Name: When Your Credit Card Declines On A Date | Are You Garbage
Uploaded: 2026-01-30T18:01:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'When Your Credit Card Declines On A Date | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'When Your Credit Card Declines On A Date | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-30. Transcript available.

This one's from Coop, $10 Biggie Bag Homie.
Are you garbage if you, one, enjoy Shamrock Shakes?
Trash.
Love him.
Your card gets declined on a date getting Shamrock Shakes.
Ooh.
That's a tough look.
I respect that move, though.
FYI, it was buy one, get one free, so the $2.47 charge did not clear.
Ooh.
That's bad.
I like the cute idea of, let's go get Shamrock Shakes.
Come on, we'll go get Shamrock Shakes.
Well, you've got to be able to execute that.
Yeah.
Think they made them give them back?
Because I would assume that time of the night, they don't do the two-window
system.
You're assuming drive-thru.
Who didn't go in?
Come on.
You can't make any assumptions on a guy's card getting declined to $2.47.
Nah, I'd say they didn't go in.
If I had to get it.
I would say that's part of the date.
I would say that's part of the date.
Oh, let's go in, we'll go.
It's like, a drive-thru is what?
You're killing $30.
You'd want to extend that out a little bit, I would think.
Maybe.
Make it a little cutesy.
You can't be cute unless you're just knocking boots in a car.
I don't love the foo-foo stuff that they do at McDonald's anymore.
I would love to know what the foo-foo stuff they do.
They do the whipped cream and the cherry.
That's not, I don't like that.
On what?
The burgers?
No.
I'd go over there.
No, on the shakes.
I like the regular old school shakes.
Gotcha.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm not.
Sounds like you're still banging on the shakes a little bit.
Seen them?
Commercials?
Sure.
$2.47 decline is tough because it's pretty good because you can go fraud charge
or something.
Because no one doesn't expect you'd have $2.50.
There's something wrong with the chip.
There's got to be something.
If it's $60, that's more believable that you don't have it.
I now do the move of, let's see if this goes through.
Man, that is a, I've done that.
That's my move.
Hold on, let's see if it goes through first.
Yeah, I've been having trouble with that one.
Try this one.
Traveling a lot.
Traveling a lot.
Rich guy like me traveling a lot.
I got a lot of magnets on me.
I work in magnets.
I work for 3M.
He said D.
That's what I tell people.
I work for 3M.
I work over at the 3M plant.
A lot of magnets.
They're demagnetizing your card?
Yeah, they're demagnetizing my card.
Don't you hate that when you're checking in a hotel and they're like,
don't put this on my asshole?
Where else am I going to put a credit card size card?
Yeah, that happened to me a couple of times the last time we traveled, which
was weird.
You work with magnets.
The 3M plant.
I'm sure we have the 3M plant.
Jam me up.
I'm a senior shift.
Did you think when I said traveling that the credit card key did it?
The magnet from the room?
Okay.
I wasn't.
No, I just meant because they're traveling.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
People travel a lot.
Yeah.
You shut down.
Yeah.
Show me that.
It was overseas.
Yeah.
I was in Turkey.
Jam me up.
Turkey?
Nah, Greece.
Greece.
Yeah.
But I was in Turkey and then went over to Greece.
I had to do some business over there.
Uh-huh.
And then stopped.
I had a lot of business.
I worked for 3M.
I worked for 3M.
I'm actually their main guy over there, closing all the deals.
Shift supervisor.
Oh, in Turkey and Greece?
Yeah.
I just hop in at the plants and check in on them.
Uh-huh.
So I have a lot of magnets around.
We have a lot of magnet technology coming.
Here at 3M.
Yeah.
I can't talk about it.
We get jammed up.
Actually, it's probably 3M who canceled my car because I'm talking about all
these magnet
projects.
No, they wouldn't do that.
Okay.
That was a fun yes-and-you-got-rolling there.
I mean, no.
You don't know how the business works.
Yeah, apparently.
Apparently shift supervisor.
