Name: Burt Reynolds on Letterman, December 11, 1984
Uploaded: 2016-06-11T04:34:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Burt Reynolds on Letterman, December 11, 1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Burt Reynolds on Letterman, December 11, 1984' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-11. Transcript available.

I want some paperwork. I want everything to be just so for our first guest, so
let me...
All right.
Get this out of the way. I believe we're ready.
It's truly a pleasure to welcome my first guest to this program.
He is currently co-starring with Clint Eastwood in a film called City Heat.
Please welcome Burt Reynolds.
All right, Burt. Nice to meet you. How are you, sir?
Thank you.
Nice to see you. Thank you very much for being here.
Thank you.
What do you think? The audience loves you. That makes you feel great, doesn't
it?
It makes me feel wanted.
Yeah.
How long ago did you actually live in New York City?
I lived here... I came here in 1957, 56.
And I was here about two years, but I didn't live here.
I just kind of existed on pigeons whenever I could grab one.
Ripped the head off one.
I lived in the ripped horn, which is a strange existence in its own right.
Was this fun at all, or was it just overwhelmingly peculiar?
It was both, which has been the story of my life.
Yeah.
Overwhelmingly peculiar and fun.
We had, I was going to acting schools, which I got kicked out of most of.
I went to the...
Why would they kick you out of an acting school?
Because I couldn't act.
Oh.
Hey, if you ask a dumb question like that, you're going to get an answer like
that.
And then I went to Stella Adler.
She was terrific.
I liked her a lot.
You just kind of sit on the floor and stare at her knees.
She praises you a lot.
Yeah.
But I never acted.
Yeah.
Then I finally ended up with Wynne Hanman, who was wonderful.
He was very kind.
And I was real, real shy in those days.
And I was.
I was real shy.
And in my class, which is kind of astounding, really, was Carol Lawrence, who
nobody knew.
Red Buttons.
Jan Murray, who was doing a treasure hunt show.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Wanted to be an actor.
Yeah.
And treasure girl, please.
They'd say, that's not in the scene, Gene.
And Frank Gifford, who was playing for the Giants at the time and was gorgeous.
Yeah.
I really resented that.
And I was real.
I was just so shy.
And we get these improvisational scenes going.
And slowly, I sort of came along, I guess.
And that was the days of live television.
And a friend of mine was doing a show called The Frontiers of Faith.
You ever heard of that?
No.
No.
I have heard of that treasure hunt thing, though.
Well, that was because of the treasure girl.
The Frontiers of Faith was a live show on Sunday morning.
And this guy was the assistant producer on the show.
And he said that they needed some guy to throw through a window.
And because it was live, and they'd never throw anybody through a window,
because you wouldn't do that on Frontiers of Faith.
No.
But it was a story about a gangster who had, you know, suddenly found God right
after he threw the guy out about 12 stories.
And they said, well, we're going to find a guy.
And I said, how much do you get for that?
And they said, 150 bucks.
And I said, hey, I'm your man.
Yeah.
And so I came down.
And but because it was live, you had to play the part of the guy, you know, say
a few lines, you know, a few lines and then out the window.
And so I came in and I was too dumb to be scared.
And I did the part and they threw me out the window and got to 150, had my card,
my after card.
And as those things happened, this guy went right from there to craft theater.
And I went to craft theater and a lot of other shows.
But I was they always asked for whenever they wanted to set someone on fire,
you know, or said, we've got a stair fall here, about a 70 foot stair fall.
I said, get that Reynolds kid.
This kid's got a brain about the size of a pea.
But I was in there.
I was really trying to act, you know.
And my mom, I used to call her.
God bless her.
I'd say, I'm on a show next week and you've got to be sure and watch.
And she said, how are you going to die?
And I'd say, no, no, I'm telling you, I got a really great part.
And I had a terrific part.
It was one of those scenes.
In fact, I was going right for the Emmy.
It looked big for me.
And I had, they set me on fire and they threw me out of a window.
I land in an alley and they throw water on me and I'm dying.
And the chief of the fire department comes up to this detective and the
detective says, did anybody live?
And he says, he did.
