Name: Bill Burr animated - 1 HOUR compilation
Uploaded: 2023-04-11T16:53:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr animated - 1 HOUR compilation' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr animated - 1 HOUR compilation' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-11. Transcript available.

Bill Burr animated - 1 HOUR compilation

Uh, underrated. Advice going into 40, slash advice going into 40. All right,
underrated.
Your 30s. Bill, I am the happiest I've ever been, and I think it's because I'm
in my 30s.
Look at that, people. Everybody in your 20s who don't want to be in your 30s.
Here's something
positive. I don't care what people say. I'm 100% into my own shit these days. I
wish I focused more
in my 20s and wasn't such a dummy. No, no, that's what your 20s are all about.
Your 20s are all
about making mistakes. Your 30s, you look back, you figure it out, and guess
what? Your 40s are
even better. You just keep fine-tuning it, you know, until you're like 70. And
then that's why
everybody loves a fucking cool old man, because if you did the work throughout
your life and you keep
trying to be a better version of yourself. Oh, wait, didn't somebody say that
the other night at
an award show? I wasn't even that much of a dummy, and I still say that. I
wasted a few years at a job
that I knew I didn't care about. Well, who doesn't do that? I had a girlfriend
and we loved each other,
but it doesn't matter because when you're going in one direction trying to
pursue a dream and she's
going in the other, it eventually snaps. Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with
that because
if you didn't go after the dream, there's a very high percentage that you would
eventually
resent her, you know, and then you take it out on her and then it dies. Or you
don't resent her,
you put it on yourself where it belongs, and then you're just depressed, and
then she leaves you because
you're just a fucking, you know, wet blanket to hang out with. I don't know.
You got to go after
the dream. Anyway, I think if I can hold on to this through my 40s, 50s, and so
on, then I'll be
really happy. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. You do that, and then you're not
afraid of dying. I don't
mean you have like a death wish, but you really just look at death that it's
going to be this peaceful
thing, and it's going to be this great release, and be thankful that you were
alive and got to live
and did the things that you wanted to do. You know, if you're lucky enough to
live into your fucking
old age, I think that you handle it with grace. That's, I mean, at the very
least, I mean, that's
the fucking attitude to go into it with because it's going to happen, right? I
don't know. That'd be a
funny fucking masterclass. How to die. Anyway, as a guy who had an amazing run
in his 30s,
how did you keep it going? Oh, me? I had an amazing run in my 30s? Dude, my 30s
were tough.
Those are rough ones, but I think I was a sort of unique case of, my case was
special. I was really,
really, really, really shut down in my 20s and into my 30s, so my 30s is when I
became my angriest
because what I wanted, what I really wanted was to be married and have a big
family. That's what I
always wanted, and I didn't know how to do it, so I thought going on a stage
and acting like an idiot
and getting people to like me that the girl of my dreams was just automatically
going to walk up to
me like, wow, I saw your show. You're really funny. Do you want to get married?
And I'd be like, okay.
Like, that's literally, I mean, that's a simplistic version of how it was going
to be in my life, but what I
was really doing was I was, you know, not working on how antisocial and how
much of a loner and what a
fucking walled off protected place I put myself in, so, you know, how did I
keep, how did I get out of
that is more of the question is, I don't know, I just started going to therapy
and I started working
on myself, and I also kind of like, when I looked at shit that I wasn't happy
with in my life rather
than blame other people, I was trying to see how I was contributing to it, and
then, I don't know,
once I started thinking positive, I really think that I started to go back to
who I was before all the
bullshit that happened to me happened to me, and I don't know, it's like you
see that light,
and then you're like, oh, fuck, and you just start running towards it, and now,
like, I don't know,
after being super negative and depressed and all that, now I'm on this other
place where it's just
like, if I feel that shit, I'm hypersensitive to it, and I just know what I got,
go play drums,
you know, you know, go to the gym, you know, go play with my kids, you know,
take the family out to a
fun shit that, you know, I can look forward to, and I immediately can get
myself out of it,
and I also got rid of a lot of fucking, you know, other damaged people who
weren't working on
themselves, that's the big thing, if you're a damaged person, I mean, I'll
forgive you for that
shit, but if you're not working on yourself, and you're fucking taking your
childhood out of me,
I'm out, so, you know, that's another good thing when you get older, is you're
able to fast forward
through relationships, because, you know, you met that type of a person before,
and you're just kind of like,
oh, I know what this is, and I know how this ride goes, and guess what, I'm
getting off before the
ride even fucking starts, that's the best, that's the best. Seeing X, need
advice. Hey, Billford,
I'm a 20-year-old guy, and my girlfriend of a year broke up with me a couple of
months ago.
I'm starting to get over her, and we go to different colleges, so I think it'll
be easier
to move on, but we have the same friends, and I know we will go to the same
hangouts. For example,
my buddy's birthday is in two weeks, and she's going. Should I go up to her
first and talk to
her like she didn't kick my heart in the ass, or should I just say hi and sort
of ignore her
to the party. Thanks, and have a nice day. Now, this is what you got to do.
