Name: Mr. Curious Collection on Letterman, Part 1 1984-85
Uploaded: 2016-07-14T02:53:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mr. Curious Collection on Letterman, Part 1 1984-85' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mr. Curious Collection on Letterman, Part 1 1984-85' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-07-14. Transcript available.

All right, it's time now, ladies and gentlemen, to introduce a brand new
segment on the show.
Oh, gosh, I hope it goes well.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time once again for a visit from Mr. Curious.
Excuse me, ma'am.
What do you have here in the bag?
Right there in the bag.
Come on.
All right, excuse me a minute.
What do you have there in the bag?
Oh, my dinner for tonight.
What do you have in the bag?
I see in there you have chicken noodle soup, cup of soup.
Can I have that?
Sure.
So, thank you very much.
Nice talking with you.
You can take it home and eat it.
Bye-bye.
How are you?
How do you do?
Can I ask you what you have in your bag?
Pardon me.
Could you tell me what you have in your bag there?
Excuse me.
You got a minute?
Come here a second.
What do you have here in the bag?
Do you know what?
Personal belongings.
Personal belongings.
Can we take a look at them?
What do you have there in the bag?
Food?
What do you have in the bag?
What do you have in your bag here?
I got it in my bag.
What's in the bag?
What do you want to ask me?
I'm just curious.
Clothes.
What kind of clothing?
You want to do a book.
Oh, yeah?
Can we take a look at it?
You told me what I did first.
I want to know what I'm talking about.
Joe Friday, Homicide.
Let's see the present.
You just hold the ice cream from there.
No, don't eat these.
No, don't eat them.
What is that, a shirt?
That's nice.
I like that.
Oh, how many shirts you get?
Two shirts.
All right, let's hold this up here.
So you got a shirt, three shirts.
On two pins.
On two pins.
All right.
Looks pretty good to me.
Thank you very much.
No, no.
So what do you think?
Good?
Yeah.
Bye-bye.
How do you do?
What's in the bag?
Yes.
He's so curious.
We'll be right back with Martin Moe.
Well, as that unmistakable music tells us, yes, once again, it's time for
another visit
from Mr. Curious.
Excuse me, sir.
Can you tell me?
Excuse me, sir.
I just, a question about your hat.
Let me ask you about your hat.
Excuse me, ma'am.
What's your, what's your dog's name?
Excuse me, ma'am.
What do you, what do you have there in your bag?
What is this?
What do you mean?
What is this?
What is, what is the bag there?
Oh, come on.
This is my bag.
I just can't belong in.
Well, like what kind of stuff?
No, go ahead.
Sir, excuse me.
Can I ask you what you have in your bag there?
What do you have in your bag there?
What's it in their bag?
What?
It's a shopping bag.
Oh.
Yeah, what does she have in her bag?
You know, I asked her the same thing.
No, I'm just curious.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I'm just curious.
Okay.
See, it's none of my business unless you explain to them that you're curious,
and then it's,
it's okay.
Excuse me, sir.
Can I ask you a question?
Where'd you get that hat?
Where did you get that hat?
Well, I bought it from the store in Indiana.
Indiana?
And what do you do in New York?
Uh, well, I work here.
That's a good one.
I don't work here.
Where do you work?
All right.
Can I ask you a question?
Thank you.
Excuse me, ma'am.
What do you have there in the bag?
Why?
Well, I'd like to know what you have in your bag.
Why?
I'm curious about things like that.
You're joking.
No, no.
Why are you asking for it?
I just, I thought you, I saw you coming up a walk here, and I said to myself,
gee, I'm
very curious about what she has in her bag.
All right.
What do you have there in the bag?
Excuse me.
Let me ask you.
How much, how much you pay for that cigar?
What, what?
How much does that cigar cost you?
70 cents?
What's in the bag there?
Give me your paper, I'll show you the bag.
What do you write the card about it?
You belong to the underground, police.
Fine.
Yeah, underground, Mr. White.
Mr. Curious, how are you doing?
What do you got there in the bag?
Oh, wow.
What kind of clothes?
Hats and scarves.
Let me, let me see a hat.
See a hat?
Wow, wow.
Oh, that's a good look.
Let me put, try that one on.
Try this one on.
Yeah.
What did you pay for that?
No, this is a lady's hat.
Oh.
Hi, how are you?
Nice to see you.
Thank you.
Can I, can you show me what you have in your bag?
No.
Oh.
Why should I?
Who are you?
I'm Mr. Curious.
Well, I'm curious, too.
I want to know who you are.
Excuse me, sir.
No, sir.
Hi, how are you?
Hi.
Do you have, do you have a minute?
No.
Yes.
Another visit from Mr. Curious.
We'll be right back with Mae McClaren.
Dear Dave, I really enjoy the Mr. Curious segment of your show.
However, I am concerned about your safety.
Don't you know how dangerous it is to talk to strangers, especially right here
in New York City?
So be careful, Dave.
Your friend, Linda Springfield, Brooklyn, New York.
Well, Linda is referring to a segment we do.
We go out on the streets and we kind of playfully stop folks as they walk by
and we ask if we can't see what's in their belongings.
But I want to thank you for your words of caution, Linda.
But we do have some tape of how we go about choosing those people for the Mr.
Curious segment.
So let's take a look at it now.
And I'm sure you'll be able to see that it'll shed some light on that situation.
Yeah, she's clean, Dave.
How you doing?
What do you got in the bag?
