Name: Regis Philbin's First Appearance on Letterman, May 26, 1983
Uploaded: 2015-12-23T22:11:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Regis Philbin's First Appearance on Letterman, May 26, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Regis Philbin's First Appearance on Letterman, May 26, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-23. Transcript available.

Thank you, folks.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Steve Jordan was playing drums, Will Lee, and, of course, Stephen Kahn.
Thank you, gentlemen, and welcome back to the show, folks.
Monday, we got a good program Monday.
Warren Eckstein, who is an animal trainer, also George Miller,
and actress Carrie Fisher will be here.
Yep.
And in a few minutes, we're going to meet Mr. Ron Silver.
My next guest started his career as a page right here in this building,
and he has since been the announcer on the Joy Bishop Show.
He has also been the host of a number of other programs,
including AM Los Angeles, The Neighbors, and The Regis Philbin Show.
He is currently the co-host of the morning show right here on WABC-TV in New
York.
Please welcome Mr. Regis Philbin. Regis.
What a night this is.
Chinese inventors, horses, and Regis Philbin.
Yeah, we got it all.
First of all, let me welcome you to New York.
Let me congratulate you on the success of the show.
It looks terrific.
You do a fine job over there.
It's a very nice show.
Thanks. I'm glad you are.
Now, let me ask you about some of these other programs, Regis.
What was The Neighbors? What was that?
Well, sorry you brought that up.
The Neighbors was a game show that we did years ago on ABC.
As I recall, we invited neighbors to come together and tell funny and unusual
things about themselves.
You know, gossip, oddball things about each other, yeah.
Did that work very well?
No, it didn't work at all.
No, I don't know.
How long?
Very quickly.
Was that on and off pretty quick?
It was on and off.
Yeah.
Now, but you have done a whole host of different shows.
If you had to pick a kind of show, what would you want to do?
I mean, not that you're not doing it now, but...
I'm still waiting for that one to come along.
You think so?
Yeah.
No, I kind of like what I'm doing now.
Early in the morning, I think, is suited best for me.
It's live.
It's, uh...
We don't have any horses on.
Incidentally...
But you'd have a horse on there, wouldn't you?
When you ask that trainer, why does the horse breathe in his nose?
Yeah.
Dynamite question.
I've got to remember that one.
That was terrific.
And he didn't know for a minute.
No, he didn't know.
He wasn't...
You had him.
Yeah.
You had this guy.
It was great.
It was a regular Mike Wallace-type question.
You know what I mean?
You zeroed in on him.
You let him out.
I was proud of you.
Thank you very much.
You're good.
I appreciate that.
Now, on the, uh...
This is kind of awkward interviewing another host, isn't it?
No, no.
I tell you, I didn't want to come on because I've got nothing to say.
Honest to God, I said today on my own show, I'm on the David Letterman show
tonight,
and I don't have a thing to talk about.
I've got no movie.
I've got no book.
I've got no crusade.
I've got no Chinese inventor.
I've got no horse.
Nothing.
Really, it's going to be tough for you to interview.
Oh, no, no.
We have, uh...
We have plenty of interesting things to get you.
Well, I hope they're better than the first two.
I'll tell you that.
Now...
Okay, here's...
I'm not used to seeing an audience.
No, you have an audience on your program, don't you?
Yeah, a little audience.
About 20 people wander in.
Keep out of the cold.
Nice folks, though.
It's different in the morning, David.
It really is.
Well, I know.
You can't get guests in the morning.
No, no, don't say that, because you have a fine lineup of guests.
You do a very nice program, so knock that off, and let's get on with this.
Now, you're, um...
Tough, tough tonight.
Tough on the trainer and tough on me.
Uh...
Don't ask me why I breathe through my nose.
Come on.
But on the program, one of the nice things about it is you're very relaxed.
Very relaxed, yeah.
Very loose on the show.
Yeah, well, you are, too.
Well, it's different for me, because I have the whole day to kind of worry
about things,
but you just...
You want to know something?
You're absolutely right.
When I had afternoon shows or late-night shows, the same thing.
You'd worry about it all day.
