Name: Dave Letterman Emmys 9-21-86
Uploaded: 2015-03-18T03:43:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Letterman Emmys 9-21-86' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-03-18. Transcript available. Dave segments co-hosting the Emmy Awards 9-21-86.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dave Letterman Emmys 9-21-86' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-03-18. Transcript available. Dave segments co-hosting the Emmy Awards 9-21-86.

And here to visit with us from "Late Night," the co-host of the Emmys, David
Letterman.
Ah, thank you. Try to get a nap, all right?
Thank you, um...
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
And while we're thanking people, I want to thank Beacons for delivering the
statue.
Thank you very much, folks.
And, of course, thanks to Lee Iacocca for raising the money for the restoration.
It looks great, doesn't it?
But, uh...
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Dave Letterman,
just one of hundreds of lucky Americans who have their own talk show.
Thank you. So...
You know, right after the dance number...
And, by the way, we'll try to get that door sequence straightened out.
But right after the dance number...
I saw something that I thought was, I don't know, kind of cute, kind of tender.
Walter Cronkite and Joanne Worley were standing in the corner making out.
And, you know, I just...
And isn't that what television is all about? I think so.
So, um...
I have a couple of announcements here that I would like to make.
Tonight's program is being telecast to 150 million people around the world,
such places as Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Singapore.
And, uh, NBC wanted to take this opportunity to remind our foreign friends that
the smash hit American television program, Helltown...
It is now available for foreign syndication. So, um...
Also, if present trends continue, ABC is thinking about offering 2.9% financing.
And finally, finally, ladies and gentlemen, anyone interested in hosting the
CBS Morning News...
Applications are available at your nearest post office. So...
You know, it's, uh, uh, very exciting, uh, here in Pasadena tonight.
And I was told before I came out here that apparently now there are almost as
many limousines here tonight as there are at the John Gotti trial in New York.
So that's...
Um...
You know, whenever I walk around the streets of New York, uh, people come up to
me and they always say the same thing.
They say, "Regis, what is your..."
What is your favorite moment from, uh, last year's television season?"
And, uh, you know, for me, everybody has their own personal favorite, but for
me, it was the night that Ed Asner was a guest on "St. Elsewhere."
And, uh, what drama. It was incredible.
They spent the first 45 minutes of the show shaving Ed for surgery.
Gosh, I, I thought that was...
Tomorrow night, uh, program reminder, the regular season debut of ALF.
And if you don't know about ALF, uh, a quick synopsis here.
Uh, he's a mischievous space alien who, who crashes through a family's garage
and, and then moves in with them.
And, uh, uh, I guess it's apparently based on an actual incident from Shirley
MacLaine's autobiography.
So we're...
A couple of fingers crossed for that one.
So, so anyway, if you get a chance to watch the program tomorrow, I think, I
think you'll enjoy it because ALF, turns out the alien, uh, like most aliens,
he, he wins the California lottery.
So take a, take a look at that if you can.
Uh...
Uh...
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, in this list, I have, uh, all of the winners for
tonight's awards.
So I, I could wrap this up in like three minutes if you want.
No, no, I actually have in here a list of my top 10 reasons for being the co-host
of the 38th Annual Emmy Awards.
Here we go.
Number 10, to see if prime time is all it's cracked up to be.
Number nine, a chance to towel off Shelley Long after the dance number.
Number eight, a chance to towel off Shelley Long after the dance number.
Number eight, a chance to towel off Shelley Long after the dance number.
Number eight, a chance to towel off Shelley Long after the dance number.
Number eight, a chance to towel off Shelley Long after the dance number.
Number eight, a chance to towel off Shelley Long after the dance number.
Number nine, a chance to towel off Shelley Long after the dance number.
Number eight, a good time to kiss up to the new guy from GE.
Number seven, to see if Joan Collins is all she's cracked up to be.
I can always use the frequent flyer mileage.
Number five, maybe I can talk some sense into Philip Michael Thomas.
Number four, wash immediately with soap and hot water.
I'm sorry, that's a different list.
Got in there.
I thought the mood would be right to hit on Bea Arthur.
Number two, those little crab cake things at the Governor's Ball.
And ladies and gentlemen, the number one reason I am co-hosting the 38th Annual
Emmy Awards.
