Name: Choked Out for Defending The Wife's Chicken Salad! | Are you Garbage
Uploaded: 2025-06-16T23:55:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Choked Out for Defending The Wife's Chicken Salad! | Are you Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Choked Out for Defending The Wife's Chicken Salad! | Are you Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-16. Transcript available.

This one's from $10 homie JR.
$10 homie, never had one read.
Before they had their six kids, my mom made a chicken salad for a party at my
dad's family's house.
Grandma and uncle were talking shit on my mom's chicken salad.
That's tough.
And dad got pissed.
It got physical with my uncle, who was on steroids at the time, and choked out
my dad.
Both parents had to leave with their pride shot.
Listen, I've...
Do you bring the chicken salad with you?
That's a...
No, I mean, you're fucking slapping your husband in the face to wake him up.
You're not worried about...
Also, they ain't going to eat it.
That thing's going to be in the garbage disposal, too.
Probably had raisins in it or some shit.
I've been relatively every person in this thing.
Physical?
No, I'm just saying, like, I've been making fun of something I shouldn't have
been making fun of.
There's never...
Has there been physical not with just you and your brother?
Like, at what?
You mean, at church or something?
Um...
You never saw two uncles go at it.
No.
No.
Getting...
I mean, dude.
Getting choked out by your...
The uncle over chicken salad.
That's the whole thing.
It's not over chicken salad.
You're in therapy.
You should know that.
That fight's been brewing for 40 fucking years.
There's a reason I take my shirt off.
We'll get to the bottom of it someday.
Two sessions a week.
Um, yeah.
I mean, that's tough.
I...
You gotta leave, right?
What do you mean?
I don't know who, like...
Also, at the same time...
Your hair's all messed up.
Your face is bright.
Puffing an inhaler reel.
Give me my puffer.
Uh, I think it's, you know...
But they're just shitting on the chicken salad.
If they're like this dumb bitch, you know, that's one thing.
Sure.
But this shit on the meal.
That's not...
That's not a fist fight offense.
That's crazy.
Also, especially if your brother's on roids.
You fucking...
Man.
You make sure that don't get physical.
He felt like that, but he sat down and had a nice meal after that.
He's got his shirt on.
Anybody else got something to say?
Yeah, he's running...
Huh?
He's leaning...
Potato salad ain't that good either.
Leaning out the front door.
Anybody else?
Looking at the neighbors and shit.
Damn.
That's a tough one.
Uh, yeah.
I mean...
That's unforgivable, too.
I gotta...
I'm fighting him again, for sure.
When he's off the juice.
When the cancer sets in.
You get him when he at least...
Fucking hit him in the head when he's sleeping.
That's like...
That's...
Yeah, that'd be tough for me to get over.
I mean, me getting beat up, whatever.
That's happened.
I've bounced back from that.
But trashing my wife's fucking, you know...
Cooking.
That's tough.
You can't all then be in the same room at a dinner.
That will...
For me, that kind of stuff always lingers.
I'll always remember that.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
We always played by the rule of, you know, at like potluck-esque kind of things
like that
with family.
You know, you might have a cousin, you know, exploring veganism or vegetarianism.
Keep it vague.
Whatever.
Sure.
And, you know, there's a side dish that shows up, you know...
A little crunchy.
In a weird Tupperware container.
You know?
They were maybe using glass before anybody else.
That shit.
That's when...
That's a...
I mean...
Phew.
Seeing something in a glass dish in the early 2000s.
Shoot it.
Which is from the future.
Yeah.
You know, you just...
You take a little scoop.
Nah, with that, I wait to hear this.
Chia seeds are great.
What is that?
Beetroot?
I use the stalks, too.
All right.
It's buckwheat three ways, you know what I'm saying?
What am I, a fucking koala?
What am I eating here?
Fucking bamboo shoots.
Eucalyptus.
I remember my girl trying to pitch bamboo shoots to me.
What am I, an auger?
I thought you were a panda.
Eating raw sugar cane.
That's tough.
We...
We're a big family on...
We talk...
Listen, we're talking shit on somebody.
Sure.
Someone's getting trashed.
Your menus are always regulated, too, at things like that.
What do you mean?
There's no...
No.
No, but I'm saying there's no chance of...
Have you ever been to a fucking Applebee's?
That's the menu.
That's what I'm saying.
That's what you're...
You're getting a...
You're getting buffalo chicken dip.
That's what I'm saying.
Niecy will do...
If Niecy's getting wacky, and these...
Now, these have been tried and true for a couple.
I remember the first time she was bringing Easter, I was like, I had to carry
them into
my uncle's.
I almost dropped them just to see.
Bringing what?
They were...
They're asparagus rolled in, like, rye bread with cream cheese.
Apparently, they're amazing.
But I remember, I went...
She was like, grab the tray.
I went, what?
Lady, you're gonna get slaughtered.
There's gonna be a bloodbath in here.
And I was thinking, I was like, we should...
Better be chocolate in this.
We should drop...
I'm just gonna drop them.
Not let them get...
Not make them in the house.
You know what I mean?
God, they look so good!
That sucks.
Make sure the dog runs over and starts licking them up.
But everybody loves them.
You're throwing snow on them.
There's, like, sesame seeds.
I don't even know what they are.
But she makes them once a year, and they go.
But that's about as...
It's buffalo chicken dip, cheesesteak pierogies, you know...
A hoagie dip.
A hoagie dip, a taco dip.
A lot of dips.
Sure.
A big...
That's what I'm saying.
There's never really anything...
No one's taking a swing.
That's what I mean.
No one's taking a swing.
Yeah, I couldn't imagine.
I mean, palate-wise, we're not really there.
My one uncle made hummus one time, and no one let him live it down.
They call him Aunt Mike, you know?
It's a tough...
He made a tahini and a no-bake cheesecake one time.
I thought...
I thought they were...
You mean this wasn't in the oven?
I thought they were gonna riot.
That's how you get salmonella.
You want me to eat uncooked kegs?
Oh, man, that's tough.
Yeah, there's no big...
And even that, he started doing on his own.
He didn't bring that.
We found out he was doing that on his own.
Has anyone in your family, other than maybe your brother,
ever had a Brussels sprouts before?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.
I don't know what a cucumber is.