Name: Pantsing People In Your 20s is CRAZY!
Uploaded: 2025-05-01T17:01:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pantsing People In Your 20s is CRAZY!' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pantsing People In Your 20s is CRAZY!' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-01. Transcript available.

Those spoons, because we go to Korean barbecue a lot with my friends in Denver,
those spoons had to be outlawed in the same way that pantsing people had to be
outlawed in my early 20s.
In your early 20s, you were pantsing people?
I remember being at weddings.
That should be a question.
Weddings?
Yeah.
Pantsing the bride?
When was the last time you pantsed someone or been pantsed?
Well, my 20 years coming up, and already my friends are like,
so is there a truce being called?
Is the treaty still intact?
We're almost all 40.
Are we going to be?
Well, the worst one was the pants and the push.
You ever get pants and push?
That was the big move.
Yeah.
Dude, laying on the ground hanging brain at a wedding is a tough look.
And it's even better, because there's that moment where you go over,
where you're like, well, my pants are down.
And then you look up, and you see your underwear.
Or, with my dirtbag friends, just your fucking revealed balls.
It's also like, man, my pants fell down.
This could not get any worse.
And then you get the wind knocked out of you.
That's crazy.
Are you Biff Tannen?
That's crazy, dude.
I remember learning at an early age.
I almost got got on the playground.
I was wearing basketball shorts at the school.
Oh, no.
And basketball shorts.
You're begging for it.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
And they went, someone got me from behind.
And I was able to get my front, so just my ass got out of me.
Yeah.
I was able to save the fucking tiddly wing.
Your honor.
Did you see how he was dressed?
And, dude, from then on, I'm doing, like, two belts, fucking tight pair of corduroys.
You ain't getting these things off.
You would have been called Kevin Mangina for the rest of high school.
Oh, for sure.
The chode.
I wish.
The little guy.
The little big man.
Oh, God.
Hi, buddy.
Had a great line when we asked him, if you got pants right, what would happen?
Are you a grunt?
Somebody's talking to you, Joe, and he went, if I got pants right now, I'd have
to switch
schools.
Yeah.
And I was like, buddy, I feel you.
I'd move, for sure.
Yeah.
It is funny, that moment of you're like, well, this is surely the bottom of my
day.
This is the worst of my month.
There's no way this could get worse.
And then you've ruined the one jacket you have in the mud at your fucking rodeo
wedding you're
at.
I fell at a wedding one time.
I was so fucked up.
And it was one of those ones.
It was down in Fishtown in Philadelphia.
It was like an event space.
It used to be like a warehouse, so the floor was concrete.
Like, the whole floor was concrete.
But smooth, like, redone, finished concrete, man.
Roller ring concrete.
Yes.
And I got, I don't know.
Sounds like a classy affair.
I got four IPAs just hit.
I got like fucking 15 IPAs at me.
Didn't know they were heavier than normal.
Yeah.
And man, it was one of those where, like, it feels like that fucking, that
GoPro's on
you, and the floor came up to me.
Oh, yeah.
I did not move, dude.
The next thing you know, I'm just looking up, and people's grandmoms are like,
what
the hell's wrong with this?
Yeah.
Fucking tall.
Is he doing the worm?
My dad passed out at my sister's wedding.
He got too high.
And then there was like three minutes of the wedding where we were like, I
wonder if my
dad's dead.
You know, we're like dancing.
I think it'll be all right.
Yeah.
And he got too high.
My dad got too high.
And then all that, so then he's fine, obviously.
And then my sister's like, you ruined my wedding.
To you?
No, to my dad.
We thought you were dead for a big part of the speeches, old man.
It was during the speeches?
No, no.
It was towards the end of the evening.
Okay.
But yeah, he did succumb to his own vice, and he was just on the ground.
And my wife's a doctor, and she was like, went over there, you know, boogaloo.
Man, passing out from weed.
Some good shit.
My cousin, who was younger, he was probably like an early teen, you know,
whatever, maybe
like 14 or something.
He ate a cookie that had a peanut in it or something.
Oh, no.
At my brother's wedding, man.
And they came, they rushed like full-blown fucking cops, you know, ambulance.
It's your brother's wedding?
And no one gave a fuck.
Dude, he was like out.
He wasn't in the room anymore.
He was like out in the hallway.
And dude, no.
You all right?
All right.
It was just like back to fucking bumping and grinding.
Yeah, you just grab him by his fucking air forces and drag him into the hall.
You put him underneath that flag at half-messed in the VFW where all of the
weddings in your
family take place.
This is a glazy affair.
I can't believe you remember the concrete in the wedding hall.
Ah, yeah.
That was...
Laying under a don't tread on me flag.
Yeah.
Everybody salutes him, goes back to the dance room.
One guy freaks out because he's underneath an American flag, and he remembers
all of his
buddies' funerals.
Starts losing it.
Yeah.
Fold up an eagle's flag.
Give it to your mom.
He was a good kid.
They're doing that thing where they're walking into each other.
Yeah.
Go, birds.
21 bump salute.
Pushed it.
Too far.
It was good.
Thank you.
Just timing.
Timing.
That was my favorite part of the show, was where you go, nothing on that.
Nothing on that.
It's like there was maybe a third of a second for the joke to hit, and you're
already reeling.
Panic sexed it quick.
Oh, I understand.
Time moves slow behind the microphone.
It's all bullet time for you.
You're Max Payne.
It's like Interstellar.
*laughs*