Name: Being THAT Guy at the Club! with Dan Soder
Uploaded: 2025-02-12T20:06:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Being THAT Guy at the Club! with Dan Soder' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Being THAT Guy at the Club! with Dan Soder' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-12. Transcript available.

Were you heavy into the clubs?
Oh, no.
I tried.
That's what was kind of cool.
How long did you try?
I didn't try.
My older brother kind of was five years older than me, four or five years older
than me.
So he would go to the clubs.
Your crew did that because a couple of your boys that had bars tried to, like,
set that up.
What do you mean?
Like, have, like, tables.
A couple of my boys that had bars.
You make it sound like I'm in the mob or something.
A couple of the guys.
You worked in the restaurant industry.
I remember being in, like, bottle service situations with you and your friends.
I've never paid for one.
Damn.
You got it like that.
I'll get the mixers.
No.
I just never had the...
So, like, well, there was this one club that my brother would go to and he
would get a bottle of vodka.
And if they didn't finish it, they would cork it for you and keep it.
And I found out I would go...
What, like, store credit?
Yeah, just go, ah, you didn't finish it.
We'll, like, put it in the back.
Do you mind if I come by at 12 p.m. if I'm having a tough day at work?
You just come by with an orange.
You stopped this all for me?
Come back.
Have a little of my coffee?
Come back the next week.
There's a bunch of fruit flies in there.
Sorry.
You know what?
We had a real infestation.
Your bottle of Grey Goose looks like a science experiment.
I got a half a bottle of Rumplemans back there.
You guys see monkeys.
You guys got that Bartons they put back there?
Are you guys detailing silverware with them?
I've never heard of that.
What?
They cork it?
Yeah, they cork it.
Oh, the girl must hate you when you come back.
I don't know.
Oh, the size that she lets out where you go, you know what?
We're going to get out of here.
Dude, it's worse than you think.
So my brother would go on Friday.
And I know, I'd be like, oh, well, what'd you do last night?
He's like, oh, we went over to wherever it was.
Denim, Red Sea, you know, whatever.
Whatever their name.
Fusion.
Yeah.
He'd go, ah, yeah, we got a bottle.
I'd get word that he corked a bottle.
Oh, no.
So I would show up the next night.
You would eat his leftovers?
Yeah.
You put on a lot of weight since last night.
Did they write your initials on the bottle?
They knew I was just, I was like, hey, what's up?
And I knew them.
I knew, hey, it's Danny's brother.
Your brother left like two sips.
He's coming back.
He's coming by.
And then you'd just kill it?
They're just doing shots.
You're just drinking in like a menacing way?
I'm at the bar.
Your coat's still on?
You're just sitting there?
You go, no thanks.
I brought a can of Coke myself.
And they're like.
I got a can of vanilla Coke.
I don't, you go, I don't, I don't have to tip on this, do I?
Can I eat here?
Yeah.
You guys, oh, thank God.
There's a hoagie.
You guys mind if I just pull up here at the bar?
What's the address?
I'm getting something delivered.
That's so funny.
Hey, you guys mind?
Uber Eats is outside.
Man.
Holy shit.
The food coming out in those sexy situations was always a bad look.
Dude, you just, you pulling up to the bar, full winter coat, with just the
Arizona, with
an Arizona iced tea.
A great pie?
The green tea goes real good with cold vodka.
Can you get that?
It's got ginseng in it.
I'm fighting off something.
My doctor said I need more vitamins.
This is like a, this is like a cold, hot toddy.
It's a cold toddy.
Oh man, you stink.
That's great.
Well, that was the end.
I did not know clubs did that.
I think that place might have, just because he was in there, spending money.
Yeah.
Some places you can watch two men fight to the dead.
Exactly.
Same basement of that place.
It was the basement of Pearl.
You could see that.
There's a lot of things you could see behind closed doors.
No, that was, that was the end of my early twenties was the end of that, where
you would get, you
would dress up business casual and go to the club.
Yeah.
That's what I meant.
And that's when it was like, we were in college and that's what you would do.
I always felt better at a dive bar, but I had to, you know, that's what the,
that's what
the cool, that's where the broads are going.
But it really is.
You see your personality when you go to one of those places.
I would just sit there on the corner and like, it's, I hate, I genuinely hated
how
I felt there.
Me and my friends went to the friend, all my friends I grew up with.
We went to a trip all together for my friend's 30th birthday.
So I was still like 29.
Everyone's 29 or 30.
And we go to Miami and we went to like the Fountain Blue and I did the same
thing.
And they were like, my brother's bachelor party.
That's where they went.
And they like waited in line.
And there were, I think eight of us.
You go to the pool or the club?
Well, they're, everyone's trying to go to the club, which.
They live.
Yeah.
That's what it is.
It's the best.
They say it's the best.
Man, my clubbing days are really coming out.
You really do know.
You're a promoter.
He's like, do you got two girls you can bring with?
I can get you in.
But we all waited in line like chumps.
And then they were like, we can have six of you go in.
And there was eight of us.
And I turned, I just turned to my friend Zach, who also is now sober.
You know, he works the steps.
I turned to him and I was like, let's just go to the hotel bar.
We'll just be right.
We'll wait for you guys.
We'll go to the hotel bar and drink.
And we just went and got blackout drunk while they went to the club.
We just sat there drinking.
That's all I want to do.
Off-duty cops.
That's what you, that's, that's what I would rather do.
Yeah.
My boys are over at the club.
We're hanging here.
I go, it's a, it's fucking dance time for the ladies.
When they want to come find us.
The broads are in there showing off.
They want to shake their tail feather.
We're going to be sitting here getting down to business.
I almost, I, I, I, I got so drunk.
I almost threw up taking a shot.
That's how drunk I got.
Oh, I've done that.
Where you take it.
You go.
I used to have a, I used to have a move.
I go, get me a piece of gum.
Cause the, the ad starts coming up.
A gum cancels it out right away.
And I would look at, I would look at one of my friends and go, get me a piece
of gum.
And they knew, they knew the pin was pulled and it was get out of the way.
There's been multiple times.
I bet Finnegan's wake.
The one that really jumps out.
I took a shot and was like, nope.
And I just threw up on the floor, walked out the door and just got in a cab and
went home.
Good day, gentlemen.
I did, I did a similar thing at playwrights across the street from Caroline's
was drinking
with Che.
I was already drunk.
Showed up.
Che bought me.
I bought a Guinness and a shot of Jameson.
Double shot.
Took it.
Felt it coming back up.
Just casually walked away.
Walked downstairs.
Like almost threw it in, threw the throw up in the toilet where I was like, bam.
Like that.
Came right back upstairs and drank my beer.
It's like you flushed the toilet.
What was I talking about?
Yeah.
It really was where I go, anyways, I think the dollar's okay.
You always had those bad.
It just didn't sit well.
It didn't go down.
I don't know what's going on with me.
I know what's going on.
You've had 18 drinks tonight.
Dude, I've ordered shots.
Down the wrong pipe.
I've ordered shots when you're like, this isn't going to go down.
One of my favorite comedians of all time, Troy Baxley, a Denver local, he used
to have
this thing where you always go, when we drink, he'd go, oh, that one has
corners on it.
Oh, that's good.
And you're like, what a great expression.
Uh-huh.
I'm sure, you know, I'm sure he heard that in a bar or whatever, but that one
always stuck
with me.
That one went down like glass.
Yeah, he goes, oof, that one had corners on it.
You're like, oh, yeah, that would make sense.
That's good.
Since our esophagus is our cylinder.
Worn thin.
Yeah, dude.
Just like, whoa.
You're like, oh, yeah, you're like, oh, yeah.