Name: Betty White on Letterman, October 1, 1985
Uploaded: 2016-06-16T02:37:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Betty White on Letterman, October 1, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-16. Transcript available. Betty White's first appearance on Late Night.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Betty White on Letterman, October 1, 1985' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-06-16. Transcript available. Betty White's first appearance on Late Night.

We've got a great show. Betty White, Mark Gastineau, Johnny Dark, and many,
many others.
My first guest is a... Do we have many, many others?
My first guest tonight is a talented and charming human being.
She is currently starring in a show on this very network called Golden Girls.
Please say hello to Betty White.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey. How are you?
Oh, that is nice.
How are you?
Hey, you clean up pretty good.
Well, thank you very much. You look good as always.
You look nice as always. You don't want to say you look good.
No, good. I had a chance to be good, and I turned it down.
Congratulations. Now, this is a big time. This is a hit show, isn't it?
Oh, it is so exciting. We can't be coy about it.
We are just all on cloud nine, because it suddenly began to take off, and, well,
it's just the greatest fun I think any of us has had.
Golden Girls is on every Saturday night.
Oh, that is sweet.
Now, what is the way... Explain to people what it is here.
Who are these people? How old are they supposed to be, and where are they
living?
These are four ladies who live together in a house in Miami. There's Dorothy,
who is a divorcee, and Blanche is a widow who owns the house. That's played by
Rue McClanahan. Dorothy is Bea Arthur. Bea Arthur's mother, Estelle Getty,
moved in with us when her retirement home burned down.
Something terrible happened to this woman, didn't it? That's right. Well, she
had a stroke, and it took out her mental sensor, so she says everything as she
really means it. No dissension.
There's no filter. Everything goes from the brain right out the mouth. What she
really thinks of you, and we know people like that. And then I play Rose, who's
just a little off-center. She's just a little slow on the pickup. She's about
two beats behind life.
You play, and I mean this in a real good way, you play a stooge, don't you? Yes,
I absolutely do. Right. And whenever, you know, when everything else fails,
Dorothy does everything but hit me over the head with a newspaper.
But it's very funny, and I know I'm sounding like somebody who talks about
television shows all day, but it's a great cast, and it's very funny, and the
performances are terrific.
Oh, aren't you, William? We are having such a good time. It shouldn't happen to
four ladies of our age and weight, but we are really having a good time.
Okay, your age and weight. And how do you get along with Bea Arthur? Is she a
nice woman?
Oh, well, now, can we really just tell what she really is like? It's not easy,
David. It is not easy to work with that woman. She is, she makes my life sheer
hell.
Oh, I tell you, she is so wonderful.
She's real loud and pushy, isn't she?
She is. She underplays underplaying, you know, but she just, well, all of them,
that it's so wonderful to work with pros,
that when you throw something out, you know, you're going to get it back and
better, and then you throw it back,
and they get something back to you.
It really is something to play with that kind of a team.
This is silly. We don't want to beat this to death, but congratulations.
Oh, yes, we do.
No, no, no.
Now, tell me about, what was this show I have here? This is your biography.
This is your professional life condensed into a paragraph.
Isn't that the...
Is that my life?
That makes you feel insignificant, doesn't it?
It is big.
This is your FBI.
Oh, that's a radio show, isn't it?
That was a radio show. I got that by accident. There was another actress, Betty
White, and I showed up, and they said,
well, we wanted a blonde lady. The other Betty White. I wasn't blonde at that
time.
Then I got suddenly struck blonde not too long ago. But there was no time to be
cast, so that's how that's in the place.
What part did you play on This is Your FBI? Were you kicking in doors and stuff,
or what?
No, I think I said, good morning, sir, or Merry Christmas. Those were the big
radio parts I had.
What was the show we were talking about this afternoon you did in Los Angeles?
I believe it was a TV show, five and a half hours a day, six days a week.
The Al Jarvis show.
The Al Jarvis show?
Sure, the Maple Leaf Ballroom.
And there was a TV show?
TV show.
What time would it come on?
It would come on. It would come on at, like, noon, and we'd go to 6.30.
And it was just, it was really a Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving.
I never spent a Christmas off the air in my life.
Five and a half hours?
Five and a half hours live, doing commercials, live commercials.
But after the first year, didn't they cut it back to five hours?
No, I didn't have to rest this up.
No, matter of fact, Al left after the second year to go over and do a show over
at ABC.
