Name: Kevin Kline on Letterman April 30, 1993
Uploaded: 2016-06-10T23:13:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kevin Kline on Letterman April 30, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kevin Kline on Letterman April 30, 1993' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-10. Transcript available.

Welcome back to the show, nice to see you. On the program this evening, Kevin Kline,
a multi-talented, very personable young movie star, is with us this evening,
and Tina Turner.
What more can you say about Tina Turner? And how about last night's show? We
had
Rod Stewart and Ron Wood on. They were great last night.
Yeah, so things are going, hey, things are finally beginning to go our way here
tonight.
Let's do the top ten list and then bring out the...
Also, I don't know if you happened to see the show last night, but we had a
flying dog
on the show last night. It was not a prop, it was not a toy, it was an actual
flying dog.
They're now available. You can get them out of the Philippines in Manila.
Really? They bring them in?
They say they're combining them with some kind of genetic pet research they're
doing in the
Philippines, and you can get an actual flying dog.
Scared me, I'll tell you that.
But the good, they say they make pretty good pets.
Uh-huh, really?
Yeah, they're having better luck with, like, Airedales and Canadian geese. It's
some kind
of...
Merging...
Yeah. Do we have the flying? As long as... Oh, yeah, here it is. Here's... This
is an actual
flying dog, ladies and gentlemen. This is... This is not a... Listen, there,
look at that.
That's not a toy. That's not a gadget. You can have one of these. Now, they're
a little
pricey, they're a little pricey. They're about $860,000. Wow, that's so much.
But they say,
you know, as they start to mass produce them, the price will come down. Uh-huh.
They scare
me, scare me. The category tonight, top 10 highlights of Roger Clinton's first
100 days
as the presidential brother. President Clinton celebrating 100 days in office.
Highlights
now of his brother, Roger, 100 days in office. Here we go, number 10. Wore
shoes for the first
time. Number 9. Sometimes gets a free pen after they've signed a law or
something. Number 8.
Historic all-night keg summit with President Mitterrand's brother, Stewie.
Number 7. Was
on TV. Oh, boy. Number 6. Finishing slightly ahead of that smart-ass seven-year-old
during
the White House Easter egg hunt. Number 5. Was a runner-up on the game show Towel
Off.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Number... Oh, my. Number 4. Seeing Joe Namath host the Bud Bowl.
That
was awesome. Number 3. Keyhole sighting of Hillary using her epilady. Number 2.
They say as long as you keep the shots up to date, the flying dog makes a
wonderful pet.
Ha, ha, ha. Good with kids and can carry, yes, in answer to your question, a
small amount
of luggage. Uh, number 2. Finally getting the rubber mouse away from socks. And
the number
one highlight of Roger Clinton's first 100 days. Higher approval rating than
his brother. There
you go!
All right. How are we doing? Is everything all right? Everything on time? Good.
Our first
guest is an Oscar and a Tony award-winning actor. Wow, you can't beat that, can
you?
Both. Won an Academy Award and a Tony. Cool. Uh, his films of course include,
uh, The Big Chill
and, uh, A Fish Named Wanda. How about The Big Chilled Fish? Did you see that
one? Missed
that one. Oh, that was a great film. That's another one of those hybrid things.
Yeah. And
now, uh, his newest effort entitled Dave opens on May 7th. Ladies and gentlemen,
here he is,
Kevin Kline. Kevin!
Kevin!
Good to see you. Good to see you. Welcome back to the program and again, thank
you for
your time and congratulations on a great career and what looks like another
great movie. Thank
you. Yeah. Was that all in one breath? Well, more or less. How's your, how's
your voice?
Somebody said you had laryngitis. I am just, uh, recovering from, uh, laryngitis.
I've been
talking nonstop for about three weeks about this movie. You've been out
promoting it. Promoting
my life. I'm not promoting it. Promoting my life. I'm just recovering from laryngitis.
I'm
just recovering from laryngitis. I've been talking nonstop for about three
weeks about this movie.
You've been out promoting it. Promoting my life. I'm just recovering from laryngitis.
