Name: Pete Fatovich on Letterman, early 1982
Uploaded: 2015-10-28T22:36:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pete Fatovich on Letterman, early 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-10-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pete Fatovich on Letterman, early 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-10-28. Transcript available.

Folks, thank you very much for coming tonight.
Here you are at NBC here in New York.
This is Studio 6A.
Right across the hallway over here, Studio 6B,
is where Milton Berle started many, many years ago.
This is perhaps one of the greatest studios around
for a television audience.
This is the best you can do.
We've got a show for you tonight.
All the way back here.
You're really going to enjoy it.
I'm sorry, sir.
I can't believe it.
We've got some great, great guests for you.
David will be out in just a second here.
We can see the show better at home.
So just stay with us and watch everything that goes on.
What are you supposed to do?
Sit here and look at television?
We could have stayed at home and watched television.
We didn't have to come off here.
Hope to have a good time with us, all right?
Is that David Letterman?
See what's going to happen on the show.
What kind of an outfit is that?
He looks like he's going on a safari.
Shoot lines or something.
And do one or two things for me.
Watch that applause, sir.
That's it. That's it.
What is this?
They have to tell you to clap?
What if I don't feel like clapping?
What are they going to do?
Come up here and arrest me?
Look, there's gum underneath this seat.
There's a lot of people that are doing this program.
And there's no leg room.
My knees are killing me.
Nice carpet.
Where did they get it?
Fire sale?
Look at that.
Fifty people standing around doing nothing.
A man comes in and sits behind a desk.
And he has to tell all those people just what's happening around here.
Okay, here we go.
Ten seconds.
Stand by.
It's about time.
Here we go.
Okay, now it's on your mark.
Stand by.
In five, four, three, two, one, tape.
That sound of music?
That sound of music.
Why can't they pick tunes like everybody knows?
Misty, Blue Moon, Stardust.
Now on.
From New York, the Los Angeles of the East, it's late night with David Letterman.
Tonight, world welterweight champion, Sugar Ray Leonard.
Comedians Fred Willard and Sandra Caron.
Owen Thomas, a man who came back to life.
And a look at some of Dave's other showbiz distrust.
And now, here's a man who has just signed a four-year, multi-million dollar
contract with the California angels, David Letterman.
And a look at some of Dave's other showbiz distrust.
And now, here's a man who has just signed a four-year, multi-million dollar
contract with the California angels, David Letterman!
That's him?
Thank you very much.
A young guy like that is close?
Welcome to the show.
My name's David Letterman.
Who picks out his clothes?
A rich guy like that can't even afford to tailor.
Before we begin the extravaganza, let me tell you about something.
If you're planning a trip to New York City, here's something that's going to be
a lot of fun.
Make your studio much more enjoyable.
Everybody in New York City does this kind of little contest.
Go to a busy intersection, stand on the sidewalk, and try to guess which cars
will actually stop for the red lights.
It's a lot of fun, and we have assembled quite a show for you folks tonight.
Sugar Ray Leonard will be joining us in a couple of minutes.
Some guests.
A fighter is a guest.
Comedians Fred Willard and Sandra Karen are here tonight.
I never heard of them.
Never heard of them.
This gentleman who is a fascinating individual.
He's on the cover of New York Magazine this month.
Owen Thomas will tell you more about his story a little bit later.
And also a rare look at some of my other show business activities.
Before we do that, we're going up into our studio audience and visit with the
folks who have come here this evening.
How do you do? Nice to see you.
This is a lovely group of folks.
You know, I think they have it all rigged up.
Is it you?
Yeah, I really do.
Hi there.
What is your name?
This is all set up.
They use actives.
Do you mind standing up?
You think they talk to actual people?
Where are you from, Chris?
You've got to be kidding.
What do you do for living?
That's probably his cousin.
Sell contact lenses.
Sell contact lenses.
Is that a lot of fun?
No, it's boring.
Boring.
So you're here to drop off a resume?
And it's always the same questions.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, we're always out of contact lenses upstairs.
I should have stayed home.
So we'll see what we can do.
Could have gone to a Broadway play.
Thank you very much.
Nice meeting you.
Okay.
Thank you.
Anybody else here have any questions?
Yes, I have a question.
He won't ask me.
Yes, I have a question.
Go ahead.
Stand up, sir, if you will, please.
Yes, sir.
What is your name?
Earl Stahara from Yonkers.
Yes, sir.
