Name: Ralph Barbosa Wants To be The Mexican Jay Leno | Are You Garbage
Uploaded: 2024-11-27T14:00:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ralph Barbosa Wants To be The Mexican Jay Leno | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ralph Barbosa Wants To be The Mexican Jay Leno | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-27. Transcript available.

jesus and now that with the race that i sold that we saw online that's not was
that your first race
or no yeah it was a it was at a track uh out in texas um it wasn't like this
crazy event but
every weekend they do drag racing at that strip did you i'm sorry to cut you
off did you drag
race as a kid nah like any of your boys or anything no i mean i'd take my mom's
car and
try to like race and drift and stuff what kind of what kind of car was your mom
had my mom had an
acura my grandma had a jeep the jeep if i'm not mistaken it was a rear wheel
drive so we used
to be able to like we'd go to an empty parking lot and just start trying to
slide it and drift it and
stuff but it you know they're built kind of boxy so they like almost hop over
yeah yeah yeah it almost
tip over here and there and you bring it back to your grandma's house and it
smells like burnt rubber
she's saying anything to you yeah one time because the the acura was front
wheel drive but it was
faster so we we take that one to this one uh two-lane street with the median in
the middle
and we we just you know floor it and then we try to do like a 180 drift and
then come back
around yeah like that's what they did in fucking too fast to fury go down
around yeah and then come
back yeah yeah yeah play chickens see if you really want one day my mom and my
grandma were just like
this is crazy
what one day my mom and my grandma were like man my tires are like balls and my
grandma's like me too like
what the hell yeah they don't make them like they used to yeah i don't know but
don't snow down there i was
i got a stop buying cheap tires get some pirelli something i can ride with but
i never actually like
you know like race race right sure god dang but now that's something you want
to do it now are you in
there with a regular seat belt or you got like a harness and a helmet and shit
there a cage on that
bro i just put on the seat belt so the beeping would shut up he's sitting on
top of it yeah yeah just
rode in there like that i had a beanie on to provide cushion i can't but my car
my car was it's not like
super it's making like 500 something horses tops like it's not crazy you know
what i mean and you
went around the track uh straight straight away okay yeah did you get dusted or
did you win no i lost i
lost against the guy who built the car he has a race truck that is just like
stupid fast in texas the
most popular racing is like the eighth mile okay so his truck will do like an
eighth of a mile in like
six seconds flat damn jesus yeah the car will do it like an eight eight ish she
get a playstation or
something like that i'm doing some push-ups or something man the kid likes the
action how many
cars do you have now running or all like all together let's go all together
because you're
working on them all together i got maybe about like 10 ish damn what are you
gonna have
in fucking you're gonna be like fucking seinfeld you're gonna be like the mexican
jay leno yeah
that would that would be sick i just gotta grow my chin out a bit
get some get some denim
damn you got 10 cars okay and how many run
um one two three four i think i think four or five like half of them okay the
other half
you know i just go outside in the backyard and i see them out there and i take
a sip of some beer
and i just go yeah yeah sure you don't fix them at all can you fix a car i'm
learning to so i used
to do body work i don't know if i talked about that yeah yeah yeah body work we
do body and paint
you can change an oil though yeah i mean stuff like that was always pretty
simple change out of
a part a starter an alternator whatever but since i got this for me yeah since
i got these other cars
and i wanted to put performance parts on them i met a dude because one of my
favorite cars is uh
is the nissan skyline it's a gtr and i met a dude who's like a gtr enthusiast
okay who does a lot of
content just building cars fixing them and he only buys cars that either they
don't run or they just
suck okay he loves to fix them he's also you know he's he's he doesn't believe
in like buying something
that he didn't like build sure which i i like that so once i started buying
performance parts for my
car i linked up with this dude and asked him to teach me to like put them on so
i've been learning
little by little jeez you got a garage right keep them in yeah i never but you
gotta go they're not
just at the house anymore no they're at they're where i live you have a garage
on the property yeah
i built a house on my dad's land so this is another thing we you were in your
