Name: H. Foley Was A Male Model (Sort Of...)
Uploaded: 2025-03-20T18:58:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'H. Foley Was A Male Model (Sort Of...)' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'H. Foley Was A Male Model (Sort Of...)' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-20. Transcript available.

I forgot to mention something in your intro.
Uh-oh.
Also, goes along with the episode,
former counterman at the flagship store
in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
from Macy's Department Store.
I was a haberdasher, sure.
At the Wanamaker building.
At the Wanamaker building.
That's it.
It doesn't get any bigger than that.
Third floor, menswear.
It does get a little bigger than that.
Where?
Bloomingdale's.
King of Prussia Mall.
Fragrance model.
I would push back on that.
Winner of 96.
That's how you doing.
Okay, first of all,
you were a seasonal employee.
That's trash.
Okay?
I was full-time, dog.
Yeah, they brought me in when they needed me.
I was banging in the summertime.
I was a model.
You were the fat guy.
You probably had a slice of Sparrow
underneath the register.
Nah, at that point,
I was going to fucking,
I was going to Quiznos
getting that chicken.
Run it through again.
Oh, man.
That was the first time
I had like real tangy sauce on a sandwich.
That's the first time I saw an assembly line
to make a sandwich.
That thing was wild.
It was like,
not a chicken pesto par.
It was something like that, man.
It wasn't a kale salad.
It was not.
That and a couple of fucking chocolate chip cookies.
A couple two-tree heaters.
I'd go back and sell you the shit
out of a pair of fucking Nike swim trunks.
A little bit of brownie on the corner of your lips.
Yeah, I was a big retail man.
Everybody knows that.
My days at Macy's.
I was a model.
Stop saying that.
I was a fragrance model.
Okay.
At Bloomingdale's.
What do you want me to do?
Blow you?
What do you want from me, guy?
You wouldn't want it to back then.
A little spritz as he walked by.
I don't know.
All black.
My Aunt Jill got me the job.
She ran the makeup counter up there.
I love those ladies.
I love walking through the perfume department
at a department store.
I hate it because it makes me sad.
I talk about it all the time on the show.
I loved it.
Yeah.
That's a hell of a curse.
People would recognize me.
Oh, my God.
What have you done?
No fragrance modeling.
That's not recognizing you.
That's bumping India.
Recognize you.
No, no, no.
See, this is what you do.
People recognize me.
This is Pete LaCrosse.
You're the kid that shit his pants
at the pizza hut the other day.
No, no.
I didn't shit my pants.
This is when I was different.
This was Pete LaCrosse.
I was probably about $1.69, $1.70, $1.71.
I'm not saying you weren't.
Stop cutting me off.
I'm not saying you weren't in shape,
but there were people you knew you would see.
Yeah.
Recognize you means, hey, that guy's been on TV before.
That wasn't you.
I get a recognition.
See, man, you're delusional.
There's a modeling gig.
I tried to parlay.
It'd be one thing if people recognized you
from the modeling gig in school.
Oh, you're the guy who sprayed my mom
in the eyes with curve.
She has a bad rash now.
You guys are pumping fucking knockoffs.
Made my dog sick.
I'm selling dupes.
CKC.
That CKB was a big hit.
That CK1, dude.
I was a polo man.
Polo sport.
If you wanted to call some ass
at Widener University, 1995, 96,
you better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.
You better have a little CK1 on you.