Not promoting it. Promoting myself. Promoting the movie. Promoting, uh, you
know, good times
and fun for all. Give, give people a sense of, of what that is like, uh, why is
it required
and how much of it do you do it? Do you enjoy it and how does it go? See, I, I
don't think
it is, I think it does nothing. I think coming on this show or doing interviews
with various
newspapers is, uh, I, I, I don't do this show. I don't, never, never mind. No.
What I was
saying is, I, I don't think it, I, I think it's all very important. Uh. Wait a
minute. It
didn't, it didn't seem like that's what you were getting at. No, I don't. I get,
I've been
doing this for a long, for three weeks now, nonstop. No. You get a little punchy,
don't
you? You lose your voice. You go, and I, I thought it was, I thought it was
from just talking
and catching a cold, but I think it's psychosomatic. I think it's from being
asked really stupid
questions that I can't answer. So you go, but you answer them anyway. So pretty
soon
your body says, you're lying. You're lying. It just cuts it off. It just shuts
down. Yeah.
Well, you'll tell no more lies today. Yeah. But it's coming back now and I
think it's just
from talking to you. Who, who asks the stupid questions? Well. That's a, that's
a good question.
Um. Everyone asks me that question, but I'm used to it now. No, uh, the, you
know, you,
the, you sit in a room. They say, we're doing a press junket. It'll be three
days, nonstop,
about 600. Various cities around the country. You sit in a chair and then a TV
interviewer
comes in and does their five minute midday Cleveland show. Right. So it's the,
the TV writer
in Cleveland who asks the stupid questions. Yeah, Cleveland. Cleveland, every,
they come from
all over. They come from Europe. Yeah. And then, and then the next day after
you've done
600 television interviews, you do, uh, 400 print interviews. Right. You sit
around a table
and they'll ask you the same questions. Okay. But now you know that they're
gonna misquote
you. Give, give us an example of, of the high end of this and the low end of
this. What
would be, as a, as a filmmaker, as an artist, as an actor, as a, uh, a thespian,
what is,
what is a good, what is a good question? What do you like to hear? What is the
kind of
thing you respond to? Well, a question that sort of bespeaks a certain amount
of knowledge
about the craft or, um, it's not just downright insulting in terms of just what
it is we do.
Uh, we actor thespians and, uh, slash actor slash thespians. Um, um, but, um,
well, you, you get
questions like, okay, now in this movie, I played two characters. I played the
president, a fictional
president, not our current president, a fictional president, and then I play a
guy who looks just
like him. Good casting. Right. Don't you think? And, and, uh, I played the
president for just
for like three or four scenes. Then I played this guy, Dave, who is, uh, who
just happens
to look like him. Right. So I get questions like, now, did you ever have to
play both characters on the same day?
I went, yeah, sometimes I'd shoot a scene in the morning where I was the
president and that afternoon I'd be Dave.
Sure. Did you ever get them confused?
Well, no, I, you know, they always told me before I go, go on, you know, which
one I'm playing. They write it on the call sheet so I don't...
What do they think? They think like someone holds up cue cards and the director
tells us what to do
and then we just kind of, they wind us up. You know, we, we do a little work.
We memorize a couple lines.
But it, it seems to me like you, you might get confused.
Because, there's a good chance, you know, I, yeah, I don't know.
You don't get confused. Do you get confused? Do you ever get confused like when
you're doing this show?
Like, wait a minute. Is this me, Dave, doing my show? Or is this me driving to
work?
I, I think I actually have signaled for turns while at the desk and...
They just bring out another guest.
You know, it, it actually is a little like picking up hitchhikers now that you
mention it.
It's like driving to work. Hey, there's Kevin. Hey, Kevin, get in. Come on.
Drive into town, do us a show.
Uh, your lovely wife was here a couple of weeks ago.
I saw her, yeah.
Oh, she's the best. You're the luckiest man in the world.
I know, man.
You kissed her hand when she came home.
Well, that's all right. I can kiss her hand. Just relax, will ya?
Well, I'm just...
What a, what a maniac!
Well, no, I just never, it was sort of old world. It was kind of elegant.
Well, thank you.
I just hadn't seen you do that ever before.
All right, buddy, get out! Get out of the car!
Uh, and you have a great, uh, little son, Owen.
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
All right, we have to do a commercial here.
We'll, uh, come back with Kevin Kline, kids.