Bill Cosby said no, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Ladies and gentlemen, let the games begin.
Thank you.
There's a lot more to come.
It's a very exciting night.
We have a live hookup to Chicago.
And I'm telling you, the second, immediately he finds anything, we'll be
cutting directly to Geraldo Rivera.
So that'll be coming up later.
Also, the Emmys continue with Michael J. Fox, Ally McGraw, Joan Collins,
Raymond Burr, Shelley Long.
All of that right after this.
Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to ask you now to check your ticket stuff
because some lucky audience member gets to give Bob Barker a lift home tonight.
So look forward to that.
Also, stay tuned for John Rivers, Linda Gray, and Tony Danza on the 38th Annual
Emmy Awards.
Okay.
Now let's enter an amazing world of furry hand puppets, laser guns,
professional wrestlers, and talking mice.
No, no, not a party at Robert Stack's house.
I'm talking about...
I'm talking about children's television programming.
Yes, children's television programming.
Where would our young people be without it?
Perhaps out in the fresh air getting some exercise, but that's just a theory.
Anyway, it's good to know that there are quality programs for our children to
watch.
And it's also good to know that these fine plexiglass lecterns can accommodate
more than one person.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I am delighted to be giving this award for Outstanding Children's Program
because, among many reasons, I happen to have a little daughter at home who
will soon be watching television.
And I think it's nice to know that she can truly expect to see some very
special programs.
You'll be watching along with her.
I might even be watching with her, that's true.
I know, I know, but you all look a little older, too.
I'm only here, actually, because Dave Letterman is a great friend of mine.
We're neighbors in Connecticut.
And I've been so worried about the youngster, and helping him with his material
this week,
that I have not thought much to say for myself.
And he's done so well, and I'm so proud of him, so you'll understand why I've
kept it so short.
I only use these for ad-libbing, incidentally.
And I'm asked to give an award for the Outstanding Writing in a Variety or
Music Program.
God knows, without writers, we would all look like Marcel Marceau.
And so I am proud to mention, first, Sylvia Fine's musical comedy tonight, "Three
Great Performances."
Late Night with David Letterman's Fourth Anniversary Special.
The 1986 Tony Awards.
The Tonight Show, sorry, Johnny Carson, guests David Letterman, Maureen McGovern,
and Adela Rivera.
And, uh, the American Film Institute, salute to Billy Wilder.
And the winner is...
Well, you better clear the aisles, and take care of the children and the women
here.
It's David Letterman.
in the state of the...
Ladies and gentlemen, the Vienna Boys' Choir is also...
Who are you now?
I'm Steve O'Donnell, the head writer.
Of course, of course I've heard of you.
I want to say thank you for everybody up here.
The Academy, thank you very much.
And with so many people up here, you probably think there's no one left in New
York for us to thank.
But I want to thank a great director, Hal Gurney,
our hard-working friends, Adam Resnick and Maria Pope,
all the great people in our office and in the studio,
and NBC for all the free coffee and...
Oh, and especially thanks to the guy who's the reason we're all here
and why work is so much fun, Dave Letterman.
Thank you. Thanks very much.
I just want to add a couple of names of this:
Brian McAloon and Ed Hall and Sue Hall and all of the friendly folks at NBC.
And Brandon, don't worry, by gosh, we're not going to be third for much longer.
And also, I want to thank my family in Indianapolis and my attorney in Indianapolis,
Ron Elberger,
only because it will really confuse him.
Okay. Thank you very much.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's getting to be that time of night, we have an
announcement here from the Red Cross.
Anybody here who feels like they need a hot meal or a shave, please contact Usher.
And don't be a hero about this, all right? Because better safe than sorry.
Thank you.
Coming up, Diane Carroll, Robert Wagner, Dick Van Dyke, Henry Mancini, John Lovitz,
and the Zimbalists, Father and Daughter.
This year's award ceremony happens to coincide with another broadcasting
milestone.
It's the departure of Grant Tinker, NBC's chairman and chief executive officer
since 1981.
Grant, you've made a terrific contribution not only to this network, but to all
of television.
Your commitment to quality was an example for all of us, and good luck to you.
And if you need anything to help you get back on your feet, don't be bashful.