Name: The Most Dangerous Thing We've Purchased at a Flea Market w/ Dan Soder | Are You Garbage
Uploaded: 2026-02-06T19:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Most Dangerous Thing We've Purchased at a Flea Market w/ Dan Soder | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Most Dangerous Thing We've Purchased at a Flea Market w/ Dan Soder | Are You Garbage' from Are You Garbage Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-06. Transcript available.

This is John with no H.
What's the most dangerous thing you ever bought at a flea market?
That's a great question, dude.
Great question.
I don't know how that's never been asked.
A sword or a knife.
So most of the things that I buy, I like an old knife.
Very cool.
I like an old, I think I've bought a couple old knives at flea markets.
When I used to go, so my stepdad and mom, when I was a kid,
were obsessed with the Mile High Flea Market.
Okay.
Is it big or small?
Huge.
There's nothing like a city that has a great flea market.
Huge.
Mile High Flea Market, the logo ruled.
The logo was real cool.
It was a flea.
Andy Warhol did it.
It showed full nudity.
Full frontal nudity.
No, but the Mile High Flea Market, we would go every Saturday.
Oh, great logo.
Great.
The little guy?
There he is.
Yeah.
Oh, that's sick.
He's a flea and a checkered shirt with a pair of overalls.
It's like Johnny Chimpo.
Look at this guy.
So we used to go.
Open all year round.
Dude, and it was, we'd go all year round.
We do weekends.
Saturday.
We're going.
Saturday morning, you go.
I mean, now they got like, they'd have like a little place town, but you would
go and
just walk around in the amount of swords and knives.
Crazy.
And old f***s I picked up.
Unregulated.
Unregulated.
And the amount of f***s that I could just find my way to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where I'd be like, well, I'll look at it.
And the guy's like, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And my mom and stepdad were always like, I was maybe like nine.
Mm-hmm.
They're like, all right, just try to find us.
Yeah.
There wasn't like, yeah.
Just go.
Because I would go looking for action figures.
Like old action figures that you'd buy for cheap, which plenty.
Yeah.
It was great.
Flea markets f***ing rule.
I love them.
I grew up going to them.
I f***ing loved them.
I loved like the, as a, whatever like moment in time, because I'm sure you can
kind of,
with the internet, you can kind of get whatever you want at any point.
But there was things you could only get at the f***ing flea market and you
couldn't get
to like, so it was like, hey, next month, where ours was called Rices.
It's like, next month we're going to Rices.
And you're like, you thought about, yes.
You're like, hey, you're telling your boy.
It was Amazon before Amazon.
It was like, everything from Amazon was used.
It was used and slightly broken.
Yes, and illegal.
I remember being like, I want to, I was like in middle school and I was like,
we were walking
by a place and there was a heavyweight bag.
And my stepdad was like, I could chain that up in the basement.
And I was like, can we get a heavyweight bag?
And he's like, f*** yeah.
I was like, no rules, man.
And then it just rocks the house.
You would like move it.
Good dog.
And you could just upstairs here being like, wow, wow, wow.
That's the most stepdad s*** I ever heard.
I could chain that up in the basement.
Yeah, and he did.
Dude, he bought, my stepdad was the man.
Shout out Nick Kotz.
He, I hope, I hope you're safe.
I haven't talked to you since I was 14, but he's the man.
He's like 82 now.
Jesus.
He bought us a pool table because it was cheap.
Love that.
And he was like, that thing's made out of slate.
And my mom and him were like, well, that means it's good.
But then we had to get it in the basement.
So heavy.
And we had an unfinished basement.
So if you wanted to play pool at my house, there was no room and it just
smelled like cat piss.
But flea market.
All from the mile high flea market.
Two things.
One, side note.
I used to prefer sometimes getting an action, an older action figure,
especially a G.I. Joe, because they were loose.
Yes.
And they would do dead better.
Yes, they would.
Or they would do like a crash better.
Yes, they would.
Yeah, if you had a guy with a loose neck.
He always got it first.
He's dying first.
He's dying first.
He's the first one through the door.
He would slump over.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
The look of where you go, I toss them.
Yeah.
And you go, if his tank blew up, that's how he would look.
Yeah, it's like you're directing a movie.
Oh, man.
