Name: Michael Keaton on Letterman, 1982-83
Uploaded: 2016-04-30T02:05:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Michael Keaton on Letterman, 1982-83' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-04-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Michael Keaton on Letterman, 1982-83' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-04-30. Transcript available.

Michael Keaton on Letterman, 1982-83

Michael Keaton is a very talented comedian and actor. He is currently filming a
new movie called Night Shift. I believe some of that was filmed right here in
New York City. He will soon be seen on a brand new television series in which
he is the star entitled Report to Murphy. Please welcome Michael Keaton.
This isn't going to leave a ring here, is it? No, that's all right. Go right
ahead. How you doing? I'm doing all right. Was that right? Was this a motion
picture Night Shift shot largely in New York City? It was shot. Some of it was
shot in New York City. Largely it was shot. We had to go back to Los Angeles
and do it. Can I do something real quick? Surely. I knew you'd say it. Open
kind of guy. I just have to read this.
Now this comes from Bazooka Joe. This is a comic. I got to tell you. Reading on
the plane, were you? Yeah. Just knocking them off. And I read, I must read 15,
20 things like that. I knock them off. I go through these things. And I got, no
one, I don't care who you are, you can't put these things down. You know when
you open up and you kind of put the, by the way, but you got the gum. It's put
in here. It was Martin on it, so it's up to you if you want to eat that in
there.
I don't care who you are, you can't put them down. I mean, you could be Haig.
You could be Alexander Haig. You could be at a press conference saying, uh,
funds to El Salvador?
Yeah, just a minute.
Yeah, I think we shouldn't have a problem.
Except I'm reading this one, and this is very funny. I just got to read it to
you, okay? So just let me know. It takes a couple minutes.
Can you see?
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's a picture of Bazooka Joe throwing a, with a clock, throwing it out a
window, right?
He's got that little, you know, turtleneck up over his thing.
I was wondering how anyone could have said what he said anyway, you know what I
mean?
Anyway, Tubby's sitting next to him saying, hey, Bazooka Joe, why are you
throwing that clock out the window?
Right.
All right.
But Bazooka Joe looks at him and says, I wanted to see time fly.
I know, I know. No, wait. No, wait. It's just, it's not over, so.
He looks back at him and says, time? It's a rather ethereal subject, isn't it?
He looks back at him and says, what's up yet? Depends on how one views time.
If one sees time cosmically in a straight line, intercepted by a series of
events, or going on into infinity.
And then Joe comes back with something I think is pretty clever. He says, he
says, yes, but wasn't it Eugene O'Neill who said, weary am I of the tumult,
sick of the madding crowd, pining for far-seeing places where the soul may
think aloud.
And then Tubby just throws his hands up and says, hey, I'm sorry I asked.
I remember when there was just a couple of dumb guys talking. Now it's pretty
heavy, interesting stuff. So was the movie enjoyably? Did you like to make the
movie?
Truly, yeah, it was really wonderful. It was truly wonderful. It's a wonderful,
warm experience. It was a lot of fun, and it's always fun to come to New York
anyway, you know, it's really a treat to see you in New York, because it's just,
I mean, I know it's been said a thousand ways, a million times, but it's really
a fun place to be.
An example is, I saw a squirrel, this is the truth, in Central Park, a squirrel
dragging a slice of pizza up to his house. Dragging a piece, and I think he's
got a little scent and a couple of beers up there, a little bit easier, you
gotta watch it on the top of your hands, it's like, someone's blazing, but we
came in, it got really cold the whole weekend, and you forget, when you live, I
live in California now, and your blood gets thin, and you kind of get to be a sissy,
and when you come back, the cold weather really gets you, man, you know, like
we came in, I remember I came back home for Christmas once in Pittsburgh.
And the pilot said, welcome to Pittsburgh, the temperature is currently three
degrees, three degrees, I thought I was like, three degrees, why have any, you
know?
Just round it off, what the heck, did you, now that you have a, you know what I
like, a lot of times people go on television shows, they bring the outtakes of
their film, do you have any, but that of course means things didn't make it to
the final level.
No, you know what we can do, though, I just thought this was the last minute,
we don't, I couldn't bring any, I was supposed to bring some, but I don't know
what's this, I don't think we can do, I can draw you some of the things that
happen real quick, like scenes, alright, can we just do that?
That'd be great.
And then we say, like, we're out, can you see any of these? We're outside,
there was like a tree, and like, I'm running here, like, this is a guy after me,
you know, and you can see him kind of like, he's going, hey, stop, like this,
right?
You see, and my car is like going around this, like, now I'll show you, okay,
so this is like my car, alright, right there, and it's like, there's smoke, and
I'm like, and it's like, so you gotta get the motion out of it, and it's a
chasing fight, it pushes me off, that's unbelievable, it seems very exciting, I'll
be going to see that.
Tell me, uh, tell me about your new series, Report to Murphy.
Report to Murphy.
We did it, uh, Michael, sit up, look at your slump.
Okay, in November?
He's right, he is right.
We did it in, uh, November.
We shot November, and then I remember we did four.
We actually started out with four.
Whoa!
And, uh, no.
Pilot, and then it said, why not shoot five, I don't know, a sucker or
something.
CBS, yes, CBS, suckers.
Suckers, yeah.
Whereas NBC, yes, and, and we did five of them, and they were, they were good,
and it starts April 5th on Monday.
Who else in the, uh, extravaganza?
Nobody, just me.
Just you.
Just me.
Just you.
I do a lot of this stuff.
A lot of those, yeah.
Kind of like the old John Nagy show, where you teach people to draw.