Letter number five, dear Dave.
You know, as a broadcaster, I believe in the public's right to know.
But more important, I am committed as an individual to my own personal right to
know.
And that's the principle behind my fact-finding missions on the streets of New
York in the guise of Mr. Curious.
Hi.
I'm Mr. Curious.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, sir.
Do you have just a second?
Come here, just a second.
What's in the bag there?
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Come here, come here.
What kind of sandwich?
What do you have?
Excuse me, sir.
Oh, excuse me, sir.
Come here.
Come here.
You got it.
Your collar.
Your collar is turned up in the back.
Thank you.
Yes.
Good luck to you.
Never underestimate the importance of good grooming.
What do you have here?
Is this fresh?
Fresh.
Take it back and try and replace it, will you?
Excuse me.
Excuse me, sir.
Sir?
What?
Do you have a second?
Hi.
How you doing?
Let me ask you a couple of questions.
What do you have here in the bags?
Come here.
Come here.
Wait a minute.
Hey, come here.
Come here.
Hey, my man.
What's up, my man?
How you doing?
Doing like Moses.
Nice to see you.
Nice to see you, bro.
Take care.
You know the same, man.
Sure.
It's the homeboy.
I'll be chilling out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, you're right there, buddy.
Yeah.
Hi.
How you doing?
Excuse me a second, ma'am.
Ma'am?
Ma'am?
She looks at me like she wishes Bernard Getz was in the neighborhood.
Excuse me.
You got a second?
What's your name?
Come here.
I feel like a sailor on leave.
How many beers do you usually have for lunch?
Two.
Two?
Yeah, two.
You ever had three?
Yeah, three.
You ever had just gone crazy and had a six-pack?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Who do you work for?
I work on 27th Street.
Yeah?
Any particular guy you work for?
I work for three.
Yeah, I work for Bill Bette.
Nice guy?
Yeah, nice guy.
Does he know you're drunk most of the day?
I'm just kidding.
I know, I'm just kidding.
Okay, have a good day.
All right.
You can go now.
Good luck to you.
Have a nice weekend.
I didn't hear what your name is.
Ashkenazi.
Oh, I'm Mr. Ashkenazi.
We saw your name on a box over there.
This is you, Ashkenazi?
Yeah, this is me.
What are you doing?
I'm Mr. Curious.
What is it?
I roamed the streets of New York for endless hours at a time, asking people
questions about
their lives and their personal activities and balances in their checkbook and
so forth.
Do you think you live together?
Well, just barely.
This has not been a good year.
Don't ask me about that.
It's a complicated story.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
See this man coming here?
The one who looks like Lionel Richie?
When, by the way, wasn't he terrific on the Grammy Awards?
Ask him what he has in the bag.
Excuse me a second.
Do you have a second?
This is Mr. Ashkenazi.
He has a question for you.
Ask him what's in the bag.
No, no.
He wants to ask him what's in the bag.
Wow, look at that.
Pretty intense, eh?
He's got a Batmobile.
That's the, uh, the battering ram?
No idea.
Yeah.
The battering ram is in front.
On the front.
That's nice.
Okay, thank you very much.
Good luck to you.
Bye-bye.
What do you think of that guy with a Batmobile in his bag?
That guy's got to be 30.
He's walking around with a Batmobile.
What a jerk, eh?
It takes all kinds, doesn't it?
No.
No, I walk.
Pretty much walk.
Wherever I go.
Pretty much walk.
Now, here's a guy.
He's got a fur coat.
Why don't you ask him a couple of questions about the coat?
You're out of here?
Have a nice day.
Have a nice day.
We'll be right back with fight doctor Ferdy Pacheco.
We'll be right back with fight doctor Ferdy Pacheco.
What are we doing?
Is this a run-through or a real show?
We're ready to go.
We're going up into the studio audience tonight.
And by the way, ladies and gentlemen, I don't say this to get cheap applause,
but I always do.
We get the finest, most handsome group of humans ever.
This is a cordless mic, right?
New from Ronco.
Does it work?
Hello.
That's a beautiful dress you have.
Thank you.
What is your name?
Cynthia.
Where'd you get that dress?
In Dallas.
In Dallas.
And what did you pay for it?
I don't remember offhand.
Probably expensive.
What do you think she paid for it?
Oh, Matt, look at the guy I'm asking.
Army, Navy surplus.
Yeah, I'll...
Nice to have you here.
What are you doing in town from Dallas?
I'm here on a vacation.
Just graduated from college.
Uh-huh.
And what are you going to do now that you're out of college?
I'm going to go to UVA law school.
University of...
Virginia.
And you're going to study law.
And then what are you going to do?
Maybe move to New York.
Well, there's good money in that.
Nice having you here.
What do you have in the bag, by the way?
Did a little shopping, didn't you?
Let's just see.
No, come on.
Let's hold it up.
Shopping at Saks this afternoon, weren't you?
Yeah.
Now, what do you have in there?
Just pull out one item, and we'll take a look at it.
I know we have a wonderful show.
Don't worry.
Oh, boy.
It sort of matches the dress, doesn't it?
Hold that.
Hold that.
What is this exactly?
It's a swimsuit cover-up.
It's a swimsuit cover-up.
All right.
And let's see.
What did you pay for that?
All right.
Now, what do you...
I know the price of this.
What do you think she paid for this?
$20.
Not too bad.
It was, without going over the exact retail price, $26.
Congratulations.
All right.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.