Name: Bob and Ray on Letterman, October 30, 1984
Uploaded: 2016-02-04T18:49:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob and Ray on Letterman, October 30, 1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-04. Transcript available. The fifth of six appearances on Late Night.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bob and Ray on Letterman, October 30, 1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-04. Transcript available. The fifth of six appearances on Late Night.

What else is going on? We've got a great show for you. Legendary. Is it safe to
use the word legendary in connection with these two men?
Bob and Ray, fine comedians.
Thank you very much.
We have a really nice program for you folks tonight, and our first two guests
are certainly one of the reasons for it being a great program.
Aside from being two of the funniest people in this country, these guys are
also two of the keenest observers of the American scene and the finest
interviewers in the business.
It's my pleasure to welcome Bob and Ray.
Hi, Bob. Nice to see you again.
Ray, how are you? Nice to have you.
Now, in the introduction, I mentioned that you gentlemen are keen observers of
the American scene, and I understand there is somebody you have with you
tonight as an example of that keen observation.
I had a chance to scout some of the audience lined up, and I came across a
gentleman who tells me he may be the next president of the United States.
Oh, no kidding.
It's a little bit late to be starting a campaign as a write-in candidate, but
this is Mr. G. L. Hummerbeck, and his story is not Mr. G. L. Hummerbeck.
It's the Right Honorable G. L. Hummerbeck.
Oh, you're assuming the full title of presidency already.
No, no. That's my first name, Right Honorable.
I don't understand.
Well, let me explain. You see, I'm part Winnebago Indian, and when a child is
born, they give it the name after the first thing it sees, right after it is
born.
And in that case, it was the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, the Right Honorable
Charles Evans Hughes.
That's a very interesting story, but this thing about your...
I think it'd be a more interesting story if I knew what the Chief Justice of
the Supreme Court was doing on the reservation in our tent the day I was born.
But nobody seems to remember that.
That would be an interesting story, but it doesn't have much to do with your
running for president, does it?
No, it doesn't.
Now, are you a member of one of the major parties, or what?
No, I'm going after both the parties. I think that's a big mistake that most
politicians make.
Well, putting all their eggs in one basket.
Now, I think I can double my chances by running on both sides.
I guess mathematically that's right, but I don't think that you'd have much of
a chance.
How can you make a platform for both parties?
Well, I avoid the issues that the others are talking about.
Now, do you remember William Jennings Bryan?
Oh, vividly, yes.
Well, he ran on the free silver issue.
And I thought I'd dig that up and use that again.
Well, I don't know whether you can create much interest in free silver at this
point.
I've forgotten what the issue was even back in Bryan's time.
Oh, I don't know. I do know he was nominated, though, after he made a big
speech saying that he would not be nailed to a cross of gold.
Uh-huh.
And, uh, I thought I'd dig that up and use it again and see if it still works.
Probably had, uh, more meaning back then than it does now, don't you think?
I don't know.
I, uh, I do know this, though, that Bryan lived up to his promise.
He never did let anybody nail him to a cross of gold.
I take it from the library.
Mr., uh, Mr. Hammerback, I, I hate to say this, but, uh, you strike me as a man
who really doesn't know what he's talking about.
Right, honorable.
And I think the voters will be smart enough to see right through you, too.
Well, uh, I'm getting that impression myself.
They, uh, they laugh at my speeches a lot, and, uh, gee, I don't know, and they
heckle me quite a bit, but I'm going to stick it out.
Well, maybe.
So, uh, my name will not be on the ballot, but you can write it in.
All right.
That's, uh, right, honorable.
G. L. Hammerback.
Maybe this, uh, valuable television time will get you some, some support.
Certainly hope so. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Well, thank you. It was certainly a nice meeting, gentlemen.
Uh, not long ago, you two appeared at, uh, Carnegie Hall, right?
Yeah, we did two concerts there in the early summer, which, uh, was that the
first time you appeared there?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Was that a big thrill for you in your career?
Yeah.
Yeah?
It was exciting, wasn't it?
Yeah, it was great.
They taped it, and the public radio station is, uh, playing it now.
Oh, that's great. That's great. And, uh, yeah, we have other things, uh, that
you're going to do for us here. We have to do a, uh, a commercial, and then we'll
be back with, uh, Bob and Ray.
Okay, we're back, uh, Bob and Ray are with us now. In addition to recently
appearing at Carnegie Hall, you do a lot of, uh, benefits? You do some charity
work? You do any of that sort of thing?
We do occasionally. We do occasionally. We've been, uh, our, our current, uh,
charity that we're putting a lot of time into is the, uh, Bob and Ray haircut
repair clinic over here in New Jersey.
Haircut repair?
Yeah. It was your idea originally, I think.
Well, I guess it was. See, uh, people don't realize, but there are over 40,000
bad haircuts given to people every year in this country.
That's not, it's not to say that all barbers are bad by any means.
No.
It's just one or two rotten apples.
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.
So we did, we, this, uh, began as a dream back in the late 50s, you remember?
Yeah.
It's open, uh, seven days a week, 24 hours a day.
Get any kind of a bad haircut repaired over there.
You get a touch tap over there.