Now, we rehearsed and a page and a half, you know, good stuff.
You know, when you, when you know, at the very end, when you go, really good
stuff.
So I, I, I, I saw it.
I mean, there's no question about it.
An Emmy for sure.
So I called mom.
She had the whole, I mean, the whole neighborhood came over.
And, uh, Paul Ford, who started acting very late in life, uh, was rather
nervous because it was live.
You remember Paul Ford?
Paul Ford from, he was, uh, among other things, he was on Sergeant Bilko, wasn't
he?
That's right.
Sweet man.
And then looked a little bit like a frog.
You know, he had a real funny little face.
Very likable.
Nice.
Lovely, lovely man.
Well, he's standing there and they set me on fire, put the glue on my back and
lit me up, threw me out the window, crashed down in the alley, doused the water
on me.
The detective walks up to Paul Ford and says, anybody live?
And he looks over at me and says, nope.
Nope, nobody made it.
Uh, we have to do a commercial here.
We'll be right back with Burt Reynolds, folks.
Come on back.
Thank you.
Thanks, Paul.
Thank you, folks.
So, uh, so how much more of this did you take before you headed west?
Uh, I headed west right soon after that.
Did you have a deal to go out?
Did somebody say, uh, you'd be great for the film, come on out?
Or did you just, uh, pack up and go out on your own?
I tested for a film called, but not for me, with Clark Gable.
This is a huge break for you, then, at that time.
If you get this part, you're in, uh...
A huge test.
A huge test.
Not a break.
Uh, I flew out to, uh, California with, um, George Meharis.
And we were, uh, he and I and another guy tested.
And we walked in, and I saw Clark Gable.
Wow.
I mean, he was gorgeous.
Dogs, women, men, everybody looked at this guy and said, woof.
And so we were standing in this big room, and in those days, you watched the
other people test.
You know, you didn't go out.
I guess you could walk outside, but we all watched.
And, uh, George did his test with Clark.
And, uh, Gable said, uh, you duck, aren't you?
And, uh, George said, what?
You duck, aren't you?
You duck, aren't you?
And, uh, and George said, I'm a New Yorker.
You know, I'm a duck, aren't you?
So I thought to myself, if he asked me that, I'm going to come up with a clever
answer, and, you know, I'll be in.
See?
That's the way my mind worked at the age of 22.
So, uh, I went up to test next.
Meanwhile, the guy that was sitting next to me was so good-looking.
I mean, it was real scary.
And, uh, I wanted to, you know, hit him in the face with a monkey wrench or
something.
But I got up, and I'm standing next to Mr. Gable, who was really something.
And, uh, he said, about, you know, it was four minutes of conversation.
He said, run on cue.
You ducker?
And I said, I can't shoot anything since I saw Bambi.
And Mr. Gable went, so we did that scene.
I came back, and the other guy went up, and he said to this other guy, Mr. Gorgeous,
you duck hunt?
And this guy says, I got it over and under.
It's, I don't know what, it's Mr. Weston, I think.
I like to shoot, uh, duck and geese, mostly, but I usually get doubles.
And I told him to, turn to George, and I said, George, we are on our way back
to New York.
And that guy got the part.
And that guy today is Mr. Goodwrench.
Which is all right, because he's still gorgeous.
Yeah, and still, and the work, but do you suppose he ever actually went duck
hunting with this guy?
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Would you?
Yeah, I guess, sure.
I would have, listen, man, I would have dug for whatever he said he dug for.
Uh-huh.
And then, and then, about that time, I decided that I would make my move out to
California.
Yeah, so you stayed out there.
What year was this?
Do you remember off of that?
Yeah, I went out in, in 57 or 58, and it sort of bounced around, and it didn't
do too well.
But I met a, uh, a little starlet.
Yeah, now that's what I was going to ask you about.
Do you, do you remember your first, uh, I don't know how to put this exactly,
but, but you're, you're, you're out there and you're, you're dating.
My first, uh, actual physical encounter with a, a starlet.
Is that what you're trying to say?
Yeah.
Now, is this, is this a starlet or a movie star?
There's a difference, isn't there?
This girl was a, well, yeah, there is.