This way, you wake up in the morning, you get there at a quarter to nine,
on at nine o'clock, and then you worry about what you said at ten, you know?
Now, you get there at quarter to nine.
How late would you stay?
Well, I used to get there at a quarter to nine.
Now, since this is a new show, I get there around 8.30.
Oh, yeah.
That extra 15...
Absolutely.
In the long run, that extra quarter...
Likes to follow up on those tough questions, you know?
That's right.
Now, do you ever feel uptight or nervous about a guest?
I can't imagine that happening with you.
No.
No, I really don't.
I can't think...
What I don't like is being here now, because I have nothing to say.
But I never get uptight about the show.
I really don't.
Well, you don't either, do you?
Oh, sure.
Does anything ever shake you?
Oh, yeah.
Like what?
Well, on a day-to-day, it could be a whole host of things.
Yeah, but being a guest, I think you'll agree with me, is tougher than being a
host.
Yeah, I found that to be true.
Of course, the burden is on the guest to say funny things.
Yeah, that's right.
Why do I feel this burden getting heavier every minute?
Now, for folks who may not have seen Regis in action, either on this program or
other shows that he has done,
we have a sampling of a recent show on videotape here.
Regis, tell America what they're going to see, and then let's just sit back and
enjoy it.
Well, your intrepid staff requested this.
Actually, you know, I'm not kidding.
It is tough to get guests in the morning.
One of them being Tom Jones.
You know, Tom Jones is going to bed as I'm going to work, so he's not going to
come.
So we go to him.
So we decided to have lunch with Tom Jones in his suite.
He's appearing here in New York, so we made a date, and as luck would have it,
we saw the waiter pushing down the tray to his room.
So I said, now, wait a minute.
Let's go in this, and let's push it together down the hallway.
And that's what you're going to see.
Now, this is what David Letterman's staff thinks is funny, you know.
Me and a waiter pushing a tray down a hallway at the Waldorf Astoria Hope.
Don't ask me, folks.
I'm just the guest here.
All right.
That's it, and that's a sample of the kind of thing you'd see on Regis' program,
which is co-hosted by Cindy Garvey.
Cindy.
Yeah, Tom Jones.
What?
What's the big deal?
What is the big deal with Tom Jones?
I can do what he does.
What's new, pussycat?
What's new, pussycat?
Do you like that or not?
Walter, wait a minute.
Stop it.
Do you like me singing or not?
What's new, pussycat?
Does it sound like him or not?
He does.
What's the big deal?
Anybody can do it, Walter.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Delilah.
That is it.
What's the other song he does?
Do I have a Walter or a knife?
That sounds terrific for me.
Tell him, I like Regis.
I will.
Okay.
It could mean your job, but what do you mean?
What's new, pussycat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Is this it?
This is it, now.
Don't be afraid.
Of course.
Don't be afraid.
Nobody here.
Don't be scared.
Run service.
What's new, pussycat?
What's new, pussycat?
All right, Tom.
Yes.
Walter has brought the food in.
Okay.
And I was singing for him in the hallway.
Walter loved me.
Walter, tell him how much you liked me.
Oh, well, so much.
Was it good?
Walter, tell him what you said out in the hallway, that you liked me better.
Just a wonderful work.
Just serve the food.
He was a good sport.
Yeah, he was.
Very funny.
Very nice.
We're going to stay right there.
We're going to come back, and we'll talk more about the multi-talented Regis
Philbin.
Regis Philbin is here, the ebullient Regis Philbin.
Regis Philbin is here, the ebullient Regis Philbin.
Now, you were singing in the, was it the Waldorf?
Singing, yes, what's new pussycat?
Yeah, that's pretty.
He was a nice sport, that way of Walt.
Yeah, that was a nice little piece, but of course, no, no, I know.
Oh, no, no.
No, no, you've seen it before.
Yes.
Well, this, of course, is the album that, it's time for Regis, and when was
this made, Regis?
About 1968.
68.
And we're going to listen to a little bit now.
Oh, you're kidding me.
No, they're, they're, they're not booing, they're simply chanting Regis, Regis.
Oh, I like that.
That's nice.
