Name: Disneyland Divorce: How to Tell the Kids it's OVER!
Uploaded: 2025-05-09T17:01:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Disneyland Divorce: How to Tell the Kids it's OVER!' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Disneyland Divorce: How to Tell the Kids it's OVER!' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-09. Transcript available.

This is from Mikey B. My parents told us they were getting a divorce after 30
years, two days before a family vacation.
My only concern was if we were still going to Florida. We still had a great
time.
See, I respect that. There's no need for all this fighting. It didn't work out.
Not at the happiest place on earth.
Let's be friends and walk away.
Sure.
You know what I'm saying?
That's very funny. That's the impetus of my parents getting divorced was Disney.
Yeah, your dad didn't go.
It was the morning of. I remember having Mickey ears on, my little guy, and he
was like tying my shoes.
He was like, hey, slugger, I'm not coming today.
And I said, you, what the fuck?
Now watch that checkbook's still coming.
I was told breakfast with the characters.
If you want to start buying my affection, you better start now.
No kidding.
He didn't go.
You had Mickey ears on going to the plane?
I was like, maybe four.
Still a loser.
Sorry.
I remember having a Mickey.
Did they tell you leading up to that, hey, you're going to be going to Disney
World in a couple of weeks or whatever?
I'm sure.
I mean, I was like a child.
Usually what the parents do is they don't say shit, and then you wake up that
day.
I've seen videos of that.
My parents never did.
I never went to Disney World.
I took you to Disney World.
You did take me to Disney World.
I knew about it, though.
You didn't surprise me.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
Man, it's just never about it.
You should have.
That would have been great if you surprised me.
If I would have came into the studio one day, hey, big guy, we packed your bags.
We're going down to Disney World.
You still would have found some way that, this is stupid.
I don't want to do it.
I loved it.
It was my best trip ever.
I loved Disney.
You said thank you.
I thought that's crazy.
I don't know.
I blew you in the car, didn't I?
I thought they were poached eggs.
Yeah, I would have the assumption that Disney World is probably like a crucial
breaking point
in a lot of families.
Vacations are in general.
I know, but I'm saying Disney World because that is like, the kids are hyped.
You're not just going to fucking Nana's house in the fucking Catskills.
This is like, we're saving up.
It's so expensive.
All this fucking pressure.
Finally, it's like, I never fucking loved you.
Most of the times, you really can't, like, theoretically, you can't afford it,
but you're making it
work.
Get the average cost.
I mean, I'm sure we've did this.
The average cost of Disney for a family of four.
It's got to be, with flights, got to be seven grand.
And that's stressful.
That's not staying on property.
You're staying on property.
That's fucking 10, 15 grand.
And that's stressful.
That's what I'm saying.
And they get down there.
And one thing goes wrong.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
One of the kids not having fun.
Kids getting into a fight.
What do you got?
I mean, they're saying six to eight grand.
Six to eight grand?
Yeah.
That's probably on average.
Wait, what's the family of four?
Well, they said the super budget friendly is $2,200.
That's probably if you live local.
That's sleeping in your car.
Exactly.
That's kids bitching.
And then up to 15 grand.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
I would probably say you get that.
You're going down for four days a week.
The room, the food, the fucking restaurants, the souvenirs.
You're in for 10.
Build a lightsaber or something.
Yeah.
You're in for 10.
You never had anything like that, right?
It was all smooth sailing.
We went to Legoland, I remember.
You get 20 bucks.
20?
Yeah.
The fuck are you going to get a Legoland for 20 bucks?
I'd work my way up to 100.
Sweep it up?
I shorted the market a little bit.
Was able to convert that.
I bought some put calls or whatever the fuck they're called.
This guy.
By the way, me and Luke got into a sneaky crypto yesterday.
I heard about it.
I dumped into it this morning.
You got out of it?
It went up a little bit.
I did.
I have six million shares.
Baby, that just got to hit 10 bucks and everybody can S my D.
Wait a minute.
Did you get out of it or are you in it?
I'm in it, baby.
I'm in it to win it.
Yeah, right.
What do you mean, yeah, right?
I'm in gold.
You take out your tooth.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.