Now, give us, give us the breakdown.
Movie star, starlet, what, how does that work?
I'll give you the breakdown.
All right.
The movie star is duck hunt, I guess.
The movie star is Elizabeth Taylor.
Yeah.
Elizabeth Taylor is a movie star.
Yeah.
A starlet is, if one bad performance, she's on her way to Pomona.
That's a starlet.
But she's real pretty and, you know, very visible and, uh, built like, you know,
the Trump Tower.
And, and on her way, hopefully, if everything goes right.
Everything goes right.
Okay.
But she, everybody knew this girl because she had a, uh, uh, a T-bird, uh,
decorated with chicken feathers.
Oh, that's nice.
She had kind of a low, low, low key profile.
Anyway, I went out with her and everybody knew her and everybody in, in, who I
knew in college knew her.
And I went out with her and I, uh, uh, I got lucky, you know, as the saying
goes.
And I remember driving home and I've often wondered if, if, if people do this
today when they, you know, I mean, if some young lady and I were to, you know,
have a, a lingering,
kiss, kiss, you know, I stopped at a red light.
I'm just going to say one bad word, but it's not a real bad word.
I said, I'm a movie star!
We'll, uh, we'll be right back after station identification.
I thought that was thoughtful of you to learn.
Later in this program, Herbie Hancock will be here also, um, tomorrow, actress
Mary Lou Henner.
You know Mary Lou Henner.
You were in a film with her.
Two films.
Oh, yes.
Three films, two films.
Yes, yes.
She's a very nice woman.
She's a sensational woman.
And I might add the best smelling guest we've ever had.
I noticed that too.
She smells unbelievable.
Uh, also tomorrow, uh, we have this man on because Mary Lou asked for him.
Uh, K-Mar, the magician.
That'll be tomorrow.
Oh.
K-Mar, the magician.
That's tomorrow.
I wonder what the connection is there.
Well, I think they're working together now.
Uh, now tell me about, speaking of working, tell me about working with, uh,
Clint Eastwood.
Now, what is this like?
Is this fun?
Is he tough?
Is he, is he nasty?
A nice guy?
Is it, can you joke around with this guy?
He's a barrel of laughs.
I tell you.
No, I've known Clint for 25 years.
And, uh, we were fired the very same day from Universal 25 years ago.
Fired from, from what and how?
How do they?
From the, from the studio.
They called us both in this office.
And this guy said to Clint, your Adam's apple sticks out way too far.
And you've got a chipped tooth, you've got little squinty eyes, and you talk
too slow.
And I said, what's the matter with me?
And he said, you can't act.
So, uh, they've been telling me and telling me, and I'm still here.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, uh, uh.
Anyway, we, uh, we got up and we walked down the street, which was a long
street, uh, Universal.
And Clint, who only says about 25 words a year anyway, didn't, didn't say
anything.
And I said, Clint, you're in big trouble.
He said, why is that?
I said, because I can learn how to act, but you're never going to get rid of
that damn Adam's apple.
Anyway, he went on to, to make, uh, Mini Mill and come back, uh, at Universal.
And that guy who fired us is now spinning in a grave somewhere.
Yeah.
Uh, he, he was just terrific to me.
He was, I, I adored him before I did the film.
But now, after working with him, I like him even more.
Before we started to do the film, I said, let's do a film where we don't say
one, you know, bad word.
No four-letter words.
And, and, and he said, great.
And so we did.
Yeah.
The whole picture is...
I gotta clarify something because I saw the film and there are a couple in
there.
But never the S word or the F word.
Or the word you said earlier tonight on the show.
Yes.
But you and I didn't have an agreement before the show.
That's right.
We did.
And the picture, the picture would have a G rating, except for the fact that
Clint kills
and maims and strangles 147 people.
And it really was fun to make.
It was the most fun I've had ever making a picture.
And, and he's such a sweet guy.
I mean, I just, I just love the guy.
It's a, you know, it has a good look to the film.
It's a very nice, it's a, it's a period.
They call these period pieces, don't they?
Period pieces.
Yeah.
But it has a, you, you successfully captured the flavor of, of the period.
