Name: Garry Shandling on Letterman, June 24, 1993
Uploaded: 2016-03-26T02:56:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Garry Shandling on Letterman, June 24, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-03-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Garry Shandling on Letterman, June 24, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-03-26. Transcript available.

Our first guest, ladies and gentlemen, is a wonderfully talented comedian.
This man hosts and stars in his own television program on HBO,
which, by the way, is one of these breakthrough programs
that just grabs everybody by the collars and gets their attention,
and it really puts a new definition of the word quality television comedy.
It's The Larry Sanders Show, and ladies and gentlemen,
here he is, his own self, Gary Shandling. Gary!
I know you were hoping to slow dance.
Well, I hadn't had my hopes up.
You and I should get together later and play Beauty Parlor.
I think if there's any two guys in show business who could do it...
Do you know, one time I, this is about two years ago,
I trimmed my hair, someone came up to me and said,
you know, your hair looks like Barry Manilow's hair.
And it was during a meal.
So I didn't know how, you know, once I got past that,
the next day, I swear to you, I called the guy who cuts my hair,
and the guy who cuts my hair is, seriously, the guy who cuts Bill Clinton's
hair.
The presidential, the airplane guy, Air Force One?
Yes, yes.
Moncrief, Moncristoff, Christopher, Christophine, I don't know, that's what, I
don't know.
Christoff.
Christoff, yeah.
Rhymes with, yeah, I know.
Always rhymes with, I call him Kirchoff.
Because I assume that's what Clinton calls him.
So, curse.
So, actually, I believe all the hubbub over the hairdressing thing is that
people are afraid
that Clinton's going to make him head of the military.
So, anyway.
But I'm really trying to get to the Barry Manilow thing.
So, I went the next day and I called him and I said,
I've got to cut my hair differently because they're saying it looks like Barry
Manilow's hair.
And so, I trimmed it shorter in here and then I turned on the Tonight Show the
next night
and Barry Manilow was on and he had just trimmed his hair.
And there was just no getting away from the fact that clearly we were on some
strange parallel hair path.
I think it looks pretty good now.
Are you happy with how your hair looks?
No, you see, it's...
Well, I just had a cut and I'm up and walking around already.
You know, it looks like you could be one of the, mistaken for like one of the Gatlin
brothers.
Well, you know, I'm certainly...
That's not a bad deal.
I certainly wouldn't mind working in Branson, Missouri.
Listen, I don't know where the Gatlins work these days.
I'm not sure either.
I want to say that I did not know, I wasn't positive that you moving was the
right thing to do.
Really?
Until I saw you dancing.
Oh, thank you very much.
God bless you.
And I realize, and this is the truth, you are really excited.
Just remember, were you...
Thank God for instant replay.
Were you not, uh, is that going to be legal next year instant replay?
You should think about it.
You know, you know, were you not, were you not to have taken the CBS deal, I
believe you would not have been dancing.
Well, I don't know if there's a correlation there or not.
So I'm happy to be here.
I didn't, I thought, okay, this is going to be a big week.
It's your last week.
And so I flew in, you know, I'm very busy doing my show, which Dave just did
and he was great on it.
You know, that was a lot of fun and thank you for asking me.
Well, it turned out great, Dave.
I was glad you were there, boy.
Oh, come on now.
You are really a giving actor.
You are hilarious.
There was so much tape, we didn't know how much, how we could use it all.
I've heard this before.
No, wait till people see it.
So, no, it turned out Dave and I really got along quite, quite well.
Okay.
It was fun, though, and I do, I'm serious, I appreciate being invited to be on
the show.
It's a great show.
Thank you for doing it.
Yeah, thank you.
Which brings me to my appearance here.
I thought it was sort of an honor to be asked to be here your last week.
And I sort of literally got on the plane yesterday and flew here.
And then at some point during the plane trip, I realized, you're really just
moving.
That's right.
If I, if I, I don't have time to visit every friend of mine who's moving.
You know, you're, you're exactly right.
This isn't, this isn't like Carson where I thought, oh, what am I going to sing
Dave, you know?
Sing to Dave, I'll be able to write a poem.
And then on the plane, I realized, what am I doing?
I don't have time to, he's moving, just, he's, I got to go right from here over
to
Robin Byrd's studio.
She's moving over.
So, so, and you're moving to the Ed Sullivan Theater, which, which I have seen,
they, they
show the re, the reruns of Ed Sullivan now.
Excellent audience.
And they're going to be great.
I'm not sure it'll be the same audience, but thanks anyway.
Well, they dress nice.
They're all in suits and, uh, uh, now.
Now, let me interrupt you here for a second.
Yeah, please, I, I, we have to do a commercial, but also in, in, in
talking about, uh, me and our show and us moving to, uh, CBS, I, I think
somehow, as
I recall, you've perhaps figured into that equation or dynamic.
Uh, let, let's cover that in a second.
We have to do a commercial.
You think this over, all right?
Okay.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen, uh, with more of Gary's...
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
Yes, sir!
Attaboy!
Nice going, Paul.
Toad to wet sprocket?
Am I close?
All right.
Something like that.
Spin Doctors!
Yeah, from Seattle.
