you guys are too young for that.
I think you might have worked with somebody that my brother knows.
A friend of our family.
A guy named Phil Frack.
Phil Fracazzini.
Do you remember a guy named Phil Fracazzini?
That name sounds familiar.
Okay.
We're cutting that.
That's him being nice.
Yeah, he knows Bobby, right?
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, oh, Phil, Phil, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Fucking 19 calls I got.
Make sure you mention Phil Frack.
Go Phil Frack.
You told Phil I said hi.
Yeah.
You told Phil I said hi.
I went to a restaurant once.
This guy goes, Chaz.
Throws his fucking arms around.
Right?
And my wife is standing right there.
He goes, and the first thing he says, he goes, how's your mom and dad?
So that threw me.
I said, oh, shit.
He must be a family.
Somebody, yeah.
Right?
Somebody says that.
I go, no, they're great.
And he's talking to me.
He goes, I go, yeah, this is my wife.
Oh, how are you?
He goes, and he turns to the people at the table.
He goes, we grew up together, me and this guy, right?
Me and this guy were like best friends, right?
And I saw he goes, he goes, you know, my cousin, he sold that Corvette he kept
for years.
I went, really?
How much you get for him?
So he tells me.
Did you get the Kelly Blue Book on that thing?
He tells me.
I go, whoa, whoa, he finally made.
I'm talking about his cousin.
I don't know who the fuck this guy is.
I walk away.
My wife goes, who is that?
I go, honey, I have no idea.
We're going away next weekend with him.
Pack the bags.
But you're right.
You know, you just be nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
I thought that was going to be guaranteed from how much pushback I got from my
family.
But I'm telling you, he knows him.
He knows him.
He knows him.
Don't make me look bad.
Say I know him.
I mean, you know what it is?
It's 35, 40.
Of course.
Of course.
Yeah, you know, people go, Chaz.
You know, I get people to come over to me.
You do a Broadway show.
You walk out.
You sign autographs, right?
I come out, and the guy goes, Chaz.
Chaz.
I go, yeah.
He goes, why?
You don't remember me?
I go, I'm sorry.
He goes, brother, Derek, it's class, eighth grade.
Like, excuse me.
Yeah, like it was yesterday.
If you're 100 pounds more, no fucking hair.
Yeah, you're not little Timmy anymore, okay?
Exactly.
No, anyway, okay, I go on these rants.
No, we love it.
But it's also, I just thought, like, everybody, once you get famous, everybody
goes, I know
Chaz.
Of course.
You're not going, I know Timmy from St. Bobby's or whatever.
You know what I mean?
Like, everybody remembers you.
You don't fucking remember everybody else.
Chaz, it's me.
Oh, my God, Timmy, look at you.
Timmy, look at you.
You still fucking driving a bus?
No, so I was in New York working as a doorman bodyguard for this guy.
Peter Gashen, who owned the limelight.
Because I used to box.
You know, my father was a professional trainer.
Were you a big guy?
Bigger guy?
Or just.
Yeah, no, I was.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah, how I am.
What?
You want to get slapped around?
No, he just didn't like it.
Chaz, I apologize for my co-host.
Don't make him put the suit on, dude.
Yeah.
Hey, straighten this guy out.
Fucking 6'2, tall drink of water.
What do you mean?
Yeah, you know, you just met me.
You're not my fucking friend yet.
Take it easy.
If he starts smacking you around, I'll be loving it.
So anyway, no, so I was working about his bodyguard.
You know, guys, you know, box and whatever.
So what happened was, he finally said, hey, you know, I want you to run this
club in Chicago.
And I said, no, I want to go to L.A. and try my luck there.
So I said, you offered me like a lot of money to manage this club, plus I would
bring a car.
I said, no, find me so I could go to L.A. and collect unemployment.
This is how nuts I was.
I went to L.A.
I like it.
As soon as I got there, boom.
I got on Hill Street Blues, a couple of those shows.
I wrote down a couple of those.
