Name: David Letterman on The Morning Show May 25, 1984
Uploaded: 2016-03-25T02:31:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman on The Morning Show May 25, 1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-03-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'David Letterman on The Morning Show May 25, 1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-03-25. Transcript available.

just kind of ambled in to spend a few minutes with us here on the morning show
i'm delighted
to have him because you know he's got a late night show he uh hasn't been on
morning incidentally
welcome back to morning television thank you very much it's a sham this
cosmetic uh subterfuge now
this woman up there you're upset with me being here aren't you what is what
what is your name
my name is anita anita i have tickets to go see your show and i said i was
coming here figuring
to see the oh great great i want to see you soon but i don't mind seeing you
twice oh that's very
thoughtful of you thank you very much and i understand she's been she's been whining
like
this all morning yes something about yeah i'm sorry i need a nice meeting you i'm
a little i'm a little
grumpy from the drive-in yeah nice meeting you yeah yeah nice to see anita they're
going to stop
should never have started with anita sir when i walked out anita said the same
thing to me oh you're
here today what was the drive-in like was it the drive-in it was surprisingly
uh uh you know i i it's
it takes me usually about an hour and a half to get in and uh of course i live
in michigan yeah i know
it's a long commute today it was great yeah because the holiday nobody coming
to work right
yeah so it was very nice it's beautiful up there where i live oh boy it's
lovely now you lived in
the city when you first came to new york yeah and decided to move to the
suburbs and that's been a
you know continuing controversy in our house too whether to live there or here
yeah but because of
my hours i'm living here yeah it would be difficult for you although it you
know it could be done i was
thinking about you this morning it really could be done i got up around six and
yeah got in here sure oh my
gosh david that's a little early for me well why did you move to the country
well we had lived in
new york uh for about two years we lived in uh we started out living in a hotel
uh lived in a car
for a while yeah this is with a couple of dogs yeah two dogs uh uh lived in a
lean-to lived in an
apartment we lived in in every possible uh living place in new york city and uh
the dogs it was just
hard on the dogs tough crazy so uh we finally uh uh ended up moving out where
the dogs could have a
little room they love it see what you do for your dogs i know it's crazy it don't
make sense if you
don't have dogs you don't understand speaking of the dogs the last guest
appearance you did with johnny
carson i told the producer of the tonight show you were absolutely brilliant he
told this hilarious story
about how he drugged his dog bob oh i guess it's a rather large dog yeah and
the plane the plane was
late and bob collapsed before he got to the plane so we had to drag bob you
know your dog is normally
frisky and healthy and happy and bob especially loves nothing he loves two
things he loves food and
and all he can get of it and he loves he loves people he just loves going
around saying hi to hi to people
with the possible exception of the nita perhaps only a joke and then not much
of one either as it turned out
uh but but you load you load bob up with the the tranquilizers and suddenly you
have yourself a
dozing cow so we were uh yeah it was it was a grim grim dragging him through
the uh airport but you
love your dogs and you love your life here in new york and you're happy to be
oh i'm happy to be in
new york it's a very exciting place to uh to work you know if you if you have
to pick a place to work
and i guess you do don't you sooner or later sooner or later it comes it comes
down to that yeah well
long about a sophomore in high school the counselor comes around says all right
it's time to pick a
place to work and uh uh i know new york's a great place to work have you been
noticing our weatherman ira
joe fisher i just met him in the hallway it's very nice okay you've seen him
haven't you yeah yeah
now you did some weather in indianapolis did some weather was it a funny
weathercast well it wasn't
supposed to be but it uh it i had difficulty taking uh the weather seriously
which you really ought to
because uh especially when you you work your way into the heartland of this
great country of ours
which i say because i like the way it sounds um people depend on the weather
you know agriculturally
related fields and so forth and it was always tough for me i started very young
doing the weather
i was like 21 or so and i didn't i didn't much care still in college uh you
just yeah as a matter
of fact it was still with a funny weather board and you drew things and the
temperatures uh no we
had a lot of magnetic stuff that would periodically drop off kind of a cheap
operation but uh no ira's
ira's a real good at what he does you're lucky to have him oh i sure am he's
still with the company
isn't he yes i think so yeah now we have a scene from um uh one of your
episodes you know those crazy
things you do incidentally some of them are just absolutely brilliant thank you
thank you very much and
some of course are just crap but no no no everything is funny but some of them
are really imaginative
now we have you in velcro that's right now let me explain this to you i i don't
like bringing on
clips to shows because i know sometimes when when uh you're hosting a show and
somebody drags on a
clip you just think oh i love it you do really sure absolutely what about some
of those just awful
movies that you know aren't going to make money and you got to sit through 90
seconds of one of those
clips you like that's not so great but from your show it's going to be funny i
know that all right well
uh forgive me for imposing uh it's a deal on this guy by the way that's my that's
