Name: Captain Beefheart on Letterman, November 11, 1982
Uploaded: 2016-06-13T01:19:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Captain Beefheart on Letterman, November 11, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Captain Beefheart on Letterman, November 11, 1982' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-13. Transcript available.

Thank you, boys. Thank you very much. Welcome back to the show, and let me just
update you.
Brooke and Mr. Griffin have left, and everything is pretty much back to normal,
and we'll proceed now.
There's nothing more to be seen here. You folks, go back to your homes. Let's
break it up. Come on, keep moving.
For the last 15 years, my next guest has been making music.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Bob Hope Sandwich!
The Bob Hope Sandwich, what a surprise. Gee, it's certainly great to have the
Bob Hope here.
Bob Hope Sandwich was just down the hall taping a special and decided to drop
by.
That's amazing. Now, what was this special?
It's called Night of a Thousand Celebrity Sandwiches, and it is going to be
fabulous.
Now, who are some of the other celebrity sandwiches that will be on the program
that night?
Well, we've got them all. There's the Sid Caesar, the Milton Berle, the Phyllis
Diller, the Danny Thomas.
Linda Evans is going to be there.
The Linda Evans Sandwich?
No, Linda Evans.
Oh.
Well, the Bob Hope knows you're going to have a lot of marvelous stars coming
out here, and we better get going.
Okay, well, gee, it certainly was a pleasure to see the Bob Hope again. Thank
you very much for stopping by.
Now, remember, that's the Night of a Thousand Celebrity Sandwiches.
Next Thursday night, 9 o'clock, 8 o'clock Central Time, right here on NBC.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Bob Hope.
That certainly turned out to be an exciting night here, didn't it? Oh, boy.
It is show business, or as close as we can get.
Well, for the last 15 years, my next guest has been making music that sounds
like no one else is in the world, and he is, uh...
I wonder if they have a Captain Beefheart sandwich. Well, we'll find out.
Uh, he has acquired a fiercely devoted following among critics and fans.
This is his most recent album right here, Ice Cream for Crow.
Please welcome Don Van Vliet, Captain Beefheart, ladies and gentlemen.
How you doing? Nice to meet you, sir.
How are you? Nice to meet you, sir. Good. Thank you very much, and have a seat
there, if you will.
Thank you. You brought a little, uh, little refreshment along? Got some water?
Yeah, just water, just water, just water.
Would you like a glass for that?
No, but the war is a pimple on a puff-fed dragon.
What did I mean?
No, sorry, you gonna... Go ahead.
Um, before you came out, I was looking at your album.
Let me ask you one question about this gentleman here on the back, a picture of,
obviously, a guy who performed on the album.
Richard Midnight Hat Size Snyder.
Yeah, uh, right.
Yeah, now I know, I know that, uh, I know that you...
No other guests, right?
Well, I don't know.
Well, anyway.
It's been, uh, rather peculiar. Now, I know that you sometimes give musicians
names.
I had to, in this case, Snyder. I mean, I had to give him Midnight Hat Size,
because we got him that hat.
I didn't put those, uh, bow ties on the front and the back, black one and the
white one.
No, it looked better. That red, uh, derby didn't make it without the...
Uh-huh.
But, uh, he's a Winnebago Sioux Indian.
Mm-hmm.
So, Midnight Hat Size, that's a very unusual...
He needed a hat.
They called, called my manager, Gary Lucas, who was also on the side of me,
called him in the middle of the night, said he wore a size 8 hat.
Yeah.
Now, that's impossible.
It is impossible? That's a pretty big hat, isn't it?
Well, I mean, it's possible, but it's impossible in this case.
Well, um, what size hat does he wear?
Uh, 7 and 3 8s.
Oh, good.
Which ain't bad.
Yeah.
But not an 8.
No, not an 8, sure.
If you're just joining us, we're talking about hat sizes, and, uh...
Now, you have an interesting name yourself. Can you tell us a little of the
origin of Captain Beefheart?
Captain Beefheart, a beef in my heart against a society.
They're cutting the beaks off of penguins down at the marina in L.A.
You know that, the water.
Cutting the beaks off of, uh, not pelicans.
Cutting the beaks off, the top beak.
I know, yeah.
But why are they doing that?
I don't know, but I sure would like to find who's doing that.
Well, yeah, that's...
They need a spanking.
No, it's cruel. If, uh, if, uh, if, uh, if in fact that's the case, that seems
like it might be cruel.
Not right.
No.