Hill Street Blues, Madlach, Dallas.
Right.
A couple of Peter Gunner miniseries.
And I was doing okay.
You know, okay, okay.
Yeah.
But then I ran out of money again, like about two years later.
I was holding that money and I ran out of that.
We all know the deal.
We're going through it right now.
So I said, well, I'll start working as a doorman.
You know, as a doorman.
So I worked at this real swanky club and I was doing well there to supplement
my income.
I was auditioning.
And then one day, I'm at the door.
Now, there's three things you can never do to a bouncer.
Three things you'll never get in the club.
And if you do one of these three things.
Oh, man.
If you do one of these three things.
Put the fingers down.
You're scaring us.
Okay.
Here are the three things, guys.
The first thing is you never say the words, do you know who I am?
Of course.
Yeah.
Of course.
You're done.
You say that to a guy in the door.
Fuck you.
You're not getting it.
What I always say is, yeah, if I knew who you are, you'd be on the fucking list.
You know.
He'd be in there dancing right now.
That's what.
The second thing is you never grab the rope.
Never, like, grab the velvet rope.
That's like a no-no.
And the third thing is you never get in his space.
In the doorman's space.
This guy walks over, grabs the rope, gets in my face and says, do you know who
I am?
He broke all three rules.
So I broke all three ribs.
Because he said, I'm late.
Don't you know.
And I said, I'm sorry, sir.
So then I said something really smart.
He goes, I'm telling you, do you know who I am?
Then I finally said, yes, you're the guy who's not getting into it.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
So he looked at me and said, you'll be fired in 15 minutes.
What?
That's what he said to me.
I'll never forget it.
He made a big ruckus.
People went inside.
They called the boss.
The boss came out and went, Swifty.
And I went, Swifty.
And I heard the name Swifty.
It was Swifty Lazar.
Now, you guys are too young.
Swifty Lazar was the biggest agent in the world.
In entertainment.
In the world.
And me, an actor, just told the biggest agent to go fuck himself.
He looks at me.
15 minutes later, I'm fired.
Nuh-uh.
Fired.
The boy said, I love you, man.
I love you, Charles.
But he goes, that was his party.
You were keeping him out of his own party.
I said, oh, shit.
So I said, look, you've been good to me.
I said to the owner, it's OK.
Don't worry about it.
I got back into my 1972 Honda Civic with the fucking dent in it with the water
leaking.
I got back to my shit apartment.
I sat down there at the edge of my bed.
I saw this little thing that said, the saddest thing in life is wasted talent.
It's a card that my father gave me.
And he's the one who said that, my dad.
I looked at that and I said, you know what?
If they won't give me a fucking part, I'll write one myself.
So I went to a thrifty drugstore on Ventura Boulevard at that time.
I got five tabs of yellow paper.
And I started.
I said, what am I going to write about?
I said, I'll write about the killing that I saw when I was nine.
Because I always thought about it.
I said, and I'll talk about my father and Sonny, the wise guy, and how the
difference influenced me growing up.
So I wrote like five minutes, about five minutes of it.
And that Monday, I got fired on a Saturday.
That Monday, I performed it at my theater workshop.
So I did exactly what you guys do, comedians.
I got up there and I started doing the monologue and acting some of the scenes.
And out of the five minutes, I kept three minutes.
And then I wrote during the week another ten minutes.
Now that ten minutes, the next week, I kept four more minutes.
And I did that for a year.
So at the end of almost a year, I had 90 minutes of shit that worked.
You know when you would shut it.
When you process, right?
So I said, shit, I got this one-man show.
I said, but I never did it all in its entirety yet, like together.
I did 40 minutes, 20 minutes.
And finally, I said, I got to produce this thing.
So I called my friend Peter Gashenho.
And I said, Peter, you always wanted to be in business.
I said, could you send me some, would you like to invest in a play?
I go, it's not a movie.
I know you want to be in movies, but this is a play.
He goes, let me think about it.
I said, okay.
