Name: Top Trashy Wedding Songs | Are You Garbage
Uploaded: 2024-11-04T13:15:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top Trashy Wedding Songs | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Top Trashy Wedding Songs | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-04. Transcript available.

All right, this one's from Bingo Bango.
First time, long time, $10 card carry and union member.
Shout out to you.
Is it garbage if my mother picked Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd
for our mother's son dance at my wedding?
Dude, that is some hillbilly trash shit.
Holy shit.
Simple!
How do you even dance to that?
Who's she in the song?
Is she the Simple Man or what?
No, she's my mother.
Wait, wasn't it always like Mother Told Me?
That means the mom knows you're no good.
Mama told me when I was younger.
Yeah.
Hold on, let's see.
Mama told me when I was young, come sit beside me, my only son,
and listen closely to what I say, and if you do this,
it'll help you some sunny day.
You're marrying some tramp.
Run for the hills.
That's crazy.
Oh, take your time.
Don't live too fast.
Troubles come, and they will pass.
This ain't that bad.
You'll find a woman.
Yeah, you'll find love, and don't forget, son,
there's someone up above.
This is Christian rock.
No, that's terrible.
For the mom to pick that, be a simple man, that's no good.
This is a pretty good message.
Forget the lust for the rich man's gold.
All that you need is in your soul, and you can do this, oh baby,
if you try.
All that I want for you as my son is to be satisfied.
Some wedding band butcher in that?
Nah, that's a DJ for sure.
No, that's not a band.
You can't cover Skinner.
What are you, nuts?
Spiking up in the parking lot.
Everybody's all strung out.
That's a real trashy one.
I'm trying to think of anything.
I don't ever remember.
Are you going to have one at your wedding?
What?
Skinner?
A couple of the guys.
I was thinking a little Oreo Speedwagon.
Yeah, we had that all picked out.
We're going to do a mother.
I was cutting a rug down at a place called The Jug with a girl named Linda Lou.
When he walked a man with a girl named Linda Lou.
He was looking for, you know.
Fucking hot for a teacher playing.
Oh, dude.
Yeah, we got that all figured out.
Because it's just our moms.
Just give me three steps.
Give me three steps.
One toke over the line.
Yeah, yeah.
We got something classy for now.
What is that?
You got to let me do something classy.
I want to know what your definition of classy is.
We're going to tell the people.
The Gambler by Kenny Rogers.
No one to vote him.
No one to walk away.
No one to run, huh?
Something by the highwaymen, please.
You got any Merrill Haggard on there?
Let's slow it down a little.
Do a little working man's blues?
Yeah, we got it all figured out.
I think we're doing Through the Years by Kenny Rogers.
Through the Year?
Yeah.
Hold on.
Let me get some eyes on that.
That's a classic hit.
What are you talking about?
By Kenny Rogers?
Uh-huh.
All right.
Let's see.
Through the Years.
Kenny Rogers released 1981 on the album Share Your Love.
Mm-hmm.
Let me see if I can get some.
I also like that song, that Kenny Rogers song.
Wake up!
Now, love will turn.
Love will turn him around, turn you around.
That's a good song.
I don't think I know that one.
It was in, um, it was in, it was an old Kenny Rogers movie that it was in
where he was a race car driver that, like, adopted, like, six kids.
And I think they were-
Just spoke to me.
I think they were on the run from something.
All right.
I can't remember when you weren't there, when I didn't care for anyone but you.
I swear we've been through everything there is.
I can't imagine anything we've missed on those things.
It's a hit.
Can't have the hot deal.
That's a nice song to dance to your mom, too.
I'm leaning Skinner.
Let me dance with Luke to Skinner.
Everybody gather around for the producer, co-host, dance, everybody.
If you think I'm not, I want some sort of-
You keep pushing this.
I need some time, something.
Nothing.
I'll wear the jacket.
I bomb.
Is this mic on?
What's going on here?
Ah, man.
That's a tough look, though.
Simple man.
Man.
The lyrics are sweet, though.
I'll give you that.
People are definitely smoking weed with the adults at that wedding.
I assume, yeah, I assume, I assume that's-
Some uncle's getting too high after too many Chardonnays.
That's probably a little more country of a reception, so that's fine.
Like, everybody around is going to go, oh, that's a great, sweet choice.
I think if you play-
They're all dirt balls.
If you played that at a wedding of mine in Northeast Philly,
everybody would be like, what the fuck?
Is he fucking her?
People got lighters going and shit.
Oh, God.
All right.
That's a home run.
That's pretty good.
That's a home run.