How do you do?
Kevin Kline, a fine actor and a gentleman, is here.
And also later, uh, Tina Turner.
And, uh, you probably know this, but if, if you don't, uh, Kevin is married to
a, uh, wonderful actress in her own right, as they say, and a delightful woman
who has been a guest on this program many, many times and is here tonight in
our audience.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Say hello to the lovely Phoebe Cates.
Phoebe where?
There she is.
Wait a minute.
Can I, can I, can you play that back?
Hey, let me ask you a question.
Wait a minute.
Do you sometimes get confused about where your wife is, Kevin?
Could you pull over, right over here?
Uh.
Who's, who's watching our child?
She's, she's up there.
Your child is here, here at the daycare center.
Who is that guy that's next to her?
That's a lookalike, right?
She's here with a lumberjack.
Uh.
He's kissing her hand.
Let's talk, uh, about the, uh, the film.
What kind of things did you get to do?
You were playing a guy who gets to play the president, so what kind of things
did you do for the film?
Well, my research, a lot of people have asked me this and it's a great question.
Uh.
And they said, what did you do to research?
You know, cause you got to play the president.
But in fact, I play a guy who is pretending to be the president.
So there's no research.
No research at all.
I just had to stay stupid.
Cause I didn't want to know too much, you know.
That was my research.
Except the one thing I had to do was, I didn't want to know too much, you know.
That was my research.
Except the one thing I had to do.
I didn't want to know too much.
I didn't want to know too much, you know.
I didn't want to know too much.
I didn't want to know too much.
I didn't want to know too much.
That was my research.
Except the one thing I had to do is, as the guy impersonating the president, I'm
asked
to go in and throw the inaugural first pitch.
So a few days before we actually started filming, we went up to the Camden Yards,
you know.
That's a great ballpark, isn't it?
Great ballpark.
Wonderful ballpark.
So this must be very exciting for you cause I know you play ball yourself.
Well, I played outfield.
Yeah.
And now that's the guy who is pretending to be the president.
Well, I played outfield.
Yeah.
And now the script says that he uncorks this fabulous curve ball that just goes
burning
right across the plate.
And I go, well, I'm an outfielder.
I can throw it, you know.
Can I run out to center field and just throw a guy out at home?
No, it doesn't work.
The president is taking a guy out from deep center.
Yeah.
Okay.
Just start rounding a second.
Go!
So they said, no.
And I said, well, I got to learn, you know, the form at least and learn how to
throw
a curve ball.
Can you track someone down?
I called Warner Brothers.
And they said, yeah.
They called me back the next day.
And I figured they'd get me some high school or college ball.
Sure.
Show me the grip.
Just help you out.
Yeah.
He said, well, we got Mel Stottlemyre from the Mets.
He'll be out at Shea Stadium at four o'clock tomorrow.
Wow.
Pitching coach out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's the pitching coach for the Mets.
And so I thought, oh, great, you know.
So I went out there and Mel, he caught about a hundred pitches and I could
barely move
for about a week.
But he showed me the thing and then on the day I got out there.
So how was it set up?
Was it before an actual game?
The Orioles are actually playing?
Yeah.
They had in the paper, they had asked everyone to come a little early if they
wanted to be
in the movie.
They all showed up.
Everybody wanted to be in the movie.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
I mean, as if they thought, oh, well, I'll stand out, right?
Yeah.
There's only 50,000 of us.
It's a great scene because there's 50,000 people and they were, Ivan Reitman,
the director,
went out and said, okay, now let's pretend this is a really popular president
and you love
this guy.
And when he comes out, give him a nice, you know, I come out of the dugout and
50,000
people stand up screaming.
And I'm thinking, you know, this is acting at its finest because they're
pretending.
I'm pretending.
We haven't even started.
I haven't even met the camera operator yet.
It's like two days before we actually start.
You know, no one's had time to even meet anybody.
I'm out there pretending to be an actor who knows what he's doing, playing the
part of a
guy pretending to be the president who also can throw this fabulous pitch.
And I go, you know, they've given us three minutes before the game to do as
many takes
of me trying to get it over the plate.
And I went out there and, you know, and everybody's cheering.
