Name: The Boys LOSE IT Over Squid Ink Pasta!
Uploaded: 2025-05-22T16:01:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Boys LOSE IT Over Squid Ink Pasta!' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Boys LOSE IT Over Squid Ink Pasta!' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-22. Transcript available.

I, there's, there's one, there's a grocery store I go to when I'm in the burbs.
This guy is, uh, they're all a little like, I hate when they over explain it to
you.
Like you don't know how the machine works, you know, it's kind of like going
through
TSA security.
They're like, and some are different or whatever.
And you got to hold it till you hear the long beat.
You're like, I know, man, it's fucking, I thought it'd be, I, whatever it was,
you know,
I like give you, they, they do the one guy that grabbed my card.
I was like, I'll fucking slap the shit out of you in this super fresh right now.
I was so against that stuff.
What stuff?
The tapping.
I thought something didn't trust it.
Didn't like it.
It's the best.
You're at the door.
Yeah.
Very, very futuristic.
You're gone.
I kind of looked down for a long time on Apple pay too, as like using it at a,
at a point of
sale, like at a grocery store, because I thought that was for more like online.
That was like, to me, in my naive brain, it was more like a Venmo, like, oh, I
can buy
something with Apple pay.
I remember seeing people, this is not that long, two years ago, being like,
what are you
Steve Jobs, motherfucker?
Get your credit card out like the rest of us.
Hey, Neuralink, hurry it up.
Yeah, it's like, dude, what the fuck?
I got to write a check here.
Will anybody know what the date is?
Who's got a pen, man?
I just got my mechanical pencil.
Do you have a pen on you right now?
Uh, no.
Huh.
Okay.
Do you?
What?
I'm afraid it's going to puncture my scrotum.
Do you?
Nah, it gets my pockets.
What?
It gets my pockets.
What gets your pockets?
It'll leak in my pockets.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Okay.
It happened to me in high school.
One time?
So I've never, I've never written another word in my life.
I had a nice crisp white shirt on, and I had a pen in my pocket.
It leaked all over.
You in the lab?
My laboratory?
What a high schooler carries pens in his top.
I got a pen there.
It's like you're managing a fucking supermarket.
You got your sleeves rolled up.
You're doing an end cap.
You're restocking the tasty cakes.
Waiting on the Edelman's guy.
You got it in your ear.
I look like a squid got me.
Which I assume that you don't touch that.
Squid?
Squidding pasta.
I've had it.
I mean, black pasta.
What am I?
What are we in hell?
That's crazy.
Hey, what's in the licorice?
Yeah.
What is this?
Sambuca flavored?
No way.
What are we in hell?
This is the devil fettuccine?
No, thank you.
We had it one time.
I had it once years ago.
I remember my mom trying to push that tricolor pasta on us.
Holy shit.
We almost moved and didn't tell her.
We were in South Philly.
This was probably right after college.
Before comedy.
I remember being so broke.
It was my friends who had jobs.
Dude, you see squidding pasta.
You need paid forms of payment.
I didn't know what it was.
It came out.
I'll never forget it.
I'll never forget it.
I went, what the hell is even that?
And they're like, yeah, it dyed black.
I said, we are not splitting this bill anymore.
I had the raviolis and that's all I'm paying for.
Because they ordered a bunch.
You eat that, forget you ate it.
Yikes.
Scary.