Next day, knock on my door.
I opened the fucking door.
This guy's standing there.
He goes, you chasp on it?
I go, yeah, sign here.
I sign here.
He gives me a FedEx.
And I open it up, and there's like $40,000.
Damn.
In cash or a chash?
No, no, no.
Check.
Okay.
I was like, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
$40,000?
All fives and tens.
So I got it.
It was a check for like 40 Gs.
So I called him up.
I said, Peter.
I said, you didn't even read it.
You didn't even know what it was.
He goes, you know, I saw you in a couple of plays.
I believe in you.
You got talent.
That's awesome.
Imagine that.
It's amazing.
I get the $40,000.
So I produced the play myself.
I put it up.
Bam!
My fucking career just fucking exploded.
There was a guy, they were talking about it so much, a guy from the L.A. Times
went to
see it, and he just raved about it.
You know, it's one of those reviews your mother would write.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Incredible, genius, whatever, whatever.
You know, he said these incredible things.
Never been done before.
It is a one-man show.
But see, I did a linear story.
I just didn't drink water and didn't do an act.
I did a movie on stage by myself.
And so everybody was coming to see it.
Nicholson came, Pacino came, every director came, every producer came.
Are you shitting your pants at that point?
When they're like, De Niro's out there?
No, no, well, he wasn't there yet.
60-seat theater.
We had to move to a 300-seat theater with so many people.
Still, I was selling out.
They offered me.
I get a phone call at my house, in my dumpy apartment.
$250,000 from the first studio that I called.
I got $200 in the bank.
Not in cash.
Not in cash.
$250,000.
So I said, well, yeah, but I want to play Sonny, and I want to write the screenplay.
They said, look, guy, you're great.
You're terrific.
Let the professionals take over for me.
It's like Heisman.
You know what I mean?
And so we want a number one guy to write the screenplay.
We just want to buy your story.
I said, no, it's my fucking life.
I say, no.
Three weeks later, $500,000.
They call back.
I would have to.
Oh, God.
I got $200 in the bank.
No money.
$500,000.
Place selling out, but the money that I'm getting, I'm paying Peter back, and I'm
paying my people there, right?
I'm making no money.
Finally, I signed with William Morris at the time, and I signed with them.
Great agency.
Fantastic agency, as a matter of fact.
Shout out.
Love you, fellas.
Shout out to William Morris.
Let me tell you something about William Morris.
I'll tell you, ICM, CAA, and William Morris were all after me, chasing me.
A week before Bronx Tale, I wasn't allowed on the block.
Okay?
Now they're all chasing me.
So finally, I call up William Morris, and I say, look, I said, I can't, this is
before, while this is going on, I call him up.
I said, look, I can't make the meeting today.
I have to, this is a side story.
They say, why can't you make it?
What happened?
You signing with somebody else?
I said, no, no, no.
My car is overheating because I had a hole in the radiator, and it would slowly
overheat.
72 Honda?
72 Honda.
It's working.
It's like the Hollywood story.
It's working comic shit.
Exactly.
So they go, stay right there.
Don't move.
We'll get right back to you.
I'm like, what the fuck was that?
Lee Cohen, I'll tell you my age.
Lee Cohen, Fred Westheimer.
Fucking great guys, man.
They fucking, I get a knock on the door.
I open the door.
Guy goes, you charge power.
I go, yeah.
You got another 40K?
What's going on?
I'm excited, right?
Every time I see these guys, something happens.
He goes, come with me.
I go, where are you going?
He goes, come with me.
I go downstairs.
I go into the fucking parking lot.
Now, you remember, you know, I'm with all broke actors, comics, everything is
right.
He goes, I look and I see a 1989 brand new Cadillac Eldorado.
Black, black saddle interior.
Gorgeous.
He goes, here's your keys.
William Mars got this for you.
Don't be late for the meeting.
Damn.
New Caddy.
Holy shit.
Are you fucking, I'm like, what?
What, what?