A lot of people, it's the same thing we do for Lou Piniella.
Now, but I've got nothing to talk about.
No, we're going to listen now to a cut called A Kiss to Build a Dream On.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Regis.
Oh, no.
Let's listen now, can we?
Give me a kiss to build a dream on, and my imagination will thrive upon that
kiss.
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this, a kiss to build a dream on.
A kiss to build a dream on.
How about a, how about a little bit of Swanee?
No, we didn't, we didn't get Swanee on there, but, well, a kiss to build a,
yeah, but the
kiss to build a dream on was, was the single that really broke off the album.
You'd like to hear Swanee, wouldn't you, gang?
They want Swanee.
We don't, we don't have Swanee.
You don't have Swanee?
We don't have Swanee.
It's funny, it's on the album.
It's on the album, but we, see, here's the record in here, and we had to put it
on audio
tape, so we only got a kiss to build a dream on.
You know how I made that out?
It's so funny, that people spend all of their lives training and rehearsing and
wanting to
be a singer.
Yeah.
And one night on the Joey Bishop show, Bing Crosby was a guest on the show, and
he sat
right over here.
Do you want to hear the story or not?
I'm listening.
Okay.
And anyway, he wanted Bing to sing.
In fact, here's Bing's picture.
That's the night that happened.
So anyway, he wanted Bing to sing a song, but everybody was afraid to ask him
because they
were paying him scale.
So on the show, he said to Bing, and he knew I was a Bing, Bing Crosby fan.
He said, Bing, it'd be the biggest thrill in this kid's life if he could sing
Pennies
from Heaven to you.
What he meant to say was if you could sing Pennies from Heaven to him.
Right.
But it came out the other way.
Yeah.
So Bing Crosby turns, and he looks at me, you know, with those blue eyes, and
the band started saying, Regis, no, the band started applauding, and Johnny
Mann, who
didn't, who never knew what was going on anyway, said, did he say Pennies from
Heaven?
Hit it!
And they played it, and what are you going to do?
So I sang, and the next day I got a record contract from Mercury Records.
I'm going to show you how crazy this business is.
Now, did you move any of these?
No.
Yeah.
Okay.
You got the only copy.
Now, we saw another picture on the back of the album earlier, and I want you to
tell
me what's going on there, Regis.
You and Joey and Sammy Davis Jr.
What is happening here?
Well, you remember the Nehru suit craze back in 1968?
Right.
Yeah, Sammy Davis was coming on the show, so Joey and I walked up Vine Street
and went
out to Cy Devorah someplace, and we picked up a couple of those snazzy Nehru
suits.
I still have mine.
Do you have yours?
No, I never had one.
Well, you remember the 60s, and the hippie era and all that?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That was my contribution to the era.
Now, you were actually a page in this building, weren't you?
Right here.
Yeah.
As a matter of fact, on the eighth floor, I guess, where those great dramatic
shows were
happening, Philco and Robert Montgomery Presents, and that was the beginning of
it for me.
Yeah.
Do you remember anything about paging?
Yes.
I remember one time, June Lockhart.
Well, I remember one time I was sitting the first night on the show, and I'm
sitting up
there on Sunday night, and the door opened, and out came this little gorilla on
a bicycle.
So I was new on the job.
I didn't know what to expect, and this gorilla starts coming faster and faster
down the hallway.
Top speed.
I became alarmed.
And just before the gorilla got to my desk, he jumped off the bike, and the
bike crashed
into my desk, and the gorilla laughed like crazy.
It was J. Fred Muggs.
You remember the gorilla that they had on the Today Show?
Right.
Yeah, so anyway, that was his big... I'll never forget that, because he's
scared the hell
out of me.
Yeah.
But we'll...
What were your responsibilities as a page?
I'll tell you, to come up with the key, and tonight the page gave me my key to
the dressing
room.
Yeah.
Incidentally, your dressing rooms are a little small.
They're tiny, yeah.
Yeah.
Cardinal Monsenti had a bigger cell from the Russians.
Here's the guy.
But the night I was there, June Lockhart came, and she wanted her key to the
dressing room,
and I couldn't find it.
Yeah.
