Name: CRYING Laughing Over Mom's Reaction to Foreign Food! | Are You Garbage
Uploaded: 2025-04-24T16:30:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CRYING Laughing Over Mom's Reaction to Foreign Food! | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'CRYING Laughing Over Mom's Reaction to Foreign Food! | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-24. Transcript available.

I don't know if I ever told you this, but...
I got a go-puff last night.
My one Korean buddy in high school, all right, his parents worked all the time,
so they were never around.
They both worked crazy, busting their ass.
As Korean immigrants tend to do.
They were first generation.
They had just gotten here.
I think import-exporting they were doing.
So we never really saw it.
We never really made that...
North or south?
I believe south.
Or maybe north to get the hell out of there.
I don't know.
But made a nice life for themselves.
Did very well.
Nice house, all that stuff.
So they were never really around, so we never really made a connection with
them.
And they didn't speak any English.
So we...
And they had two refrigerators.
They had a regular refrigerator and they had a Korean refrigerator with all the
good stuff in it in the kitchen.
So it's a senior year in high school.
There's like a snowstorm or something like that.
We all take acid.
It's like a Wednesday night.
And we're over at his house.
His parents are upstairs sleeping.
And we're downstairs.
So we decide to open up the...
Korean fridge.
Yes.
And we start dying laughing.
That's...
I mean, dude.
For a high school kid.
A high school kid.
A fucked up high school kid opened up a Korean refrigerator.
I would laugh now.
The craziest shit.
I'd have to be asked to leave.
Like if I looked at it now, I may be able to identify some stuff like a little
Calbee or something like that.
But it was all like...
It was like whole fish like in bags and all that kind of stuff.
Like a duck hanging or anything like that.
All kinds of crazy Korean stuff.
Right?
And we're literally...
We're passing it around.
We're standing in the kitchen dying fucking laughing.
And all of a sudden we turn and the light goes on.
And it's his dad and his little baby sister standing there.
She's like rubbing her eyes.
And he's standing there in like the 1950 pajamas.
You know what I mean?
He's got the candle and everything.
Bayonet.
And he just goes...
In broken English, he goes, go home please.
You guys got to get out of here.
And we all turn and we look at him.
And I was holding like a bag of octopus.
And when he said...
It sucks on your face.
And when he said that, I threw it to my one buddy.
And we all started dying laughing in this guy's face.
I would have kicked your fucking ass.
Dude, your Korean boy got beat the fuck up.
He got the shoe, definitely.
He got all the beatings they wanted to give you guys.
I mean, we just laughed in this guy's face for about a minute and a half.
And then just fucking walked out the garage door.
That's a fucking tough one, dude.
We had a...
I've said this before, but we had a...
My brother's school had a kid from Iceland in, Donnie.
And he like stayed with different families for like a week or so at a time.
That's a narc in my school.
He's fucking 32.
He's got a mustache in 10th grade.
I never understood that, man.
What?
It was like a soccer program because they were on a pretty good soccer team.
So it was like, he comes over.
I don't really know.
But the whole foreign exchange.
Did we do that the other way?
Yeah.
Oh, high school kids?
I don't know.
I'm sure.
Not like college.
I study abroad.
Yeah, we had a couple foreign exchanges.
Who the fuck wants to go to Iceland for high school?
Fuck that, dude.
That's something I can see Tommy doing.
Just to get a hot meal in him.
Right.
And a warm bed.
Stop getting cigarettes put out on him for a couple of weeks.
All the classes are in saunas or whatever.
Sauna.
And dude, so he got passed around from like family to family for like a week or
so at a time.
And we got him from this like fucking Northeast Philly family.
The mom.
Where is he from again?
I'm sorry.
He was from Iceland.
Okay.
Do you know where that is, Tom?
Excuse me?
It's where they make snow cones.
It's in the back of the Wawa.
It's the walk-in.
That's where they keep the milk.
So like I remember she was dropping them.
So the mom came, drove to my mom's house, was dropping him off with his stuff.
And he, you know, now you got a bunch of.
He's staying at your house?