They're all from Seattle.
Those guys are from Seattle.
Gary Shandling on the program tonight, ladies and gentlemen, and Michelle Schacht.
Now, Gary, what were we talking about?
Can I ask you about your involvement in this show?
In, uh, in, uh, in, uh, in, uh, in late, uh, in NBC?
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Because it seems to me when, when it first seemed like I was going away, Dana
Carvey was
going to host the show.
Oh, hell broke loose.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm sorry.
Uh, and, uh, Dana Carvey was going to be the guy.
Now, let me say that you said when I ended up passing on NBC, which we'll work
backwards
to, but when I was offered and passed, you said, uh, on, on stage one day, you
said, "Well,
Mr. Big Shot passed on 12:30."
No, no.
Very funny.
Yeah, no, I said--
But you're leaving.
I said, I said--
But you're leaving the 12:30 spot.
That's right.
Yeah.
Right.
But did you ever seriously consider this all could now be yours?
Take a look around.
This studio full of fabulous prizes could all be yours now.
Well, I like the clock.
All right.
Give him the clock.
I like the clock.
Yank that off of there and let Gary have that.
Can I have the clock?
Yeah.
Peel that off of there for him.
Can you, can you just--
That really stuck on.
Yeah.
Come on, Gary.
We've used special clock tape on that.
Bust, bust the clock off and give it to Mr. Shandley.
I'd like the, I'd like a piece of memorabilia.
What are you doing with the set?
Conan, Conan can get his own clock.
What are you going to do?
What are you going to do with the set?
While they, while they plot, here we go.
Now we're making some progress.
I think you should tear this apart like a Who concert just at the end.
Come on, bust it off of it.
Oh, I'm not kidding, but I think this is a two-hour job.
I think we should let him work on it.
Oh!
Do you have like a, like a pry bar or something?
All right.
This is not going to come off easily.
Yeah, okay.
What are you going to do with the set?
The set is not ours, too.
It's all NBC.
You should, you should give it--
I think NBC is turning it into a theme park.
You should, I think a nice gesture would be to give it to that woman who breaks
in.
This is, I thought to myself, this will be the simplest task we've undertaken
in a decade.
And now we have a team of six guys working non-stop in shifts in--
Yeah!
Yeah!
Enjoy it.
Stay frozen.
Frozen on this.
What are we doing?
How the, how the hell do I, is it time for, I have no time, I have no idea what
time it is now.
Frozen on the moment of my last appearance.
Oh!
Not only a collector's item, an historical document.
We'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.
Tomorrow night, ladies and gentlemen, our last television program for NBC, we
have another great program.
Tom Hanks, a fine actor and a very nice man will be on the show.
And a very exciting, significant surprise guest.
Who? Who's that?
I can't tell you. I can't tell you. Tom Hanks.
Who is the mystery guest?
Gary Shandling is here tonight, and...
You'd think you'd tell me. I'm like a guest. I'm in the business.
I'll tell you later.
Why can't I know who the guy is?
Did they make you a big offer to take this job?
They made me an offer that was gigantic. It was one-third of yours.
No, no, no.
That's funny. Thank you.
We're all enjoying a good life at my expense.
But seriously, how long...
No, I'm happy for you.
Yeah, but how much...
I'm your biggest fan. Not your biggest fan.
There's probably some nut who has posters of you up.
Well, now you have the clock.
I'm taking that clock.
I have Dave's clock.
Gary, let's take a look at a couple of seconds of the Larry Sanders show.
Great.
Oh, this is Larry, I believe, consumed by his competition, David Letterman,
and reading articles about Dave and talking to his sidekick, Hank.
This is you playing the talk show host, Larry Sanders.
Who is up at 11.30 and is now consumed by the fact that Dave Letterman is
moving to the 11.30 spot.
And in this, he has a patch over his eye.
That's because of something earlier in the episode.
All right.
So don't be thrown by that.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen.
And he's talking to his sidekick.
The Larry Sanders show.
Here we go.
Just have more minutes.
That's all right.
Did you see this Letterman article?
Listen to this.
I'm looking forward.
This is a quote from Letterman.
I'm looking forward to the competition.
That's what will make the show better.
Yeah, but did you read this?
Look what Paul Schaefer says.
I don't care where Dave goes as long as I go with him.
What a little kiss-ass.
All right, boys.
Thanks, Paul.
You know, I wasn't for you taking him with you until that back massage.
You would like to mention that that's Jeffrey Tambor, who plays Hank, who's
exceptionally funny.
You know, in addition to great writing on the show, the cast is terrific.
Well, the cast all the way down the line, I think, is as good as any cast in
television,
and I'm very proud of that.
It's great work.
Well, I hope you'll come back and do the show again.
And the show that I'm on, when is it going to be on the air?
That will be on, right?
When can people see that?
It's coming up, right?
Dad, you did the best show we've ever done.
It's going to be on the cable guide, right?
I can look for it there.
Now, you're going to be opposite.
Okay, we've got to go.
You want to go skip that part?
Good to see you again, Gary.
Gary Scanlon, ladies and gentlemen.
We'll be right back with Michelle Schein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.
We'll be right back with Michelle Shein.