How do you spell that?
It's S-T-O.
No, no.
I mean Yonkers.
It's Y-O-N-K, I think an E, R-S.
Okay.
And what do you do for a living, Earl?
I'm a carpenter, but right now I'm not too busy.
Yeah.
And what is your question?
Well, I was wondering, when you do a show like this, do you have the whole
thing, do
you make up the whole thing yourself, or do you have a writer, or like a couple
of writers
and they make the things up, or do you have the guests make up their part, and
you make up your part, or do you make their parts up too, and you just get
together with them and a couple of writers, and you all make it up together,
and then you split it up later, or do you set it up first, and then they just
work out later?
Yeah, I was wondering, I'm sorry I asked the question.
Yeah.
You inhale a lot of sawdust in your line of work.
Gee, I'd love to spend some more time talking with you, Earl.
Thank you very much for being here.
We have to pause.
Now, coming up next, Sugar Ray Leonard.
Thank you, folks.
Son of a bitch.
Oh!
No wonder they don't charge for tickets.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Welcome back to the show.
We have Peter Davis, a gentleman who has produced documentaries, the most
recent of which I guess is Middletown, currently running on PBS.
This is going to take some explaining.
Listen to this before Mr. Davis comes out.
One of the surprise movie hits of the season is a film called My Dinner with
Andre.
It consists of nothing but the conversation between two men over dinner in a
fancy New York restaurant.
Well, as it turns out, NBC purchased the rights to the film with the intention
of turning it into a miniseries, but they ran into one problem.
They forgot to sign Andre.
They tried to get other famous riveting storytellers, but everyone they
approached wanted too much money except a guy from our office, Pete Fadovich.
Pete was willing to do it for a free meal, so we went up to the NBC commissary
to film what promises to be the most exciting new 12-hour miniseries
since Shogun, My Dinner with Pete.
This week, something special on the NBC movie.
If you could sit through My Dinner with Andre, you might be able to sit through
My Dinner with Pete.
Hi, Dave. Hi, Pete.
My favorite.
Yeah.
Let's see the tuna fish.
I get a scrambled egg.
Slice of ham.
Perfect.
Ninety cents.
Goodbye.
I love fish.
This neighbor of mine, Jim Murphy, he's got a big boat.
So they go fishing, and we got the fish, and we put the fish in a pot, and you
turn it around.
Yes, a simple dinner in the commissary becomes a three-part miniseries, My
Dinner with Pete.
Army days were funny.
I was in the Army for two years, and I had fun every day.
My friend called him.
He was blind.
Couldn't see.
Take glasses.
We used to be in the shower, and he'd come in and put his towel on a hook.
We'd move it.
We'd never find it.
So we're on the firing range.
You know, you take turns.
You're on one side, and you shoot, and the other guy takes care of the target.
Then when you're finished, you go over there.
Well, I found out, number 25, it's Caldwell.
I gave him all bullseyes.
A week later, sharpshooter.
You'll laugh with him.
And I'm cutting my stick.
And the knife slips off the stick.
Hits the piece.
All the way down the table.
I lift down, and all of us sleep.
You'll laugh with him.
When I was first married, and like everybody, you know, first married.
True story.
I figured, hey, I'm married now, and my wife is going to do everything for me.
I took my socks off, and I left them at the end of the day.
I figured, hey, she'll get into the sink and wash it off a little bit.
Never happened.
But you're going to have to listen to him.
I have a good story for you.
Ever been to South America today?
Oh.
We went there in 1959.
I think we were 60.
22 hours on a prop plane.
Yes, dinner will never just be dinner again after my dinner with Pete.
So, anyway, I used to help them out with the fruit.
I'd go all the way down to the hole and bring the fruit up.
And I'd get grapefruits, oranges.
I used to pass them out to the people who were sick.
And they'd give me a quarter, a few dimes.
I think I made like about $4.50, and I'd pay for the cafe.
You know, from Brooklyn all the way to, uh, I'll go see you.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Hey.
My favorite.
Scrambled egg, slice of ham and whole wheat.
Ninety cents.
Great bar.
You ever been to South America?
You'll be glad it was my dinner with Pete.
Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, right after Little House.
We're going to applause here.
We'll be coming right back with the producer of Middletown, Mr. Peter Davis.
Come on back, folks.
Stop four.
Stand by Adam.
Stand by four.
Here we go.
Five, four, three, two, one.
Dissolve Adam.
Music, Paul.