Name: Leo Buscaglia on Letterman, April 22, 1982
Uploaded: 2016-03-30T23:09:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Leo Buscaglia on Letterman, April 22, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-03-30. Transcript available. By request. Leo Buscaglia on Late Night, April 22, 1982.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Leo Buscaglia on Letterman, April 22, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-03-30. Transcript available. By request. Leo Buscaglia on Late Night, April 22, 1982.

Thank you so much. Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen. Dr. Leo Biscaglia
is a
professor of education at the University of Southern California. He teaches one
of the
most popular courses at that school, Love 101. The course is so popular it was
the basis of a PBS
series as well as several books, including Dr. Biscaglia's newest living,
loving, and learning
hold book. A fascinating and invigorating man, please welcome Dr. Leo Biscaglia.
Dr. How are you? Pleasure to meet you. Have a seat.
I am very interested in this. I have to admit I'm a little confused. Let's
start off with some
statistics from your book, okay? All right. On an average day in America, it
says here,
9,077 babies are born, 1,282 are illegitimate and not wanted, 2740 kids run
away from home,
about 1986 couples are divorced, about 69 people commit suicide, someone is
raped every eight
minutes, murder every 27 minutes, and robbed every 76 seconds, a burglar
strikes every 10 seconds,
and the average relationship in America today lasts only three months. That's
why such a book. Okay,
uh, is there, is, is there anything to be done about this? Oh, a lot to be done
about it, really. But,
uh, the responsibility is basically ours, uh, David. And what I'm trying to
talk about in this book is
the fact that, uh, we don't have to have it this way, that only a small
percentage of the population is
running us around in circles. They're not all like this. Basically, they're
like this. You know,
the audience here. Yeah, you're pushing your luck now, doctor. Um, well, let me
ask you about these
statistics. I'm assuming that these are accurate. Yeah, they're accurate. They're,
they, uh, basically,
uh, they've been checked out, and also they're in a book called On an Average
Day in America,
which anybody can check out. Yeah. Uh, now, is this relatively high for a
country that has 240 million,
230 million residents? Uh, are these numbers getting bigger, or? It's high, and
it's getting worse.
Yeah. And, uh, and therefore, my basic concern, you see, the reason I started
teaching this class,
uh, was that, uh, I realized that in a university course, in high school,
whatever, there's nothing,
there's no course called, "Who am I, 1A? What am I doing here?" Yeah. Uh, we
prepare people,
we teach them reading, writing, arithmetic, we release them through the
environment, and we say,
you're on your own now. And, uh, people don't know how to deal with loneliness
and despair.
They don't, uh, know how to deal with pain, and there aren't any teachers for
those things.
Okay. So, now, when you get them to USC, and they sign up for 101, Love 101,
what do you,
I mean, what does that mean? Well, uh, basically, that, that's, uh, uh, the,
the love title was
because of wanting something that encompassed all of human emotions and all of
human experience.
And when we talk about love, we're really talking about life. Okay.
And so, the, uh, the thing is, is I get them together. I don't purport to be
the expert on love,
but I've, I've studied the phenomenon and done research on it for at least the
last 16 years.
So, I know a little bit about what I mean by love and what people have been
talking about in terms
of love. And, and what we do is we sit there and share it. Uh, not love the way
you're looking at me now,
but we, but we, we, uh, we share our knowledge of love. Everybody in this
audience and in yourself
and myself have experienced love in a different way. And, uh, the beauty of it
is that we've all,
we all have had these experiences. They're unique with us. And the wonder is
that we can share them and
maybe grow together in terms of under our understanding because love and my
premise is
that love is a learned phenomenon. Uh, now let me ask you, let's just hold it
right there,
because it seems to me the more you talk here, uh, the more, uh, confused I get,
but that happens
frequently. Um, may have nothing to do with you. Uh, I hope not. Uh, you
actually, people don't know
about love. They don't know about life when you get them in this class or, or
say I come to your class,
what chances are, what am I lacking as a 19 year old kid or whatever? Uh, David,
let me ask you a
question. When is the last time that, uh, you've really sat down and tried to
understand the phenomenon
of love? Certainly you are a lover and you're, you're trying to live as a lover,
uh, in our culture.
When is the last time that you've sat down and asked yourself the question, uh,
what is this thing?
