Name: Foley's Mom is Turning into Livia Soprano | Are You Garbage
Uploaded: 2025-01-08T20:44:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Foley's Mom is Turning into Livia Soprano | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Foley's Mom is Turning into Livia Soprano | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-08. Transcript available.

Let's see here.
This one's from Zach.
$10, homie.
Never had one read.
Are press pennies the most garbage souvenir of all time?
Absolutely.
I loved it, Dave.
Oh, you're kidding me?
Make a necklace out of it.
I remember my first one, Farley's Rest Stop.
It was a nickel.
Farley's Rest Stop on the AC Expressway.
On the way down to Wildwood, New Jersey, it stopped there.
They had the penny machine.
I go, Mom, Mom, and she go, why are you going to pay $2 to ruin a penny or
whatever?
And I said, listen, here you dumb broad.
Give me the cash.
Got me sleeping on a couch in a flop house.
Let me have something.
She's really trying to do a revisionist history of said childhood, too.
Oh, yeah.
She's really going, I don't get it.
And me and my brother.
I never said that.
I never said that.
Like, baby, I got the Old Testament scripture, okay?
You know what Patty said not that long ago?
Can I tell you this?
This is more of a Patreon.
Told me she likes me.
I'll air the business out.
This was going back, was it Thanksgiving?
Somewhere around, somewhere in November, I was home.
Okay.
And she, around like a group of like my cousins, their husbands, like an
audience of people.
Show came up, show's doing good, whatever.
And somehow she started talking about when I was in community college.
And I tell you this.
I think I told you this.
I don't even remember you being in community college.
I feel like I told you this on a hard feelings.
She said that my brother paid for the semester in front of everybody.
She's only two years older than you.
She's like, yeah, Andrew paid for that because we were done paying for him
after Widener.
What?
And I, dude, I was like, that's not true.
She's like, yes, it is.
He paid for it.
He paid for your semester at community college because we wouldn't.
Of course, I fucking called my brother immediately.
Is that the first you were hearing of that?
The first I was hearing of that.
It was made up.
This broad, oh, made up.
Yeah, my brother was like, are you out of your fucking mind?
I was like a clerk.
Yeah, I was going to say, he was fucking two years older than you.
Yeah, so she's not.
I think she's a sweet old lady.
Fucking Lydia Soprano.
Uh-huh.
Babies are like dogs.
Fucking in front of everybody.
I had a fucking plate of brie in front of me, too.
Like a fat ass.
You got soft cheese running out of your mouth.
What?
No, you say that.
Yeah.
Fucking stung me in front of everybody.
That was the year your brother had to pay for community college because we
wouldn't.
I was like, ooh, uh-huh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
I don't know what's in this pretzel dip.
Fucking that bitch.
I love you, Patty.
I remember I was in debt to a lot of institutions at one point.
A lot of institutions.
I ain't talking about Vanguard either.
I ain't talking about fucking Coinbase.
Anyway, you owed a lot of money in institutions.
Whoa, what are you bringing up bullshit for?
Yeah, and my mom was at her wits end with it.
We were fighting, calling me.
I remember being, what?
I'm only 90 days behind.
Like, that was pretty good.
If I was under 90 days behind on bills.
Thank God we got rid of the house phones.
Oh, man.
Everybody can go fuck themselves.
I remember this.
They can't get you.
Dude, they can't get you.
It was one of the earlier.
They can't.
I'm not answering.
I don't know the number.
Leave a message.
I mean, the house phones, they didn't get you either.
You just didn't answer.
They just did.
But it put the screws to you.
It was.
You're nuts.
If they're calling your house, because Patty would get panicked and then start
putting
the screws to me.
That's her fault.
She's panicking.
I know.
You had to treat it like my dad.
The phone would ring, and he'd go, I ain't here.
I go, it was so bad to a point where the phone would ring, and I'd go, are you
here?
And he goes, nope.
I go, is Dan Ryan there?
I go, no.
And I go, all right.
Hang up.
Freddie.
He's got a heater going.
Watch him first down Freddie.
Go birds.
Let's see if they cover.
Yeah.
That was for probably about seven years.
You here?
Nope.
Unless it was someone from the office.
Sure.
Like someone I knew.
Sure.
I'd be like, hey, it's fucking Bill, or like, you know, who have my uncle.
Is your dad there?
Mm-hmm.
I go, hold on.
Is there a Mr. Ryan there?
Let me check.
He might have just left.
Dad.
It's Uncle Bill.
You here?
Like you're living in a state.
Hey, it might be in the North 40.
Let me see.
But I was jammed up bad with cash.
Real bad.
And all the mail was getting, because I was still registered at my mom's house.
So all that mail was getting sent there.
You know what I mean?
All those bills.
I kind of just split from Philly and went up to New York and got off the grid.
No, I had never received any piece of mail to the house I was living in.
That was, yeah, me too.
That was one good thing for those first couple of years up here.
I had no mailing address.
Couldn't get me.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh.
That was it.
I mean, I just recently switched my driver's license.
No mailing address and no bank account.
Except for my Navy Federal account.
But that only had $5 in it since I was a kid.
You not having a bank.
I didn't have a card.
You not having a bank account used to jam us up so bad.
Having to stop by check cashing places, signing checks over to me, signing
checks over to other people.
I stopped banking with you.
I had a do not accept checks from this guy policy.
How foreign is that to you?
Have you ever been to a check cashing place?
No, obviously no.
Oh, you're nuts.
I used to get my check from that telemarketer scam I worked at in South Philly,
walk right over to that fucking check cashing place.
It was right next to the Wawa.
You know that Wawa on Delaware Ave?
Yeah.
There's a check cashing joint right next to that.
Me and the boys, we get our checks from the scam artists and go over there and
cash them real quick.
Take your 12%.
Take your, I got cash now.
What do you mean?
Got direct deposit now.
Yeah.
This guy.
Fucking direct deposit.
Trippin' the lights fantastic on my dad.
I didn't trust that.
It's my set to fucking direct deposit up.
I didn't trust that shit till like a year ago.
I don't know how long it was going to take or when it was going to hit or what
the deal was.
To me, when they would go, we'll set you up on direct deposit, I was like, I
got to get you a bank, a routing.
How do I even find that?
I don't have a checkbook.
I don't trust that.
I got to call the bank and make sure it's the right account.
I don't know my password.
Oh, it's brutal.
Yeah.
That was so far.
I mean, just give me checks.
Let me get a check.
I'm like, no, we don't do it.
We do it this way.
Give me a fucking check.
I'll be back Friday at noon.
Uh-huh.
I'll be back Friday at noon.
I'll be back Friday at noon.
I'll be back Friday at noon.