Yes.
The 1920s and the jazz period, which I, I love anyway.
That's why I love the fact he got Herbie Hancock.
And I mean, I'm a jazz freak.
Also, I like cars with feathers on them.
Now this woman, but just for a second, this woman now, the starlet, the starlet,
she, did
she go on to be a star, a movie star?
Yeah.
Now, what was her name?
Yeah.
What would, give us a, give us a picture that she was in that we, you know,
maybe two or
three women in that we, you know.
Because I hate guys that do that.
Nothing more slimy.
I hate, I hate those kind of books that come out and say, I went to bed with
Warren Beatty
and he gets a 10 and, you know, I, I hate that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
I mean, if a, if, if a woman or a man give themselves to each other in a loving
way, in
a nice way, I think that that's something very, well, it sounds like it was a
loving, a loving
relationship.
It was.
Based on, based on you and Kuwengav screaming.
Well, I, when, at the time I thought I was in ecstasy.
Yeah.
So it was, it was a loving way.
Give us a little hint.
I know it stinks.
I know it's ugly.
Give us a little hint.
I'll give, I'll give you a little hint.
All right.
She was in a movie that had a lot of underwater sequences.
I know who this is.
I know I have it.
I have it.
Okay, that's good.
That's helpful information.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mr. Reynolds.
You can go back to your home now and no further questioning.
We have.
It's not John Hall.
This is exciting though.
Huh?
I'm excited about that.
You'll be calling me from time to time just to check if you're right.
Updates.
Yeah, updates.
Sure.
We want to look at some footage here from the, from the movie City Heat with Burt
Reynolds
and Clint Eastwood.
You want to tell the folks what we're going to see?
Yeah, this is the very first scene in the picture and I play a private
detective and he plays
a cop.
We were cops together and then I decided to become a gumshoe and he doesn't
like me too
much.
And so I get in trouble and he does his usual silent thing, drinks coffee and
watches me
get killed.
All right.
From the, if the film City Heat, it's all over the country now, isn't it?
Coming, coming soon at theaters near you right now.
Every theater except where Eddie Murphy is.
That's what we left the cage door open, huh?
Archie, how you doing?
It's good.
A couple of cupcakes.
A couple of cupcakes.
Lieutenant, aren't you going to do anything?
Yeah, I'm going to refill.
He can take care of himself.
I'm not disturbing you, am I?
I'm going to sit you with you there.
I'm going to sit you with you there.
I'm going to sit you with you there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
I'm going to sit you with me there.
City Heat.
Well, I'm sure that will do very well for both you and Mr. Eastwood.
Thank you.
You guys own part of that, don't you?
I saw the credits.
It was you and him have something you own in addition to...
We produced it.
The two of us produced it.
That means huge show business dollars for you and me.
No, it means that...
You have a restaurant.
You also have a restaurant.
I have a restaurant.
That's true.
But the deal was structured in such a way that I don't get quite as much as
Clint.
Yeah.
Let me ask you.
We're running out of time.
Let me just ask you one thing about this restaurant because a lot of time guys
will sell their name
to a restaurant and they open it up and they don't know anything about it.
Really?
We have a menu.
Where is your restaurant?
My restaurant is in Fort Lauderdale.
It's in the most beautiful spot.
Burton Jack's.
Burton Jack's.
Here's the menu.
Current menu.
I'm going to ask you a couple of questions about the menu.
What appetizers?
Huh?
Appetizers.
Appetizers.
Well, you know you're going to have some stuff out of the sea.
All right.
Let me ask you the...
Let me ask you...
Let me ask you the...
Let me ask you the price of the stuffed jumbo clam.
Sometimes we like to lower that price right down to the bottom and then
sometimes we like
to jack that baby right up on the weekend.
But I would guess it would be somewhere between $6 and $2.
That's right.
It's just dead center.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
$3.95 for the stuffed jumbo clam.
Can we quit now?
Let's try just one more.
Oh.
What?
What?
Desserts?
I don't see desserts on here.
No.
No.
No.
Let me...
One more.
One more here.
Fresh vegetables.
The category is fresh vegetables, Bert, for $50.
