Name: Jessica Kirson's TOP Junk Foods! | Are You Garbage?
Uploaded: 2025-05-05T19:59:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jessica Kirson's TOP Junk Foods! | Are You Garbage?' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jessica Kirson's TOP Junk Foods! | Are You Garbage?' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-05. Transcript available.

When you're traveling, you fly up front in first class?
Of course, come on.
You got to.
I don't pay for a first class ticket, but I get bumped up a lot on Delta.
You're a Delta gal.
Yeah.
Will you bring food on the plane?
Yes.
You will.
I always, not like a meal.
You're not getting like a burger.
No, I always have snacks.
First of all, I'm a mom and I'm Jewish, so I always, we always have food on us
in case
we get taken away again.
It's okay, I got goldfish.
Yes.
We're going to be all right.
Some people, I love that you say goldfish.
It's so perfect for children.
I could take this and we could spread it over eight nights.
Yeah.
These snacks were only supposed to last one night.
I have a challah.
No, some people are like, what do you mean taken away?
What happened?
So, yeah, no, I always do have, but I've always been like that even before I
was a mom.
I always had food on me.
What are the preferred snacks?
Very interesting.
Cheez-its, combos, goldfish.
What are we talking?
Like you just said, I fucking love.
Okay.
Anything crunchy, cheesy.
Cheez-it over a combo?
No, combo over a Cheez-it.
Combo over a Cheez-it?
You heard it here first, gang.
I love Cheez-its too.
I have them at home, but I love combos.
There's something dirty.
They're like a dirty little whore, a combo.
They are dirty.
They have the dust.
I know.
I eat fistfuls.
I know.
They hit different than a Cheez-it.
They do.
Cheez-it's like you're studying.
Fucking combo's like, I'm getting down and dirty.
They also have a prize inside.
Like you get the cheese.
You get the fucking pepperoni.
Yeah.
Do you do the pepperoni?
Yeah, I do all of them.
I love them.
You do a pepperoni combo?
Yeah.
Let's write that down.
I know.
It is shocking.
That's catchy for me.
I'm a cheddar cheese man.
Yeah.
You wouldn't think it, but I do.
Dude, those are always dusty at the gas station.
Yeah, I know.
Combos all across the country are always on the bottom shelf.
Always dusty for some reason.
Why is that?
Next to the shoe polish.
That's crazy.
Show a little respect.
But I do love chips.
Hit me with your favorite chip.
Oh, that's a really hard one.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I mean, oh my God, that's hard.
I love all of them.
Salt and vinegar.
I love salt and vinegar.
I love sour cream and onion.
Salt and vinegar is gross.
I fucking love them.
Stop.
For British people.
That's crazy.
Don't listen to him.
I like the plain potato chip, like the oily plain potato chip.
Cape Cod, kettle cooked, sea salt.
I love Cape Cod.
Home run.
Yeah, home run.
But I do like just the Utz plain potato chip.
Have you noticed a lot of those kettle cooked, the Cape Cod, they've really
gone with like
the flat, the matte finish of the bag to make it seem classier compared to an
Utz, which
is just like the thin foil.
They're trying to elevate the bag.
Yeah, those are good.
The thin foil.
Those are always good.
Those are, yeah.
I love a Dorito.
I mean.
Sure.
I'm doing Doritos.
Are you kidding?
I love Doritos.
Good for you.
What flavor?
I like the plain, but I like the blue, you know, whatever, the cool ranch.
Cool ranch.
I mean, I'm not really into spicy, like really spicy, because I want to slam
them into my
mouth.
How do you feel about a bugle?
I love bugles, but I don't eat them a lot, but I love them.
You put them on your fingers.
I used to.
I used to.
You got to.
It's a part of the Geneva Convention.
And my toes.
That might be the other reason.
I love bugles.
Do you like Funyuns?
Of course.
Not a Funyun man.
I love Funyuns.
Love them.
Me too.
I like Funyuns over onion rings.
Don't say it right now.
I don't care who knows.
I love onion rings.
Okay.
You guys are wild card today.
I'll give it to you.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
What's your go-to drink?
If you're like, you're stopping at a gas station, you're on the road.
Are you getting like a Diet Coke?
You did a seltzer when you're doing a seltzer?
I'm doing a Diet Coke or my favorite is Diet Sprite.
Sprite Zero.
It's amazing.
What the fuck?
What are you in the X Games?
Who does that?
It's very.
Sprite Zero.
I like it that, you know what I like?
That no one knows what it is.
No one.
No one.
Yeah.
More for me.
You know what?
It's very carbonated and I like when it hurts.
It's got a bite to it.
I like, but I like, I want it to hurt my throat.
I get that.
You eat the chips.
Get her out of here.
You cut the whole inside of your mouth because I fuck my mouth with them.
And then I drink the Diet Sprite.
It's great.
It's great.
That's what my mom does, who's a big fan of yours, by the way.
My mom does Coke or Sprite Zero with the.
She does?
With the Hers Nuggets.
And she'll just sit there watching the news, just crushing them.
Talk about ruining the inside of your mouth.
No enamel left.
Shout out to Denise.
Wow.
I love it.
Shout out to Denise.
You got Denise.
Denise in the house.
Do you do any fast food these days?
I love fast food.
Okay.
I take my kids a lot for it.
And I will eat what they're eating.
But I don't, I mean, I used to, all the time, then this is embarrassing, but I
would go on
the Jersey Turnpike all the time and go through drive-thrus, just service areas,
fucking drive,
and get like 15 things.
I'm not even kidding.
And I loved Wendy's and I love-
Were you going somewhere or you were just going to the rest stop?
I love Roy Rogers.
That was my favorite.
I know that Roy Rogers.
Great.
It's amazing.
And I would binge eat, and don't get upset because I would never do this now,
but I would
eat everything, like shove it in, and then I would throw the bag out the window.
Out the window.
Yeah, listen.
That's the 80s, baby.
Yeah.
It was a different time.
It was the 80s.
It was.
It was a coin flip whether that bag was getting launched out the window.
Yeah, exactly.
Crazy.
I have a huge thing with littering now, but I had to get rid of the evidence.
Sure.
It was all styrofoam, too.
Yeah.
Man.
Just a plastic straw with a turtle attached to it.
Yeah.
All right.
So would you say Wendy's is your favorite?
No.
What is?
I think it would be like McDonald's.
I mean, it has to be-
The classic.
The classic lady.
If I were to say my favorite one.
Beautiful.
Great, great, great answer.
And I was going to say, I'm also a child of the 80s.
Roy Rogers back in the day threw out a mean bacon double cheeseburger.
Yeah, they were great.
Great.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was in the foil.
It was fantastic.
And it all fell apart.
What are you going to do?
What?
Shifting from food for a minute, unless you have any-
No, please.
Pizza Hut or Domino's, if you had to?
Domino's.
Okay.
I respect that.
Okay.
I'll give you that.
I feel that's the right answer.
I like Pizza Hut, but I really love Domino's.
People either like it or they don't.
Yeah.
I've always liked it.
- Oh.