And now my car's right next to the Cadillac smoking.
So, listen to this.
So, this girl comes over to me smoking.
This girl comes over to me.
She goes, Chaz, holy shit.
Everybody's coming out.
I said, no, I just got this car.
So, she goes, Chaz, I need a car.
She goes, can I have this one?
I said, well, yeah.
She goes, how much you want for it?
I said, how much you got?

How a Bronx Tale was Made w/ Chaz Palminteri

Are you garbage?
I had always thought, and that's why, you know,
your upbringing is well-documented, like we said,
so I'm curious about the years right before Bronxdale
because I had thought just, you know, naturally when I was younger
that it was like you came up with, like, De Niro and Pesci
and all those guys.
Well, I studied. I was 10 years younger than them.
Right.
Okay, so they're older than I am.
When I was at the actor's studio, I'll forget,
Al and those guys were 10 years, they were ahead of me.
So I was always behind them, you know,
but I started in films 30-something years ago,
so I made a lot of movies with Al, with Bob.
I made four movies with Bob, so people do put us together.
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I was 10 years, I'm 10 years younger than those guys.
And you were like a proper, like, struggling working actor
before Bronxdale.
Yeah, I had a Broadway credits before that,
but I, you know, that doesn't mean anything
when you go to Hollywood.
Don't give a fuck about that.
You know, you got to have, you got to be a star.
You got to be somebody.
Right.
You know, that's the way it was.
Sorry.
That's okay.
That's crazy.
So that was the whole thing that I want to focus on.
So you were in New York City as, like, a working actor.
Oh, yeah.
I was, well...
You were a little bit older.
I was older, yeah.
I mean, I didn't make it until I was, well, I was 39 when I made it, you know.
When Bronxdale hit.
When Bronxdale hit, yeah.
And you did that on your own, right?
Yeah.
I mean, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, I'll try to make the story.
Make it long.
Yeah, that's what we want to hear.
I was working as an actor going on...
But then I also worked as a doorman at a club, 1982, called The Limelight.
Right.
If you guys are too young for that.
I think you might have worked with somebody that my brother knows.
A friend of our family.
A guy named Phil Frack.
Phil Fracazzini.
Do you remember a guy named Phil Fracazzini?
That name sounds familiar.
Okay.
We're cutting that.
That's him being nice.
Yeah, he knows Bobby, right?
Get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, oh, Phil, Phil, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Fucking 19 calls I got.
Make sure you mention Phil Frack.
Go Phil Frack.
You told Phil I said hi.
Yeah.
You told Phil I said hi.
I went to a restaurant once.
This guy goes, Chaz.
Throws his fucking arms around.
Right?
And my wife is standing right there.
He goes, and the first thing he says, he goes, how's your mom and dad?
So that threw me.
I said, oh, shit.
He must be a family.
Somebody, yeah.
Right?
Somebody says that.
I go, no, they're great.
And he's talking to me.
He goes, I go, yeah, this is my wife.
Oh, how are you?
He goes, and he turns to the people at the table.
He goes, we grew up together, me and this guy, right?
Me and this guy were like best friends, right?
And I saw he goes, he goes, you know, my cousin, he sold that Corvette he kept
for years.
I went, really?
How much you get for him?
So he tells me.
Did you get the Kelly Blue Book on that thing?
He tells me.
I go, whoa, whoa, he finally made.
I'm talking about his cousin.
I don't know who the fuck this guy is.
I walk away.
My wife goes, who is that?
I go, honey, I have no idea.
We're going away next weekend with him.
Pack the bags.
But you're right.
You know, you just be nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
I thought that was going to be guaranteed from how much pushback I got from my
family.
But I'm telling you, he knows him.
He knows him.
He knows him.
Don't make me look bad.
Say I know him.
I mean, you know what it is?
It's 35, 40.
Of course.
Of course.
Yeah, you know, people go, Chaz.
You know, I get people to come over to me.
You do a Broadway show.
You walk out.
You sign autographs, right?