Uh-huh.
Sautéed mushrooms...
You've never eaten this in your life.
Sautéed mushrooms and pea pods.
I haven't ever eaten them.
But isn't it interesting that they serve it separately, right?
Yeah.
And it has a price on its own.
That's right.
Well, I...
You get a little portion of peas and...
Sautéed onions.
Sautéed mushrooms.
Pea pods.
I would say...
Somewhere between the price of...
$4...
And something else.
I would say...
$4 or over.
Oh, Bert.
This is a bargain.
Ladies and gentlemen, when you go down there...
A dollar and a half.
No, no.
Here's what you load up on.
On these sautéed mushrooms and pea pods.
Son of a gun.
Put 'em in your pocket.
$2.75.
Bert, thank you very much for your time.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
We'll be right back with Herbie Hancock.
Thanks, folks.
We'll be right back with Herbie Hancock, folks.

Burt Reynolds on Letterman, December 11, 1984

I want some paperwork. I want everything to be just so for our first guest, so
let me...
All right.
Get this out of the way. I believe we're ready.
It's truly a pleasure to welcome my first guest to this program.
He is currently co-starring with Clint Eastwood in a film called City Heat.
Please welcome Burt Reynolds.
All right, Burt. Nice to meet you. How are you, sir?
Thank you.
Nice to see you. Thank you very much for being here.
Thank you.
What do you think? The audience loves you. That makes you feel great, doesn't
it?
It makes me feel wanted.
Yeah.
How long ago did you actually live in New York City?
I lived here... I came here in 1957, 56.
And I was here about two years, but I didn't live here.
I just kind of existed on pigeons whenever I could grab one.
Ripped the head off one.
I lived in the ripped horn, which is a strange existence in its own right.
Was this fun at all, or was it just overwhelmingly peculiar?
It was both, which has been the story of my life.
Yeah.
Overwhelmingly peculiar and fun.
We had, I was going to acting schools, which I got kicked out of most of.
I went to the...
Why would they kick you out of an acting school?
Because I couldn't act.
Oh.
Hey, if you ask a dumb question like that, you're going to get an answer like
that.
And then I went to Stella Adler.
She was terrific.
I liked her a lot.
You just kind of sit on the floor and stare at her knees.
She praises you a lot.
Yeah.
But I never acted.
Yeah.
Then I finally ended up with Wynne Hanman, who was wonderful.
He was very kind.
And I was real, real shy in those days.
And I was.
I was real shy.
And in my class, which is kind of astounding, really, was Carol Lawrence, who
nobody knew.
Red Buttons.
Jan Murray, who was doing a treasure hunt show.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Wanted to be an actor.
Yeah.
And treasure girl, please.
They'd say, that's not in the scene, Gene.
And Frank Gifford, who was playing for the Giants at the time and was gorgeous.
Yeah.
I really resented that.
And I was real.
I was just so shy.
And we get these improvisational scenes going.
And slowly, I sort of came along, I guess.
And that was the days of live television.
And a friend of mine was doing a show called The Frontiers of Faith.
You ever heard of that?
No.
No.
I have heard of that treasure hunt thing, though.
Well, that was because of the treasure girl.
The Frontiers of Faith was a live show on Sunday morning.
And this guy was the assistant producer on the show.
And he said that they needed some guy to throw through a window.
And because it was live, and they'd never throw anybody through a window,
because you wouldn't do that on Frontiers of Faith.
No.
But it was a story about a gangster who had, you know, suddenly found God right
after he threw the guy out about 12 stories.
And they said, well, we're going to find a guy.
And I said, how much do you get for that?
And they said, 150 bucks.
And I said, hey, I'm your man.
Yeah.
And so I came down.
And but because it was live, you had to play the part of the guy, you know, say
a few lines, you know, a few lines and then out the window.
And so I came in and I was too dumb to be scared.
And I did the part and they threw me out the window and got to 150, had my card,
my after card.
And as those things happened, this guy went right from there to craft theater.
And I went to craft theater and a lot of other shows.
But I was they always asked for whenever they wanted to set someone on fire,
you know, or said, we've got a stair fall here, about a 70 foot stair fall.
