Name: Lorne Michaels on Letterman, February 14, 1983
Uploaded: 2016-06-05T22:23:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lorne Michaels on Letterman, February 14, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-05. Transcript available. Lorne Michaels in his only appearance on any of Dave's shows.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Lorne Michaels on Letterman, February 14, 1983' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-05. Transcript available. Lorne Michaels in his only appearance on any of Dave's shows.

Welcome back to the show.
I don't know about you, but I feel like a new man.
My next guest created NBC's Saturday Night Live
and was the producer of that program from 1975 to 1980.
Please welcome Mr. Lorne Michaels, ladies and gentlemen.
Lorne, how are you?
Nice to see you, sir.
How are you holding up with the weather here in New York City?
Does it bother?
It doesn't... Oh, God, right to the weather.
It doesn't... I'm from Canada, originally,
and so I'm used to snow, and when it snows, it's not that cold,
and so I like it well.
This didn't bother you at all?
No. Do you think I was articulate enough about the weather?
Now, you mentioned that I led with the weather.
Maybe as a producer, I probably should have
maybe faked with another question and then gone to the weather.
Well, the weather... I think the weather was a good opening gambit,
going with the weather, and I think that's the way
most people begin conversations,
that it takes us off the hole and sex.
And, uh...
I think that, uh...
God, I had so many things to say about the weather
as I was walking here in the weather,
and then I, uh...
You walked from here? You lived relatively close, then?
Well, well...
What a conclusion.
Yes, indeed.
Uh, relatively close, yeah.
Well...
I live, uh, uptown.
In the neighborhood.
Yeah, and then I walked, uh...
Yes, but I have an office near here.
You know, uh, in all of the reams of data,
material and so forth,
I was, uh, perusing about you this afternoon.
Uh, the word that keeps coming up is pioneer.
Pioneer.
Lauren Michaels pioneering television.
Does that ring true to you?
Not really, no.
Um, pioneer...
Well, I, I, I, I appreciate it.
I mean, it's, uh...
Makes me sound much older than I am, I think.
Pioneer.
It sounds sort of like, uh...
Well, I don't want to mention names.
Uh, no, I, I, I think live television,
I suppose, is what they mean,
and, and coming back to that form,
which was, in fact, a pioneer form,
but only because videotape hadn't been invented.
I think videotape had been invented.
I think they probably would have gone right to videotape
and forgot the line.
Yeah, yeah.
But, uh, I don't think that makes
a great deal of, uh, sense.
Um...
So, pioneer, I, I think that, uh...
Well, that's all right.
I have another question.
Sure, go ahead.
I have another question.
Yeah.
Uh, now, you, you performed yourself.
Yes, I did.
And what was the nature of that act?
Uh, it was, uh, sad to say, a comedy, uh, act.
Uh, as you can see, there's almost no trace of that, uh, left in me.
Uh...
No, no, no.
I, uh, no, I, I began, I began, uh, writing, uh, with another guy in Canada,
and we would write and perform our, ourselves.
I was, uh, not great at the performing,
although I was very good at...
Actually, my part was mostly asking questions,
but I sort of knew what the answers would be,
and then I'd say stuff like,
really?
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, really.
And, uh, I was a pacer.
I would sort of, he was very funny,
and I would sort of take the pause moment in between
and sort of support him during that.
And, uh, then I began to get more and more interested in producing
and comfortable there.
I read, I was looking at your biography this afternoon,
and it labeled you on Saturday Night Live
as, of course, the producer,
and also part-time performer.
And I remember one thing that you did on the show,
uh, had to do with bringing, uh,
offering to bring a very famous musical group back together.
Right.
I thank, thank you for not mentioning the Beatles
in the, uh, in the question.
Uh...
I think, uh, no, what happened was,
I think that, uh,
I think it was Bill Sargent, who's the producer,
had offered the Beatles, I think,
God, could it be $50 million?
I think it was something like $50 million to reunite.
And, uh, we had,
because we only paid scale,
and so the total we had was about $3,500,
so I thought it was sort of worth the shot.
And, uh, I did it.
