Name: Bill Burr Fatties at Work (Fatphobic)
Uploaded: 2022-04-13T20:31:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Fatties at Work (Fatphobic)' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Fatties at Work (Fatphobic)' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-13. Transcript available.

fat phobic dear billy backbreaker i'm a 28 year old white male living in ohio i've
been single
for nearly four years now congratulations i consider myself to be an active guy
rock climbing
going to the gym is this like your tinder fucking bullshit you're sending me i
like to rock climb
go to the gym cycling etc anyways i used to be overweight at 250 pounds and
over the course of
a year i was able to get down 172 pounds and maintain that due to the activeness
and eating
a plant-based diet good for fucking you sir making me you're inspiring me good
for you man
what a great thing you did my situation is this i have some ladies that have
expressed their interest
in me however the majority of them are overweight and have no self-control when
it comes to their
diet and exercise i'm not attracted to bigger women which puts me in a
difficult situation
when they very openly flirt and invite me out why you're not attracted to them
that's totally fine
and it's totally fine to not be into overweight people i don't know why you
have to pretend that
you're into people that you're not into so the person you know eating the
fucking drake's cake
can feel good about themselves what about you there's still a victim in there
okay and considering
being out of shape is curable for most people i'm not saying it's not a disease
but for most people
they do what you do plant-based diet they get active and it fucking falls up
plus considering you
were a fatty this is like an alcoholic you know who got sober you're gonna go
hang out with an
alcoholic i guarantee you'll become a fat fuck hanging out with them all right
and then where
you're gonna be you're gonna be laying down if she tries to ride you on top i
hope you got enough
to fucking still get it in there you two bellies slapping together you don't be
part of that do you
uh the ladies can turn down men no problem but when a man turns down a lady
some of the ladies i work
with and they're close friends i've known for a year some of the ladies i work
with and are close
friends i've known for years why the fuck would you date them anyways they know
that i've been single
for four years honestly i am picky and i've also learned to be happy after
multiple bad relationships
dude you are fucking crushing life right now don't fuck it up by dating some
fatty that you work with
because society is telling you that you're not progressive if you don't anyway
so when i deny a date
request or don't flirt back with them they say that i'm fat phobic
is this what this has come to
um like if some fat fucking man-titted douche came walking up to them pressing
his
dick up against them that's what the fuck they're doing to you
sticking their fucking clam in your face smelling like a jim dandy sunday at
friendlies right then
what the fuck fuck off i'm not fat phobic i just weigh 172 pounds and i know
that i can get a better
fucking cut a meat i'm sorry i didn't mean to go that mean i'm just saying
because that fat phobic
pissed me off all right you should respect everybody just say listen um i used
to be fat like you
and i started rock climbing why don't you rock climb okay or at least maybe
just stare at a bunch
of rocks instead of eating rocky road ice cream every fucking weekend maybe uh
i'll throw you a bang
every once in a while as dice clay says i'll throw you a bang yeah dude can i
tell you something right
now this fucking woman's movement thing is completely out of control it's
completely out of control they
are not all of them but so many of them are everything that they're fucking
preaching
that they don't want guys to do to them okay there you know you have the
absolute 100 right
to date whoever the fuck you want to date you have the right to be as shallow
as you
fucking want to be you can date for looks for 10 fucking years if you want to
before you want to
settle down and get serious you know and if you wait too long you're going to
pay the price but it's your
life don't let it this is this is your life dude you're going to date some
fatty and you don't want
to just so what those cunts at work will look at you in a better way i i wouldn't
do that just be like
yeah my dance card is full all right this these are the measurements i like and
i'm not ashamed of it
okay that's what i find attractive as do you can i tell you something all of
those women at work if
they could be the size that you find attractive would be you know what i mean
and they ate their
way into that position it's their job to eat their way out the same way you did
so you had to get on a
bike you had to climb a bunch of rocks you had to do all this now you're you're
in game shape right
you're in kobe bryant shape and they're showing up like shack and they want to
try to play their way
into shape remember kobe used to always give shack for doing that yeah fuck
that anyways he says i've
never pointed out their weight but when i have openly expressed interest in
other women while
talking to the other guys at work the women start to shame me all right dude
you know what i was on your
side until you said shame what what the fuck happened to what happened to
people
they shame you you just fucking laugh at them saying that i only like bones and
twigs
um i get along with everybody so i never strike back well that's your problem
with anything in fear that i might be taken to hr for god knows what in days
also having denied some
of the women they've gone as far as to not speak to me as much and tell other
female co-workers how
horrible of a man i am leaving them to have bad attitudes against me just
because i won't date them
um dude what do you look like burt reynolds what the fuck's going on here i
would uh yeah listen this
is the deal women go to hr guys just laugh at it so just laugh at it dude you
know what i would do i
would be overly friendly to the ones that hate me you know morning sue you look
lovely today
kill them with kindness and then i would bring the most smoking hot fucking
chick you can find
to the fucking christmas party that's what you got to do anyways he says it's
true i'm not
not attracted to bigger women that's fine there's nothing wrong with that but
women sit around all
day talking about guys having to be this tall have this facial hair wear these
clothes but when a man
has any sort of criteria we get shamed dude stop saying that okay being shamed
is totally within your
own power at the age that you're at okay if you're a fucking teenager or
younger i get it all right but
at some point you got to be comfortable with how you look okay you got to get
comfortable with yourself
and then someone can't shame you unless you actually did something shameful
yeah if you kick the puppy
across the room you know what i mean you don't want to be comfortable enough
with yourself that you can
handle the criticism and have it not affect you you should feel shame all right
anyways because i'm
writing to hopefully get your take on the matter and hear what you would do in
this situation i will never
see desiring a fit healthy person who cares about their body as a bad thing no
you shouldn't and that's
something that all people should aspire to be fit and in shape healthier than
they were yesterday as
much as you can you know obviously the aging process you're getting older every
second one step closer to
the grave right but you know in the meantime yeah uh thanks for all the good
laughs you and nia are
the friends i wish i had in real life that's so nice have a good day and go
yourself yeah dude
and by the way that goes for women too goes for women too all right um
yeah date what the you want to date and if you want to be shallow
you know and dish date hot people then just do that see what that's like
it's up to you i don't understand you know what i mean like the you know what
you have at work dude
you have a bunch of busy bodies you know and there's these people out there
that want to be
the person to say i introduced this person to that person um oh dude i swear to
god man i swear to god
you find the hottest fucking chick you can fucking find you can fucking find
take her to the goddamn
christmas party and by the way let her know what's up let her know what's up i
would i would i would
tell some fucking i would tell some hot chick that whole fucking story and you
know hot chicks love
being hot nothing that they would make them feel hotter than to go down there
and have a bunch of
women look at her and just hate her because how fucking hot she is there you go
find that chick maybe
she's into sports too next thing you know you guys are running the country not
the country the company
that's perfect oh it's a fantasy but maybe you can make it happen sir um good
luck to you
uh good luck to you and uh and that's it and by the way there's plenty of guys
out there that like big
women you know what i mean it's plenty it's it's up to you to be happy with
your own body
all right i'm telling you i'm telling you just have a salad have one salad a
day start working out
read up as much as you can on nutrition try the best you can to eat the best
food you can which is really
difficult you know it's all you can do then other than that leave people alone
and let them date who
the fuck they want to date um all right that is the podcast uh for this week go
fuck yourselves
uh