And I just felt terrible.
And that's the only thing I remember from being a page.
That's all you need to remember, Regis.
Enough of the talk about.
Is that it?
Is it the big brush?
No, we're done.
No, no, no.
Wait a minute.
Let me just...
Let me say thank you very much.
Continued success on your own...
Is this goodbye?
No, it's not goodbye.
You're just done for the evening.
You really want me to leave?
You have to leave now, Regis.
Thank you.
Regis Philbin, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
We'll be right back after this, folks.
We'll be right back after this, folks.
We'll be right back after this, folks.
We'll be right back after this, folks.
We'll be right back after this, folks.
We'll be right back after this, folks.
We'll be right back after this, folks.
We'll be right back after this, folks.

Regis Philbin's First Appearance on Letterman, May 26, 1983

Thank you, folks.
Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
Steve Jordan was playing drums, Will Lee, and, of course, Stephen Kahn.
Thank you, gentlemen, and welcome back to the show, folks.
Monday, we got a good program Monday.
Warren Eckstein, who is an animal trainer, also George Miller,
and actress Carrie Fisher will be here.
Yep.
And in a few minutes, we're going to meet Mr. Ron Silver.
My next guest started his career as a page right here in this building,
and he has since been the announcer on the Joy Bishop Show.
He has also been the host of a number of other programs,
including AM Los Angeles, The Neighbors, and The Regis Philbin Show.
He is currently the co-host of the morning show right here on WABC-TV in New
York.
Please welcome Mr. Regis Philbin. Regis.
What a night this is.
Chinese inventors, horses, and Regis Philbin.
Yeah, we got it all.
First of all, let me welcome you to New York.
Let me congratulate you on the success of the show.
It looks terrific.
You do a fine job over there.
It's a very nice show.
Thanks. I'm glad you are.
Now, let me ask you about some of these other programs, Regis.
What was The Neighbors? What was that?
Well, sorry you brought that up.
The Neighbors was a game show that we did years ago on ABC.
As I recall, we invited neighbors to come together and tell funny and unusual
things about themselves.
You know, gossip, oddball things about each other, yeah.
Did that work very well?
No, it didn't work at all.
No, I don't know.
How long?
Very quickly.
Was that on and off pretty quick?
It was on and off.
Yeah.
Now, but you have done a whole host of different shows.
If you had to pick a kind of show, what would you want to do?
I mean, not that you're not doing it now, but...
I'm still waiting for that one to come along.
You think so?
Yeah.
No, I kind of like what I'm doing now.
Early in the morning, I think, is suited best for me.
It's live.
It's, uh...
We don't have any horses on.
Incidentally...
But you'd have a horse on there, wouldn't you?
When you ask that trainer, why does the horse breathe in his nose?
Yeah.
Dynamite question.
I've got to remember that one.
That was terrific.
And he didn't know for a minute.
No, he didn't know.
He wasn't...
You had him.
Yeah.
You had this guy.
It was great.
It was a regular Mike Wallace-type question.
You know what I mean?
You zeroed in on him.
You let him out.
I was proud of you.
Thank you very much.
You're good.
I appreciate that.
Now, on the, uh...
This is kind of awkward interviewing another host, isn't it?
No, no.
I tell you, I didn't want to come on because I've got nothing to say.
Honest to God, I said today on my own show, I'm on the David Letterman show
tonight,
and I don't have a thing to talk about.
I've got no movie.
I've got no book.
I've got no crusade.
I've got no Chinese inventor.
I've got no horse.
Nothing.
Really, it's going to be tough for you to interview.
Oh, no, no.
We have, uh...
We have plenty of interesting things to get you.
Well, I hope they're better than the first two.
I'll tell you that.
Now...
Okay, here's...
I'm not used to seeing an audience.
No, you have an audience on your program, don't you?
Yeah, a little audience.
About 20 people wander in.
Keep out of the cold.
Nice folks, though.
It's different in the morning, David.
It really is.
Well, I know.
You can't get guests in the morning.
No, no, don't say that, because you have a fine lineup of guests.
You do a very nice program, so knock that off, and let's get on with this.