And, uh,
it was sort of published later
that they had, uh,
that, uh, Paul McCartney was in town.
With, uh,
at John Lennon's watching it,
and actually had, uh,
considered coming,
and then, uh, sort of on a whim,
and then decided not to.
I don't think they actually would have been able
to clear security here,
and that was sort of my fear at the time.
When I heard, first heard about it,
I thought...
Well, had they shown up,
uh, the show was live, of course,
went on the air in the East at 11.30.
I think we would have made room for them, yeah.
Uh, tell me about also you,
as a writer, you wrote for Woody Allen.
Oh, uh, almost nothing
that, uh, I think he ever used.
I think, uh, when you're starting,
uh, he was actually very, very kind
to, uh, my partner and myself at the time.
He sort of...
I was just sort of thrilled, uh,
to be, uh, in a room with him at the time.
He was still doing stand-up mostly,
and, uh,
we would write, uh, tons of stuff,
and he would sort of select one thing,
and he used to throw out
enormous amounts of, of, of our stuff,
and of, I think, of his stuff.
But, uh, I was just sort of very impressed
at the time with the quality of his garbage.
Yeah.
Because most comedians were sort of making
their act from what he was sort of throwing away.
And I thought that that's what, uh,
being in a room with him,
someone who was very intelligent,
and, uh...
Did you make any, uh, contribution at all,
or was there anything that he really liked
that you wrote?
So, God, uh, this is 1967.
I think there was, uh,
I remember doing something about, uh,
that being obsessed about the thought
that there was somebody
who was thinking the same thought
as I was at the same time
somewhere in the world,
and that there, that, uh,
and then sort of a long, uh, expository, uh, part
about, uh, uh, finding this person,
and then sort of every time you called,
the line was busy.
Yeah.
Which was a, uh, a bright joke then.
It was the kind of joke
that people were doing at the time.
And, uh, and, uh, he said,
I think, uh, that's funny.
That's very funny.
And I, I remember it kept me going
for about two, three years
that he said that at the time.
He was incredibly encouraging,
and I was later to find
that not everybody sort of had
these, uh, very high standards
and sort of generosity of heart
that he had.
And, uh, uh, but by that time
I was pretty much committed
to this life,
and, uh, as you see,
it's letting me hear.
What is, was there, uh, uh,
during the course of the, the time
you were producing the show,
was there something that you,
you wanted on desperately
and for one reason or another
could not get it on,
whether they wouldn't approve it
or it didn't come together
in the performing or writing or so?
Well, there, there were sort of two categories
of things.
There was things that we thought
were incredibly funny
up to the point of the audience
at dress rehearsal.
The nice part about the show,
and I think what kept it honest,
was that, uh, as confident
as we would be,
and, and, and particularly
at the beginning of the show,
we were way overpraised.
And so, we got to believe
that we really actually knew
what we were doing.
And so, we'd do something
and everybody be very, uh, smug,
you know, and then dress rehearsal,
300, uh, civilians would come in
and say, it doesn't work.
I don't know why you thought
it worked.
Uh, and so we would scramble
in between dress and air.
You would get it somehow,
get it on, but by that point,
you were so demoralized,
uh, that it, uh, you were
thrilled that it worked.
And I think that, uh,
the, the expression on the cast's face
quite often, uh, of, of,
of being thrilled that it worked,
uh, I think was sort of infectious.
In terms of things that were cut
for censorship reasons.
Speaking of cutting and censoring,
we've got to do a commercial.
And we'll, uh, continue this
with Lorne Michaels
right after this question.
Thank you very much.
Carl Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
This is, uh, Lorne Michaels,
and, uh, you, you answered
the first half of that question,
or half of it anyway.
Now, the other half.
I, I'm, when I was thinking
about it during the break,
I was wondering whether I could
even sort of talk about it now,
because they objected to it then.
Uh, I think that, uh,
there was a piece where, uh,
a senator, the New York State
Assembly was, uh, discussing
capital punishment.
And, uh, a senator from
upstate New York, uh, made the
point that if the Romans
hadn't believed in capital
punishment, uh, then, uh,
Jesus, uh, would not have been
crucified, and therefore there
would be no Christianity today.
