Name: The Family Fights that Almost Broke Up The Foleys! | Are You Garbage
Uploaded: 2025-06-10T19:00:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Family Fights that Almost Broke Up The Foleys! | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Family Fights that Almost Broke Up The Foleys! | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-10. Transcript available.

Man, if one thing the Foley's could do in the 80s was have a nice family fight,
it was like we were all individual countries.
There was no child.
There was no adult.
It was every man for themselves.
It was every man for himself.
My mom could, it would start small.
It would be a proxy war.
You know what I mean?
That turned nuclear.
Sure.
CIA couldn't control it.
Send some arms over certain borders that you didn't have a treaty with.
Sure.
Let someone, let you and your brother fight it out.
Then your dad comes home, she takes it out on air.
It was usually us that started it.
Me and my brother.
It was usually me, to be honest with you.
No.
Yeah.
Listen, I can't see that.
I mean, I'd look at it as it was me.
I would start something with my brother, or we would start fighting about
something,
and then there was always, we'd drag them into it.
We'd get the USSR and the United States into it.
See, I never had that luxury.
You didn't.
I had to fucking, I had to shoot the fade with Danny,
and there was no parent coming to save you.
Because, listen, we get home from work, or we get home from school,
it's the summer, or whatever.
She's gone.
She's gone for a couple more hours.
So it's like, if we get in a fight at 3 p.m.,
she gets home at 7 or 8.
I can't ruin her day.
So I just got to keep my fucking, you know,
say I fell down the stairs or something.
There was a summer where me and my brother got into a fist fight almost every
day.
And this is when we lived in Town Line.
And we were around 50, like every day it was like 50 kids, honestly.
Like they would all be running around.
Rats, all of you.
Literally.
We'd be playing football and all that stuff.
And me and my brother would always get into a fight.
And I remember one time we were in this middle field in Town Line,
Town Line Apartments in Bluebell, Pennsylvania.
We were in the middle of this field,
and me and my brother were on the ground just like fighting for like 15 minutes
because neither one of us would let go.
There was like 100 kids standing around us.
And I remember our mailman, Mr. Lupo.
Guy went to high school with his son.
Great guy.
He was our mailman.
You don't have to butter up fucking Mr. Lupo.
He's fucking 98 years old if he's alive right now.
Mr. Lupo, you're listening.
I'm not disparaging the Lupo family.
Great guy.
Sure.
And I remember looking over, and he was just standing there watching us
and like shaking his head.
And I remember we felt like dirtbags.
But it was never those.
Those always all went under the radar.
It was always the holidays or vacation that we ruined.
Yeah, because everything we've talked about,
everything's heightened.
You're fucking the money, the one night.
I've done all the planning for the one thing,
and then your shithead kids screw it up.
Yeah.
That's what breaks you.
That's why there's fights at Disney, fights down ashore, fights everywhere.
I caused a big fight at a gift shop in Cape May, New Jersey one time
because I wanted one of those little ships.
Remember those little fishing ships that were wood that they sold down the
shore?
Not really.
Yeah.
I got into a huge war with my mom over it
and caused trouble in the store and knocked over a bunch of stuff.
I thought my parents were going to break up.
Sure.
Because we were in the car driving.
Remember, we drove past the Coast Guard base down there.
That's why I always have a thing with Cape May.
And I was like, this is it.
I've ruined my family.
Yikes.
Real cool cucumber you are.
Good times, baby.
Most of the growing up, my family had already fractured.
So there was no way.
It's like, what, are you guys going to get back together?
The war was over.
Yeah, it was like we were in fucking peacetime for the most part.
I mean, my mom and dad weren't fighting.
She did a very good job.
They weren't talking either.
No.
Well, she did a very good job of not trashing my dad to us.
Nice.
Same with my dad.
My dad, you know, you'd get, well, you know how you.
The girlfriends, on the other hand, probably heard a lot of it.
You'd get a, sure, yeah, I think so.
But, you know, there's whole, I mean, I don't speak to my father currently.
There's whole factions of my family that are just scorched earth.
Right.
My dad's side.
I talked to a couple of my uncles.
Stay in touch here and there.
I might come to a show.
But, like, not my mom's side of the family.
She's one in nine.
That's your family.
That's the, we still, I mean, they're all down ashore.
Cousin Mikey.
If I had Brendan, got us this place.
Michael.
And if I had to say, the more successful side of the family.
Sure.
I got to give it to them.
They've really.
Got some successful.
You're not, you're not exactly a leader in the family.
No.
No.
You're doing okay.
I'm doing all right.
Got high school kids that are, buy you and sell you.
Sure.
Sure.
A couple of soccer superstars in their family.
Shout out to the Sullivans.
Philadelphia Union.
I wonder if that's kind of where the beginning of our, like, you know,
the subconsciousness of our relationship comes in.
What do you mean?
That you maybe look at me as like a father figure.
No.
If that's the case, can we stop talking?
No.
If anything, we're more brotherly.
No.
Because you have, listen, I've read a lot of these.
You've always looked up to me, which I appreciate.
When was that?
Huh?
I think if you were standing on the curb or something.
I was on the street level.
I had to stay here to look up to you.
Comedically?
What?
Financially?
Financially?
That's how you do it.
Yeah.
I mean, at an early age, before I knew you, you were an elder statesman in the
scene.
I went, oh, look at this guy.
He's running a show.
Cool guy.
Wears a blazer.
Same t-shirt every Thursday night.
It's kind of weird.
Sweating a lot, even though.
The t-shirt with the ladder on it?
Sweating a lot, even though it's fucking February and the heat's not on.
I don't know what this guy's all about.
I sweat a lot.
But, yeah, it's hard to look up to somebody when you just bum nine cigs a night
off them.
You kind of lose respect a little bit.
You go, hey, man, at what point are you going to go run around a corner and
grab a pack?
Look and start contributing to the commune over here.
And then you say that, and then you hit me with, I always have cigarettes,
which is like.
Send you to your room.
you