I come out, and the guy goes, Chaz.
Chaz.
I go, yeah.
He goes, why?
You don't remember me?
I go, I'm sorry.
He goes, brother, Derek, it's class, eighth grade.
Like, excuse me.
Yeah, like it was yesterday.
If you're 100 pounds more, no fucking hair.
Yeah, you're not little Timmy anymore, okay?
Exactly.
No, anyway, okay, I go on these rants.
No, we love it.
But it's also, I just thought, like, everybody, once you get famous, everybody
goes, I know
Chaz.
Of course.
You're not going, I know Timmy from St. Bobby's or whatever.
You know what I mean?
Like, everybody remembers you.
You don't fucking remember everybody else.
Chaz, it's me.
Oh, my God, Timmy, look at you.
Timmy, look at you.
You still fucking driving a bus?
No, so I was in New York working as a doorman bodyguard for this guy.
Peter Gashen, who owned the limelight.
Because I used to box.
You know, my father was a professional trainer.
Were you a big guy?
Bigger guy?
Or just.
Yeah, no, I was.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah, how I am.
What?
You want to get slapped around?
No, he just didn't like it.
Chaz, I apologize for my co-host.
Don't make him put the suit on, dude.
Yeah.
Hey, straighten this guy out.
Fucking 6'2, tall drink of water.
What do you mean?
Yeah, you know, you just met me.
You're not my fucking friend yet.
Take it easy.
If he starts smacking you around, I'll be loving it.
So anyway, no, so I was working about his bodyguard.
You know, guys, you know, box and whatever.
So what happened was, he finally said, hey, you know, I want you to run this
club in Chicago.
And I said, no, I want to go to L.A. and try my luck there.
So I said, you offered me like a lot of money to manage this club, plus I would
bring a car.
I said, no, find me so I could go to L.A. and collect unemployment.
This is how nuts I was.
I went to L.A.
I like it.
As soon as I got there, boom.
I got on Hill Street Blues, a couple of those shows.
I wrote down a couple of those.
Hill Street Blues, Madlach, Dallas.
Right.
A couple of Peter Gunner miniseries.
And I was doing okay.
You know, okay, okay.
Yeah.
But then I ran out of money again, like about two years later.
I was holding that money and I ran out of that.
We all know the deal.
We're going through it right now.
So I said, well, I'll start working as a doorman.
You know, as a doorman.
So I worked at this real swanky club and I was doing well there to supplement
my income.
I was auditioning.
And then one day, I'm at the door.
Now, there's three things you can never do to a bouncer.
Three things you'll never get in the club.
And if you do one of these three things.
Oh, man.
If you do one of these three things.
Put the fingers down.
You're scaring us.
Okay.
Here are the three things, guys.
The first thing is you never say the words, do you know who I am?
Of course.
Yeah.
Of course.
You're done.
You say that to a guy in the door.
Fuck you.
You're not getting it.
What I always say is, yeah, if I knew who you are, you'd be on the fucking list.
You know.
He'd be in there dancing right now.
That's what.
The second thing is you never grab the rope.
Never, like, grab the velvet rope.
That's like a no-no.
And the third thing is you never get in his space.
In the doorman's space.
This guy walks over, grabs the rope, gets in my face and says, do you know who
I am?
He broke all three rules.
So I broke all three ribs.
Because he said, I'm late.
Don't you know.
And I said, I'm sorry, sir.
So then I said something really smart.
He goes, I'm telling you, do you know who I am?
Then I finally said, yes, you're the guy who's not getting into it.
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
So he looked at me and said, you'll be fired in 15 minutes.
What?
That's what he said to me.
I'll never forget it.
He made a big ruckus.
People went inside.
They called the boss.
The boss came out and went, Swifty.
And I went, Swifty.
And I heard the name Swifty.
It was Swifty Lazar.
Now, you guys are too young.
Swifty Lazar was the biggest agent in the world.
In entertainment.
In the world.