Which seems somewhat, uh,
specious at the time.
So, uh, we, uh, actually, uh, uh,
Jim Downey, who, uh, claims to work
here, uh, uh, used to do a frame
called What If, and we did What If
the Romans, uh, had not believed
in, uh, in capital punishment,
and Jesus had gotten, uh, eight to
ten, uh, and been out on parole.
And, uh, so we had the, uh, uh,
the apostles coming, uh, to, uh,
to Jesus to try and get him back.
We were parroting the movie
Straight Time, and we were
trying to get him to sort of
perform one more miracle, and
then that was it.
You know, he would no longer be
involved in, you know, in any of
the holy work, and, uh, uh, it
touched a nerve, and, uh, we
got it all the way to dress
rehearsal, actually, it was, it
was, where, which nerve where
was that?
Uh, the nerve at, at, at NBC,
uh, at the time, I think things
have completely, as you saw from
earlier in the evening, uh, things
have completely changed, uh, here.
But, uh, at the time, I think
that there was something about
that we were, in fact, calling
into question the divinity of
Christ, which I think the point
was that we weren't, but it
was, uh, the funny part about
the story is not that part.
The funny part, I suppose, is
sort of arguing, uh, about this
on a grand sort of philosophical,
uh, level, very close to
airtime, when we've already done
it at dress rehearsal, and
people have laughed, and I have
like a 20-minute hole in the
show if we don't get the piece
on, and seeing sort of Danny
and, uh, and John dressed as
sort of shepherds, and, uh, and
having all of these, we used to
have a lot of animals on the
show, and you'd, and you'd
sort of, they'd come in from,
like, very far away, and stuff
like that, and so on a
theatrical level, you don't
want to cut the piece because it
works, and because everybody's
sort of, uh, there.
Michael Sarazen, I think, was
playing, uh, Jesus at the time,
and I, and that was the other
problem, he didn't, that was
sort of the main sketch, and
so he would have very little to
do if, you know, it was those
kind of problems.
So the, the, I guess it, uh,
it never, never got in.
No, this is as close as it got.
Let me ask you a couple of
questions of that
specifically, uh, how, how, when
do you know when to quit
fighting?
I mean, how do you know when to
say, okay, fine, let's go on to
something else?
I think on that one, we were at
midnight, uh, when we stopped,
uh, fighting.
The thing about live, live, was,
is that, uh, sure.
But I mean, philosophically,
from you, how do you know when to
give it up that this may not be,
uh, a battle to the death?
When it's not your night, you
mean?
Yeah.
Um, I don't think, uh, I think
as I got older, I, I learned to
give up a little, uh, a little
sooner, but then as I got older,
I started to win more often.
So I, I, it was easier to, uh, to
give up.
I think that our, our fights were
never, I think that as long as
the, the tone of the argument was
high, and what we were, I mean,
we never had, like, a strong
desire to put sort of profanity on
the air or whatever, because you
can turn to cable for that, there's
no problem, you know?
It was just, what we were trying
to do was do something which was
intelligent, and, and I think
that when you do things that are
intelligent, the assumption is
that no one will be offended,
because very few people will
understand, uh, when you do
something that is, uh, that
it could be misinterpreted that
is intelligent, uh, people tend
to, to take it on the other
level, uh, there were lots of,
lots of, uh, things like that.
Okay, the other question, what
now do you do having eliminated an
eight, nine minute, uh, sketch
from the show at midnight that's,
uh, on the air then?
