Name: Late Late Show Post-Oscars Show March 27, 1995
Uploaded: 2015-12-08T05:29:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Late Late Show Post-Oscars Show March 27, 1995' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Late Late Show Post-Oscars Show March 27, 1995' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-08. Transcript available.

Late Late Show Post-Oscars Show March 27, 1995

Ladies and gentlemen, congratulations to everyone.
I've had a lovely evening.
Thank you very much for inviting me.
Good night, folks.
The 67th Annual Academy Awards, brought to you by...
American Express, for life, for living.
Who had the Caesar Salad?
Good evening, folks, and welcome back, everybody.
I'm Tom, and this is the Simulcast.
Up and running now for Oscar night here in Hollywood, the 27th of March, 1995.
On this program tonight, if you have just turned over from the Academy Awards
on Channel 7 here in L.A.
or ABC across the country,
we present Gene Siskel of the popular syndicated motion picture review show,
Bonnie Hunt, star of stage, screen, and television,
and David Steinberg, one of America's most beloved comedians and most talented
directors,
and their review of the festivities at the Shrine Auditorium in downtown Los
Angeles tonight,
which ran roughly three hours and 33 minutes.
Not a record, but certainly long.
Incidentally, this town truly comes to a halt on Oscar night.
Every limousine in Los Angeles is booked tonight,
so if you come into town late and try to hire a car, you can't.
Most cabs are tied up, the hotels are filled, the restaurants are packed,
and beginning at about 4.30 in the afternoon on the west side of town,
it is extremely difficult to get around as people head from their homes down to
the Shrine Auditorium.
And then later on tonight, they'll head to such places as Morton's and Chasen's
on the west side of Los Angeles
for parties honoring the winners and near winners at the 67th Annual Academy
Awards tonight.
It's been quite a day, and we'll try and review some of the highlights with you
as our program goes along tonight.
And thanks to the magic of the toll-free highway, you have a singular chance
tonight to call us later on
and give your own opinions on what you saw at the Academy Awards from Hollywood
on this Monday night.
My true thanks to, and I want to show this tomorrow night, it's really not
appropriate tonight,
but my true thanks to Danny Aykroyd and the people over at Saturday Night Live
and John Goodman for their little,
I really take this almost as a little salute the other night.
I know it was comedy, and I thought it was funny, and I thought it was
extremely well done,
and I smile through it a smile of happiness at knowing that some former
colleagues still recognize
that old Tom is still kicking through the field here.
But as I told so many people when I was interviewed before this program went on
the air,
they always say, you know, what makes you happy?
And let me just share a very, very small story about Mother Snyder, who's 86
years old and living here in Southern California.
And yesterday her son and her granddaughter and her great-granddaughter took
her to Manhattan Beach.
And for the first time in her 86 years, Mother Snyder plunged her toes into the
waters of the Pacific Ocean,
and it just made all of us very, very happy.
I said, Mom, what do you think?
She says, geez, that's cold.
She is so cute.
Anyway, Gene Siskel is here tonight, and Bonnie Hunt and David Steinberg and
all of you.
And we'll be right back after these messages.
Thank you all for watching, and enjoy the pictures as they fly through the air.
You've heard that more than a billion people around the world have just watched
the Oscars on television.
We've assembled our own panel of experts to share their insights into this
evening's festivities.
Please welcome the noted film critic Gene Siskel, who was at the Shrine Auditorium
this evening.
He's here with a review.
One of America's most popular and busiest directors and comedians, David Steinberg,
is at home in front of and behind the cameras,
and he spent the evening watching the show at the fabulous party at Spago's
here in Southern California.
Finally, the actress and comedian and friend, Bonnie Hunt, who is here with her
own unique perspective on the Oscars.
Bonnie and David and Gene, thank you for coming on.
Let me ask you, since you were down there and you saw this, and, you know,
critics always savage these awards show.
But to me, this was entertaining tonight.
What did you think?
Not particularly entertaining, no.
No.
I'm going to savage it, Tom.
Why not?
And I'm surprised, because, Tom, I always thought you were a tough guy, a tough
critic.
Except, you see...
What was so special to you, Tom?
Why was this that great?
Do you remember anything?
Tom, replay to me one of the acceptance speeches.
I thought Tom Hanks, although he was a bit over-emotional, he touched me.
He was the only one.
He truly...
He was the only one because he had a thematic device.
Quincy Jones also spoke beautifully, actually, earlier.
Again, he had a thematic device.
And Eric Roth, Wendy Finerman for the producer of Gump, a nice job.
But, you know, it's always the screenwriter, the original screenwriter, who
does the best.
Eric Roth, talking about all his family.
But not a night.
Did you learn anything about Gump?
Did you learn anything about the movies tonight?
Nothing.
No.
You never learn anything about the movies at the Oscars.
That's what we should be taught.
Why are you so angry about this?
Because it's a precious night, Tom.
Yes, it is.
It's a precious night.
You just said a billion people.
Here's a chance to educate, inform about movies.
They don't do it.
And you felt that they...
They don't do it.
See, for me, I wash it for the clothes.
I know.
But they don't even tell you about the clothes, Bonnie.
I know, Bonnie.
Oh, I agree with you.
No, Bonnie, I'm with you.
Bonnie, you know, the opening is three minutes.
Outside, exteriors.
Oh, by the way.
Why not have...
That's right.
What are you wearing?
What are you wearing?
Why'd you pick this?
What didn't you wear?
That's true.
I do want to...
You do want to find out stuff.
G, are you hungry?
Not particularly.
No, really, because I was hungry all night when I went to the Oscars.