You know, uh, why is it that I'm not, uh, I see what you mean about your
audience, you know? Uh,
but really, uh, we study all, uh, all kinds of things, but the phenomenon of
love is just left
on the shelf. And we're, everyone believes that he or she is a lover and, uh.
Now, when you see,
when you use the word lover, we get, uh, random snickers from, uh, this group
of random snickerers, but, uh,
uh, but you, do you mean actually the act of sexual intercourse? No, I mean, I
mean love. Right. I mean,
uh, the kind of love that, uh, that parents show their children that, um, that
the two of us can relate
on in terms of relating as human beings. But is it the kind of thing that you
have to, uh, sit down and
say, now I'm going to deal with the topic of love? Can't, I mean, can't you
just, isn't it something that you,
well, I'm, I've run out of words. That's the, that's the trouble. Everybody
believes that it is.
You know, recently I was on an airplane and there was a man that was sitting
next to me and he griped
about everything. He griped about, uh, the airline. He griped about the food
that was served. He called
the stewardesses halfwits. Uh, he went, you know, on and on and on. And then he
said,
and, and then he said to me, uh, uh, while, when he knew I was going to be with
him all the way to
New York, he said, uh, uh, what do you do? And so I sort of chuckled. I said, I
teach a class in
love. And he said, wonderful. We need more lovers like you and me. You see,
everyone thinks they're
a lover. No one ever sits down and analyzes what they mean by that. I'm a lover.
So I scream at the
waitress. I'm a lover. So I push people off the sidewalk. That's not a lover.
Hardly. Now,
you also like, you, you like, like touching people, don't you? You bet I do.
Yeah. Well,
you're in the right town for that. Uh, we'll pause. We'll be back here to tuck,
to touch Dr. Leo
Thank you very much. Dr. Leo Miscaglia is here. And we were talking about, um,
teaching of, of love. And also I mentioned that you, uh, advocate touching and,
and how does that
apply in this? Is that part of the class also? Well, we're brought up in a
culture where we're
taught that, uh, we're supposed to extend our hand to people and say, how do
you do? You know? Well,
as far as I'm concerned, that's the distancing phenomenon. I was born in a very
loving, warm Italian
immigrant family. And everybody kissed everybody when they came in, when they
went out. And I never
had any existential problem as to whether I existed or not. If someone could
kiss me and not go through
me, I must exist, you know? And, uh, and then I went out into the world, the
real world. And, uh,
the first letter I ever got from a teacher in the United States was written to
my mother. If you can
envision this, David, she was, uh, an Italian immigrant who could barely read
English. And the
teacher wrote, you must do something about Leo because he's too tactile. You
know, my mother says,
then what's this tactile? And I say, well, I don't know, mama. She said, if you
did something bad,
I'd break your face. Now that's love, you see. And, and so then she, we looked
it up and it said to
touch, to feel. And she said, well, what's wrong with that? You've got a sick
teacher. And it's the truth.
And I've realized that ever since. Uh, um, I feel that when we know
scientifically that when somebody
touches you, fondles you or hold you, uh, you know, embraces you, your hemoglobin
count goes up.
And, and the hemoglobin is that magical stuff that carries the oxygen to the
heart and the brain
and the vital organs. And so you're a healthier person. You should basically
hug at least four times a day.
But, uh, you bet. You mean just people the, uh, that you work with people?
Everybody. Sure. I hugged my
secretary. I hugged my students. I, I hugged the head of Holt Reinhardt today.
And if who hasn't, I mean,
that guy, uh, but you know, I, uh, I have to tell you, I, that, that notion
strikes me as being uncomfortable.
I don't want to hug, uh, most people. Don't you? No, I don't. Now, does that
mean there's something
desperately wrong with me? No, absolutely not. It just means you don't want to
hug somebody. Yeah. Okay.
Well, I'm, uh, you know, I get my hemoglobin up in other ways, I think probably,
but not, not hugging.
Would you like to tell us about that? Well, I think, uh, if, if you hug, if you
hug the one or two people
you want to hug, period, that'll ought to do the same thing, don't you think?
It does a lot. But you
know, there are an awful lot of people out there that need a little hugging.
Yeah. And, uh, you don't lose
anything by doing it and you both gain. Mm-hmm. So why are you reticent? Uh, I
just, I have a, uh,
I don't know. I see a lot of fat people. Uh, well, as an Italian, that appeals
to me. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And I don't mean that. I know it's fine to be fat if you want to be fat.
