Name: How to Take the POWER Back with Chris Distefano!
Uploaded: 2025-03-06T19:58:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How to Take the POWER Back with Chris Distefano!' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How to Take the POWER Back with Chris Distefano!' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-06. Transcript available.

I have been a big fan of History Hyenas.
It was a great podcast.
Your hiatus definitely helped prepare or propel our career.
History hiatus.
Shout out to a lot of Patreon funds cleared up when you guys went out.
We could have just went, hey, guys, go listen to Are You Garbage.
Yeah, which they did.
Shout out to you.
Shout it out.
A lot of crossover fans.
But you do, very much as he needs a kippy, you need someone.
You've got to be on a short rope.
And Yanni understands you, another New York kid.
He's older.
He's wiser.
Right, yeah.
In better shape at the moment.
In better shape at the moment.
Not really.
Kid's cut right now.
I mean, I'm just.
The thing is.
You can always tell by his kid.
He said he's not going to the garage.
Yeah, but I've been still working out, though.
Yeah, he looks good.
He's fucking jacked right now.
I do push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups every single day.
In the house.
In the house.
I do it every single day.
I put a pull-up bar.
Shout out to Rikers Fitness.
I put up a pull-up bar in my stepson's bedroom.
So I'll go in there at 5.30 in the morning.
I'll just do pull-ups.
And then if he wakes up, he wakes up.
If not, I just keep fucking going.
Sometimes I wake him up with a fart.
Yeah.
Wait, is it in the doorway?
It's in the doorway in his bedroom.
It's the only doorway that fits because it's a fucking beaten down piece of
shit house.
You can't do this to the kid.
What are you, Max Katie?
Yeah.
I try to encourage him to get up and make his bed and do pull-ups with me, but
he won't do it.
He just tries to sleep.
But I bang out my 50 pull-ups.
You can do 50 pull-ups?
Not in a row.
Five sets of 10.
Dude, one is impressive.
And then I go into...
You would have to be the strongest man in the world.
I do the pull-ups in his room.
This is 5.30 in the morning.
I go in his room.
First thing, I knock out the pull-ups.
Then I go downstairs in the living room.
I bang out my push-ups.
Then I go...
I have a back room.
I go and do my...
I got a mat set up there.
I do my sit-ups.
Okay.
That's what I do.
And I try to get that...
Bang that all out by 6.15.
Then we start making coffee.
One kid starts waking up.
We start making dinner.
I mean, we start making breakfast, heating up the milks for the baby.
Who wants a fucking tuna fish sandwich?
We start doing shit.
Sure.
Get it going.
The house wakes up.
Now, is that regardless of what time you go to bed?
Or are you keeping your nights pretty regimented when you're not on the road?
Unless I got late, late, late spots, I typically go to bed.
What's a late, late, late spot for you to...
No, I'm saying if I'm on the road and the show starts at 10.30, the headliner's
not going
on until 11.15, I might not get back to the room until 1 o'clock in the morning.
But if I'm home in the city, I almost am never awake past 11 p.m.
That's what it is when you have kids.
And Chris, he's the pioneer of this.
I got to give him credit.
I think it's great.
Six o'clock shows.
Yeah.
But when I do theaters, I do one show, seven.
If we get lucky enough where we add tickets, 5 p.m.
Comedy clubs.
You don't go late.
No.
Comedy clubs, because they're, you know, comedy clubs got the mailing list.
They're a bit easier to sell.
Five and seven.
On a Saturday.
On Fridays, I got to eat and do the night.
You're not doing a late Saturday?
Never.
I love it.
I won't do it.
I guess they don't mind because they'll go, we'll have a local showcase at 9.30
or whatever.
Because then guess what?
At the comedy club or the theater, I'm out by 8.30.
Now I can go have a nice dinner in San Francisco like a fucking human being.
He's taking the power back.
God damn, gentlemen.
He's taking the power back.
Pioneer.
It's what it is.
You guys voted for it.
You made the right choice this November.
I think about you taking the power back a lot when we talked.
When you talked about, you know, that you had the social media, you were
getting too into it.
You pulled back from that a little bit.
You got to get off that.
I respect it.
You got to have rules you live by.
So when you're doing your spot, when you're lining up your spots in the city,
you're concentrating
them on when you do them.
And the rest of the week, you're living like a dad.
You're doing dinner, going to bed.
When I text the comedy clubs, when we have to text our availability, I'll say I'm
available
Thursday before 10, Wednesday before 9.
I don't give them a time.
I just say before this.
So I don't care how many spots you give me, but I'm not going after 9 or 4.
Well, you can do that.
I probably wouldn't get a call back.
No, you can't.
I get the 150s.
But, you know, you could.
You just got to start the day early.
No, well, here's the thing.
You can, but it's always everything in life is one step back, two forward.
So when I first did it, I got penalized a little bit.
But I just fucking ate it, and I stayed afloat.
I kept it going.
And then, let me remind you of the greatest quote of all time by Winston
Churchill that Giannis
and I have said many times.
Get those krauts.
Success is not final.
Failure is not fatal.
It's the courage to continue that counts.
I love it.
So that's what you do.
You hear that, punk?
It's a good one.
You piece of shit.
It's a good one.
You rich motherfucker.
Fucking let another real estate agent fire me.
I'll throw you in Giannis' little garage.
He's going like, what's a real estate agent?
Yeah.
He's like, what?
Don't you guys just buy cash?
What's the mortgage rate?
My mother, I just, I don't even know.
I just have a place.
You bought an apartment in Bitcoin yesterday.
Yeah, I just have a place.
I mean, look at how comfortable he's got no shoes on.
He's crazy.
He's doing this fucking podcast in socks.
Yeah, how great was it when you told your mom you actually had a job?
I mean, that's all you need to tell her.
What you don't know about it, he took off his Birkenstocks to produce the
podcast.
Where'd you grow up?
What city?
Connecticut.
Oh!
Greenwich?
I was born there.
Yes.
Oh, Greenwich man.
That's fucking real money.
Oh, that's real money.
That's not just made money.
That's not just, oh, my dad had a plumbing business and it exploded money.
Shut up to that kind of money.
That is, you have a portrait of your ancestors in the foyer.
Yeah.
There's a baker.
You have a cousin named Baker.
I know all the lineage.
Is there a coal in your family?
It's generational money.
Yes.
Yeah.
Do you call your dad father?
Papa.
Father.
Yes.