dad's house
or you were in i'm still in my dad's house i'm never gonna leave but you build
a house there as
well yes over this last year you've built a house on your dad's property yeah
so here's the thing
i i built the house on my dad's land and the bottom floor lost it to me
it's mine now chicken fights in the pool now i own all the property oh i built
a house there
and i wanted the bottom floor to just be all garage to fit as many cars as
possible
and the top floor be where we live and once it was finished like i didn't want
to leave
so i also built what could be a body shop right next door to the house
and my uncle who taught me how to paint you are living dirt bag dude it's crazy
nuts my uncle who
taught me how to paint was already looking to move with his family and he has
you know he had
his place where he was living but then he was also renting a shop uh-huh so i
was like how about you
just move into my house i stay at my dad's you live in there with your family
and you have a shop
and my uncle didn't want to do it he's a very proud man he's like no no i'll
find my own thing you know
but i was like man just go even my dad was like this is a fucking deal it's a
deal is the house close
enough where he can get like the like the business traffic or whatever nah
because he mostly just has
his like private customers it isn't like a hey could i come in here get fixed
it's like a pet boys
yeah he's been doing it so long he just has like his client gotcha that's
fucking sweet yeah so we're
it's just we have like a cult yeah you're building a compound yeah how big is
the house with the garage
underneath how many bedrooms is it i don't i don't remember like the square
footage but it's uh
it's three bedrooms um there's like a guest bath so in total there's like three
places you could
shower damn um this is it's that's it's a nice size house and who built it and
like are you like
getting like the blueprints and like yeah i like this i want this i just drew
it out the best that i
could and then like in the i was like i drew like a big walk-in closet and i
wanted a batman style
of course to go down to go down so like like a pole no it's not a pole it's
like a little ladder
and so if you're in the garage it looks like it's a part of the uh like a
little pillar coming out of
the wall like it looks like it's part of the thing but there's a secret door
you can just like go
through there is there a secret door upstairs like is it behind like a bookcase
so okay so before you
start thinking you are blowing cash i fucking love this kid hold on before you
think of this like
really cool bachelor pad uh it's still tech that that stuff is technically not
finished those parts
okay i have a feeling they might never be finished yeah so right now there's
just a hole
in the closet that just goes down and there and the wood is there but it's not
like
covered up so you could see somebody just sneaking down yeah and you have all
the cars like do you
have them like lined up like parked nice yeah and it's a nice is it like heated
down there yeah we
got those uh eight like those i don't know what you call them but there's ac
and heat oh shit and
they're just they're show show pieces i i mean i drive them no but i mean like
they're ready to go
they're sitting there yeah yeah yeah what's what's the day-to-day car the day-to-day
car um it depends
like for a little while i was driving around this uh this this 1998 nesan 240
and those cars it's like
real low to the ground doesn't have much power but it feels like driving around
a go-kart but i never
put insurance or like got it registered so i stopped driving it because i kept
getting pulled over
makes sense and uh but a lot of the police that would pull me over be like hey
man you're funny
they're like get on out of here you wacky crazy kids and those barboses are up
to no good out there
one guy was just like yeah i don't know who you are you're getting tickets sure
do you say to him
hey i'm a comedian nah i just i just like sorry but i'll tell them right when
they pull me over like
sir he's got netflix queued up no i'll just be like sir i'm gonna let you know
right now i got no
insurance no tags like before like not gonna lie to you so you can always just
be like i'm you know
i'm fixing it up i just wanted to take it out for a test drive whatever i tell
them i'm like i don't
um because i live in a small texas town i'm like out in the country so i'm like
i don't go far
i'm like i hope you don't think i was trying to take this far whatever like i'm
just picking up my
kid from school and just do you have like the even like the temporary
registration or you have
there's nothing on it there's my friend's old plates oh so there are plates the
guy i bought it from
yeah okay so at least like visually it looks like the car is registered yeah
nah nah if you look at
this car you're like no damn but it's fun to drive