I think, uh, what we would
always, we had generally some
film that we could, that we
could play, but basically, the
show was always about a half
hour long, I would always claim
it was about 12 minutes long,
and, uh, Audrey, uh, who was the
associate producer, would claim
that it was, uh, 35 minutes
long, and, uh, so there was
always more to it, but the, the,
the worst thing, the nice part
about letting it run long is, and
I think that the show's
antecedents are not so much from
show of shows as they were in
that regard from Sullivan's show,
because I think Sullivan, in a
completely arbitrary way, used to,
uh, do the show, uh, once through
long, and then make cuts just
before, between dress and
air, and so, uh, comedians who
did a seven minute piece would be
cut down to three minutes or
whatever, and we would do, uh, so
there was always a question of
tightening, so it was never, in
that particular show, that was the
centerpiece, there was always one
piece which you thought, you, you
couldn't possibly fill 90, as you,
as you know, you can't possibly fill
90 minutes, uh, a week, and, and,
and make it, uh, brilliant from
beginning. We, we bring a guy out
with a drill, when we have a little
time. Well, but, you see, I think,
I think those things are actually,
we used to do a thing with, uh, a
blender, where Dan, oh, we should
get away. Excuse me, uh, we're,
we're coming back. We're on the
mic. Thank you, guys.
Thank you, folks. We're nearly out
of time. I want to thank Dr. Ruth
Westheimer, also. Thank you very
much, Lauren Michaels, for being
here. Uh, Bill Maher will be
rescheduled. I'm sorry we didn't
get to him tonight. Tomorrow
night, Monique Van Voren and her
200 pairs of shoes. Don't miss it.
Good night.

Lorne Michaels on Letterman, February 14, 1983

Welcome back to the show.
I don't know about you, but I feel like a new man.
My next guest created NBC's Saturday Night Live
and was the producer of that program from 1975 to 1980.
Please welcome Mr. Lorne Michaels, ladies and gentlemen.
Lorne, how are you?
Nice to see you, sir.
How are you holding up with the weather here in New York City?
Does it bother?
It doesn't... Oh, God, right to the weather.
It doesn't... I'm from Canada, originally,
and so I'm used to snow, and when it snows, it's not that cold,
and so I like it well.
This didn't bother you at all?
No. Do you think I was articulate enough about the weather?
Now, you mentioned that I led with the weather.
Maybe as a producer, I probably should have
maybe faked with another question and then gone to the weather.
Well, the weather... I think the weather was a good opening gambit,
going with the weather, and I think that's the way
most people begin conversations,
that it takes us off the hole and sex.
And, uh...
I think that, uh...
God, I had so many things to say about the weather
as I was walking here in the weather,
and then I, uh...
You walked from here? You lived relatively close, then?
Well, well...
What a conclusion.
Yes, indeed.
Uh, relatively close, yeah.
Well...
I live, uh, uptown.
In the neighborhood.
Yeah, and then I walked, uh...
Yes, but I have an office near here.
You know, uh, in all of the reams of data,
material and so forth,
I was, uh, perusing about you this afternoon.
Uh, the word that keeps coming up is pioneer.
Pioneer.
Lauren Michaels pioneering television.
Does that ring true to you?
Not really, no.
Um, pioneer...
Well, I, I, I, I appreciate it.
I mean, it's, uh...
Makes me sound much older than I am, I think.
Pioneer.
It sounds sort of like, uh...
Well, I don't want to mention names.
Uh, no, I, I, I think live television,
I suppose, is what they mean,
and, and coming back to that form,
which was, in fact, a pioneer form,
but only because videotape hadn't been invented.
I think videotape had been invented.
I think they probably would have gone right to videotape
and forgot the line.
Yeah, yeah.
But, uh, I don't think that makes
a great deal of, uh, sense.
Um...
So, pioneer, I, I think that, uh...
Well, that's all right.
I have another question.
Sure, go ahead.
I have another question.
Yeah.
Uh, now, you, you performed yourself.
Yes, I did.
And what was the nature of that act?
Uh, it was, uh, sad to say, a comedy, uh, act.
Uh, as you can see, there's almost no trace of that, uh, left in me.
Uh...
No, no, no.
I, uh, no, I, I began, I began, uh, writing, uh, with another guy in Canada,
and we would write and perform our, ourselves.
I was, uh, not great at the performing,
although I was very good at...
Actually, my part was mostly asking questions,
but I sort of knew what the answers would be,
and then I'd say stuff like,
really?
Mm-hmm.
And, uh, really.
And, uh, I was a pacer.
I would sort of, he was very funny,
and I would sort of take the pause moment in between
and sort of support him during that.
And, uh, then I began to get more and more interested in producing
and comfortable there.
