Name: First Who Asked for It on Letterman, April 19, 1982.
Uploaded: 2016-09-19T01:26:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'First Who Asked for It on Letterman, April 19, 1982.' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'First Who Asked for It on Letterman, April 19, 1982.' from Don Giller on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-09-19. Transcript available.

Have I left anything out? Oh, and we're beginning a brand new feature on the
show that we'll get to immediately.
First of all, say hello to Mr. Paul Schaefer, ladies and gentlemen. Hello, Paul.
Hi, David. Thank you very much. We are all in a kind of a cuckoo groovy mood
tonight, and we think we're going to have a kind of a swinging show.
Thank you, Paul. Did you have a nice weekend, sir?
You know what? I emceed a wedding over the weekend.
Emceed a wedding?
Yes, yes. A couple of friends of mine got married, and there I was. I got conned
into being the emcee.
You actually performed the service?
No, I didn't. I didn't marry, although in some states a piano player can marry.
I know.
But no, I was just the emcee, and I was, you know, and now, ladies and
gentlemen, your first course of the evening.
You end up introducing the food.
Oh, that's great. So that's wonderful. Well, congratulations. Is there money in
that?
You can make a living doing it, yeah.
Well, I'm glad you folks, I'm glad you're back, Paul. I'm glad everybody in the
band is back.
I'm glad the nation is viewing tonight. I'm glad the studio audience is here,
because tonight we are going to attempt a daring new segment on the show,
a segment we like to call, Who Asked For It? So We Do.
We are going to hear from some members of our audience about things people
would like to see on big-time network television,
but never do. Never do, that is, until tonight.
Right here in this studio, we're going to try and fulfill the request of
audience members.
Let's take audience suggestion number one for Who Asked For It, Joyce Pagano.
Joyce, what is your request?
When am I going to see something intelligent on TV?
If you could just kind of keep these requests within the realm of possibility.
Thank you. Anyway, Joyce, audience request number two comes from Janet Bregger.
Janet, what is your request?
I would like to see the edible plant and shrub expert you have on today's
program kicked off the show.
You mean just 86-er?
Okay.
I'm sorry, which one of you is the edible plant and shrub expert?
Been a change in plans, pal.
Just help me load this stuff in.
No, we've got to go.
I'll tell you what, hang around, maybe you can get on the Today Show.
That's all right.
We'll mail you the mulch.
I'm sorry.
I hope you're happy.
Thanks.
Audience request number three comes from Anne Ivan.
Anne, what is on your mind tonight?
Anne Ivan.
I would like to see talk show star Virginia Graham firing an automatic weapon.
Talk show star Virginia Graham firing an automatic weapon?
Have you ever heard of her?
Of course we know who she is.
This is, uh...
You know, it would take us forever to get a permit to operate an automatic
weapon.
Number two, they're just dangerous as hell.
Will you settle for a crossbow?
Sure.
Fine.
Here then, ladies and gentlemen, talk show hostess Virginia Graham firing a
crossbow.
Thank you.
One more?
One more.
Oh, it's terrible.
All right, okay.
I've got to pretend it's someone I know.
All right, thank you.
Ready?
Okay.
Lower, lower, lower, lower.
Lower.
Would you take the safety off, friend?
Thank you so much.
Enemy.
Thank you very much.
Would you take the safety off, friend?
How many times have we all heard that in our own lives?
And finally, I'm hoping it's finally, audience request number four comes from
Jay Goldstein.
Jay, what is your request for the festivities this evening?
Well, first I'd like to say that sitting in our studio audience tonight is Stan
Sinberg.
Stan Sinberg, ladies and gentlemen.
Unbelievable.
What a coincidence.
Yes, Jay, if we could just have your request.
All right.
I'd just like to hear four bars if you can't sit down and then watch a
commercial.
Four bars if you can't sit down and then watch a commercial.
What do you think, Paul?
Can we handle that?
David, we do it just like we do it every other night.
You got it, Jay.