Name: Bill Burr - Not So Great Wife
Uploaded: 2022-04-07T11:13:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Not So Great Wife' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-07. Transcript available. Click "JOIN" and become a premium subscriber. Thanks for watching.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Not So Great Wife' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-07. Transcript available. Click "JOIN" and become a premium subscriber. Thanks for watching.

wife claims to be great but is actually the worst oh boy here we go here we go
we're going in going
getting in quick here um buildo that's probably not the first time you've been
called that no it
is not but since you like to be called offensive things i do i'll start there
well thank you i'm
writing since you seem to be rather forward in your advice instead of taking a
nice guy approach
i'd like to know what i should oh wait a minute wait a minute here we go oh it's
not playing
why i want to play i gotta get a fucking someone in here it's time yeah hey
that's me sorry if that was too loud
somebody else all right asking me for advice always a dangerous thing always a
dangerous thing
i'm not a licensed professional i'm a fucking jerk off but here's my two cents
um i did watch i did watch v for vendetta at one point i did see that movie i
have seen that movie
uh i'm writing you since you seem to be rather forward but i've been with a
woman for 10 years
we're married with one seven-year-old boy who is the absolute apple of my eye
early in our marriage
it became very obvious that she didn't contribute much to the household we
lived in a one-bedroom
apartment and i did most of the cleaning because she never bothered to do any
of it do you realize
how many guys are in this situation it's this weird thing where feminism told
them that oh you're on
you're making the guy a sandwich and you clean it up and what are you his
fucking slave
you know which i say is all well and good as long as you then go out and get a
fucking job
and you're bringing money into the house then i don't have you problem cleaning
up as much but if
you're making half the fucking messes you should be cleaning up half the
fucking messes um
i paid all i paid all of the bills because if it was left to her to do it we
would have
have late fees every month on all bills we both worked so she was tired at the
end of the day and
never cared to cook this is understandable but at the same but at the same time
it's frustrating because
she always brags about her amazing cooking skills i know and you worked all day
so you're tired too
uh within a few months after the wedding she almost stopped having sex with me
oh wow dude at this point 10 years later it's limited to about once or twice a
year
she's also basically let herself go she was about 135 pounds when we were
married but she's probably over 200
now for some that might not be a ton but she's only five two after about a year
of this marriage disaster
i wanted to let her go but her dad came over to attempt to work out our
differences i decided to
give it another chance then he got pregnant right i decided to give it another
chance within a few weeks
after this conversation she got pregnant and i was obviously not happy about it
yeah i wonder how that
happened um she probably pulled the goalie on you there she promised once she
became a stay-at-home mom
that behavior would be different she's she'd start to clean more cook more go
to the gym but of course
none of that ever happened having a discussion about her lack of effort never
goes well she'll sleep
till nine and just watch youtube most of the day wow dude this laziness even
occurs after 6 pm and puts me in
the spot where i must take care of our boy or nobody else will i walk him to
school every morning and
put him to bed and read to him almost every night the effort she puts in to
raise our boy is atrocious
dude this is depressing on top of all this she has lied to me about her
clothing purchases for years
she's also started a business using my social security number without any
discussion she has
proceeded to charge cards to a balance over a hundred thousand dollars despite
my attempts to stop it
well dude you're not you're not trying hard enough what is she holding you down
punching you in the
face taking the cards take the cards away from her she has said that she wants
a divorce
but i have asked for us to work it out every argument she pushes it again i'm
starting to
think it's the right move but i'm terrified for my little boy and his needs i
know she won't take
care of him as needed courts usually side with the woman i'm also scared the
courts will make me pay
her business credit card balances on top of child support see ladies listen to
this guy's story
she's truly the worst wife that ever existed but says i'm only i only point out
her worst traits
honestly is there a good trait i struggle to find any her cooking too little
evidence to conclude
hoping for a decent response from a responsible cocksucker like you
wow dude
if she was like half a decent mother i would just say i mean everything points
out you just
got to walk away from this person you got to walk away if the kid wasn't
involved you walk away
and who gives a if they put the 100 grand on you okay if you stayed with it
would become 200 grand
all right um so now all i got to do is if you're going to stay or if you're
going to leave
all right if you're going to stay you got to take her credit cards away from
her that's it
all right you have to start having ultimatums all right and she has to get her
fucking shit together
this is it dude you do you need ultimatums here i'm taking away the credit
cards and you have to get
your shit together or this isn't going to work out and that's fucking it that's
it because you are literally
a prisoner in this relationship granted this is just your side of it but this
is pretty vivid
so um i might talk to a lawyer before you have this conversation and just see
if there's a way to
prove that she's as bad as you're saying that you would get custody um
because reality of what you have going on here dude this is a divorce where you
want you want
to go for full custody um and if that's what you're leaning towards i would go
to a lawyer first
without her knowing and find out what evidence you need to prove that you
should at least get 50
of being with your kid because here's the thing too you don't want your kid not
your kid still loves
her mom unconditionally so um you sound like a great dad you sound like you're
you know you're
out there you're earning money you're not doing anything wrong you're putting
up with
a ridiculous level of childish behavior um it sounds like you've sat down and
tried to talk to her it
you know what dude i would get out of this i'd get out of this because she's
just because what's
going to happen is she's going to end up having 300 grand in credit card debt
and then she's going
to put that on you and then try to get custody and all of this shit um
i don't know or maybe try to give her one more chance but i would talk to a
lawyer first find out
what your options are so you can play this as perfectly as you can um i'm
hoping in the in
the future court systems will realize that the guy the guy is not always the
the person that's wrong
in a relationship and it isn't always best for the kid to be with the mother um
i understand why that is
you know watching my daughter how she reacted to having a baby brother and just
their instincts is
fucking incredible but like that doesn't mean that there's not selfish sociopaths
or
fucking pieces of shit that happen to have vaginas out there um all right so
that's what i would do
sir i would go talk to a lawyer and find out what my fucking options are and um
you know the other option is you just hang in there to your son's 18 and then
you just
just pull the rip cord and get the out but by then dude by then how much money
in credit card debt has
she racked up you know then there's a diabolic side where you just you
encourage her to keep
eating and you hope she drops of a heart attack there's a lot of options here
none of them friendly
you