And me, an actor, just told the biggest agent to go fuck himself.
He looks at me.
15 minutes later, I'm fired.
Nuh-uh.
Fired.
The boy said, I love you, man.
I love you, Charles.
But he goes, that was his party.
You were keeping him out of his own party.
I said, oh, shit.
So I said, look, you've been good to me.
I said to the owner, it's OK.
Don't worry about it.
I got back into my 1972 Honda Civic with the fucking dent in it with the water
leaking.
I got back to my shit apartment.
I sat down there at the edge of my bed.
I saw this little thing that said, the saddest thing in life is wasted talent.
It's a card that my father gave me.
And he's the one who said that, my dad.
I looked at that and I said, you know what?
If they won't give me a fucking part, I'll write one myself.
So I went to a thrifty drugstore on Ventura Boulevard at that time.
I got five tabs of yellow paper.
And I started.
I said, what am I going to write about?
I said, I'll write about the killing that I saw when I was nine.
Because I always thought about it.
I said, and I'll talk about my father and Sonny, the wise guy, and how the
difference influenced me growing up.
So I wrote like five minutes, about five minutes of it.
And that Monday, I got fired on a Saturday.
That Monday, I performed it at my theater workshop.
So I did exactly what you guys do, comedians.
I got up there and I started doing the monologue and acting some of the scenes.
And out of the five minutes, I kept three minutes.
And then I wrote during the week another ten minutes.
Now that ten minutes, the next week, I kept four more minutes.
And I did that for a year.
So at the end of almost a year, I had 90 minutes of shit that worked.
You know when you would shut it.
When you process, right?
So I said, shit, I got this one-man show.
I said, but I never did it all in its entirety yet, like together.
I did 40 minutes, 20 minutes.
And finally, I said, I got to produce this thing.
So I called my friend Peter Gashenho.
And I said, Peter, you always wanted to be in business.
I said, could you send me some, would you like to invest in a play?
I go, it's not a movie.
I know you want to be in movies, but this is a play.
He goes, let me think about it.
I said, okay.
Next day, knock on my door.
I opened the fucking door.
This guy's standing there.
He goes, you chasp on it?
I go, yeah, sign here.
I sign here.
He gives me a FedEx.
And I open it up, and there's like $40,000.
Damn.
In cash or a chash?
No, no, no.
Check.
Okay.
I was like, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
$40,000?
All fives and tens.
So I got it.
It was a check for like 40 Gs.
So I called him up.
I said, Peter.
I said, you didn't even read it.
You didn't even know what it was.
He goes, you know, I saw you in a couple of plays.
I believe in you.
You got talent.
That's awesome.
Imagine that.
It's amazing.
I get the $40,000.
So I produced the play myself.
I put it up.
Bam!
My fucking career just fucking exploded.
There was a guy, they were talking about it so much, a guy from the L.A. Times
went to
see it, and he just raved about it.
You know, it's one of those reviews your mother would write.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Incredible, genius, whatever, whatever.
You know, he said these incredible things.
Never been done before.
It is a one-man show.
But see, I did a linear story.
I just didn't drink water and didn't do an act.
I did a movie on stage by myself.
And so everybody was coming to see it.
Nicholson came, Pacino came, every director came, every producer came.
Are you shitting your pants at that point?
When they're like, De Niro's out there?
No, no, well, he wasn't there yet.
60-seat theater.
We had to move to a 300-seat theater with so many people.
Still, I was selling out.
They offered me.
I get a phone call at my house, in my dumpy apartment.
$250,000 from the first studio that I called.
I got $200 in the bank.
Not in cash.
Not in cash.
$250,000.
So I said, well, yeah, but I want to play Sonny, and I want to write the screenplay.
They said, look, guy, you're great.
You're terrific.
Let the professionals take over for me.
It's like Heisman.
You know what I mean?
And so we want a number one guy to write the screenplay.
We just want to buy your story.
I said, no, it's my fucking life.
I say, no.
Three weeks later, $500,000.
They c