An even longer show.
And he probably, probably, and then Eddie Albert came in for six months, and
then it was easier to give me the show, because I had been there the longest.
So I inherited the show.
Well, what kind of things would you do?
You'd come on, and he'd introduce the cast.
Then what?
Well, the cast consisted of the two of us at first.
I was his girl Friday.
And anybody that would stick their head in the door, we were on the street.
And there was a door that opened, and they'd look in and see what was going on.
We'd interview them.
You know what?
And we were the only game in town, so anybody who'd come through town would do
our show, because it was...
Was this a popular show?
Well, we were the only game in town.
We gave the race results.
And people, yeah, we did.
Would you watch Al take a nap in the afternoon?
And then we had Dr. Ernest Wilson, who would come on with a religious message,
and he was so thrilled, because he'd follow the race results, which got him
into all the bars in town, and he got the message across.
We have to do a commercial here, and then we'll be back.
Good.
We'll get 58 of them in one day.
How many of you?
58 commercials?
Live ones.
That's like a month's work for us.
I'll tell you what, we'll do one now, and then we'll be right back with Betty
White.
You see the sky cam?
Oh, yes.
There it is.
There you are.
You are just...
It's like working a parade, isn't it?
Yes, and as we say in our show, you look so much better this way.
It's so much better.
Everything falls away.
You look down this road, it's just awful.
How long have you been in town?
Since last night.
And how long have you been here?
As soon as we get through here, I'm heading for the airport.
Yeah.
Oh, so what did you do last night?
Have a lot of fun?
Go out?
I went dancing last night, if you want to know.
Regimes.
Really?
There's no fool like an old fool, and I had a wonderful time.
And company?
A big group by yourself?
No, just with an...
Well, I don't go there by myself.
I don't know.
What am I going to stand up there and dance by myself?
I don't know.
I don't go in the place.
I would get arrested, wouldn't I?
No, I think people would be happy to have you.
Well, I'll try again.
Now, how late were you there?
Well, I got back to the hotel about 3.
Ooh.
Isn't that silly?
But I didn't have to get up until 5.30, so that was okay.
It's a big shot.
5.30, you were up?
5.30, I was up, and we've been doing a couple of shows today.
What have you done?
Well, you know what it is, and I...
It's a publication here.
I have heard...
I finally saw it here at your show.
I've been reading all these little...
I've been reading all these little...
This is a collection of people with their clothes off in this magazine.
It's a time-life book.
I keep reading about the fact that they have a book out with nude pictures of
Betty White,
which broke me up.
My folks don't have nude pictures of me as a little kid, because they didn't
think it was that cute.
Now, let me ask you right off.
Is that you?
No, but couldn't it be?
This is me.
The terrible one is me.
No, that's not terrible.
But that's not nude.
That's got a wig and all the ruffles, but...
You're on...
This is a series of playing cards.
You're the nine of hearts.
Or somebody...
Somebody who looks an awful lot like you.
Roe McClanahan swears.
They used her body and pasted my head, but that's not my head.
We all looked alike back in those days.
Let me put my finger there, and we can see what the...
She does look like me, though, except I think my...
Now, what's the deal on the earmuffs?
Oh, you didn't do this, though, did you?
I don't know.
Must have been awfully chilly in the studio that day.
If I had done it, the earmuffs would not have been there.
They would have been here, but then...
But that's not you, huh?
No, that's not me, and that's not me.
Yeah, is Bea Arthur in there?
No, it's Roe McClanahan.
Let's see who else we have.
This is a pretty seedy deal, this thing here.
One of the fellas on our set went around the various newsstands looking for it,
and he said, do you have this magazine?
And they said, no, but we got celebrity skin.
It's just as good.
Celebrity skin?
What is this, all these nude pictures?
I don't have dressed in front of my dogs.
Oh.
You know who that is?
Well, I'd know her anywhere.
No, I don't.
It's John Chancellor.
So you're leaving right now.
I'm leaving right now, but thank you for the generous plug and all that stuff.
Oh, thanks for being here.
Come back any time, and congratulations, and good luck again on the show.
I hope it's on a long, long time.
And say goodbye to Stephanie for me, will you?
Stephanie?
Oh, Stephanie.
She's long gone.
She's long gone.
Nice to see you again.
Thanks, Betty.
Take care.
We've got to go here for a station identification.
Thank you.
Thank you.