That's fine. I have
nothing against fat people. I just don't, uh, uh, you know, it's, uh, poor
packaging.
And you're, and, and David, you're hugging not a package. Uh, you're hugging,
uh, a warm, tender,
loving human being. And it hardly matters what the package is. Yeah. Yeah. I
think too often.
I think too often we never go beyond the package and therefore we miss some of
the most beautiful
people in the world. That's true. And, and again, I'm just being silly about
fat people. That's not,
I would hug a fat person. I honestly, I would, um, that's very nice of you.
Okay. Now, um, intimacy,
intimacy. Now, is it, again, does this mean sexual intimacy? No. Um, uh, you
see, the thing that amuses
me is that, uh, almost 90% of the books that have love in the title are
concerning sex. Just recently,
I did a very large study on, on love. And I told people to write in a hierarchical
order,
what keeps love alive and exciting. And you know, amazing, amazingly enough,
when you look around
on the bookstores, sex is way down on the, on the list. You know what, uh, what
the top ones are?
Things like communication, learning to talk to each other, uh, learning to
relate to each other,
intimacy in terms of, of, of seeing each other and writing little notes that
you put
in the refrigerator and you say, uh, I love you. You're a sweetie. Guess who?
You know, uh, stick, stick a little note in his underwear. So when he sits down,
crinkle, crinkle, you know, uh, he pulls it out and it says, uh, you're the
best person I know.
That's, you know, you know, I pulled that once in the head of Holt Reinhart.
Unbelievable. I'm, I'm only being silly here. I guess, uh, I, it's difficult
for me to, well, uh, are
we going away? Are we coming back with the doctor? Yeah, we'll be right back.
Thank you. We're, we're nearly out of time. Uh, uh, short of taking your class
or, uh, I guess you would
like folks to also read the book, but what piece of advice would you like to
see you put into
daily use that would help this problem? Well, if I had one thing to ask, I, I
would ask everybody to
sort of look at themselves and see how many times a day they actually perform a
loving act. And I know
that sounds naive and simple, but, uh, go, don't go to bed at night without
saying that somehow or
other I've, I've left things or people a little bit better for my having
existed. Uh, that would
make me extremely happy. Whether they read the book or not would make no
difference. But this is also
just a form of basic consideration for other folks walking around on the planet,
right? Love is basic.
Love is simple, David. We're the complicated ones. Uh, I enjoyed talking with
you. Dr. Leo Biscaglia,
thank you very much for being here. The book is entitled Living, Loving, and
Learning.

Leo Buscaglia on Letterman, April 22, 1982

Thank you so much. Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen. Dr. Leo Biscaglia
is a
professor of education at the University of Southern California. He teaches one
of the
most popular courses at that school, Love 101. The course is so popular it was
the basis of a PBS
series as well as several books, including Dr. Biscaglia's newest living,
loving, and learning
hold book. A fascinating and invigorating man, please welcome Dr. Leo Biscaglia.
Dr. How are you? Pleasure to meet you. Have a seat.
I am very interested in this. I have to admit I'm a little confused. Let's
start off with some
statistics from your book, okay? All right. On an average day in America, it
says here,
9,077 babies are born, 1,282 are illegitimate and not wanted, 2740 kids run
away from home,
about 1986 couples are divorced, about 69 people commit suicide, someone is
raped every eight
minutes, murder every 27 minutes, and robbed every 76 seconds, a burglar
strikes every 10 seconds,
and the average relationship in America today lasts only three months. That's
why such a book. Okay,
uh, is there, is, is there anything to be done about this? Oh, a lot to be done
about it, really. But,
uh, the responsibility is basically ours, uh, David. And what I'm trying to
talk about in this book is
the fact that, uh, we don't have to have it this way, that only a small
percentage of the population is
running us around in circles. They're not all like this. Basically, they're
like this. You know,
the audience here. Yeah, you're pushing your luck now, doctor. Um, well, let me
ask you about these
statistics. I'm assuming that these are accurate. Yeah, they're accurate. They're,
they, uh, basically,
uh, they've been checked out, and also they're in a book called On an Average
Day in America,
which anybody can check out. Yeah. Uh, now, is this relatively high for a
country that has 240 million,
230 million residents? Uh, are these numbers getting bigger, or? It's high, and
it's getting worse.
