Name: The Flatbread Pizza Debate w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2023-06-27T21:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Flatbread Pizza Debate w/ Kippy & Foley' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Flatbread Pizza Debate w/ Kippy & Foley' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-27. Transcript available.

Is there a more entree than the flatbread?
That's up there with, like, fresca to me.
I'm not going to sit here and take this flatbread.
Hey, it's revolutionized.
You're taking it the wrong way.
He just called me.
Nah, he's taking it the right way for me.
Yeah, he called me an ant.
I'll let the slander go by you,
but don't act like you almost didn't finish my flatbread
wherever the fuck we just were.
See, that's what I'm talking about.
You got it all wrong, baby.
No.
Relax.
He's got it right.
Yeah.
You two are throwing shade
at one of the greatest things on a menu
ever.
I think it's fantastic.
I'm complimenting you
that I have never been around anybody
in my entire life.
I'm 47 years old.
Nobody I know.
Has innovated on such a level.
Nobody.
You act like I ask if they don't have them.
I'm like, hey, can you whip me up a flatbread back there?
I mean, if they're on the menu
and they ain't got chicken tendies,
I'm going for FB.
Nobody I know ever in my life,
and I'm being dead honest,
nobody in my life
has ever fucked with a flatbread.
I was always curious about it
and never really understood what it was.
I know it's like a pizza,
but there's kind of holes in the bottom.
It's a pizza.
Sure.
Let's stop beating around the bush.
It's an oval pizza, okay?
Right.
Okay.
All right.
The bread's a little different.
Yes.
And it's on like a pub menu.
I think it's innovative,
and I think it's great,
and it's always,
it's like the best show you're not watching.
I never think of it when it comes to ordering,
and then you go,
I'll have-
It's the burn notice of food.
Which was a pretty,
it's,
no,
it's Suits.
Burn notice was all right.
Burn notice was fucking awesome.
Yeah,
characters welcome.
Shout out to USA.
Their program,
their original program was all right.
And Suits was fantastic too.
Great show.
Great show.
Man,
I had hots for her before she went,
fucking joined the Redcoats.
So was the one out in the Hamptons,
the veterinarian that solved crimes
or whatever it was.
You know what I'm talking about?
Monk?
Oh,
no,
Monk.
Monk was good too.
Forget about Monk.
Monk was great.
Monk was great.
I can't remember what it was called.
Kitty cat mysteries?
No.
But I'll tell you what,
you give me 1,500 words,
I'll produce it tomorrow.
I'll tell you that right now.
I got a little starlet at home.
I'm going to be reading for the lead right there.
Never thought to get a flatbread.
And every time you get one,
obviously I don't get them now,
but when you get them like,
oh fuck,
that's a good idea.
It's good.
It's good.
The idea around it,
and this is flawed logic in my head.
Usually not done well.
We can agree on that.
Yeah,
they're usually not great.
But it's also-
They hit the scene hard.
Everybody went nuts for them.
Then you got a lot of fucking bozos out there
trying to make them,
and they suck.
I gotta be honest,
I only,
I think I might have ordered about four
in the past two years.
In my head,
you have them every day.
That's crazy.
Every time we're somewhere,
I get like a chicken salad
or something like that,
this guy goes,
give me a fucking flatbread.
And they come over with a fucking boomer.
He's mad.
He got mad at me.
Where were we?
We were in Dania Beach, Florida.
That the improv in Dania Beach, man.
He was so mad at me, dude.
They make a flatbread pizza
that'll blow your compression socks off.
Holy shit,
that looked good.
He was legit upset
because I was like,
ah,
it wasn't that good.
Or when we got it from next door,
he was like,
ah,
it wasn't that good.
Don't you fucking say that.
That thing looks delicious.
Looked delicious.
Yeah,
meanwhile,
look over,
he's chewing on his knuckles.
You talk about that sweet little angel like that.
I don't get them,
honestly,
ever.
I kind of get them on the road,
I think,
because a lot of times
we're rolling the dice wherever we are.
It's a switch up at,
they're only offered at like bars and pubs.
You know what I mean?
Like places that don't have fantastic menus.
So it's like,
if I don't want to get the,
in my head,
it's a little lighter.
In my head,
it's like two and a half slices of pizza.
If I finish it.
That's a half a pizza.
That's a half a large pizza.
No,
I don't think,
no,
I don't think so.
You've seen these things,
right?
It looks like there's been four,
so you can't like quantify these things.
It looks like the thing you put the paints on
when you're painting.
Yeah,
that's half the size of a regular pizza
and then it's on that,
so it's just even smaller
and I didn't finish the one in Dania Beach.
Always served on like a cutting board
or something like that.
Yeah,
you can't fit half a pizza on a,
half a large pizza on a cutting board.
I have the technical difference
between a flatbread and a pizza.
Excellent.
It's the bread.
There's no leaven in it or something.
I would also like.
It's on matzah probably.
Look at Kippy with the bread.
It's called flatbread.
Sure.
What are we doing here?
Yeastless bread.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all you got?
It's pizza.
It's bad pizza.
Who invented it?
It's got to be like Friday's.
Jimmy flatbread.
It was,
Google's just a picture of me.
Find out you're behind it all along.
Getting high on my own supply.
It has to be like a Applebee's
or a Chili's or something like that.
Well,
it was Persian soldiers in 500 BC,
so you're pretty close.
Really?
I heard they did own
a lot of Applebee's though.
They were the head franchisees.
That was a war technology?
The flatbread?
Yeah,
probably just bread
and then whatever they got on it.
You don't got yeast
but you got fucking
mozzarella and pepperoni?
No,
that's 10 A.
Okay.
They weren't doing all that.
What do you think
they were putting on it?
They're probably just doing
like non-stuff.
Yeah.
Ah,
that's good.
Ooh,
a non-pizza.
That'd be all right.
Okay,
hold on.
We got to cut this
because that's the smartest thing
you've ever said.
Really?
A garlic non-pizza?
A garlic non-pizza
with chicken Marsal on top.
Boom.
Let's go.
That's just what I do
when I go to the Indian joint.
Of course.
What are we talking about?
Of course.
I'll even get crazy
and throw rice on there.
Oh,
yeah.
You think I care?
And also,
they got $3
while I can eat his IPAs.
I walk out of there
cross-eyed.
Shout out to the boys.
Happy hour all day long
in my neighborhood,
daddy-o.
That's good stuff.
In my head,
like I said,
it's lighter than a burger.
It's not,
it's bad,
it's this fat guy logic here
and I'm not saying it
but like if I'm having one
before we go perform,
a burger sits in my,
I'm telling you why I get them.
I'm telling you,
I have no ill will
in this at all.
I respect the move.
I'm explaining.
It doesn't sit in my stomach
as per a burger
and fries
and maybe
potato skins would.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
It's just,
I'm a little more,
it's like,
it's the same mentality
getting a quesadilla.
It's not that much healthier
for you than 10 tacos
but in my head,
it's a little lighter.
That's what I do.
That's why I do it.
Shout out to,
this is brought to you
by Kippy's flatbreads.
I like it.
I wanted to ask you this.
What's that?
Two things.
One,
I heard her the other day
and I haven't heard her
in years.
Are you guys too young
to remember
DJ Delilah?
Bop, bop, bop.