Name: How Do You Pronounce 'FAGE' Yoghurt!? | Are you Garbage
Uploaded: 2025-06-19T19:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Do You Pronounce 'FAGE' Yoghurt!? | Are you Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How Do You Pronounce 'FAGE' Yoghurt!? | Are you Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-19. Transcript available.

I was in the grocery store, and I was looking at some yogurt.
All right?
Okay.
Popular yogurt brand.
Uh-huh.
I said, hey, why don't we get this to the bird?
She's like, that's not how you pronounce it.
Ah.
Yeah.
Been there, my friend.
Sure.
Our assistant, Luke.
My little Vanna White over there.
You should be wearing a dress.
Show me yogurt.
How do you pronounce that right there?
Because you're never going to get it.
Listen, I am guessing.
I am proper guessing.
Which, when it comes to yogurt, that's where you're going.
Is that the Cadillac?
I'm not a yogurt man.
I'm a Chobani man.
I don't think I'm pronouncing it.
I'm a Go-Gurt.
It's Chobani.
You never got Go-Gurts.
No.
I don't like the texture and temperature of yogurt.
But that was rich kid shit.
That and the string cheese was rich kid shit.
We didn't mess with both.
But they were good frozen.
I know.
You got all that.
Big Go-Gurt household.
Really?
Once you learn to throw them in the freezer, game over.
Delicious.
Did you get that on?
You probably got that on the way to school.
It was in fashion by the time I was around.
Yeah.
Also, you're jealous of a kid 25 years younger than you.
Yeah.
You got Go-Gurt?
What?
How do you pronounce that?
I'm going to go out.
Listen, it's not how I think it is.
I would say phage.
Like, is how my brain...
That's how...
Like, if I'm...
I know that's not right.
I'm not saying that.
What, are you getting a haircut uptown?
That's not my answer.
Give me a phage.
No, I would just go...
Number one on the side.
Well, that page is P-A-G-E.
That's European.
I'm aware.
Let me work through my process.
Go ahead.
It's not phage, but that's what...
So...
Phage out, Kippy.
That could be a new cool word.
Like, cap.
Phage out, dog.
Phage out.
Sure.
That means move, but move thickly.
That's what you do.
That's 4%.
Thick it in a jar of peanut butter.
What?
Never saw that?
That dude is getting arrested.
They're in jail reading the transcript, and he goes,
Did you say she was thicker than a bowl of peanut butter or something?
And he went, ain't that one?
You've never seen that?
But I like, I like, you never saw that?
You know what I'm talking about.
Go ahead.
Might not be peanut butter, but something like that.
F...
For the audio, it's F-A-G-E.
Uh-huh.
That's got to be a soft G.
Them Europeans like a soft G.
They love a soft G.
They love a soft G.
Uh...
I have one, too, that's going to blow your brains out.
I would say F-A-G-E.
Nope.
You ready?
F-A-G-E.
Whoa.
Yes, it is.
No.
No.
Yes, it is.
It's F-A-G-E.
I don't...
F-A-G-E yogurt.
You can clean it up if you do.
That doesn't feel right.
It is.
I always thought it was F-A-G-E.
F-A-G-E.
Yeah.
Fucking bring Kanye into this.
It might be.
F-A-G-E makes more sense.
Say it again.
F-A-G-E yogurt.
F-A-G-E yogurt.
F-A-G-E.
I think it's F-A-G-E.
I don't...
No, you said F-A-G-E.
F-A-G-E.
No, you said F-A-G-E.
F-A-G-E sounds Asian, which I don't think it's that.
Is it Greek?
The Asians don't fuck with cheese, really, do they?
I ain't never been there.
What?
What?
It's never like an option on my general sales.
It's not, right?
No cheese in Asia.
They gotta have something.
It's such a big continent, I would assume.
They gotta get a little pecorino or something.
There's no cheese at a Chinese restaurant.
Or Korean.
Or Filipino.
Or Thai.
Why are you looking at me?
You Google this.
Oh, I thought I pulled it up for you guys.
No, I'm talking...
All right, let's get this.
Oh, cheese?
F-A-G-E.
F-A-G-E.
Yeah!
F-A-G-E.
That says.
F-A-G-E.
Play it on YouTube.
It says how to pronounce...
How to...
On the right.
I tried to get the checkout girl to settle it,
and she made me look like an idiot.