Yeah. And, uh, and therefore, my basic concern, you see, the reason I started
teaching this class,
uh, was that, uh, I realized that in a university course, in high school,
whatever, there's nothing,
there's no course called, "Who am I, 1A? What am I doing here?" Yeah. Uh, we
prepare people,
we teach them reading, writing, arithmetic, we release them through the
environment, and we say,
you're on your own now. And, uh, people don't know how to deal with loneliness
and despair.
They don't, uh, know how to deal with pain, and there aren't any teachers for
those things.
Okay. So, now, when you get them to USC, and they sign up for 101, Love 101,
what do you,
I mean, what does that mean? Well, uh, basically, that, that's, uh, uh, the,
the love title was
because of wanting something that encompassed all of human emotions and all of
human experience.
And when we talk about love, we're really talking about life. Okay.
And so, the, uh, the thing is, is I get them together. I don't purport to be
the expert on love,
but I've, I've studied the phenomenon and done research on it for at least the
last 16 years.
So, I know a little bit about what I mean by love and what people have been
talking about in terms
of love. And, and what we do is we sit there and share it. Uh, not love the way
you're looking at me now,
but we, but we, we, uh, we share our knowledge of love. Everybody in this
audience and in yourself
and myself have experienced love in a different way. And, uh, the beauty of it
is that we've all,
we all have had these experiences. They're unique with us. And the wonder is
that we can share them and
maybe grow together in terms of under our understanding because love and my
premise is
that love is a learned phenomenon. Uh, now let me ask you, let's just hold it
right there,
because it seems to me the more you talk here, uh, the more, uh, confused I get,
but that happens
frequently. Um, may have nothing to do with you. Uh, I hope not. Uh, you
actually, people don't know
about love. They don't know about life when you get them in this class or, or
say I come to your class,
what chances are, what am I lacking as a 19 year old kid or whatever? Uh, David,
let me ask you a
question. When is the last time that, uh, you've really sat down and tried to
understand the phenomenon
of love? Certainly you are a lover and you're, you're trying to live as a lover,
uh, in our culture.
When is the last time that you've sat down and asked yourself the question, uh,
what is this thing?
You know, uh, why is it that I'm not, uh, I see what you mean about your
audience, you know? Uh,
but really, uh, we study all, uh, all kinds of things, but the phenomenon of
love is just left
on the shelf. And we're, everyone believes that he or she is a lover and, uh.
Now, when you see,
when you use the word lover, we get, uh, random snickers from, uh, this group
of random snickerers, but, uh,
uh, but you, do you mean actually the act of sexual intercourse? No, I mean, I
mean love. Right. I mean,
uh, the kind of love that, uh, that parents show their children that, um, that
the two of us can relate
on in terms of relating as human beings. But is it the kind of thing that you
have to, uh, sit down and
say, now I'm going to deal with the topic of love? Can't, I mean, can't you
just, isn't it something that you,
well, I'm, I've run out of words. That's the, that's the trouble. Everybody
believes that it is.
You know, recently I was on an airplane and there was a man that was sitting
next to me and he griped
about everything. He griped about, uh, the airline. He griped about the food
that was served. He called
the stewardesses halfwits. Uh, he went, you know, on and on and on. And then he
said,
and, and then he said to me, uh, uh, while, when he knew I was going to be with
him all the way to
New York, he said, uh, uh, what do you do? And so I sort of chuckled. I said, I
teach a class in
love. And he said, wonderful. We need more lovers like you and me. You see,
everyone thinks they're
a lover. No one ever sits down and analyzes what they mean by that. I'm a lover.
So I scream at the
waitress. I'm a lover. So I push people off the sidewalk. That's not a lover.
Hardly. Now,
you also like, you, you like, like touching people, don't you? You bet I do.
Yeah. Well,
you're in the right town for that. Uh, we'll pause. We'll be back here to tuck,
to touch Dr. Leo
Thank you very much. Dr. Leo Miscaglia is here. And we were talking about, um,
teaching of, of love. And also I mentioned that you, uh, advocate touching and,
and how does that
apply in this? Is that part of the class also? Well, we're brought up in a
culture where we're
taught that, uh, we're supposed to extend our hand to people and say, how do
you do? You know? Well,
as far as I'm concerned, that's the distancing phenomenon. I was born in a very
loving, warm Italian
immigrant family. And everybody kissed everybody when they came in, when they
went out. And I never
had any existential problem as to whether I existed or not. If someone could
kiss me and not go through
me, I must exist, you know? And, uh, and then I went out into the world, the
real world. And, uh,
the first letter I ever got from a teacher in the United States was written to
my mother. If you can
envision this, David, she was, uh, an Italian immigrant who could barely read
English. And the
teacher wrote, you must do something about Leo because he's too tactile. You
know, my mother says,
then what's this tactile? And I say, well, I don't know, mama. She said, if you
did something bad,
I'd break your face. Now that's love, you see. And, and so then she, we looked
it up and it said to
touch, to feel. And she said, well, what's wrong with that? You've got a sick
teacher. And it's the truth.