All right, she dumped you, so you didn't want it to end. She did, so you're
hurting more than her,
is how I would probably guess how this is going down. So, I would just, first
thing I would do is,
am I friends enough with this person who's having the birthday that it's worth
putting myself in a
position, okay? If it isn't, then just don't go to the party. If it is, if the
person is important
enough, then when you go there, I would absolutely say hello to her first, you
know, just say good to
see you. I hope you're doing all right, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No need
to be weird around me,
whatever, all right? And then I would just go about and have a great fucking
time. I would limit my
drinking that night because you don't want to make a dumb decision because if
you go there and you say
hello to her first, you're totally fucking cool. How people work, when they
break up with people,
if the person's clinging, the other person goes, oh my god, thank god I'm out
of it. But if they look
like they're getting on with their life, even if the person just got done
dumping them, for some
reason, they'll try and hook up with them. You don't want to hook up with this
person again.
I would just be totally cool. Go to the birthday party. I would not drink at
this thing. That would
be a great move. You stay sober. This is what you want to be. You don't want to
be fast Eddie,
all right, from the hustler. Remember that? I would be totally nice to her, say
hello, be totally cool,
and then just drink club sodas the whole night and then when it feels like time's
right, it's starting
to get to that point where everybody's getting wasted. You leave and then that's
it. That's how
I would play it. God damn it. I wish somebody gave me that advice.
Or it's just like, I know it's going to go great, but I'm sick of like waiting
to do it. Let's just,
let's just do it. You know? So I think I've been a little on edge here. You've
never been having a
great time. I bought a Patriots fitted hat, um, the other day and like it just
quickly escalated
into the fact of like, you know, if I say one more thing, I'm actually going to
have to fight this guy
and he was like six, five, 300 pounds. It could have swallowed me like a
fucking Komodo dragon. So
once again, I just had to like not say anything because I'm five, 10, one 80,
54 fucking years old.
You know, it just started off so innocently. I was like, Hey, do you have this
hat in seven and
three eights? Do you just have seven and a quarter? And he came walking over
and he starts sifting
through and he hands me a hat and it was seven and a quarter. I said, no, I
said seven and three
eights. And the guy was just like, uh, he goes, no, you didn't. I go, yes, I
did. He goes, no,
you didn't. I said, I said seven and three eights. And he goes, I know what you
said.
You said seven and a quarter. And then it's just fucking escalated to this
ridiculous fucking
level. And I just had to sit there and just be like, all right, he's way bigger
than me.
He can beat the fuck out of me. And I just have to fucking take this. Right.
And then I, I like for
half a second, I was like, I'm not going to buy the hat. Like he gives a fuck,
you know? And then
what? Then this guy's a douche. And then I also don't get the hat I want. No,
fuck that. I'm going to get
the hat. And then I just walked out and I was so fucking pissed. Like the, the
way I got past my
anger was thinking to myself, like that guy's not going to be alive in 10 years
at the height he is
and the weight he is. Cause he wasn't muscular. He was fat. So I was just like,
you know what? He'll
be dead in 10 years. Okay. I just wish I had the ability when he said, you said
seven and a quarter.
I, even though I knew he was fucking wrong, I should have just been like, Oh, I'm
sorry. Oh,
my mistake. Oh, did I? I'm sorry. Sorry about that. My mistake. I guess I don't
know. You know,
I guess I don't know. I'm ill. Sorry, my kids are downstairs. I said more of my
fucking hat sizes.
I guess I don't know what that is. And I guess you do, you fat fuck. So, uh, so
I spent a couple
days here. As you can tell, I'm fucking on edge here. I just really just want
to do this fucking
show. I just want to do the show. Just do the fucking show. All right. Anyway,
I saw another funny
thing. Uh, on Instagram, the lead singer at Danzig was saying that, you know,
if punk music started now,
it would never even get off the ground because of woke and cancel culture.
Right. And then all these
young people like, Oh, all right, grandpa, you know, all of this shit, just trashing
the guy.
And then be like, Oh, have you ever heard of this band? Oh, so there you go.
Right. And, uh,
I just got a kick out of all of it because, you know, I am, I am an old guy.
And then also,
I love when young people trash old people. I just always cracks me up. And then
I also like that
young people like me think that one day when you get to be my age or the guy in
Danzig's age,
that you're not going to be saying the same shit. When I was a kid, they used
to kick field goals and
you just have to have a sense of humor about it. I think that that's just, just
something that happens
to you. And, um, I got to be honest with you, but if you're young and you
listen to this, don't ever
be afraid of getting old, man. It's actually, if you embrace it, it's fucking
awesome. It really is.
And, and dressing your age and all of that shit. Like I was talking to my buddy
and he went to
something recently and he was saying, uh, this is the one, especially when you
become a parent,
this is one of the worst things you could ever, the most cringy thing that you
could do
is this guy was trying to be the cool dad, you know, the dad that despite the
fact that he had a
kid, he was still fucking cool. Right. And, and there was some guy, he was at
some birthday party,
my buddy. And he said, there was a dad there that had his hat on sideways, you
know, like how rappers
used to do it back in the, uh, like flavor, flavor, some shit like back in the
eighties, like as a dad,
like he's at a, he's at a fucking kid's party. He's got his fucking head on
sideways. And what's
funny to me is it's like, you know, this isn't about you. Can't you just let
your kid be at the
party? Do you have to try and steal focus? Like, oh, who's that? Who'