Name: Denise Matthews (Vanity) on Letterman, March 25, 1985
Uploaded: 2016-04-29T03:31:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Denise Matthews (Vanity) on Letterman, March 25, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-04-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Denise Matthews (Vanity) on Letterman, March 25, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-04-29. Transcript available.

My first guest tonight, oh, you're in store for something exciting now.
She was the name behind the group Vanity Six.
She is currently starring in a new film called The Last Dragon,
and she's on a first-name basis with Prince.
Please welcome Vanity.
Hi, how are you? Nice to see you.
Come on over. Yeah, you gotta come around over there.
Hmm, boy. Hello. Nice to see you.
You've seen all of me, haven't you?
Now, what motif is this? Describe for me the nature of this...
This is a corset. A corset?
Yes, I got it at Trashy Lingerie.
And you have feathers tucked right down inside it there.
This is Gorilla Fur. Oh, it is Gorilla Fur.
Yeah. Well, of course.
Well, of course.
Nothing says loving like Gorilla Fur, you know?
I have a complete Gorilla coat.
It's the wild animal. I call him the wild.
It's not actual Gorilla Fur, is it?
Yes, it's all Gorilla, yes.
Oh, so you shouldn't be doing that.
Well, I didn't kill him. He's about 100 years old.
Of course, he's in good condition.
This gorilla died a natural death?
I don't know. I wasn't around 100 years ago.
How do you know he's 100 years old?
Well, it's an art deco coat.
I mean, they don't kill them anymore.
Oh, the coat is 100 years old.
Yeah. The gorilla is.
No, but isn't that an uncomfortable notion, knowing you're wearing the fur of
an animal?
Well, I think he's got a good home.
Well...
It's not a problem. I have a picture to show you.
Here's my gorilla.
You see? Right here.
See how nicely he lays on my body?
What publication is this?
This is Stern, magazine published in Germany, isn't it?
Yeah.
Is that correct?
Now, this is not you on the front, is it?
Yes.
Oh, it is?
Yes.
Well, good Lord.
Don't say that now.
Well, you're not wearing anything here, are you?
Yes, I'm wearing feathers. Those are feathers.
No, that's something painted on.
Oh, it's been painted on.
I'll just do a real quick one. Look at that.
Oh, you're not allowed to do that, are you?
Well, you did it.
Yeah. Now, speaking of that, you brought up the magazines, I was going through
the May issue
of Playboy, and you're in here as well.
I heard. I heard.
And you haven't seen this yet?
Yes, I did.
I did that about five years ago, I think.
Oh, really? You didn't do this recently?
No, my body isn't as bad as that.
Oh, yeah. This is a frightful body here. This is...
Well, it's much nicer over there, isn't it?
Well, jeez, I got better things to do. Come to think of it, I don't have better
things to do.
What am I saying? I got better things to do than compare pictures of this woman
naked.
Well, they both seem to work, you know.
But now, tell me about doing it five years ago. Why did you do it five years
ago?
I was poor. I needed the money.
Oh, no, you didn't. Now, people always say that, but you really...
How much money did you get paid for those pictures?
I can't remember. I really can't.
What, $500? $1,000?
Oh, more than that.
$2,000?
A little more than that.
$2,500?
A lot more than that.
$5,000?
Yeah.
Um, somewhere around there.
But, you know, did you ever think about getting a waitressing job?
I had one.
And you...
I had one.
I had one.
But you needed a lot more money quick.
Yeah, but, I mean, it didn't bother me when I did this.
Well, no, of course it didn't.
As a matter of fact, I did with my boyfriend at the time, Danielle Poulain.
He was a photographer.
Uh-huh.
And so we kind of enjoyed it.
I'll bet you did.
Now, what is the smoke? Explain the smoke there.
That's not smoke, that's steam.
Oh, God.
I like your haircut.
Sorry, your salute to the nation's relatives.
All right, well enough of this nonsense.
We have to do a commercial, and then we'll come back, and I have other
questions to ask you.
I think I'll come up with something.
We'll be right back.
The name of the movie is Last Dragon.
Yes, it is.
Tell me about that.
Barry Gordy's Last Dragon.
It's a martial arts, it's a contemporary fantasy tale.
It's full of fun, and as a matter of fact, it made five and a half million
dollars just this weekend.