He stayed at our house for a couple of days, two or three days.
I told you this.
They got him all fucked up on weed and booze and he puked all over my sister's
bed.
I told you this.
He woke me up in the middle at like fucking 6 a.m.
He's like, I had an accident.
I thought he peed.
So I'm like, all right, man.
It's okay.
How old were you?
Oh, I was.
If they're 16, 17, I'm 11, 12.
Why didn't you wake your brother up?
I don't know.
He was fucked up.
They were up drinking and smoking all fucking night.
Let the kid sleep it off.
You know what I mean?
Also, you know my brother.
Do you want to wake me up or him up if you've had an accident?
Was your sister sleeping in the bed?
No.
Oh, where was she?
In college, probably.
So we had a spare room, so we were going to move him in.
It was a pink room.
Everything was pink.
The comforter was pink.
He puked all over the fucking room, dude.
Did the peas find out?
Yeah.
So then we go, all right, shower.
I go, just shower.
We'll figure this out.
And then he gets in the shower and doesn't put the shower curtain on the inside
of the tub.
Ooh, that'll get you.
So he's in there for like 20 minutes, you know, fucking cleaning the puke out
of his hair.
He's destroying your house.
And dude.
Probably wailing on his herring in there.
Giving the old T-bass a slap.
Doing a little pickling.
Woo-wee.
Dude, so it starts leaking.
And my mom's like.
I was feeling in my he's.
Remember Big J?
Yeah.
He was doing crowd work with two people from Norway.
And he went.
She was.
She was suking our dukes.
She was suking our dukes.
And then duking Coom.
We didn't even know him then.
I know.
We had just moved to New York and he was doing crowd work.
He was in stand-up New York on the Upper West Side.
These two chases were suking our dukes.
Shout out fucking Jason Oakerson.
New special out.
Well, funny.
Hands down, my funniest guy.
I mean, the funniest guy.
Did you guys have nosebleeds growing up?
What the fuck?
Did you nosebleed when you were growing up?
Brian, pull the van over, will you?
Hey, phenomenon, zip it, will you?
No powder.
I think powder.
No, because I remember it.
Fucking powdered donuts over here.
Fucking Green Mile, mouth full of bees.
Because I slept in my buddy's.
Dog tired, yeah, genie.
Dog tired.
Now we didn't have fucking nosebleeds.
We got laid in high school.
I'm so busy getting pussy.
Get the fuck out of here.
Jesus Christ.
You fucking limp noodle.
I had nosebleeds.
So sometimes.
Probably from playing the clarinet or whatever you were doing.
Are you kidding me?
My nosebleeds.
My nose bled up until like.
Probably from the radar leaking that dump you grew up in.
Up until like I graduated high school.
Like carbon monoxide.
It might have been.
Your eyeballs were dry.
Because it was up until I graduated high school.
Because I slept.
He's got black lung in fourth grade.
They got to keep a canary in his room.
He's got toilet paper in his nose.
I used to sleepwalk a lot too.
You sound like a fun guy.
Yeah, what the fuck?
You're making fun of this bad idiot.
Sleepwalking with a nosebleed.
Hey, Rosemary's baby.
Shut up.
But hold on.
So this mom came over.
This mom came over to drop Donnie off.
Oh, my baby.
And she goes, my mom.
First of all, none of these people all from Philadelphia have ever met a guy
from Iceland.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
Let alone a teenager figure in this house.
He might as well be from fucking Saturn.
That's North Philly.
This Northeast Philly.
Like, stereotypical Northeast Philly kid.
My mom goes, anything I need to know about Donnie?
She goes, he eats some weird fucking fish.
And my mom goes, who do you mean?
He's like, Al's eating a lot of tuna fish.
He eats the cat.
He eats the cat.
He eats a lot of weird fucking food.
I'm just like, what?
She goes, I don't know.
He had some wrapped up in tinfoil.
I think it was a gate's head.
He thought he was traveling with a goat's head.
Wrapped in tinfoil.
He flew.
She thinks he got on a commercial flight with a goat's head.
I don't know.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.
I think it was a goat's head.