Name: Tomas Alvarez, Cigar Roller, on Letterman, September 9, 1985
Uploaded: 2016-05-09T02:02:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tomas Alvarez, Cigar Roller, on Letterman, September 9, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tomas Alvarez, Cigar Roller, on Letterman, September 9, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-05-09. Transcript available.

Thank you, boys. Thank you so much.
Tomorrow on this program, ladies and gentlemen, comedian Rita Rudner will be
here.
We'll have a science fair demonstration, and from Duran Duran, Simon Le Bon
will be joining us.
That's tomorrow. My next guest, is he going to play with the band, Paul?
I don't think so.
No?
We should try to talk him into doing a little something.
Yeah, yeah, save Terry's music.
Yeah, all right.
Well, this is incredible.
My next guest has spent the last, not 58, 68 years rolling cigars, and boy, are
his arms tired.
From the Villazan Cigar Company in Tampa, Florida, please welcome Mr. Tomas Alvarez.
Tomas.
Now, is this statistic correct? You've been rolling cigars for 68 years?
That's right, since I was 14 years old.
14 years old.
I was born in 1904.
Were you born in this?
In Florida.
Yeah. I think a lot of people, myself included, are perhaps under the
impression that people rolling cigars are from Cuba originally.
No, Tampa used to be a cigar city.
And during that time, they only had the cigar industry there.
There was no other industry.
Everybody learned to be a cigar maker, see?
So it didn't make any difference if they were from Cuba or not?
No, no.
They came from Cuba.
Oh, they did come from Cuba?
Yeah, yeah.
The majority of the cigar makers, they came from Cuba.
So you're one of the few Americans rolling cigars?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
I was born in Tampa.
You were born in Tampa.
And how many of these can you make in a day?
I make 125, someday 150.
And what does it depend on?
What's the difference?
How long your lunch is, I guess, huh?
Tomas, now, is this pretty much what you work at there in Tampa, a table like
this?
No, it's got a little channel here, like a gutter.
A little gutter there for the scraps?
So all the stuff goes in there, see?
But other than that, this is similar to the setup.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But up here, we stand it up, you know, and you've got a board here, and you
stand this
up, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Probably have a telephone on the desk somewhere, too?
No, no, no.
Okay.
No telephone.
All right.
Show us how you do this.
What do you begin with?
Well, it began here with what they call it, a banda.
They call it a banda.
Banda?
Yeah.
This is the body, part of the body of the cigar.
Now, where does this tobacco come from?
It comes from Honduras, Central America.
Uh-huh.
It's grown there.
Grown there.
But the seeds for the tobacco came from where?
From Cuba.
Uh-huh.
And when did the seeds, when were the seeds last in Cuba?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But, I mean, the seeds are, I mean...
I don't know about that.
I know how to make my little torpedoes, you know.
This is the one that I make.
That's a beautiful one.
I made a wall of gold up here about five minutes ago.
All right.
Well, we'll hang on to that one.
But what I'm getting at, the origin of the tobacco in these cigars is maybe
close to 30 years old, right?
It's got that kind of a history.
What?
30 years.
Do you, uh...
Do you know, ain't misbehavin' in G?
Paul, take it away.
No, but what...
Now, let me try this again.
The seed in...
After the revolution in Cuba.
Oh.
The seed people who were making cigars there took the seeds with them and left
the country.
That's right.
Yeah.
And then they planted it in Honduras.
That's right.
And so this tobacco is a descendant of seeds originally planted in Cuba.
Yeah.
Well, there you go.
Okay.
All right.
Now, this is the bandit.
This is the core of the cigar.
This is the body of the cigar there.
The body of the cigar.
All right.
And this is what they call the long filler.
The long filler.
Now, what is the difference between the two kinds of tobacco?
Well, they're all the same tobacco.
Here's where you blame your filler.
See?
Well, the light one and the dark one and all like that.
That gives you the taste?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That gives you a taste.
Okay.
We...
You smoke one of them and...
