Name: Frozen Meals for Hippies! | Are You Garbage
Uploaded: 2025-01-31T20:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Frozen Meals for Hippies! | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Frozen Meals for Hippies! | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-31. Transcript available.

I saw a mutual friend of ours had posted, maybe it was a story, of their kid's
lunchbox.
Very nutritious.
A lot of fruits and vegetables.
None of the bullshit.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
But I know most parents that I know that have kids, they don't give a fuck.
Like, it hasn't translated over.
It's bad.
I think when people have kids, they try, like, we're only going to do the
organic and apples and fruits and berries.
Then the kid starts screaming.
Then he goes to school and he meets me and I'm the goldfish god.
I'm out there dishing it out, you know what I mean?
I got hamburgers, whoppers.
I got the fries that'll cross your eyes.
I got the shakes that'll make you quake.
I got the burgers.
I just got burgers.
Yeah, you can't fucking-
Shout out to Cheeseburger Eddie.
You can't, you can't, uh, you can't fight that once they're out there in the
world.
I think it's weird.
That's how the kids start smoking cigarettes.
Obviously, obviously, I don't know nothing about parenting, but I, every time I
cross paths,
with a kid who was a little crunchy in that sense.
What do you mean?
Like, ah, I can't eat at your house or your house, you know.
They're all meth heads.
Yeah, but it's just, you're just like, they get ostracized, unfortunately, a
little bit.
I mean, parents are hippies.
They're tree huggers.
You know what I mean?
They're not wearing shoes and shit.
Yeah, I remember my one buddy.
All because, like, you couldn't have fruit by the foot.
I'm like, loser.
My one good buddy growing up, I remember seeing, uh, uh, Amy's.
Instead of, like, regular frozen stuff in his freezer.
Oh, that.
It was Amy's.
And this was, like, 92.
My mom told me I couldn't go over there anymore.
Sure, that's nuts to me.
I might as well have been tofu.
That's nuts.
Dude, Amy's?
Amy's in the 90s or whatever?
That was like, you were out Woodstock.
Get out of here, you dirty hippies.
Put some shoes on.
You saw Amy's.
That's a mom who don't shave her legs.
And she's got weed in the house somewhere.
So, boys, start tossing this place.
Start flipping a mattress.
I know.
There's fucking dope in here.
A little pat on my wrist.
Ah, that was that and, like, a little Petrulli smell or, like, a little oil
smell when you walked in.
Ah.
He was my one friend that was, like, very far in that direction.
And, man, these guys got weed in here, dude.
Yeah, that's.
Start flipping.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, that's.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's tough.
Unfortunately, that kid is, like, you're, you know, just talking about him
fucking 40 years later.
Crazy.
Uh-huh.
And, like, this was pre- Whole Foods.
I think it was called Fresh Fields was the chain or I don't know how many there
were in our area.
I assume Whole Foods just bought up all those different kinds of places like
that and just made them one.
But it was, like, yeah, it was, like, organic oats instead of Honey Nut Cheerios.
Yeah.
Oh.
Also, too, you'll probably remember this.
There was a lemonade.
There was a juice bottle called Santa Cruz or something like that.
It was, like, organic lemonade.
Uh-uh.
It was good as shit, but it was, like, 12 bucks.
Go in there and crush that.
Yeah.
They had all that weed.
Yeah.
Anytime the houses had that kind of stuff, I was, like, buddy, let's call and
get a ZA delivered.
What are we doing?
This is nuts.
The first time I had swordfish.
I told you that.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Wednesday.
What was it?
It's the same time.
Like, there was a threshold of when those natural, more natural products were
adopted.
I think it was when you were a kid.
As you were getting into high school, that was becoming way more acceptable.
High school, yeah.
But if you would go over.
The first time I ever seen a turkey burger.
Oh.
What?
Like the garden or morning gardens?
Oh, those are veggie burgers.
Dude, those frozen burgers.
I was, like, get there.
We're doing burgers.
I'm, like, you're doing salads.
What are you talking about?
You're talking about those frozen veggie burgers?
Yeah, the good mornings are stirred in the green box.
Good box.
Morning Star Farms.
Morning Star Farms.
Morning Star, I'll see you later.
Get the fuck out of here.
You're going to grab a sizzle.
That, and, dude, I remember my boy Flip.
His parents had kashi, and I was, like, dude, what in the world is get me some
frosted
flakes, dude.
Kashi, in a seventh grade sleepover, you wake up in the morning, they hit you
in, and the
boxes were so small.
Like, what are we all going to smoke?
We just put a cup in this shit?
There is no amount of sugar.
There's no way.
That can save.
You got to be high as shit to enjoy a bowl of kashi.
I've never touched it.
Oh, my God.
You ever have that?
Of course.
Woo!
Man.
I'd rather eat the box than the stuff inside of it.
The box is a guy reading the newspaper.
It stinks.
God, dude.
Yeah.
That stuff was brutal.
Fuck that shit.
I hate, dude.
I hate it.
Morning Star Farms.
These are pretty good.
Fuck that shit.
You can't tell the difference.
Okay.
No, those are veggie patties.
Sure.
Which they aren't, they're not that bad in a pinch.
But turkey burgers started coming around.
That's when the movement really started.
I never remember.
I don't remember when they hit.
They might have not hit up for me up until I was up here.
Turkey burgers.
We took two steps forward and two steps back.
We went turkey burgers, I think, maybe early 90s, 92, 93.
At the house?
Yeah, Patty.
She was doing turkey burgers.
They're better for you.
I can, yeah, no.
She would also fuck up a hamburger, too.
Just burn it.
But then Bubba Burgers hit right back in the spot.
Straight back to the boys.
Straight back.
Was it the Bubba Burgers that were Philadelphia branded?
I remember the Dietz and Watson hot dogs were,
but I feel like the Bubba Burgers used to be Philadelphia branded.
Like the Phillies branded.
They worked with the Phillies.
Yeah, I remember.
I don't know if they were national or not.
I feel.
They probably just did that in every town.
Every town, yeah.
Fucking snake oil salesman.
I could be wrong.
But, yeah, they had great boxes.
Yeah, it was like Jim Fregosi on the box.
Harry Mahalan.
I think that's how you said that.
Who signed that ball?
Jim Fregosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.
Shout-out to Frigosi.