my producer why is
he squatting there good lord it's an ancient indian custom strangest sight i've
ever seen i like my
producer some some guys like their producers to kneel i like mine to squat that's
unbelievable i've
never seen that on an adult in this country you know it looks like he's about
ready to get regis's
attention is regis we have to go to the shelter come on don't tell letterman we're
going for cover
now and there he is right there michael kent squatting in front of us uh anyway
so this clip so
i'm sorry about the clip uh i wish it was more entertaining and let me just
tell you what it is
and and then you can you know talk about it on the way home if you want it's uh
uh we have some
wonderful people working on the show i'm going to name them because they don't
get enough credit uh
dan blyer kathleen anchors uh sandy frank joe toplin uh eric anthony and george
drew now the
combination of these folks helped put together uh fun with velcro and they they
put together this
velcro suit okay so what you're going to see is me in the velcro suit and i'm
just sick about it
believe me okay so here it is me and the velcro so it's not too long it's only
about 50 seconds it'll
be done now theoretically i'll i'll hit the wall and stay there right yes
theoretically okay
go high as high as i can go okay okay can you
i can't uh
i can't uh
there's uh there's very little i can do from this position
then they had to pry him off that was funny and that was legit
we're going to come back with david put him on the phones 955-9800 give us a
call okay
okay we're back with me on the show you're you're welcome and thank you for
having me twice on your
show i've enjoyed the program ever since you went on the air oh is that right i
appreciate your offer to
be here david it's good to have you can i just ask david how did how did they
get you off the wall
did they throw cold water on you or what well they do do that but that's for a
whole difference
in this particular case it uh this velcro really is the miracle fabric of the
80s and it really once
you're on there you're on there so it a couple of burly thugs not not
associated with the show as it
turned out uh came and pried me off but but i was on there actually for i could
have stayed that must
have been funny just i mean it was very very curious feeling and the the suit
began to kind
of pull and and well you can guess where it was beginning to pull things you do
for your art all
right good morning you're on the morning show with david lederman hi i wanted
to ask david how
we get some of the ideas for a show some of the ideas for a show well let's
talk about some of the
things that you've done and where the ideas come from this team of six people
well no that was that
was i think the the cora folks who were involved with the the fun with velcro
but we the ideas come
from our writers uh occasionally if i've had a lot of rest i'll have an idea
our producer our director
i want to tell you about an idea you had the uh kreskin on a couple of the
weeks ago with one of these
deals uh do you think that was on the level i can't figure out how we did it
but we all watched
no i don't know how he did it but it was not as dazzling as what i'm about to
tell you we did we
we have a psychic named lev schneider that we work with he's he's uh formerly
from yeah from the
soviet union and he defected some years ago and now he's he's working around
the united states and uh
he he went up against a bloodhound to find something he went up against
electronic surveillance
devices to find something and we wanted him to go up against kreskin but kreskin
wouldn't he said no
i don't want to do that uh but the the other night uh this man was looking for
well just whatever you
know oh bill wendell he was looking for a bloodhound couldn't find wendell no
that surprises me but
so wouldn't you don't you think it'd be great for he and kreskin to have head
to head yeah absolutely
kreskin will be our guy you know it's not going to happen kreskin won't do it
he's whining about it
already i don't know well now you've laid down a challenge so anyway but two
nights ago i think
this was television history lev cooked a beef stroganoff for us and we hid the
ingredients
around the studio and through his psychic vibrations he found he found the
ingredients put the meal back
together it was unbelievable wow love is all right i don't think kreskin can do
that
that's fantastic to our audience now it was fantastic question for david yeah
david i'd like to know when
will there be a stupid petrick movie a stupid petricks movie uh gee uh it's an
interesting question uh regis i
know you had some thoughts on that i love that i love that concept that would
throw you know when david
took over the show uh he had sort of an idol as we all did steve allen and
especially the westinghouse
show that steve had with all the zany crazy things and you wanted to make sort
of an 18 1980s version of
that insanity yeah which i think you've done things like stupid petricks we
really like this the spirit
that uh that particular show always had stupid petricks to me is is one of the
best things uh uh we ever
came across where did you find where do you find these stupid pets well they're
from all over the
the tri-state area you auditioned them for the stupidity a young lady on our
show named sue hall
auditions the the folks and if you have them uh we we can always use people who
have silly little
tricks that their dogs do bob and stan ever been on your show they've never
been on this show they
were on the morning show they oddly enough they don't do any they only do one
trick they they when
the three of us are eating potato chips bob's uh stan and myself we all sound
alike and and and if you
darken the room and the three of us were eating potato chips you couldn't tell
that that's wonderful
that is wonderful hey david we're out of time but you were just terrific well
thanks again i really
mean it thank you very much for coming by david letterman let it eva coming up
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