Now, you're, um...
Tough, tough tonight.
Tough on the trainer and tough on me.
Uh...
Don't ask me why I breathe through my nose.
Come on.
But on the program, one of the nice things about it is you're very relaxed.
Very relaxed, yeah.
Very loose on the show.
Yeah, well, you are, too.
Well, it's different for me, because I have the whole day to kind of worry
about things,
but you just...
You want to know something?
You're absolutely right.
When I had afternoon shows or late-night shows, the same thing.
You'd worry about it all day.
This way, you wake up in the morning, you get there at a quarter to nine,
on at nine o'clock, and then you worry about what you said at ten, you know?
Now, you get there at quarter to nine.
How late would you stay?
Well, I used to get there at a quarter to nine.
Now, since this is a new show, I get there around 8.30.
Oh, yeah.
That extra 15...
Absolutely.
In the long run, that extra quarter...
Likes to follow up on those tough questions, you know?
That's right.
Now, do you ever feel uptight or nervous about a guest?
I can't imagine that happening with you.
No.
No, I really don't.
I can't think...
What I don't like is being here now, because I have nothing to say.
But I never get uptight about the show.
I really don't.
Well, you don't either, do you?
Oh, sure.
Does anything ever shake you?
Oh, yeah.
Like what?
Well, on a day-to-day, it could be a whole host of things.
Yeah, but being a guest, I think you'll agree with me, is tougher than being a
host.
Yeah, I found that to be true.
Of course, the burden is on the guest to say funny things.
Yeah, that's right.
Why do I feel this burden getting heavier every minute?
Now, for folks who may not have seen Regis in action, either on this program or
other shows that he has done,
we have a sampling of a recent show on videotape here.
Regis, tell America what they're going to see, and then let's just sit back and
enjoy it.
Well, your intrepid staff requested this.
Actually, you know, I'm not kidding.
It is tough to get guests in the morning.
One of them being Tom Jones.
You know, Tom Jones is going to bed as I'm going to work, so he's not going to
come.
So we go to him.
So we decided to have lunch with Tom Jones in his suite.
He's appearing here in New York, so we made a date, and as luck would have it,
we saw the waiter pushing down the tray to his room.
So I said, now, wait a minute.
Let's go in this, and let's push it together down the hallway.
And that's what you're going to see.
Now, this is what David Letterman's staff thinks is funny, you know.
Me and a waiter pushing a tray down a hallway at the Waldorf Astoria Hope.
Don't ask me, folks.
I'm just the guest here.
All right.
That's it, and that's a sample of the kind of thing you'd see on Regis' program,
which is co-hosted by Cindy Garvey.
Cindy.
Yeah, Tom Jones.
What?
What's the big deal?
What is the big deal with Tom Jones?
I can do what he does.
What's new, pussycat?
What's new, pussycat?
Do you like that or not?
Walter, wait a minute.
Stop it.
Do you like me singing or not?
What's new, pussycat?
Does it sound like him or not?
He does.
What's the big deal?
Anybody can do it, Walter.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Delilah.
That is it.
What's the other song he does?
Do I have a Walter or a knife?
That sounds terrific for me.
Tell him, I like Regis.
I will.
Okay.
It could mean your job, but what do you mean?
What's new, pussycat?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Is this it?
This is it, now.
Don't be afraid.
Of course.
Don't be afraid.
Nobody here.
Don't be scared.
Run service.
What's new, pussycat?
What's new, pussycat?
All right, Tom.
Yes.
Walter has brought the food in.
Okay.
And I was singing for him in the hallway.
Walter loved me.
Walter, tell him how much you liked me.
Oh, well, so much.
Was it good?
Walter, tell him what you said out in the hallway, that you liked me better.
Just a wonderful work.
Just serve the food.
He was a good sport.
Yeah, he was.
Very funny.
Very nice.
We're going to stay right there.
We're going to come back, and we'll talk more about the multi-talented Regis
Philbin.
Regis Philbin is here, the ebullient Regis Philbin.
Regis Philbin is here, the ebullient Regis Philbin.
Now, you were singing in the, was it the Waldorf?