And I've realized that ever since. Uh, um, I feel that when we know
scientifically that when somebody
touches you, fondles you or hold you, uh, you know, embraces you, your hemoglobin
count goes up.
And, and the hemoglobin is that magical stuff that carries the oxygen to the
heart and the brain
and the vital organs. And so you're a healthier person. You should basically
hug at least four times a day.
But, uh, you bet. You mean just people the, uh, that you work with people?
Everybody. Sure. I hugged my
secretary. I hugged my students. I, I hugged the head of Holt Reinhardt today.
And if who hasn't, I mean,
that guy, uh, but you know, I, uh, I have to tell you, I, that, that notion
strikes me as being uncomfortable.
I don't want to hug, uh, most people. Don't you? No, I don't. Now, does that
mean there's something
desperately wrong with me? No, absolutely not. It just means you don't want to
hug somebody. Yeah. Okay.
Well, I'm, uh, you know, I get my hemoglobin up in other ways, I think probably,
but not, not hugging.
Would you like to tell us about that? Well, I think, uh, if, if you hug, if you
hug the one or two people
you want to hug, period, that'll ought to do the same thing, don't you think?
It does a lot. But you
know, there are an awful lot of people out there that need a little hugging.
Yeah. And, uh, you don't lose
anything by doing it and you both gain. Mm-hmm. So why are you reticent? Uh, I
just, I have a, uh,
I don't know. I see a lot of fat people. Uh, well, as an Italian, that appeals
to me. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. And I don't mean that. I know it's fine to be fat if you want to be fat.
That's fine. I have
nothing against fat people. I just don't, uh, uh, you know, it's, uh, poor
packaging.
And you're, and, and David, you're hugging not a package. Uh, you're hugging,
uh, a warm, tender,
loving human being. And it hardly matters what the package is. Yeah. Yeah. I
think too often.
I think too often we never go beyond the package and therefore we miss some of
the most beautiful
people in the world. That's true. And, and again, I'm just being silly about
fat people. That's not,
I would hug a fat person. I honestly, I would, um, that's very nice of you.
Okay. Now, um, intimacy,
intimacy. Now, is it, again, does this mean sexual intimacy? No. Um, uh, you
see, the thing that amuses
me is that, uh, almost 90% of the books that have love in the title are
concerning sex. Just recently,
I did a very large study on, on love. And I told people to write in a hierarchical
order,
what keeps love alive and exciting. And you know, amazing, amazingly enough,
when you look around
on the bookstores, sex is way down on the, on the list. You know what, uh, what
the top ones are?
Things like communication, learning to talk to each other, uh, learning to
relate to each other,
intimacy in terms of, of, of seeing each other and writing little notes that
you put
in the refrigerator and you say, uh, I love you. You're a sweetie. Guess who?
You know, uh, stick, stick a little note in his underwear. So when he sits down,
crinkle, crinkle, you know, uh, he pulls it out and it says, uh, you're the
best person I know.
That's, you know, you know, I pulled that once in the head of Holt Reinhart.
Unbelievable. I'm, I'm only being silly here. I guess, uh, I, it's difficult
for me to, well, uh, are
we going away? Are we coming back with the doctor? Yeah, we'll be right back.
Thank you. We're, we're nearly out of time. Uh, uh, short of taking your class
or, uh, I guess you would
like folks to also read the book, but what piece of advice would you like to
see you put into
daily use that would help this problem? Well, if I had one thing to ask, I, I
would ask everybody to
sort of look at themselves and see how many times a day they actually perform a
loving act. And I know
that sounds naive and simple, but, uh, go, don't go to bed at night without
saying that somehow or
other I've, I've left things or people a little bit better for my having
existed. Uh, that would
make me extremely happy. Whether they read the book or not would make no
difference. But this is also
just a form of basic consideration for other folks walking around on the planet,
right? Love is basic.
Love is simple, David. We're the complic