They don't know.
Yeah, they do.
They're in the business.
What are you, running commercials for French TV?
Yeah, what?
We are looking at how to pronounce...
Who's this fucking guy?
F-A-G-E.
F-A-G-E.
F-A-G-E.
F-A-G-E.
So you're right.
I was...
What about BMW?
You're never going to get this.
For what?
What do you mean for what?
How to pronounce it?
Yeah.
In...
Like, what it stands for?
No, to pronounce BMW.
BMW.
Whoa.
I'm married to a German, you bozo.
Whoa.
That's an English car.
BMW.
It's not?
No, it's German.
BMW.
W is vague.
What about the thing where weapons are stored?
A cache.
Damn.
I thought it was cache-A.
I got a little bit of cache-A.
Wait, is that the same word?
I think it is, but no.
If I have cache-A, do I have cache?
I can't.
I mean, you know weapons cache from video games.
That's...
Oh, cache.
Yeah.
All right.
A cache of weapons.
A weapon...
Like, oh, you go to...
That's where I learned it.
I thought I was really going to get you.
No.
You didn't think I'd...
I mean, of all people that you know, I would know BMW.
That's crazy.
All right.
What about Caraco?
Caraco?
Carucho.
How to pronounce Carucho?
I would say Carucho.
Caruso.
Oh, Caruso.
Curacao.
Curacao?
Yeah.
The director?
What?
Were you talking about the country?
Oh, that's a country.
It's an island, which I didn't know until my boy went down there one time with
some...
I'm like...
With some scavats for a weekend.
He goes, I'm going to Curacao.
I said, what the hell is he going to...
You know where I want to go?
Antigua.
Antigua.
Antigua.
Antigua.
You know what I'm talking about?
Luke, you know what I'm talking about?
Antigua.
You know where I want to take you?
Down to Kokomo.
We can get there fast and then take it slow.
Man, I remember when that shit hit.
I was hard hearing that song.
That was all about bonus.
That's when Stamos started playing with them.
I didn't like that.
That was Uncle Jesse.
You don't go double dipping.
He's like an honorary fucking beach boy.
He's got a lot of cash, too.
I didn't realize that.
He's got like an $11 million place out there.
In Hollywood.
Yeah.
I mean, that was 1990 syndicated television.
That was the biggest show in America.
He's probably making, I mean, network.
Yeah.
He's got tens of millions of dollars.
Still a looker, too.
Uh-huh.
Stamos.
All right.
I got one more.
Okay.
Treadmill.
Treadmeal?
Meals?
I like meals.
How do you pronounce the stuff that would come on?
Instead of rice, you get...
What's it begin with?
What do you mean?
Instead of rice, you get vegetables?
No.
Where?
What store?
It would be a health food store.
A healthy meal.
Instead of rice...
Couscous?
No.
I don't fuck with that shit.
Actually, I love couscous.
I remember the first time I had it was at my buddy's house.
His dad was divorced, and he was a spiritual guy.
I was going to say, that's an odd divorce dad.
Listen, my dad was a divorced dad multiple times in his life.
He ain't never thrown out a pan of couscous.
That was the first time I had swordfish.
That's wild.
What is this guy?
What is he, a swinger?
Couscous and swordfish is a crazy divorced dad meal.
I remember I went home and told my mom, she almost took me to the hospital to
get my
stomach bumped.
That's too much mercury.
Dude, it tasted like chicken.
Swordfish.
You ever had swordfish?
I've had it, but not from a divorced dad as a kid.
Yeah.
It was a picnic he had.
He had couscous and swordfish.
Had a picnic?
That's not a picnic.
That is...
That might...
You might as well be fucking the Stanley Tucci program.
Why don't you bring up Tucci?
Fucking Tucci.
Hey, Tucci, why don't you get off Italy's dick?
Quinoa.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's...
I mean, dude, come on.
We live in New York for a decade.
But you're saying it wrong.
It's quinoa.
Yeah.
Quinoa.
Okay.
No, there's an N in there.
Quinoa.
Quinoa.
Okay.
Well, this is...
No, it's quinoa.
No, it's quinoa.
That's not how I have it.
He's got it.
He don't know what he's doing.
Quinoa.
Yeah, quinoa.
Yeah, quinoa.
What the hell do you know, you stupid robot?
Let me see you dance.
Let me see you dance.