Even a room where you can sit for three or four days and let it grow out a
little.
And we were, we were smart enough to pick, pick Secaucus.
We got some land cheap way back there.
Yeah.
And now, of course, the Meadowlands is open up.
Oh, yeah.
It's going to be a big thing.
And we're hoping for a telethon to build a celebrity wing.
Oh, yeah.
That'd be good.
Uh, early next year.
We all thought you might MC.
I'll do, I'll do what I can.
You know.
Great.
Just great.
It'd be wonderful if you could do that.
Well, just, uh, all I can say is God bless you both.
Thank you.
Um, now, um, have, have you, uh, you, uh, lately come across any other unusual,
uh, uh, folks, characters, and, and the great landscape of...
Yeah, we have.
And, uh, uh, we brought them here this evening.
Uh, we have our assistants usually on the lookout for unusual people or
characters, if you will,
who, uh, have not received the recognition that we think they deserve.
And so we bring them here and give them a chance to tell their story.
Uh, this gentleman here is one of those people.
He's Clifford Wordlinger, and he's a pizza flipper.
Now, Clifford, uh, where do you do your pizza flipping?
At the, uh, Circular Food Restaurant on 42nd Street.
Here in Manhattan?
Yes, sir.
You from New York?
No, I'm from New Jersey, Menlo Park.
Menlo Park, New Jersey.
Isn't that the home of, uh, Thomas A. Edison, the wizard of Menlo Park?
That's right.
Because in his younger days, he wasn't known as a wizard.
No, I guess you have to do quite a bit before you're known as a wizard.
Right.
Uh, why you don't see, uh, many young wizards around these days.
No, he was a, he was a Garden State genius, all right.
Well, uh, you know, just his work on a movie camera alone would qualify him.
And he'd take the incandescent lamp and some of his other inventions?
Yeah, he was a, he was really, uh, a New Jersey great.
An Ohio product.
Right.
But a New Jersey great.
Well, uh, how'd you get started in, uh, pizza flipping?
Well, my uncle Joseph Hanover was a famous pizza flipper.
Joseph Hanover?
Uh-huh.
Wow.
Crings the bell, huh?
Yeah, when I was a kid, I used to sneak into the old Rococo restaurant there.
Rococo, that's where he used to work, yeah.
And, uh, he'd stand in the center of that restaurant, flip pizzas 40 feet in
the air.
Wow.
He was something.
He was, he was terrific, all right.
I learned everything I know from him.
Wow, is that so?
His eyesight, uh, went bad on him, however, and, uh, the stuff he was throwing
up in the
air began to land on the patrons, and...
Oh, I'm glad I caught him in his, in his prime.
Well, you were lucky.
I, I didn't get that chance, but I did see him on his, on his last night, a
proud, defiant
man standing there.
Look, look, look, if you don't want to talk about it.
No, no, I do want to.
I haven't talked about him for so many years.
It's, uh, I think it's good to get these things off his chest.
Well, you know what I remember about your uncle?
Uh, he had those classic Grecian features.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Gnulled hands, uh, kind of an ageless kind of dignity.
Right.
I think you'd have to say the man was touched by greatness.
Yeah, the, the deep, rich quality of burnished brass.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, he, he was really, you know, he was a friend of Jack Palance in those
days.
I, I, uh, I'd heard that, but I, uh, wasn't sure.
He met, uh, Jack right after he'd finished his, uh, definitive textbook on
pizza flipping,
making dough by flipping dough.
Wow.
That was my Bible, and I'm glad to know that, uh, stuff about Jack Palance is
true.
I'd heard it, but I was never able to prove it.
Well, uh, listen, there's a picture of your uncle and Jack in a barbershop
window over
here on 44th Street.
No fooling.
Yeah?
That, that barbershop has a picture of Laurel and Hardy.
Wheeler and Woolsey, yeah.
Yeah, I'll go over and see it.
Yeah.
Say, uh, gosh, Ty was slipping by on us.
Have there been any radical changes in pizza flipping since your uncle's time?
Well, we don't flip them as high as we used to.
Too many pizza snatchers around.
Well, uh, a pizza snatcher's a person who would grab a descending pizza.
That's right.
Run off with it, uh, that's right.
Or lands, while paying, is that it?
Now, if you throw them as low as two feet in the air, you have to elbow your
way in to
grab them.
It's rough stuff.
You know, I have a wonder what anybody would want, an uncooked pizza crust.
I know, and I think they'd do it more for the sport than the nourishment.
Well, look, time has really slipped by on us, uh, Clifford.
I'd, we spent so much talk, uh, time talking about, uh, Edison and your uncle
and cameras
and stuff.
Jack Palance.
Jack Palance.
I'd hope that you'd give us a display of, uh, fancy and comedy flipping, but,
uh, maybe
next time.
I'll be glad to come back any time, huh?
Say, look, now that you've had your chance to be on the air and talk about it,
do you feel
a little better now?
Yeah, a little.
I probably would feel much better if my uncle had been Thomas Edison.
Or, or Jack Palance.
Yeah, right.
Well, thank you very much, Clifford.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Bob and Ray, thank you very much, gentlemen.
We'll be back after station identification.