And I did my thing, you know, and just right into the dugout.
I mean, just watch.
The form was great, but the result, then the second pitch hit somebody in the
stands.
Fine, the third pitch, the audience is now booing, right?
But I ran out and, you know, got it right into the...
So that'll be a great scene.
Are you pleased with how that scene came out of the film?
It looks great.
It looks like I really know what I'm doing.
All right.
So when people go to see that, that'll be interesting for them now that they
have the
little backstory about it.
They'll know that there were two takes before that where I, in fact...
Screwed up.
Screwed up.
Yeah.
Was it a little embarrassing for you when you had to walk out there and pretend
like, oh, here I am, actor boy, delaying the big league ball game?
It was the fakest moment of my life.
See, because there were like seven cameras.
So wherever the ball went, it didn't matter.
They needed to get a nice reaction to me.
Yeah.
So I'm like throwing it, hit some guy in the stand, and I'm going, yes!
Like I just threw this fabulous pitch just right there.
Yeah, drop the season ticket holder.
It's all mad.
The movie, Dave, you know, you've been in a lot of interesting, some quirky,
but always
very interesting motion pictures.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, Dave opens on May 7th, and me, myself, as a matter of fact, I'm open
right now.
Good to see you, Kevin.
It's good to see you.
I hope it's a great hit for you.
And say hello to Phoebe.
I sure am.
Kevin Kline is running back here with Tina Turner.
Thank you.

Kevin Kline on Letterman April 30, 1993

Welcome back to the show, nice to see you. On the program this evening, Kevin Kline,
a multi-talented, very personable young movie star, is with us this evening,
and Tina Turner.
What more can you say about Tina Turner? And how about last night's show? We
had
Rod Stewart and Ron Wood on. They were great last night.
Yeah, so things are going, hey, things are finally beginning to go our way here
tonight.
Let's do the top ten list and then bring out the...
Also, I don't know if you happened to see the show last night, but we had a
flying dog
on the show last night. It was not a prop, it was not a toy, it was an actual
flying dog.
They're now available. You can get them out of the Philippines in Manila.
Really? They bring them in?
They say they're combining them with some kind of genetic pet research they're
doing in the
Philippines, and you can get an actual flying dog.
Scared me, I'll tell you that.
But the good, they say they make pretty good pets.
Uh-huh, really?
Yeah, they're having better luck with, like, Airedales and Canadian geese. It's
some kind
of...
Merging...
Yeah. Do we have the flying? As long as... Oh, yeah, here it is. Here's... This
is an actual
flying dog, ladies and gentlemen. This is... This is not a... Listen, there,
look at that.
That's not a toy. That's not a gadget. You can have one of these. Now, they're
a little
pricey, they're a little pricey. They're about $860,000. Wow, that's so much.
But they say,
you know, as they start to mass produce them, the price will come down. Uh-huh.
They scare
me, scare me. The category tonight, top 10 highlights of Roger Clinton's first
100 days
as the presidential brother. President Clinton celebrating 100 days in office.
Highlights
now of his brother, Roger, 100 days in office. Here we go, number 10. Wore
shoes for the first
time. Number 9. Sometimes gets a free pen after they've signed a law or
something. Number 8.
Historic all-night keg summit with President Mitterrand's brother, Stewie.
Number 7. Was
on TV. Oh, boy. Number 6. Finishing slightly ahead of that smart-ass seven-year-old
during
the White House Easter egg hunt. Number 5. Was a runner-up on the game show Towel
Off.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Number... Oh, my. Number 4. Seeing Joe Namath host the Bud Bowl.
That
was awesome. Number 3. Keyhole sighting of Hillary using her epilady. Number 2.
They say as long as you keep the shots up to date, the flying dog makes a
wonderful pet.
Ha, ha, ha. Good with kids and can carry, yes, in answer to your question, a
small amount
of luggage. Uh, number 2. Finally getting the rubber mouse away from socks. And
the number
one highlight of Roger Clinton's first 100 days. Higher approval rating than
his brother. There
you go!
All right. How are we doing? Is everything all right? Everything on time? Good.
Our first
guest is an Oscar and a Tony award-winning actor. Wow, you can't beat that, can
you?