Finding action figures.
Also finding, because like you said, you can find everything on the internet.
There would be, there was this show in the 90s called Cops.
C-O-P-S.
Stop.
Yeah.
It's on Tubi.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Those action figures.
Awesome.
Were the best.
The dudes, the came out of his chest.
Yeah, there was the came out of the chest, but also the articulation.
They were big G.I. Joes.
Yes.
So they were made exactly like G.I. Joes, but the articulation.
So I remember being at the Mile High Flea Market and coming up on a blanket on
the ground
with all the Cops figures.
Whoa.
And I went, how much?
And the lady was like, five bucks.
Yeah.
And you're like, and that ride back, I was like,
Keith Ledger in Dark Knight.
I had my head out the window.
I was like, dude, that was to this day.
Great pull day.
When you say Flea Market, I go, I remember the greatest day of my fleet.
The Cops.
I found all the Cops stories.
I had like one or two, but I found like the guy with the blonde hair flat top.
I found the black cowboy with the jacket that you couldn't find.
I didn't need their weapons.
That show ruled.
Show ruled.
And those action figures were some of the best.
I remember a specific feeling of I bought a blow dart.
Great.
Right?
Great.
With like spiked, like they're like dark.
That's pretty dangerous.
Very dangerous.
And I was, I don't know, eight?
Yeah.
Something like that.
Like we went, my mom and my sister walked around.
Me and my boy Matt ran around.
We were like, we're going to find the guy that sells the weapons.
And he's like, I got these.
There's multiple guys.
Yeah.
And he's like, I got these.
And I was like, oh, I'm getting a.
I had like 20 bucks.
I had like a $20 bill.
I'm like, I'm getting a blow dart.
And I didn't have enough money.
It was like $28.
And he's like, I'll do it for 20.
Gave him the 20.
And I remember walking back to the car and my mom.
Not knowing.
And I'm like, I can't hide this.
I thought it was a baton.
I was just like, this is going to be a big conversation, but I'm showing up
with a blow dart.
And how did it go?
She was all right.
Really?
She didn't care.
She's like, be careful.
Dude, then at one point, we'd all stand back to back.
There'd be like six of us.
And you'd just go up in the air and shoot it up in the air and play chicken.
The last person to run.
People would catch it in the shoulder.
That's how Ralph Ciparato's kid got hurt.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Ralphie.
Oh, yeah.
I was doing it back when I was banging, baby.
Dude, I remember I bought a BB that looked like a gun and it was a CO2 one.
Those were dangerous.
And the first time I shot it into the fence, I went, well, we're not playing
with that.
Like, even as a teenager, I was like, that's – I put the CO2 thing in and
then when you twist it and you hear it break.
And then I had the clip on top and I went –
I had that same one.
And I was like, that's – it was like a lot – I walked up and it was lodged
in the fence.
Yeah, rounding yourself.
I'm not doing that.
That was a difference.
I knew which friends not to let – no, I haven't.
Oh, for sure.
You're like, dude, Tim, we talk about this a lot of like, to know, to make that
decision of like, you're not a good – you're not a really good kid, but you're
not a really bad kid.
And you go, really bad kids would run amok with this.
Yes.
Really good kids would give it to their parents.
I'm going to hold it.
I'm going to be in the grave.
I'm going to hold it under my bed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then when a friend I trust says –
We'll show him, yeah.
Scott's not seeing this.
Exactly.
Scott's not seeing this.
Byron might.
Yes.
And even Byron was on the fence if I would show him that.
The way we call it is not really being about that life.
I like to do bad s**t, but I also want to go home and have dinner with a glass
of milk.
Play with your guys.
So that's who McDaniel and I were in our group of friends.
Same with us, yeah.
Where we were like, we were hanging out with the bad kids.
You can walk in both worlds.
And then you go, I'm going to go home.
Yeah.
I'm going to go home.
Before you guys do this B and E, I'm going to go home.
Yeah.
And you go, Mike has Sega Channel.
We're going to go play that.
Yeah.
But good luck with everything.
My mom still packs my lunch.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I give her a kiss goodbye.
Those kids were going home to a cold can of beer.
Yes.
I got tubby time in 15.
We got to wrap this up.
Yeah.
Yeah.