Name: Is It Trashy To Help Your Parents Light a Cigarette | Are You Garbage
Uploaded: 2026-02-04T19:00:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Is It Trashy To Help Your Parents Light a Cigarette | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Is It Trashy To Help Your Parents Light a Cigarette | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-04. Transcript available.

Is it garbage to hold your parents' steering wheel and drive while they light
up a dart?
Extra credit if it wasn't a dart but a pipe.
Extra credit if it wasn't tobacco in there.
How you doing?
That's, I mean, listen, I'm no fucking saint.
That was always big, though.
Holding my dad's steering wheel was big.
When you got the right to do that.
Hold the wheel for a second.
It was always big if he had to get into his pocket.
Because he wore a tight set of dungarees.
So he had to, like, you know, do that and, like, get in there.
So I would grab the wheel.
I liked, and he didn't need me to, but he'd be like, you know, you can grab the
wheel.
Your brother did it first, though.
Yeah, I was always in the back.
Yeah, they were, like, they might as well have been, like.
The same age?
Yeah, the president and vice president, you know.
I was in the cabinet in the back with a dog fighting over begging strip.
Yeah, no, yeah, for sure.
I was in the back.
That was a big brother thing.
Gets to hold the wheel from my dad when he's lighting a heater or something
like that.
Never a bowl, though.
That's crazy.
Yeah, that's, I mean.
The smoking weed in front of the kids.
That's crazy to me.
I never understood.
I come from, like, you know, a big drinking family, which obviously is, you
know, arguably worse than smoking weed day to day.
Yeah, when you look at it, it really is.
It really was apples and oranges.
What do you mean?
Like, I remember one buddy's dad smoked a lot, but he was a successful
businessman.
He was, like, very spiritual.
You know what I mean?
Fucking hippie.
He's hippie.
Draft dodger.
He's hippie-ish.
Not draft dodger.
Hippie-ish.
Draft dodger.
Never drank, though.
Never.
I never saw him drunk once.
Never had beer in the house.
Never booze in the house.
Mm-hmm.
You over to my house.
I'm drunk right now.
Like a 7-Eleven.
Yeah.
Going to that garage fridge.
Yeah, I don't, uh, yeah, I don't, we never, I mean, I, I, you know, I would say
my dad definitely experimented pretty heavily through the 60s and 70s, I
presume, like most people.
Sure.
Um, but then, like, that was, like, I remember somebody accused him of smoking
weed.
He's like, that was fucking decades ago.
Like, he was, like, it wasn't even, like, a lie.
He was, like, fuck, he's smoking weed.
I haven't smoked weed since, like, you know, 81 or something like that.
Um, but the booze, it was just, to me, it was, booze was so regular, and weed
was, like, that's crazy you're smoking weed with your parents.
To, like, just in the world, I, the perspective of it that I came up with.
Yeah.
They, my family would be more likely, like, oh, you're 15, grab a drink, than,
like, you're 21, I'm gonna smoke a bowl with you.
Yeah.
Just, like, a little dirtier.
The way it smelled when you didn't know it, like, when you weren't used to it.
I remember smelling it at my grandmother's house when my cousin had bought the
house.
This was probably, like, 83, something like that.
And, like, a neighbor's a couple houses down were sparking one up.
Uh-huh.
I remember being like, god damn, what the fuck is that?
And how do I get my hands on it?
And how do I let those ruin my life?
I told you, we were, like, 16 or 17 at a friend's, at a girl's house, and she
was smoking weed in the basement with her family, and I had beers in the trunk.
I went up to get the beers.
I was like, oh, we're fucking partying.
You know what I mean?
Like, we're vibing here.
Start taking the mom's bra off.
There you go, honey.
Come down with a blender.
Pina colada.
And I remember being like, oh, I'm going to drink.
You got a bowl?
You're dropping your keys in there?
I'm passing it around.
Just my Lumina key.
I remember they were, it was warm Milwaukee's best.
Sweet.
And I was like, yeah, we're, like, we're partying.
We go down in the basement.
This is the first time I really hung out with, like, there was, like, dudes
there.
Adults.
Yeah, but, like, not cool adults.
Like a guy, like, guy on the couch type shit.
Like, oh, that's Randy.
He's not really the parents' age.
He's older than the kids.
If the parents are 55 and the kids are 18, he's, like, 32.
It's like, where do you fit in here, Randy?
Probably weird sex stuff.
Whatever.
I was like, we're vibing.
I'm going to have a couple of pops.
Everybody's, like.
When you say smoking weed with her parents, like.
Like ripping bangers.
Like passing around a zong.
A zong.
You remember a zong?
Of course.
With her parents?
Yeah.
Not just Randy?
No.
Dude, it was me.
My two boys, Justin and Justin.
Uh-huh.
This girl, Jean.
Uh-huh.
Both of her parents.
Then these two dudes.
In a basement.
So I go, oh, I'm going to go.
Finish basement?
Yeah, not great.
Finish basement.
Friday night?
Weeknight?
Friday night.
Or maybe this summer.
But, like, we're not.
We don't, you know.
It might have been.
I was probably in high school.
All right.
Me and my boy go out to smoke a heater because there's no heaters in the house.
I respect that.
Yeah.
Smoking your zong.
And I get up.
So I go, oh, I got fucking, I got 12-pack in the trunk.
You know what I mean?
It needs to come correct back in the day.
I grab my beers.
Throw them on ice in the house.
Yeah, whatever.
I mean, I'd probably throw them in the fridge upstairs.
Or have a fucking smoking weed with a parent.
I'll do whatever the fuck I want, lady.
I'm going to start going through your underwear drawer.
Call 911 right now.
Yeah, what the fuck, lady?
Blow this whole thing up.
So I come down.
Dude, I walk down the stairs like I'm fucking, I'm the king of the fucking
castle.
Your warm beer?
Crack a beer.
Yeah, you're done.
She's like, we cannot allow that at this house.
I said, lady, you're high on drugs right now.
I'm not taking a hedge off with a beer.
I mean, you got my money taped to your tits right now.
With all due respect, you fucking work for me.
You know what I mean?
What the fuck?
Yeah.
And made me feel like the fucking, I bounced.
I said, I'm going to go smoke another cig.
Fucking dusted my boys.
So I drove home drunk.
Fucking dusted my boys.
I said, you find over there.
She ain't going to fuck either one of you.
I was here because I had nothing else to do.
They were both trying to fuck her.
The mom?
No, the girl.
We were friends with a girl.
She went to another school or something.
I think we worked with her.
I forget how the fuck we knew her.
I wasn't.
I walk into this fucking hippie house.
I was like, you might as well be hanging out with Jerry Garcia.
Fuck that.
I said, my mom would call the police right now if she knew I was smoking
fucking.
And I didn't even smoke weed.
I'm trying to, we're all vibing.
You might as well be doing heroin, lady.
Yeah.
You're smoking bongs.
You're a mom fucking pulling a fucking cap out and clearing a zong.
And you're, you got the bullet.
I come down with a glasses of you on block.
You treat me like I'm a criminal.
Well, I felt, I felt judged and I didn't like it.
And I wanted to be like, lady, this ain't even decriminalized yet.
At no age are you allowed to, let alone with children.
And who the fuck are these to?
The fuck's fucking Randy and one-eyed Jack over here.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.
I'm not going to be like, man.