Both. Won an Academy Award and a Tony. Cool. Uh, his films of course include,
uh, The Big Chill
and, uh, A Fish Named Wanda. How about The Big Chilled Fish? Did you see that
one? Missed
that one. Oh, that was a great film. That's another one of those hybrid things.
Yeah. And
now, uh, his newest effort entitled Dave opens on May 7th. Ladies and gentlemen,
here he is,
Kevin Kline. Kevin!
Kevin!
Good to see you. Good to see you. Welcome back to the program and again, thank
you for
your time and congratulations on a great career and what looks like another
great movie. Thank
you. Yeah. Was that all in one breath? Well, more or less. How's your, how's
your voice?
Somebody said you had laryngitis. I am just, uh, recovering from, uh, laryngitis.
I've been
talking nonstop for about three weeks about this movie. You've been out
promoting it. Promoting
my life. I'm not promoting it. Promoting my life. I'm just recovering from laryngitis.
I'm
just recovering from laryngitis. I've been talking nonstop for about three
weeks about this movie.
You've been out promoting it. Promoting my life. I'm just recovering from laryngitis.
Not promoting it. Promoting myself. Promoting the movie. Promoting, uh, you
know, good times
and fun for all. Give, give people a sense of, of what that is like, uh, why is
it required
and how much of it do you do it? Do you enjoy it and how does it go? See, I, I
don't think
it is, I think it does nothing. I think coming on this show or doing interviews
with various
newspapers is, uh, I, I, I don't do this show. I don't, never, never mind. No.
What I was
saying is, I, I don't think it, I, I think it's all very important. Uh. Wait a
minute. It
didn't, it didn't seem like that's what you were getting at. No, I don't. I get,
I've been
doing this for a long, for three weeks now, nonstop. No. You get a little punchy,
don't
you? You lose your voice. You go, and I, I thought it was, I thought it was
from just talking
and catching a cold, but I think it's psychosomatic. I think it's from being
asked really stupid
questions that I can't answer. So you go, but you answer them anyway. So pretty
soon
your body says, you're lying. You're lying. It just cuts it off. It just shuts
down. Yeah.
Well, you'll tell no more lies today. Yeah. But it's coming back now and I
think it's just
from talking to you. Who, who asks the stupid questions? Well. That's a, that's
a good question.
Um. Everyone asks me that question, but I'm used to it now. No, uh, the, you
know, you,
the, you sit in a room. They say, we're doing a press junket. It'll be three
days, nonstop,
about 600. Various cities around the country. You sit in a chair and then a TV
interviewer
comes in and does their five minute midday Cleveland show. Right. So it's the,
the TV writer
in Cleveland who asks the stupid questions. Yeah, Cleveland. Cleveland, every,
they come from
all over. They come from Europe. Yeah. And then, and then the next day after
you've done
600 television interviews, you do, uh, 400 print interviews. Right. You sit
around a table
and they'll ask you the same questions. Okay. But now you know that they're
gonna misquote
you. Give, give us an example of, of the high end of this and the low end of
this. What
would be, as a, as a filmmaker, as an artist, as an actor, as a, uh, a thespian,
what is,
what is a good, what is a good question? What do you like to hear? What is the
kind of
thing you respond to? Well, a question that sort of bespeaks a certain amount
of knowledge
about the craft or, um, it's not just downright insulting in terms of just what
it is we do.
Uh, we actor thespians and, uh, slash actor slash thespians. Um, um, but, um,
well, you, you get
questions like, okay, now in this movie, I played two characters. I played the
president, a fictional
president, not our current president, a fictional president, and then I play a
guy who looks just
like him. Good casting. Right. Don't you think? And, and, uh, I played the
president for just
for like three or four scenes. Then I played this guy, Dave, who is, uh, who
just happens
to look like him. Right. So I get questions like, now, did you ever have to
play both characters on the same day?
I went, yeah, sometimes I'd shoot a scene in the morning where I was the
president and that afternoon I'd be Dave.
Sure. Did you ever get them confused?
Well, no, I, you know, they always told me before I go, go on, you know, which
one I'm playing. They write it on the call sheet so I don't...
What do they think? They think like someone holds up cue cards and the director
tells us what to do
and then we just kind of, they wind us up. You know, we, we do a little work.