You know what, it's not even where the Academy Awards, right?
That's right, that's right.
And I was thinking, and I was thinking, now that I've done a movie, you just
start to look at movies differently.
You know, you start to look at different, you know, technically, angles, and,
you think about the story.
For instance, Red's, a wonderful movie.
Am I right?
I don't know.
I can take your word for it.
It is a good movie, and it's a study of John Reed, and so you follow John Reed's
life.
It was apparently Kremlin.
Well, the problem for me was, I don't think they ever really covered the story
of his wife,
Donna.
No.
You know, you know, you know, you know, you're getting into the Kremlin with a
little
skirt and a thing around there.
You're going to be home for dinner?
It's a revolution here, honey!
I like the old movies like the Garfield.
You know, John Garfield, and I always kind of take control as a big John Garfield
fan.
Am I getting a signal there?
We're going to pause here, but you want to continue?
I'll tell you what, we'll pause.
Pick it up.
If you can pick it up when I come back.
We'll be right back with Mr. Michael Keaton.
Thank you, John.
Thank you.
We're going to go.
I want to thank John Anderson, Robert Truex, of course, my good friend, Mr.
Michael Keaton,
Report to Murphy, coming up.
Paul Schaefer in the band, of course, Bill Wendell, and the wonderful studio
audience.
Tomorrow night, you've got to be here, cartoonist Gann Wilson from Love, Sydney,
Slusi Kurtz, and Andy Kaufman.
Have a good night, folks.
Thank you for being here.
Bye.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to our Salute to Summer Gala, and boy, what
fun we're
having here.
The last time my next guest, actually my first guest, was on our show, he was a
stand-up
comedian and a television performer.
He is both of those things still.
But since then, he has also become a major motion picture star, getting rave
reviews all
over the country for his part in the new comedy film, Night Shift.
We're very happy that he's back with us tonight.
Please give a special summer salute welcome to Mr. Michael Keaton.
Mr. Michael, I don't have a t-shirt, but I wasn't going to, you know, go
against the
theme of the show.
No, you're perfect.
Plus, with that heat in here, you know, Paul, we never officially met, but I
think you've
got to agree with me.
When I look at that, it makes me think of one place.
I think you know what I'm talking about.
Where would that be?
Bermuda!
It's a cuckoo kind of Bermuda.
Sure, right.
Michael, that was...
I've never met you, but yet we in the business, we know each other anyway, isn't
it?
In the industry, you mean it.
I think you mean the industry.
You've met David, though, right?
Is it?
Oh, hi.
You know, that was a mighty impressive entrance you made.
I used to be able to do push-ups.
As you did it?
Yeah, for my hands, but I don't think I can do it anymore.
Yeah, well, this is all very exciting.
You are, every review I see of this film, or on TV or newspapers, it singles
you out as
being a major comedy talent and breakthrough cinema, on and on and on, and
congratulations.
Thanks.
I might be too big for this.
What am I doing?
No, it is.
It's unbelievable.
It is.
It's too unbelievable.
You know, like I was telling you before, it's only one movie, folks.
You know, it's really nice, though.
I mean, I just, I'm overwhelmed, and it's great.
Now, fortunately, there's a clip, right?
I hate to be real show-busy about this, but we did bring a clip.
You know, we have run so much footage of this film.
We've had Ronnie Howard on.
We had Richard Belzer on.
Who else was on?
Bergman, I think.
A guy who worked on the crew came in.
He had some film.
A guy who saw it came in, had some film.
But tonight, you're the reason for the success of the film.
You're here, whatever you want to show us.
Okay, well, I'll set it up like, you know, you've got to understand it.
What happens is we get into a business.
My partner, Henry Winkler, who is wonderful in this movie,
we both get into this business together, and we get in a little over our heads,
and we run up against some thugs, as you'll see.
And what this is is a chase scene that, for my money, I mean, I think we're,
it rivals Bullet, because it's, I mean it.
It's just exciting and just way to go now.
So this is a few moments now from Night Shift with Michael Keaton,
and, as he said, this sucker smokes.
This one, now we look up here.
Watch it, yeah, and we can make us talk a little.
There I am now.
See, there I am.
Oh, my God.
Look out.
Those are those guys who got up against, yeah.
Now, this is me.
I ran into a problem with a lot.
Oh, my God.
You do your own stunts, don't you, Michael?
I did my own stunts on this, yeah.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, that's me.
Oh, don't think that didn't hurt, Dave.
Woo!
Woo.
Yeah, look out.
Oh, this is my favorite part.
That's amazing.
Well, all goofing around aside, congratulations on your success.
Yeah, this is summertime.
This is great.
This is nice themes, you know?
Yeah, it's a theme.
A little theme show.
Ball, baseball?
Baseball, sure.
You're a ball fan.
Now, were you always a movie fan?
Yeah, yeah.
I was a kid who used to sit around the house a lot and, you know, stare in the
television
and just watch those old John Garfield movies, you know, a lot of jam stuck to
my face.
I used to get sucked right in.
I used to, you know, I loved, I watched just before I came over here, they run
The Little
Rascals here, I think, on W.O.R. or something, and I was noticing The Little Rascals
always
made that same expression when anything out of the ordinary happened.
Every time something out of the ordinary happened, they always went.
But Garfield and those guys, Cagney, oh, they were my faves.
Yeah.
Ray faves, they had that great style, you know, that great acting style.
John Garfield, you can always tell when John Garfield was lying, though,
because he always
kind of gave it away, you know what I mean?
Come on, Johnny, play ball with us.
You tell us about the murder, and we'll knock a couple years off your sentence,
and sing
sing, and 