Name: H. Foley Tells HILARIOUS Yoga Ball Story on MSSP w/ Shane Gillis & Matt McCusker
Uploaded: 2025-03-09T21:33:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'H. Foley Tells HILARIOUS Yoga Ball Story on MSSP w/ Shane Gillis & Matt McCusker' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'H. Foley Tells HILARIOUS Yoga Ball Story on MSSP w/ Shane Gillis & Matt McCusker' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-09. Transcript available.

can you tell the story of going through the yoga ball or the uh exercise ball
this is yeah that
this one was pretty bad I think about this story constantly but hold this chick
she lived in the
Thomas Jefferson houses in the Bronx and I went up there and it was it was a
bad there was just a
dude sleeping on her couch and her kids were there and we went in the room I
stayed overnight
it was bad there were so many roaches in there and I just seen this documentary
about roaches
crawling in somebody's ear and screaming and I was a sweet life you were living
at the time
I was so bugged out and the kids were so sweet and I remember like we were in
there we hooked up
yeah I was I thought for like a week that this was a sign from God that I was
supposed to like
marry this woman and save her and the kids I just never talked to her again but
for a couple of days I really thought like I had like a sign from God but I
remember she's like
let's get the kids out of the house or whatever and they were like can we go to
the store or whatever
I'm like yeah I had like you know a couple 20s on me then the dude on the couch
comes in he's like
oh can I grab something too just keep him at 20 and then they came back with
like uh Chinese food or
something and we all ate as a family that's awesome and then watched uh Kung Fu
hustle and went to sleep
and I slept with toilet paper in my ears because I didn't want the roaches to
crawl
yeah I'm sorry yeah I'm talking about on the Chinese food run you banged yeah
on the Chinese food run
I just I had a similar like horrific horny story when I like I remember I was
at a strip club met a
stripper whole thing changed numbers I'm like yes I could finally date a stripper
this would be so
sick and I went to her house there's just a nine-month-old infant there and I
was like all right
like I think we might have kissed yeah that's a good kiss though as you just
dip her the pacifier
and sweet and sour McDonald's sauce and put it in the baby's mouth and I was
like dude this is
fucking dark holy and then there were there were trans prostitutes above she
was she told me this
and they were like making a ruckus up there it was they were up there banging
around and she was
like yeah dude like they'll set up shop in the hallway I'll just hear like dong
dong dong against
the door and open up and one of them was getting piped out in the hallway we
get up get upstairs
you guys and they're like shut the fuck up it was rugged man that's when you
get a taste and you're
like yeah I'm gonna scale it back a lot about that life yeah not at all out of
it not at all the yoga
ball story I was living in a studio apartment in Queens this is towards the end
of my first run in New
York before I moved home to Philly and did comedy I was doing a lot of blow my
brother had
like got engaged and moved out of the apartment that we lived and I was by
myself and it was bad
so working at this place I was doing blow and maybe like six months in it was
like a nice little
apartment on the first floor just been redone had all stuff in there was making
a go of it
I got bed bugs and I had to throw out everything in my apartment every single
thing in my apartment
so I had a blow-up mattress that was like my bed like in the corner like I had
like a comforter
and shit on this thing after I cleaned it all out and my head I had a yoga ball
for my computer
where I would fucking sit there do blow jerk off all that kind of stuff you
know the norm
and I had this hooker over there one night and fucking I was smoking where you
know we're watching
porn obviously and all that kind of stuff obviously that's what you do when you
get a hooker
and I was smoking a cigarette and I was I was naked and I was probably covered
in like olive oil or
Vaseline or something completely naked you were ready for sex
and I had to go in the oven at 350 for an hour poke some holes in them and let
them sweat baby
now you just want to heat him up
and I just put my cigarette down and it popped the fucking yoga ball and I just
fucking
and I remember she started laughing at me and she had like a deviated septum
she was like
like just snorting and laughing at me and man I'm sorry about that it's the
funny I mean sitting
there bouncing smoking a cigarette just oiled up naked you're at the time you're
as cool as you
could be in that moment you got a fucking hooker you're all you're having a
blast and then boom
on the fucking ground did the little pin that holds the air and fly out or did
you blow it out
he claims it was the cigarette there's obviously it was not the cigarette there's
a weight issue
yeah I wasn't this big dude this is so recent this size yeah how big were you
like you were still
maybe maybe 250 yeah all right that's good for 250 ain't doing yoga
you can't bounce up and down on a goddamn Chinese made yoga balls
fucking bullshit yeah I was uh no way it was the cigarette
no I think it went down like in pot because it blew up like from the burn hole
really I never thought about it I believe you
I don't believe you now now I don't believe him and I've never thought about it
but he lies
about everything it was for sure how's it gonna land on a maybe it rolled over
a safety pin or
something like sniper the next building took him out it's probably the hooker's
fault honestly
it was definitely I had some jacks sprinkled on the floor
I try I had a set of spike strips in the house I forgot
that's why you're spiked brass knuckles you were playing with at the same time
yeah I was showing
him my butterfly knife yeah pretty cool did you fall flat on your back dude
like that oh yeah right on my
ass I remember my coccyc bone was sore for like two weeks after that
having a hooker store last oh dude it's like a gun went off it was like four in
the morning
and I was real paranoid because I was on the first floor in the lobby and I had
two doors
like I had two doors that entered my apartment
and like I get so cooked up I'd be like listening to doors to see if everybody
was in there
I was sketched out you want to take the romance out of the room
fucking pop a yoga ball covered in olive oil
you guys got fucking issues man I ain't real dry skin
I'm a freak man
you're on the room
what are you talking about
you've never been covered in bam spray before
yeah
you're on the room