Name: Bill Burr & Nia [ANIMATED] - Nia UNLOADS!
Uploaded: 2022-02-17T20:30:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia [ANIMATED] - Nia UNLOADS!' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia [ANIMATED] - Nia UNLOADS!' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-17. Transcript available.

A bit of advice here. I need a bit of advice here. I feel guilty as, uh, I feel
as though
I am the friend. Uh, Jesus, let me start off. I feel as though I'm really
having a rough
time. I'm really having a rough time here. I feel as though I am the friend
that breaks
up romance. I feel guilty that I am the one who caused problems to the
relationships of
my guy's friends. I'm not sure what it is, but I think my friends talk to me
more than
they talk to their women and jealousy develops. Oh my God. Let me finish. Purely
factual.
I know I was better looking than them. Wait, but I wouldn't say I'm Megan Fox
either. I
have been compared to Katy Perry. I guess she's pretty too, but whatever. Uh,
no, she really
wrote that and I butchered it the way I read it. Uh, now I'm in a situation
that I don't
know what to do with. Two of my friends guys seem to be flirting with me all
the time, saying
things that I see as a guy would only say to his girlfriend. Uh, I'm not really
a flirty
person. I'm a good listener, but talk a lot. So conversations are never dull.
Is it me or
does that just say that she dresses like a fucking hottie and stares it towards
sex? No, I'm reading
the rest of this. Yeah, just read the rest a bit because then I want to, I want
to unload.
Chime in. I want to, no, I need to unload. Okay. I was told twice after my
friends broke
their relationships off with their girlfriends that their girlfriends were
jealous of me.
But what do you expect? Of course, we're going to have our inside jokes and
lots in common.
I have strong friendships and have known my friends usually longer than they
have known
their girlfriends. It's not convenient. I actually am pretty lucky when it
comes to guys. I'm always
treated like a princess, which I adore, of course, partially because I'm not a
horny slut who
chooses hot guys who are assholes just to fuck. What? The downside, I'm not
making this up. The
downside of it all is I always feel bad about the whole situation. So bad about
the whole,
about the whole situation. So I never get into relationships myself. So I
thought I would
ask you for your viewpoint in addition to my girlfriends. What's your opinion?
Should I draw
myself back or go with the flow and then see what happens? Uh, PS, I know your
answer is going to be
rude and biased, but it's okay. I get a kick out of it. What does that mean? Uh,
go with her? What?
What is that last sentence she said? I think she's talking about, uh, she said
back off, go with the
flow. I think she's talking about, I can't tell if she's talking about letting
herself go to get into
a relationship or if she should back off, uh, her guy friends when they have,
when they have
girlfriends. You know what? Okay. I have this to say to this girl and I'm going
to refer to this person
as a girl because only a girl would be so blatantly narcissistic and manipulative
and then have the
balls to act like she doesn't understand why the other girls don't like her.
Okay. You know,
it's like, you know exactly what you're doing. What is she doing? You're being
a manipulative
little narcissist. It has to be the center of attention and the other girls
know that you're
doing this. That's why they don't like you. So they're not jealous of you. They
see exactly the
kind of girl that you are. And let me guess, let me guess, let me guess. You're
the kind of girl
that like, I don't really have like a lot of female friends. Cause like girls
are bitches and
like will backstab you. So I just like hang out with guys and have like a beer
or whatever. Cause
I don't care. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're one, she's one of those girls.
And the reason that is,
is because you are everything that most women hate, but you're too dumb to
realize that you are the
one that's doing it. Let me guess. So you hang out with all these guys,
your guy friends that are like confiding in you and being oh, so flirty with
you.
You're, you're hanging around this guy, but I have a feeling that you suck out
all the air out of a
room anytime you're around. So whatever girl they're around immediately hates
you because we hate women
like you. And you're throwing around enough of a whiff of pussy to have them
follow you around because
in typical guy fashion. Some of them are just too fucking stupid and they're
hanging on to this hope that you're
actually going to fuck them. And you're doing this because you, even though you're
a narcissist,
you have all this self-loathing. Like you don't feel like you can get a good
guy and I'm not buying the,
I'm really lucky with guys. They treat me like princess and I adore. So why
aren't you in a relationship?
Why don't you have a boyfriend? Why are you always hanging out with other
people's boyfriends?
Why don't you get your own man? Jesus Christ. And back the fuck off. I, I hate
women. I hate girls like this.
You would get an applause break on every talk show. Oh, you needed to end that
with me. You need to get
a job. I cannot stand girls like this. So let me, let me ask you this. Okay.
This is the most
ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I like how she casually throws out how she,
oh, I'm no Megan Fox,
but I have been compared to Katy Perry. Bitch, please.
All right. Nia, everybody taking care of that topic. Let me, let me just, if I
can just try to just,
if, if she walks into a bar and okay, she's already in the bar. This is what I'm
picturing. She's
already in the bar or she shows up. Like if the guys are like, oh, me and my
girlfriend are going
down for a fucking brunch. We're going to watch the game. She comes down, looks
extra cute,
extra fucking hot, has her tits hanging out. Of course. And then deliberately
does the inside jokes.
Yep. To show that she's closer to them. She's that girl.
Oh, absolutely. She's totally that girl. And I'm sure she's, you know, I'm sure
she's borrowed
one of their t-shirts and wears them to one of these things. Yeah. Well, it's
like, oh my God,
I totally forgot. This is your t-shirt. You left over my house that time. Yeah.
Okay. That's what
I thought. I see. See, we'll see. You know what? I can't even believe that the
nerve that, that,
that email was even written. Well, this is the thing. How you trashed her was
basically the angle
I was going to trash her, but I don't have your insight as a female. But what
was great about that
was it just would have been back to back me trashing a female. I would have
come off like an
asshole. That was great. You actually, I feel like, uh, I pulled a little
sinister move there.
I got you to do my dirty work. Oh, is that what you think?
That was tremendous. You really, you really, uh, yeah, it really got me going.
My blood was
kind of pumping. I would say you, uh, blew the pubes right off her little
landing strip that,
you know, she's accidentally showed with her loose fucking shorts.
Thank you.