And all I could think of is, you know, when I was going to get a bite eaten,
I got more and more irritable because I didn't have any food with me.
Do you want me to make you boys something?
But I thought...
During the break.
But Gene, it looks like you're hungry.
See, if you had some food in you, you might not be as angry about...
David, what do you think they do with the press backstage?
Do they give you food?
Oh, so you ate.
Oh.
Little sandwiches, carrots.
So my theory is off already.
Yeah.
I had a lot of sliced pineapple as well, if you really want to know.
But you expect this, I mean, you expect this event to enlighten us in some way?
I think that...
In which people gather because they hate each other so much and hope that the
others aren't
going to win and that they're going to win.
You expect this to be an enlightening event in some way?
Even, David, if it tapped into the mutual hatred that you talked about, that
would be informational.
Let me just interrupt you all because Jennifer Tilly, one of the nominees for
Best Supporting
Actress, is on the live cam down at the Shrine Auditorium.
And I just want all of us to say hello to her because we had lunch with her on
Friday
over at the hotel.
So let's switch to Jennifer Tilly.
Can you hear us, Jenny?
Hello?
Yes.
Hi, Tom.
How are you?
Well, it didn't go our way completely, but you looked great, and I trust you
had a wonderful
evening.
I had a great time.
You know, it's a lot longer when you're actually there in person.
Now, when you got up...
We're talking about the Oscars, Jennifer.
Yes.
No, I'm talking about the ceremonies.
And you know what?
I'm like Pavla's dog.
I start salivating as soon as the show starts because I'm used to eating
through the entire
telecast.
I was very hungry.
And so where do we find you now?
Oh, well, now I'm standing in front of the pizzas, but I don't get to eat them
because
they said you wanted to talk to me.
Do you need a ride, Jennifer?
All right.
No.
I'm fine.
Thank you.
Food.
See, all they're thinking about it.
Jennifer, thanks for joining us tonight.
I enjoyed lunching with you on the dais on Friday, and much success in the
future, and
thanks again for visiting our program.
You look beautiful, Jennifer.
By the way, Jennifer, what are you wearing tonight?
Isaac Mizrahi.
He's a New York designer.
Yeah.
My big fear was the zipper would pop before the evening was over.
The evening's still not over, so...
There's hope.
I've come back with three empty chairs and me sitting here alone.
Good night, Jennifer, and thank you again for joining us.
Thanks.
Who do you suppose had the bright idea to open the telecast scene by how many
billion people
around the world, 30, 80, whatever it was, by having Arthur Hiller come out and
speak
for three minutes?
Yeah.
Arthur is hardly the most exciting speaker in the history of the world.
Terrible.
And for three minutes, they bring this guy out.
You've got the biggest, the best, hottest, late-night talent around.
Yeah.
With all respect to you, David Letterman.
Oh, in the history of the world.
Okay.
All right.
And you're going to leave him off for 11 minutes or something like that.
I mean, it's just...
I was devastated when it started.
I couldn't wait for Dave to come out, and then...
Arthur Hiller came out.
And somebody's uncle came out, and I didn't know what happened.
I was like, what happened?
He's a Canadian.
And then, how about this?
And he was hungry.
How about this?
Then they do the production number fairly early on, where they have people, it's
comedy,
and they have not the leading lights, you know, Kathy Najimy, not one of the
great talent,
I shouldn't say talent, one of the great actors, actresses, and they have her
dance in
front of famous comic scenes.
Somebody actually rolled by, while Tom Hanks does this, Tom Cruise does the
thing where,
from Risky Business, where he slips in, that great comic moment, they had
someone roller skate
by, a live actor roller skate by.
What does that add to...
What does it add?
I love how pissed you are.
Oh!
I thought it.
I am.
It bothered me, too, I have to say.
And then some of the actors were singing to themselves on the big screen.
I mean, I do that at home, certainly, I think we all do.
What was it like at Spago with all the beautiful people and Wolfgang Puck's
designer pizzas?
It was depressing.
That was bad?
Yeah, well, because I was at a table with Milton Berle.
Name dropping.
And, yeah, Milton Berle and Walter Matthaus.
But Milton Berle, he came alive when Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, won,
because there was
a woman, a guy in drag.
Oh, no!
And he said, oh, it's a man wearing a dress.
I said, yeah, Milton, is something familiar to you?
He perked up for that.
And then he badmouthed everybody.
Adela, he just wasn't happy with one single speech.
They should write them better.
They're not good.
Well, thank God we're not on that track.
That's right.
David, they normally serve white Alaskan salmon at that dinner.
Was that what you were serving?
I didn't make it to the entree, but they had a tremendous amount of appetizers.
The food was delicious.
Yes, it is.
It's just that everyone took the event so seriously.
I'm not used to that.
You know, that when I would say something to my partner, I would get hushed.
Michael York was behind me.
He would hush me.
The guy from the Monkees?
Oh, that's Peter Tork.
Name dropped her.
Let her host the show.
She's already on.
I'm excited you got for a second.
Back with Bonnie Hunt and David Steinberg and Gene Siskel.
After these messages, we'll talk about who dressed well and who dressed poorly
and get to your phone calls on the toll-free line.
It's almost like I'm having an out-of-body experience.
This is such a strange feeling.
I mean, it's very hard to do this.
I mean, to go through that gauntlet.
And this is barbaric.
But nonetheless fun.
He was the odds-on favorite for victory tonight.
You know what, Tom?
Another criticism of the show, as long as I'm developing a theme here.
You just won't let this puppy go, will you?
Well, look, they cut him off.
He was snagging me around during the course.
They cut him