I said, get that Reynolds kid.
This kid's got a brain about the size of a pea.
But I was in there.
I was really trying to act, you know.
And my mom, I used to call her.
God bless her.
I'd say, I'm on a show next week and you've got to be sure and watch.
And she said, how are you going to die?
And I'd say, no, no, I'm telling you, I got a really great part.
And I had a terrific part.
It was one of those scenes.
In fact, I was going right for the Emmy.
It looked big for me.
And I had, they set me on fire and they threw me out of a window.
I land in an alley and they throw water on me and I'm dying.
And the chief of the fire department comes up to this detective and the
detective says, did anybody live?
And he says, he did.
Now, we rehearsed and a page and a half, you know, good stuff.
You know, when you, when you know, at the very end, when you go, really good
stuff.
So I, I, I, I saw it.
I mean, there's no question about it.
An Emmy for sure.
So I called mom.
She had the whole, I mean, the whole neighborhood came over.
And, uh, Paul Ford, who started acting very late in life, uh, was rather
nervous because it was live.
You remember Paul Ford?
Paul Ford from, he was, uh, among other things, he was on Sergeant Bilko, wasn't
he?
That's right.
Sweet man.
And then looked a little bit like a frog.
You know, he had a real funny little face.
Very likable.
Nice.
Lovely, lovely man.
Well, he's standing there and they set me on fire, put the glue on my back and
lit me up, threw me out the window, crashed down in the alley, doused the water
on me.
The detective walks up to Paul Ford and says, anybody live?
And he looks over at me and says, nope.
Nope, nobody made it.
Uh, we have to do a commercial here.
We'll be right back with Burt Reynolds, folks.
Come on back.
Thank you.
Thanks, Paul.
Thank you, folks.
So, uh, so how much more of this did you take before you headed west?
Uh, I headed west right soon after that.
Did you have a deal to go out?
Did somebody say, uh, you'd be great for the film, come on out?
Or did you just, uh, pack up and go out on your own?
I tested for a film called, but not for me, with Clark Gable.
This is a huge break for you, then, at that time.
If you get this part, you're in, uh...
A huge test.
A huge test.
Not a break.
Uh, I flew out to, uh, California with, um, George Meharis.
And we were, uh, he and I and another guy tested.
And we walked in, and I saw Clark Gable.
Wow.
I mean, he was gorgeous.
Dogs, women, men, everybody looked at this guy and said, woof.
And so we were standing in this big room, and in those days, you watched the
other people test.
You know, you didn't go out.
I guess you could walk outside, but we all watched.
And, uh, George did his test with Clark.
And, uh, Gable said, uh, you duck, aren't you?
And, uh, George said, what?
You duck, aren't you?
You duck, aren't you?
And, uh, and George said, I'm a New Yorker.
You know, I'm a duck, aren't you?
So I thought to myself, if he asked me that, I'm going to come up with a clever
answer, and, you know, I'll be in.
See?
That's the way my mind worked at the age of 22.
So, uh, I went up to test next.
Meanwhile, the guy that was sitting next to me was so good-looking.
I mean, it was real scary.
And, uh, I wanted to, you know, hit him in the face with a monkey wrench or
something.
But I got up, and I'm standing next to Mr. Gable, who was really something.
And, uh, he said, about, you know, it was four minutes of conversation.
He said, run on cue.
You ducker?
And I said, I can't shoot anything since I saw Bambi.
And Mr. Gable went, so we did that scene.
I came back, and the other guy went up, and he said to this other guy, Mr. Gorgeous,
you duck hunt?
And this guy says, I got it over and under.
It's, I don't know what, it's Mr. Weston, I think.
I like to shoot, uh, duck and geese, mostly, but I usually get doubles.
And I told him to, turn to George, and I said, George, we are on our way back
to New York.
And that guy got the part.
And that guy today is Mr. Goodwrench.
Which is all right, because he's still gorgeous.
Yeah, and still, and the work, but do you suppose he ever actually went duck
hunting with this guy?
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
Would you?
Yeah, I guess, sure.