I read, I was looking at your biography this afternoon,
and it labeled you on Saturday Night Live
as, of course, the producer,
and also part-time performer.
And I remember one thing that you did on the show,
uh, had to do with bringing, uh,
offering to bring a very famous musical group back together.
Right.
I thank, thank you for not mentioning the Beatles
in the, uh, in the question.
Uh...
I think, uh, no, what happened was,
I think that, uh,
I think it was Bill Sargent, who's the producer,
had offered the Beatles, I think,
God, could it be $50 million?
I think it was something like $50 million to reunite.
And, uh, we had,
because we only paid scale,
and so the total we had was about $3,500,
so I thought it was sort of worth the shot.
And, uh, I did it.
And, uh,
it was sort of published later
that they had, uh,
that, uh, Paul McCartney was in town.
With, uh,
at John Lennon's watching it,
and actually had, uh,
considered coming,
and then, uh, sort of on a whim,
and then decided not to.
I don't think they actually would have been able
to clear security here,
and that was sort of my fear at the time.
When I heard, first heard about it,
I thought...
Well, had they shown up,
uh, the show was live, of course,
went on the air in the East at 11.30.
I think we would have made room for them, yeah.
Uh, tell me about also you,
as a writer, you wrote for Woody Allen.
Oh, uh, almost nothing
that, uh, I think he ever used.
I think, uh, when you're starting,
uh, he was actually very, very kind
to, uh, my partner and myself at the time.
He sort of...
I was just sort of thrilled, uh,
to be, uh, in a room with him at the time.
He was still doing stand-up mostly,
and, uh,
we would write, uh, tons of stuff,
and he would sort of select one thing,
and he used to throw out
enormous amounts of, of, of our stuff,
and of, I think, of his stuff.
But, uh, I was just sort of very impressed
at the time with the quality of his garbage.
Yeah.
Because most comedians were sort of making
their act from what he was sort of throwing away.
And I thought that that's what, uh,
being in a room with him,
someone who was very intelligent,
and, uh...
Did you make any, uh, contribution at all,
or was there anything that he really liked
that you wrote?
So, God, uh, this is 1967.
I think there was, uh,
I remember doing something about, uh,
that being obsessed about the thought
that there was somebody
who was thinking the same thought
as I was at the same time
somewhere in the world,
and that there, that, uh,
and then sort of a long, uh, expository, uh, part
about, uh, uh, finding this person,
and then sort of every time you called,
the line was busy.
Yeah.
Which was a, uh, a bright joke then.
It was the kind of joke
that people were doing at the time.
And, uh, and, uh, he said,
I think, uh, that's funny.
That's very funny.
And I, I remember it kept me going
for about two, three years
that he said that at the time.
He was incredibly encouraging,
and I was later to find
that not everybody sort of had
these, uh, very high standards
and sort of generosity of heart
that he had.
And, uh, uh, but by that time
I was pretty much committed
to this life,
and, uh, as you see,
it's letting me hear.
What is, was there, uh, uh,
during the course of the, the time
you were producing the show,
was there something that you,
you wanted on desperately
and for one reason or another
could not get it on,
whether they wouldn't approve it
or it didn't come together
in the performing or writing or so?
Well, there, there were sort of two categories
of things.
There was things that we thought
were incredibly funny
up to the point of the audience
at dress rehearsal.
The nice part about the show,
and I think what kept it honest,
was that, uh, as confident
as we would be,
and, and, and particularly
at the beginning of the show,
we were way overpraised.
And so, we got to believe
that we really actually knew
what we were doing.
And so, we'd do something
and everybody be very, uh, smug,
you know, and then dress rehearsal,
300, uh, civilians would come in
and say, it doesn't work.
I don't know why you thought
it worked.
Uh, and so we would scramble
in between dress and air.
You would get it somehow,
get it on, but by that point,
you were so demoralized,
uh, that it, uh, you were
thrilled that it worked.
And I think that, uh,
the, the expression on the cast's face
quite often, uh, of, of,
of being thrilled that it worked,
uh, I think was sort of infectious.