And what part do you play in this contemporary fantasy tale?
I play a video DJ.
A video DJ?
Yes, I fall in love with this martial artist, Tai Mok, who's in search of the
glow.
Oh, I'm sorry, a martial arts?
Martial art.
Martial artist.
His name is Tai Mok.
Oh, Tai Mok.
And he's Leroy in the film.
And he does funny things like he eats popcorn with chopsticks and stuff like
that.
He thinks he's Chinese instead of...
And what is the plot exactly?
You and this guy are doing what?
He's in search of the glow.
Actually, he's in search of the master, which most of us are in search of the
leader, you
know, something like that in our lives, and which he finally finds out that it's
inside
of him, which makes a lot of sense.
Is this a serious film?
No, not at all.
As a matter of fact, it's very funny.
Well, it sounded very serious there.
It's very funny.
Oh, it's very funny.
I do, but the way you were describing it, it sounded like it was a very
philosophical
sort of a treat.
Yes, it is.
It's philosophical as far as him looking for, you know, the master inside
himself.
Why are you looking at me that way?
Well, I don't know.
I guess I misunderstood about the film.
I didn't realize it.
I thought it was kind of a lighthearted fart.
It is.
It is.
Lighthearted fart.
Put a T on the other.
No, no, no.
Now, tell me a little bit about your relationship with Prince.
Do you still see him?
Are you guys friendly?
No.
You're not friendly?
No, we're not friendly.
We don't see each other, but we're friendly when we see each other and say
hello and stuff.
When was the last time you said hello to him?
The American Music Awards, when I gave him the Purple Rain Award for his album.
Now, coincidentally, that's where you met.
Is that correct?
Yes, yes.
How many years ago did you meet?
Hmm.
I guess about four years ago, three years ago, three and a half years ago.
And it was his idea to make you an act, to make you and the other people in Vanity
Six a group, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
He also picked out your name?
Yes, he did.
And it was his idea that you performed in lingerie on stage?
Well, it was basically, I think, all of our ideas.
Now, wait a minute.
But who had the idea first?
Let me ask you this.
Has it always been a dream of yours to perform in your underwear?
Well, one night...
Well, one night he saw me in my underwear and...
Now, wait a minute.
And he wanted to know if I wanted to perform it.
And I thought it was a great idea.
Now, what kind of guy is this?
Now, how long were you and Prince together as romantically connected?
Two and a half years, maybe, on and off.
Now, what about Purple Rain was about your life with Prince, right?
Right.
But it was played by Apollonia.
Right.
Now, what about...
Now, who is Sheila E.?
Where is she in the grand scheme of things?
Well, she's currently on the road with Prince right now.
She opens up for Prince.
I see.
He produces...
So he's no longer with Apollonia.
He's now with Sheila E.
Gosh, I don't really know the...
There ought to be some kind of update service you can get to...
There probably is.
You probably have a telephone line, a direct line to it, like Michael Jackson.
You're going to find out all the...
Now, but are the three of you women in your relationships to Prince similar
relationships?
I don't know what type of relationships they have with him.
I only know my own.
Seriously, I...
But I know Sheila E.
And I know Apollonia, so...
They're nice people?
Yes, they are.
Yeah.
Quite nice.
Very smart and very talented.
Yeah.
So, you like being famous?
Yes, I do.
Yeah?
Do people come up to you and bother you on the streets?
Yes, they do.
Yeah, and what do you say to them when they come up to you?
Bother me.
Uh, all right.
The, um...
I hear that Paul wanted to play with me.
I heard...
Can't deny that, Vanity.
Well, you're just going to have to wait in line.
I heard you did.
No, I heard you...
I heard you...
I like the way you guys play my, um, song Nasty Girls.
Sounds good.
We, uh...
You know, any time.
Maybe a...
Maybe a little club gig late at night sometime.
We could do it.
Uh, nice...
Nice meeting you.
I hope things go very...
Continue to go very well for you.
Are you kicking me off now?
No, you can say if you want, but we're just done.
Oh.
Well, I really enjoy you.
Well, thank you very much.
It's awfully nice of you to say, and you're, uh, sweet to talk to us.
We'll be, uh, right back here, folks.
We'll be, uh, we'll be, uh, we'll be, uh, we'll be...