Uh, now, uh, let's talk about your music. You were the first person to actually
record a video, right?
Yeah, yeah.
How long ago was that?
I think that was, uh, about 72.
What was the name of the song for which you recorded the video?
Lick My Nicales Off, Baby.
Meaning get rid of the labels, Children Coming.
Lick My Nicales Off.
Not nasty things like they thought.
Yeah.
Now, this, uh...
It's a nasty thing.
You were ahead of, of, uh, the rest of the music world, and you're, this video
is now in a museum, isn't it?
Yeah, Modern Art, yeah.
Yeah.
M-O-M-A.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now, we...
Yeah, I think that's a mom's museum of Modern Art.
Yeah.
Uh, now, we have, we have a more current video from, uh...
I was just waiting for my mother.
Okay, that's right.
And my wife.
All right, we're gonna pause here.
Uh, we'll be back with Captain Beefheart.
And, oh, many more hat sizes.
So, come on back.
All right, welcome back, Captain Beefheart.
And you were, you were talking about, uh, Will Lee, our bass player.
He's very, you're good.
Steve Jordan, our drummer.
Yeah, you're a drummer.
Iron Bullet, guitar.
Paul Schaefer, our director.
Uh, now, Captain, if, uh, do I call you Captain or Don?
Don.
Don, okay.
Uh, we're gonna look at, uh, your current, uh, video.
Tell us about that.
This is from, uh, uh, Ice Cream for the Crow?
Ice Cream for the Crow.
Yeah.
What is, what is, what does that mean, exactly, that title?
Uh, it has a lot to do with, uh, Ray Gun.
I mean, I'm in, uh, Saddle Slopes, Aaron Tosses, Jelly Beans, or Rope Tricks.
He's a bad actor.
No, uh, what, what, what it has to do with, uh, what it has to do with, uh,
what it has to do with black and white.
Uh, at a Raven vanilla ice cream.
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
And, uh, we're gonna, uh, we're gonna look at the video now.
Is there anything you want to explain about the clip from the...
I, I'd like to say that, that I really appreciate you showing this because, uh,
what is it, MTV?
I don't want my MTV if you don't want my video.
They, they, they have not, uh...
They won't show it.
Well, it's too bad.
It's their loss.
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
So, uh, all right.
Here, here now, uh, a minute or so of, uh, uh, ice cream for Crow.
Captain Beefheart.
Watch the monitors.
It's so hot.
Looks like you have three peaks, clone.
The moon's so full.
Why, ah, it's all a pumpkin.
You know there's something.
The moon was a stone's throw.
Stop the joke.
I need to say hello to the clone.
Like the fire piano.
The moon showed up, and it started the show.
Tonight there'll be ice cream.
Ice cream for Crow.
Ice cream for Crow.
Captain Beefheart.
Um, that was, uh, appeared to be shot in the desert, and you, you live in the
desert, don't you?
Uh, after a fashion, it was 114 the day we shot that.
It was that hot.
Yeah.
It's so hot.
It was that hot.
Yeah.
Oh.
Do you, do you like, uh, living in the desert?
No.
Really?
When I moved to Arizona, it's hotter.
Uh, if, uh, how, you've lived there quite a while though, haven't you?
You and your wife live there?
Yeah, in a trailer out in, uh, uh, uh, well, way out in the high Mojave.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty nice.
I mean, the ravens for, uh, neighbors.
Uh-huh.
Um, but you, you don't like it, but yet you don't leave.
I love the, the, the, uh, tension, discipline.
Oh.
It's good for painting.
I'm a, uh, painter.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
Uh, is it true that you once managed a Kinney shoe store?
Yeah, the funny part about that is I managed this shoe store, and I quit on, uh,
Christmas
Eve, and I went down to Warner Brothers.
I got signed to Warner Brothers as also Kinney's.
So I walked out of one shoe store into another shoe store.
Jones.
Uh, we're gonna pause here.
We'll continue with, uh, Don Van Vliet, Captain Deepheart, right after you
watch this.
And I thank the studio audience, uh, Don.
Pleasure meeting you.
Thank you.
Come back and see us anytime, sir.
Enjoyed talking with you.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Captain Beefheart, ladies and gentlemen.
Also, my thanks to Merv Griffin.
And, uh, Marv Alpert will, uh, join us on another night.
Now, be sure and join us Monday.
Mel Blank, Bill Murray, and Hunter Thompson, plus, uh, regular, uh, parents by
Brooke Shield.
Have a good weekend, folks.
Good night.
Good night.