We memorize a couple lines.
But it, it seems to me like you, you might get confused.
Because, there's a good chance, you know, I, yeah, I don't know.
You don't get confused. Do you get confused? Do you ever get confused like when
you're doing this show?
Like, wait a minute. Is this me, Dave, doing my show? Or is this me driving to
work?
I, I think I actually have signaled for turns while at the desk and...
They just bring out another guest.
You know, it, it actually is a little like picking up hitchhikers now that you
mention it.
It's like driving to work. Hey, there's Kevin. Hey, Kevin, get in. Come on.
Drive into town, do us a show.
Uh, your lovely wife was here a couple of weeks ago.
I saw her, yeah.
Oh, she's the best. You're the luckiest man in the world.
I know, man.
You kissed her hand when she came home.
Well, that's all right. I can kiss her hand. Just relax, will ya?
Well, I'm just...
What a, what a maniac!
Well, no, I just never, it was sort of old world. It was kind of elegant.
Well, thank you.
I just hadn't seen you do that ever before.
All right, buddy, get out! Get out of the car!
Uh, and you have a great, uh, little son, Owen.
Yes, I do.
Yes, I do.
All right, we have to do a commercial here.
We'll, uh, come back with Kevin Kline, kids.
How do you do?
Kevin Kline, a fine actor and a gentleman, is here.
And also later, uh, Tina Turner.
And, uh, you probably know this, but if, if you don't, uh, Kevin is married to
a, uh, wonderful actress in her own right, as they say, and a delightful woman
who has been a guest on this program many, many times and is here tonight in
our audience.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Say hello to the lovely Phoebe Cates.
Phoebe where?
There she is.
Wait a minute.
Can I, can I, can you play that back?
Hey, let me ask you a question.
Wait a minute.
Do you sometimes get confused about where your wife is, Kevin?
Could you pull over, right over here?
Uh.
Who's, who's watching our child?
She's, she's up there.
Your child is here, here at the daycare center.
Who is that guy that's next to her?
That's a lookalike, right?
She's here with a lumberjack.
Uh.
He's kissing her hand.
Let's talk, uh, about the, uh, the film.
What kind of things did you get to do?
You were playing a guy who gets to play the president, so what kind of things
did you do for the film?
Well, my research, a lot of people have asked me this and it's a great question.
Uh.
And they said, what did you do to research?
You know, cause you got to play the president.
But in fact, I play a guy who is pretending to be the president.
So there's no research.
No research at all.
I just had to stay stupid.
Cause I didn't want to know too much, you know.
That was my research.
Except the one thing I had to do was, I didn't want to know too much, you know.
That was my research.
Except the one thing I had to do.
I didn't want to know too much.
I didn't want to know too much, you know.
I didn't want to know too much.
I didn't want to know too much.
I didn't want to know too much.
That was my research.
Except the one thing I had to do is, as the guy impersonating the president, I'm
asked
to go in and throw the inaugural first pitch.
So a few days before we actually started filming, we went up to the Camden Yards,
you know.
That's a great ballpark, isn't it?
Great ballpark.
Wonderful ballpark.
So this must be very exciting for you cause I know you play ball yourself.
Well, I played outfield.
Yeah.
And now that's the guy who is pretending to be the president.
Well, I played outfield.
Yeah.
And now the script says that he uncorks this fabulous curve ball that just goes
burning
right across the plate.
And I go, well, I'm an outfielder.
I can throw it, you know.
Can I run out to center field and just throw a guy out at home?
No, it doesn't work.
The president is taking a guy out from deep center.
Yeah.
Okay.
Just start rounding a second.
Go!
So they said, no.
And I said, well, I got to learn, you know, the form at least and learn how to
throw
a curve ball.
Can you track someone down?
I called Warner Brothers.
And they said, yeah.
They called me back the next day.
And I figured they'd get me some high school or college ball.
Sure.
Show me the grip.
Just help you out.
Yeah.
He said, well, we got Mel Stottlemyre from the Mets.
He'll be out at Shea Stadium at four o'clock tomorrow.
Wow.
Pitching coach out there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's the pitching coach for the Mets.
And so I thought, oh, great, you know.
So I 