But if my car gets a client, that's the reason why.
A lot of magnets.
Definitely.
I have some on me.
Guy in magnets, you got to have magnets on you.
That's right.
Friends and family discount.
Don't tell anybody, I shouldn't be giving you this discount.
I can cancel your card right now.
It's already canceled.
I'll be traveling.
I just canceled it.
I have magnets in my brain.
That's a new thing 3M's doing, putting magnets in your brain.
Okay.
I genuinely think you might have magnets in your brain at this point.
And you're slowly becoming senile.
I keep sticking to the refrigerator.
Nothing on that?
I stick to the refrigerator?
Uh-huh.
That's where magnets go.
Oh, okay.
Gotcha.
That's funny.
Yeah.
I was trying not to make a fat joke.
Why?
Fat guy stuck to the refrigerator?
What do you mean?
Why?
I don't know.
Honey on the handle or something?
Keeps our honey in the refrigerator?
I said on the handle.
What do we do?
We're all honey.
You're supposed to make that up.
Is that true?
No.
Do you ever see that?
I'm just trying to win this fake bit we got going on.
Did you ever see the thing, the way you test to see if honey's real?
You take a little bit of it and you put it in like a saucer.
Okay.
You put, I don't know, like that size honey.
What kind of life do you think I'm living where I'm testing if honey's real?
And you put water over top of it and you go one way and you go the other way.
And if it forms a honeycomb, that's real honey.
It's called memory.
It remembers where it came from.
Or it could just be the water going back and forth that way.
Could have been a fake video you saw too.
Yeah.
But I saw it at the 3M point.
Could have been AI.
Do you remember when he tried to tease out, yeah, I was looking at this thing
behind a
Walmart in Jersey.
There's like this beautiful waterfall.
And it was like, somebody's like, this is clearly fake.
You will buy.
You are like, AI's going to get you if it hasn't already.
I got a couple of catfishes on me right now too.
Get me.
Man, some of that AI though, fall for it.
100%.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
This is AI right now.
Is it?
Well, that just scared me.
I got to be honest with you.
I'm sleep deprived.
That just got me.
What'd you find out if I was AI and I never existed?
And you were in here talking to yourself the whole time.
Yet the show was still a hit.
Huh?
I can't even get myself there.
I'm too tired to do that gymnastics of what that would look like.
I'm real.
I'm not magnet.
By the way, I do have to tell you something.
I don't work for 3M.
What?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Just a bit because my credit card didn't go through.
Yeah.
Now that we have said we do, I do have a disposable income.
I am less, I take it less personal.
I go, oh, try, something must be wrong here.
Whereas when you don't have it, you really.
What?
You got to be kidding me.
This is bullshit.
I'm going to sue the whole company.
You and 3M.
Go get Ronald McDonald.
I need to speak to him.
Hamster stole my wallet.
I have $17 million in that account.
Sir.
I was always big on it.
It's a gift card.
I just deposited.
I just put in.
I just put in.
I just put 50 grand in there.
Yeah.
A check just cleared.
Uh-huh.
Come on, give it to me.
I'm on a date.
Guys, come on.
I'm trying to fuck this bro over here.
He might have not known.
He might have known there's a chance of it not going through.
If it's $2.45, you're down to that?
And then they were also buy one, get one.
Yeah.
That's a cheap date.
You know what you did.
But that might be a good deal breaker.
Or, sorry, a good ice breaker.
Let's see how the Broad reacts when I got no kidding.
Luke's shaking his head.
But listen, a guy who's got $2.47, you're not.
I'm sure that Broad's card, she's not dating fucking the shift supervisor at 3M.
You know what I mean?
She's dating guys who's.
The card might not go through.
Yeah.
That's where these guys hang.
They met at the bar.
They went to see.
They're not.
That's a ride or die lady.
That's what I'm saying.
If she stuck with them.
Maybe she said, ooh, you're gross.
Okay.
Guys heard that before.
I wrote that one.
I wrote that one.