Name: Bill Burr - 18 YEAR OLD MAN MARRIED TO A 30 YEAR OLD WOMAN
Uploaded: 2024-08-22T17:34:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - 18 YEAR OLD MAN MARRIED TO A 30 YEAR OLD WOMAN' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - 18 YEAR OLD MAN MARRIED TO A 30 YEAR OLD WOMAN' from Bill Burr Animated on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-22. Transcript available.

Advice for young marriage. Dear Bill, I love your stuff, yada yada. I'm in a
pickle.
I married when I was 18 to a 30-year-old woman. Get out!
Get out immediately.
If you're wired like a man, get out.
A woman has more sophisticated wiring than a man, so she can be 12 years
younger.
All right? I don't know if they're more sophisticated, but different things
motivate themselves.
What am I saying? Motivate them. All right?
They're motivated by different things other than, look at the tits on her.
All right. I don't...
All right. So when you're 38, she's going to be 50.
All right? And you're going to walk into the bedroom.
I don't know. That's...
Maybe I'm not mature enough to do that.
Why am I superimposing my shit onto your shit?
Why don't I just read what you have to say?
I'm sorry. That was a real selfish moment there.
All right. This guy's in a pickle.
I'm married... He says, I'm married...
I married when I was 18 to a 30-year-old woman whom I deeply loved.
I didn't get to that point. I'm already telling you to leave.
I'm sorry, sir.
Anyways, he goes, I had low self-esteem then.
I used to play World of Warcraft, be lazy, and have a beard.
I am 23 now, and I still love my life, but my life has changed.
I'm fit, clean-shaven, and more successful.
Therefore, women are showing interest in me at last.
My wife is getting older, and I still like her a lot and find her attractive.
But the age gap coupled with her bad PMS is starting to affect me.
Yeah, and that's not going to get better, sir.
Like, and she's still young.
I already know where I'm going to go with this.
My wife is kind, fun when not having PMS, and a good mother.
Oh, you have kids?
Uh-oh. Wait a second, dude.
When I am around hot 18 to 25-year-old women, I feel like I cannot control
myself.
So far, I have controlled myself, but I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.
What do I do?
My wife has seen the conflict within me and sympathizes.
She sometimes says that I can have some fun with other women if I tell her
first.
But I don't know if this is true or is a honey trap.
I don't know what that means.
My wife is honest, but when emotions get in the way, I don't know how she will
behave.
Do I secretly cheat when I have a good opportunity to get away with it?
Do I talk to her about some freedom?
Do I leave her before the time bomb explodes, or do I knuckle down and masturbate
myself into submission,
having lower self-esteem and missing out on fun, but being a better husband?
Wow, dude.
I applaud your honesty.
Listen, you have to do what's right for you at the end of the day.
I don't know if you have.
Are those kids your kids?
I don't know, dude.
Look, I'm not trying to blame her, but what kind of a 30-year-old marries an 18-year-old,
man or woman?
All right, you're a fucking kid.
She's a woman.
She married a fucking child.
I know legally you're a man, but you're not.
And that goes to the same thing if a guy, a fucking 30-year-old man marries an
18-year-old.
Like, I don't know how that's fucking legal.
Even though the woman is legal and she is a woman, she's a fucking child
compared to a 30-year-old.
All right?
And just the mental fucking tennis, just how much further, that's a huge amount
of time in your life.
All right?
If you're 50 and your wife's 38 or you're 50, your husband's 38, that's a
different thing.
Okay?
30 to 18 is huge.
I mean, you're talking like she's almost twice your fucking age.
12-year gap, you've only lived 18 years.
What is she, three-quarters your age?
Come on, you mathletes.
What is that?
All right.
I don't know what to tell you if you already have kids with this woman.
I don't know what the answer is.
But if those are her kids, you're 23, so you've been married five.
She's 35.
She still has a chance.
She's still young.
She can still go out and meet somebody more around her age.
Dude, you got married too young.
You got married way too fucking young to somebody way too old.
That's what I think.
That's just what I think.
But I don't have the feelings you have for this woman.
All right?
This is just me on the outside looking in.
I am a commitment foe.
I am a psycho.
And I am a piece of shit when it comes to fucking women.
All right?
And I've earned that in spades, believe me.
So take what I'm saying with a grain of fucking salt.
All right?
You're talking about a 45-year-old guy who never got married and fucked up
every relationship he was ever in.
That's what you're talking to right here.
Okay?
So I just know what I wanted to do when I was 23 years old.
And I was also, ah, man.
I mean, like, 18 to 23 years old, you're supposed to be out there experiencing
being young and all that has to offer.
That's what you're supposed to be discovering about yourself.
Okay?
Now, however, if you married this woman and you had kids with her, you do have
a responsibility.
And that's a whole other can of worms and a can of worms that is not in my life
yet.
So I don't know how to advise you on that.
All right?
You know, there are some things, you know, some things in life you do miss out
on.
And sometimes you get this other great thing, but because of that great thing,
you don't have enough time to enjoy this other thing.
So you might be in that situation.
If you have fucking kids, I would say ask somebody else who has kids.
Ask somebody else who's in your boat.
But, look, if those are her kids and you got married at 18 and she's 30 and now
you're 23 and she's 35, I don't know what to do.
That whole fucking, I don't know what to do.
I would say get out.
I would say get out.
That's what I would say.
I guess that's what I am saying.
But I don't understand whether you have kids yet.
I don't know if you have kids with her.
And I don't know how.
How deep is your love for that woman?
How deep is your...
I don't know, you know.
I don't have enough information on that one, sir.
But my gut's saying that you should shove it off the buffalo.
I feel, you know what?
I feel irresponsible on that one.
I don't know that I gave you good advice, sir.
I would ask around more.
So there's a jump off point.
My ignorant thoughts.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.