We got to get going, Tomas.
I've wasted too much time here on this, and I'm sorry.
So what we really want to do is watch you work.
Yeah.
I guess.
Do you smoke a lot of cigars yourself?
When I finish working.
You cannot smoke a cigar.
You cannot smoke a cigar working.
Why is that?
Because how can you hold a cigar in your hand and make a cigar?
That's the body of the cigar here.
You got to know the amount that you put a little bit more up here than up here
because it's like a torpedo.
Oh, this is the kind that you showed us earlier.
That's right.
It's going to end up looking like that.
You roll it like that, see?
Yeah.
And then you put it up here in this mold here, like that, and you press it for
about 20 minutes.
Is all this done by hand, or is there a machine that helps out?
No, this is all by hand.
Uh-huh.
And then here's when it's already pressed, see?
Yeah.
All right.
See, now I trim it in this, fix it up, make the shape of the torpedo.
Torpedo?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cut it up here to be the measure of six inches.
Now, is that the finished product?
No.
No.
Now I'll go with the main part.
Here's what they call a wrapper.
Uh-huh.
Also tobacco?
All tobacco.
But from a different plant?
No, no, no.
Same plant?
The same seed, but different, one grows thicker and the other grows thinner,
see?
Uh-huh.
Now, do you select the tobacco for these, or does somebody else do that?
No, no, they select the opposite.
Okay.
Who are the guys?
Well, I don't know the guy.
It's the same way it works here at NBC, don't you?
Yeah, what they call a blade.
A blade.
A blade?
That's how you trim the wrapper?
Yeah, see how I blade?
Uh-huh.
You cut the edge.
Do you enjoy this kind of work, Tomas?
Sure.
Do you enjoy this kind of work?
Yeah.
Yeah.
See?
Where I got this, this is already fixed up.
Yeah?
See?
Do you use any glue in keeping the, oh, yeah, that's a vegetable glue.
Well, now, what kind of glue is that?
Vegetable glue.
Vegetable glue.
Yeah.
Now, is that harmful?
No taste, no smell.
Uh-huh.
Then you roll it like that, you know?
You come up here to this place here, you turn it around.
Chop it off.
We're about ready to go, aren't we?
Chop it off.
Give the sizes, you know?
Now, here's the main part.
Make that, make that little round, beautiful head.
68 years he's been.
68 years, and I'll be 82.
You're not 82, are you?
I'll be in the end of the world.
I was born 1904.
You're in remarkable shape for someone 82 years old.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Come to think of it, you're in remarkable shape for someone my age.
Now, you've got to be like your doctor.
See, when they take the penis out, see?
Cut it here, cut it there, cut it here again, break it back again.
Now, you've got to form that little bottom.
Now, what are you doing that?
You're making it so it all lays?
They call that shape cigar.
Uh-huh.
Oh, I see.
This will be the shape of the cigar.
Uh-huh.
All right.
We're just about there.
Then you turn this one on the top like that.
Uh-huh.
See?
Do you ever for...
Then you cut it.
Do you ever for the fun of it, Tomas, put a little gunpowder in one of those?
No, no, no.
No.
Kind of a joke.
See, now when they...
Oh, that's a beauty.
That's unbelievable.
You get them, let them dry, and this one's already dry.
See, I made it about five minutes ago, see?
All right.
It's complete different.
That's what you call a...
Uh, death of crack.
This is a tasty cigar?
Yes, sir.
All right.
It's a pleasure meeting you.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, well, smoke it.
Well, it cost you a dollar and a half.
A dollar and a half cigar?
Yeah.
All right.
Austin, can I smoke it a little later?
Yeah, sure.
All right, Tomas, thank you very much for coming here.
Did you have a nice time?
You bet.
All right, nice meeting you.
Say hello to the folks in Tampa.
We'll be right back, folks.
Can I tell my daughter hello in Oregon?
Yeah, go ahead.
I'll tell hello to my daughter.
She lives in Oregon and my son in Tampa, Florida.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night.