I would have, listen, man, I would have dug for whatever he said he dug for.
Uh-huh.
And then, and then, about that time, I decided that I would make my move out to
California.
Yeah, so you stayed out there.
What year was this?
Do you remember off of that?
Yeah, I went out in, in 57 or 58, and it sort of bounced around, and it didn't
do too well.
But I met a, uh, a little starlet.
Yeah, now that's what I was going to ask you about.
Do you, do you remember your first, uh, I don't know how to put this exactly,
but, but you're, you're, you're out there and you're, you're dating.
My first, uh, actual physical encounter with a, a starlet.
Is that what you're trying to say?
Yeah.
Now, is this, is this a starlet or a movie star?
There's a difference, isn't there?
This girl was a, well, yeah, there is.
Now, give us, give us the breakdown.
Movie star, starlet, what, how does that work?
I'll give you the breakdown.
All right.
The movie star is duck hunt, I guess.
The movie star is Elizabeth Taylor.
Yeah.
Elizabeth Taylor is a movie star.
Yeah.
A starlet is, if one bad performance, she's on her way to Pomona.
That's a starlet.
But she's real pretty and, you know, very visible and, uh, built like, you know,
the Trump Tower.
And, and on her way, hopefully, if everything goes right.
Everything goes right.
Okay.
But she, everybody knew this girl because she had a, uh, uh, a T-bird, uh,
decorated with chicken feathers.
Oh, that's nice.
She had kind of a low, low, low key profile.
Anyway, I went out with her and everybody knew her and everybody in, in, who I
knew in college knew her.
And I went out with her and I, uh, uh, I got lucky, you know, as the saying
goes.
And I remember driving home and I've often wondered if, if, if people do this
today when they, you know, I mean, if some young lady and I were to, you know,
have a, a lingering,
kiss, kiss, you know, I stopped at a red light.
I'm just going to say one bad word, but it's not a real bad word.
I said, I'm a movie star!
We'll, uh, we'll be right back after station identification.
I thought that was thoughtful of you to learn.
Later in this program, Herbie Hancock will be here also, um, tomorrow, actress
Mary Lou Henner.
You know Mary Lou Henner.
You were in a film with her.
Two films.
Oh, yes.
Three films, two films.
Yes, yes.
She's a very nice woman.
She's a sensational woman.
And I might add the best smelling guest we've ever had.
I noticed that too.
She smells unbelievable.
Uh, also tomorrow, uh, we have this man on because Mary Lou asked for him.
Uh, K-Mar, the magician.
That'll be tomorrow.
Oh.
K-Mar, the magician.
That's tomorrow.
I wonder what the connection is there.
Well, I think they're working together now.
Uh, now tell me about, speaking of working, tell me about working with, uh,
Clint Eastwood.
Now, what is this like?
Is this fun?
Is he tough?
Is he, is he nasty?
A nice guy?
Is it, can you joke around with this guy?
He's a barrel of laughs.
I tell you.
No, I've known Clint for 25 years.
And, uh, we were fired the very same day from Universal 25 years ago.
Fired from, from what and how?
How do they?
From the, from the studio.
They called us both in this office.
And this guy said to Clint, your Adam's apple sticks out way too far.
And you've got a chipped tooth, you've got little squinty eyes, and you talk
too slow.
And I said, what's the matter with me?
And he said, you can't act.
So, uh, they've been telling me and telling me, and I'm still here.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, uh, uh.
Anyway, we, uh, we got up and we walked down the street, which was a long
street, uh, Universal.
And Clint, who only says about 25 words a year anyway, didn't, didn't say
anything.
And I said, Clint, you're in big trouble.
He said, why is that?
I said, because I can learn how to act, but you're never going to get rid of
that damn Adam's apple.
Anyway, he went on to, to make, uh, Mini Mill and come back, uh, at Universal.
And that guy who fired us is now spinning in a grave somewhere.
Yeah.
Uh, he, he was just terrific to me.
He was, I, I adored him before I did the film.
But now, after working with him, I like him even more.
Before we started to do the film, I said, let's do a film where we don't say
one, you know, bad word.
No four-letter words.
And, and, and he said, grea