Singing, yes, what's new pussycat?
Yeah, that's pretty.
He was a nice sport, that way of Walt.
Yeah, that was a nice little piece, but of course, no, no, I know.
Oh, no, no.
No, no, you've seen it before.
Yes.
Well, this, of course, is the album that, it's time for Regis, and when was
this made, Regis?
About 1968.
68.
And we're going to listen to a little bit now.
Oh, you're kidding me.
No, they're, they're, they're not booing, they're simply chanting Regis, Regis.
Oh, I like that.
That's nice.
A lot of people, it's the same thing we do for Lou Piniella.
Now, but I've got nothing to talk about.
No, we're going to listen now to a cut called A Kiss to Build a Dream On.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Regis.
Oh, no.
Let's listen now, can we?
Give me a kiss to build a dream on, and my imagination will thrive upon that
kiss.
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this, a kiss to build a dream on.
A kiss to build a dream on.
How about a, how about a little bit of Swanee?
No, we didn't, we didn't get Swanee on there, but, well, a kiss to build a,
yeah, but the
kiss to build a dream on was, was the single that really broke off the album.
You'd like to hear Swanee, wouldn't you, gang?
They want Swanee.
We don't, we don't have Swanee.
You don't have Swanee?
We don't have Swanee.
It's funny, it's on the album.
It's on the album, but we, see, here's the record in here, and we had to put it
on audio
tape, so we only got a kiss to build a dream on.
You know how I made that out?
It's so funny, that people spend all of their lives training and rehearsing and
wanting to
be a singer.
Yeah.
And one night on the Joey Bishop show, Bing Crosby was a guest on the show, and
he sat
right over here.
Do you want to hear the story or not?
I'm listening.
Okay.
And anyway, he wanted Bing to sing.
In fact, here's Bing's picture.
That's the night that happened.
So anyway, he wanted Bing to sing a song, but everybody was afraid to ask him
because they
were paying him scale.
So on the show, he said to Bing, and he knew I was a Bing, Bing Crosby fan.
He said, Bing, it'd be the biggest thrill in this kid's life if he could sing
Pennies
from Heaven to you.
What he meant to say was if you could sing Pennies from Heaven to him.
Right.
But it came out the other way.
Yeah.
So Bing Crosby turns, and he looks at me, you know, with those blue eyes, and
the band started saying, Regis, no, the band started applauding, and Johnny
Mann, who
didn't, who never knew what was going on anyway, said, did he say Pennies from
Heaven?
Hit it!
And they played it, and what are you going to do?
So I sang, and the next day I got a record contract from Mercury Records.
I'm going to show you how crazy this business is.
Now, did you move any of these?
No.
Yeah.
Okay.
You got the only copy.
Now, we saw another picture on the back of the album earlier, and I want you to
tell
me what's going on there, Regis.
You and Joey and Sammy Davis Jr.
What is happening here?
Well, you remember the Nehru suit craze back in 1968?
Right.
Yeah, Sammy Davis was coming on the show, so Joey and I walked up Vine Street
and went
out to Cy Devorah someplace, and we picked up a couple of those snazzy Nehru
suits.
I still have mine.
Do you have yours?
No, I never had one.
Well, you remember the 60s, and the hippie era and all that?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That was my contribution to the era.
Now, you were actually a page in this building, weren't you?
Right here.
Yeah.
As a matter of fact, on the eighth floor, I guess, where those great dramatic
shows were
happening, Philco and Robert Montgomery Presents, and that was the beginning of
it for me.
Yeah.
Do you remember anything about paging?
Yes.
I remember one time, June Lockhart.
Well, I remember one time I was sitting the first night on the show, and I'm
sitting up
there on Sunday night, and the door opened, and out came this little gorilla on
a bicycle.
So I was new on the job.
I didn't know what to expect, and this gorilla starts coming faster and faster
down the hallway.
Top speed.
I became alarmed.
And just before the gorilla got to my desk, he jumped off the bike, and the
bike crashed
into my desk, and the gorilla laughed like crazy.
It was J. Fred Muggs.
You remember the gorilla that they had on the Today Show?
Right.
Yeah, so a