In terms of things that were cut
for censorship reasons.
Speaking of cutting and censoring,
we've got to do a commercial.
And we'll, uh, continue this
with Lorne Michaels
right after this question.
Thank you very much.
Carl Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen.
This is, uh, Lorne Michaels,
and, uh, you, you answered
the first half of that question,
or half of it anyway.
Now, the other half.
I, I'm, when I was thinking
about it during the break,
I was wondering whether I could
even sort of talk about it now,
because they objected to it then.
Uh, I think that, uh,
there was a piece where, uh,
a senator, the New York State
Assembly was, uh, discussing
capital punishment.
And, uh, a senator from
upstate New York, uh, made the
point that if the Romans
hadn't believed in capital
punishment, uh, then, uh,
Jesus, uh, would not have been
crucified, and therefore there
would be no Christianity today.
Which seems somewhat, uh,
specious at the time.
So, uh, we, uh, actually, uh, uh,
Jim Downey, who, uh, claims to work
here, uh, uh, used to do a frame
called What If, and we did What If
the Romans, uh, had not believed
in, uh, in capital punishment,
and Jesus had gotten, uh, eight to
ten, uh, and been out on parole.
And, uh, so we had the, uh, uh,
the apostles coming, uh, to, uh,
to Jesus to try and get him back.
We were parroting the movie
Straight Time, and we were
trying to get him to sort of
perform one more miracle, and
then that was it.
You know, he would no longer be
involved in, you know, in any of
the holy work, and, uh, uh, it
touched a nerve, and, uh, we
got it all the way to dress
rehearsal, actually, it was, it
was, where, which nerve where
was that?
Uh, the nerve at, at, at NBC,
uh, at the time, I think things
have completely, as you saw from
earlier in the evening, uh, things
have completely changed, uh, here.
But, uh, at the time, I think
that there was something about
that we were, in fact, calling
into question the divinity of
Christ, which I think the point
was that we weren't, but it
was, uh, the funny part about
the story is not that part.
The funny part, I suppose, is
sort of arguing, uh, about this
on a grand sort of philosophical,
uh, level, very close to
airtime, when we've already done
it at dress rehearsal, and
people have laughed, and I have
like a 20-minute hole in the
show if we don't get the piece
on, and seeing sort of Danny
and, uh, and John dressed as
sort of shepherds, and, uh, and
having all of these, we used to
have a lot of animals on the
show, and you'd, and you'd
sort of, they'd come in from,
like, very far away, and stuff
like that, and so on a
theatrical level, you don't
want to cut the piece because it
works, and because everybody's
sort of, uh, there.
Michael Sarazen, I think, was
playing, uh, Jesus at the time,
and I, and that was the other
problem, he didn't, that was
sort of the main sketch, and
so he would have very little to
do if, you know, it was those
kind of problems.
So the, the, I guess it, uh,
it never, never got in.
No, this is as close as it got.
Let me ask you a couple of
questions of that
specifically, uh, how, how, when
do you know when to quit
fighting?
I mean, how do you know when to
say, okay, fine, let's go on to
something else?
I think on that one, we were at
midnight, uh, when we stopped,
uh, fighting.
The thing about live, live, was,
is that, uh, sure.
But I mean, philosophically,
from you, how do you know when to
give it up that this may not be,
uh, a battle to the death?
When it's not your night, you
mean?
Yeah.
Um, I don't think, uh, I think
as I got older, I, I learned to
give up a little, uh, a little
sooner, but then as I got older,
I started to win more often.
So I, I, it was easier to, uh, to
give up.
I think that our, our fights were
never, I think that as long as
the, the tone of the argument was
high, and what we were, I mean,
we never had, like, a strong
desire to put sort of profanity on
the air or whatever, because you
can turn to cable for that, there's
no problem, you know?
It was just, what we were trying
to do was do something which was
intelligent, and, and I think
that when you do things that are
intelligent, the assumption is
that no one will be offended,
because very few people will
understand, uh, when you do
something that is, uh, that
it could be misinterpreted that
is intelligent, uh, people tend
to, to take it on the other
level, uh, there were lots of,
lots of, u